April's Real Blog

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Enter Super Teddy

Mike has sum more 2 share on his photo-reminiscences w/Merrie. Remembrances of Things Mike, eh?
April,

Formerly little sis. Today I decided to share one of my most favourite memories with my daughter. Using the old photo album, I found pictures of me and my stuffed teddy bear, I called Super Teddy, and whom mom called, “the bear from hell.”

Because my theme this week is telling the story about how I got along with my little sister Elizabeth, first I said, “Elizabeth seemed to get all of the attention—but I had something she didn’t have…” The theme was a little harder today, since none of the picture had me with my sister, but I made an exception for Super Teddy.

The first picture was of mom washing dishes in the kitchen with me clearly saying off to the side of the picture, “It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…” Then I asked my daughter, “What you do you is going to happen next after I said those words?” My daughter said, “You get glasses because you can’t tell a bird from a plane?” I said, “No. Those are classic words for a very special situation.” My daughter said, “I’ve seen Gramma Elly wash dishes before. She has a dishwasher, and she still washes dishes.” I said, “No, not the dishwasher or washing dishes. Think hard.” My daughter said, “Oh, Gramma Elly has pots on the counter and not in the shelf.” I said, “No. The words are for Superman.” My daughter said, “What do you mean?” I said, “The people said, ‘It’s a bird! It’s a plane!’ and then they said, ‘It’s Superman.’” My daughter said, “What?” I said, “Superman could fly.” My daughter said, “Oh! He’s a man who looks like a bird or a plane, and that’s why he can fly?” I said, “No. He looks like a man.” My daughter said, “I don’t get it.” I said, “It’s a catch phrase.” My daughter looked at me blankly. I said, “Let’s look at the next picture.”

The second picture was of something (Super Teddy) going over mom’s head, into the water in the sink and it knocked water and the word “Splosh” out of the sink on mom. I told my daughter, “Do you understand what happened in this picture?” My daughter said, “The water splashed the wrong way.” I said, “No. The water splashed on mom.” My daughter said, “Daddy. The thing goes over Gramma from behind her, so the water should be pushed the same way as the thing was going.” I said, “No. The water splashed on mom.” My daughter said, “Can I see the next picture?”

The third picture was of mom holding up Super Teddy by the ear, looking kind of exasperated that her face and her shirt were wet, and her face was kind of melting, but I think that was just makeup. I was right behind her and I said, “Super Teddy…” I said to my daughter, “You see. That was funny because my bear was flying like Superman and landed in the dishwater and got mom all wet.” My daughter said, “Why are you showing me pictures of you when you were mean?” I said, “Not mean! This is a great joke. You are just too little to understand Superman.” My daughter said, “Is it like when you told me The Three Stooges were funny?” I said, “No. Superman can fly. The Three Stooges couldn’t fly, at least not all the time.” After that, I had to go and rent a Superman movie, so my daughter could understand about Superman. I don’t know why my daughter is unaware of the pop culture icons I knew back when I was her age.

Love,
Michael Patterson
Hee. Merrie wants 2 know Y U're telling stories abt U being mean. I knew liked that girl!

Unk Danny, thanks 4 yr tips abt the courses I need 2 take 2 get in2 pre-vet @ U Winnipeg. I will make sure I get the pre-calc and the physics in. I'm already taking chem.

Apes

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7 Comments:

  • At 12:23 PM, Anonymous Luann D. said…

    I don't get you, Mike. Isn't it kind of a bad idea to show your young daughter photos of you doing mean things to your sister and your mom? I don't have kids or even babysit, but it just seems like that would be a bad influence on her.

     
  • At 12:43 PM, Anonymous liz patterson said…

    April,

    I am glad it is the time of year for gratuitous reminiscing, I am too busy to participate on your blog on topics that matter, so let Mike rewrite history, and show Mom being fat and having a bun back in a time when she was really thin with a ponytail, what can it hurt, I have to grade 30 papers on "why Canada is great" this week and also have four polite playdates with Anthony and his frenchy child.

    Liz

     
  • At 7:21 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    luann, mike never thinks he is setting a bad xxample, even when he totally is.

    liz, if mike continues w/his "life w/lizzie" theme this wk, u mite not like what he's got 2 say.

    apes

     
  • At 8:08 PM, Anonymous Michael Patterson said…

    April,

    Formerly little sis. What are you doing saying I never think I am setting a bad example, even when I am? That is certainly not true. There have been many times in the past, when I have done the wrong thing and regretted it. Admittedly, it’s been awhile since that has happened, and has only rarely occurred since I got married and had children.

    For example, when I was still a university lad, a car accident happened in front of me and I was happy with the possibility of getting some good pictures for the news, only to discover the person in the car accident was my old childhood sweetheart Deanna Sobinski. I felt great guilt about the matter then, and I admitted I was wrong to take pictures without considering the persons involved.

    Of course, when I am talking on podcasts about my life in order to promote my new book, I have a tendency to embellish the story a bit, and talk about how the incident was a girl who had hung herself in public in place that had a great sunset, and how the girl was a pregnant woman who had been thrown out of her house by her father, and how the girl was my best friend’s girlfriend and how I cried for a week after it happened. But if someone calls me on it, like points out what an extremely rare occurrence it is for a girl to hang herself in public, and that my wife Deanna is actually alive; then I have to confess it’s an embellishment for dramatic effect. The point it that, it was a life lesson, and I admitted I was wrong and learned so much from it. And I also got a wife out of the deal.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     
  • At 8:14 PM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    I am just doing a little fact-checking on this article at Portrait Magazine. Is it true your dog Farley was responsible for the Oklahoma City bombing? It seems stupid, I know, but we have to confirm everything.

    Love,
    Howard Bunt

     
  • At 8:51 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    mike, i heard that cuz of yr podcast interview, mira and wilf sobinski have been receiving sympathy cards.

    howard, no, farley had nothing 2 do w/the oklahoma city bombing. he rescued me and died shortly b4 the bombing happened, and ppl were finding out abt these things @ around the same time. i guess they kinda got linked in ppl's heads.

    apes

     
  • At 1:53 AM, Anonymous Michael Patterson said…

    April,

    Formerly little sis. After showing my daughter the video I rented of the Superman movie, she finally understood Super Teddy. She looked at the pictures of me and Super Teddy in the photo album and she said, “You had a SUPER TEDDY?” I think perhaps she thought I had a teddy bear that was an official toy from the Superman movie, which might be an expensive collectors item now. Considering all the pictures in the photo album showed Super Teddy flying, she might have thought he could really fly like Superman. So I explained it to her, “Well, not a real Super Teddy. He was just a Teddy Bear with a napkin tied around his neck.” It turned out my daughter had been setting me up, because almost out of nowhere she pulled out a teddy bear with a napkin tied around his neck.

    She said, “Like this?” I responded, “Exactly!” However, it wasn’t exactly the same. My Super Teddy was a larger teddy bear which had a greater striking force when hurled, and also had longer ears and face not unlike a dog. My daughter’s teddy had short ears and looked much more like the traditional teddy bear, as if someone, let’s say, was an inexperienced artist and had no idea what a teddy bear looked like, versus a more experienced artist who had a little plastic figurine of a teddy bear they could copy.

    I was on the verge of saying, “And I’d toss him through the air yelling…It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s Super Teddy!” as you may remember me saying just yesterday when I was describing the picture in the photo album. However, at this point, I got a phone call saying the “It’s a bird. It’s a plane.” stuff is copyrighted, and I needed to come up with a different catch phrase. So instead, I said,
    “And I’d toss him through the air yelling…Hiiyaaaaa Kowabunga Super Teddyyy!!”

    Then my daughter said, “Hi-yaahhh Kowabunga Super Teddyyy!” and she swung her arm in an arc that mysteriously caused her teddy to go from behind her head to straight ahead from her. It was quite amazing. I was about comment about how she needed to say, “Hiiyaaaaa” instead of “Hi-yaahhh”, unless of course she was separating “Hiiyaaaaa” across two lines and needed the hyphen, when there was a silent crashing noise from the other room.

    My daughter and I went to see what made the silent crashing noise, and it turned out that my daughter’s teddy had landed on my lovely Deanna’s new giant-sized indoor plant. The plant lost a few leaves and looked relatively uninjured, so when it comes right down to it, it was a fairly unsuccessful Super Teddy kind of landing. More astounding than the plant damage was my lovely wife Deanna who said, “Is this what you call a good example?” My daughter and I were both distracted by Deanna’s misshapen right hand with only two very long fingers, aside from her thumb, which is technically not a finger. Normally I would come up with a witty comeback to a question like that from my wife, but those two fingers were freaking me out and all I could think was, “No…but I’d call it a great toss!” And it was a great toss, even though it was not a good example of how much damage and destruction a true Super Teddy can cause.

    I'm sure that given enough time, my daughter will achieve Super Teddy greatness. I think I need to lock up all my breakables now.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     

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