April's Real Blog

Monday, September 10, 2007

More Rehashing and School Stuff

More reminiscing from Mike:

Formerly little sis. Mom suggested that I make a theme of my remembrances via the old photo album with my daughter and this week’s theme should be me and my sister. I found a few pictures which were about me and Elizabeth just after Hallowe’en, and decided I would use those. First I said, “I didn’t like sharing with a little sister.” Then I showed my daughter the first picture.

The first picture was of me, leaning comfortably against the old green and black-striped chesterfield having a great time eating Hallowe’en candy with “Munch, Glut, Chew, Eat, Slupp” sounds accompanying my vigourous eating, along with spittle flying everywhere and large stains around my mouth. My daughter said, “Daddy! You are messy eating like Gramma Elly.” I said, “Yes, but my sound effects are only in black, whereas Gramma Elly’s have their own speech balloon.” My daughter had to admit Gramma Elly was an even sloppier eater today than I was, with Hallowe’en candy at age 5. My sister didn’t care for my sloppiness and in the same picture, she sounded the alarm of “Uh Uh!”

That’s not exactly a crying alarm kind of sound you would think would alert a parent and yet in the next picture I showed my daughter, there was mom clearly saying, “Michael! I said you were to share that candy with Elizabeth!!” I looked up at her with innocent drool dripping off my face, and Elizabeth continued to gesticulate in my direction. My daughter said, “Daddy. You don’t give candy to babies. It makes them sick.” I would have liked to have told my daughter how the candy did make Elizabeth sick. I would like to have told my daughter this was the reason I had chosen not to share my candy with Elizabeth, but the very next picture betrayed my true sentiments.

In it, I held the Hallowe’en candy bag close to my bosom and said, “I am sharing! I’m givin’ her the wrappers!” My daughter said, “Daddy! Wrappers! You’re funny. I gave Robin dirt to eat. You gave Auntie Liz wrappers. Wrappers are good.” I began to think a thought about letting my daughter know that feeding her younger brother candy wrappers was not a good idea, but then again showing her a photo album of me giving my younger sister candy wrappers was also not a good idea, and it would seem a little hypocritical of me to tell her to do one thing after I just showed I did the other. Since hypocrisy is one the ways of being a Patterson, I opted to not tell my daughter anything, and instead concentrated on how much I looked like our family friend Linus van Pelt, in these old pictures.

Michael Patterson
I have a bad feeling that lots of those old pics of U will show U b-ing a bad xxample, Mike. But yr rite, U did look a whole lot like Linus in early fotos.

Sum ppl have e-mailed me and asked what I'm studying in school this semester. Well, for English, I've got Canadian lit this semester. Science is chem, math is functions, and I have a music elective. It'll B cube cuz we've got theory and analysis, but also we get 2 create our own music. Tho I'm not 2 jazzed abt the "classical and baroque" stuff we'll hafta do. I did learn sum of that kinda thing w/Mr. Bergan, so it shdn't B 2 bad. All of my classes R, like, the university-prep type. The other options are "college" and "workplace." In case U R curious abt grade-11 stuff 4 Ontario, U can check out sum info @ the Ministry of Ed page.

Labels: , ,


  • At 8:41 PM, Anonymous Dan Cruikshank said…


    Just a friendly reminder to my niece. The University of Winnipeg pre-veterinary program requires Chemistry 40S, Pre-Calculus Mathematics 40S or Applied Mathematics,40S and may require Physics 40S and Pre-Calculus Mathematics 40S for some of its courses. I know you like your cousin Laura, but you don’t want to make the same mistakes she did picking her senior secondary courses. As you know, Laura already has a degree in Agriculture. In spite of that, she is still at the University of Winnipeg in her pre-veterinary program after 3 years. We hoped she would be one of the 13 allotments from Manitoba to the Western College of Veterinary Medicine University of Saskatchewan at Saskatoon by this time, like her mom was before her. Make sure you take the right courses, April. You don't want to be in school forever draining your parents' money.

    Uncle Danny

  • At 1:24 AM, Anonymous Michael Patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. Today I decided to share one of my most favourite memories with my daughter. Using the old photo album, I found pictures of me and my stuffed teddy bear, I called Super Teddy, and whom mom called, “the bear from hell.”

    Because my theme this week is telling the story about how I got along with my little sister Elizabeth, first I said, “Elizabeth seemed to get all of the attention—but I had something she didn’t have…” The theme was a little harder today, since none of the picture had me with my sister, but I made an exception for Super Teddy.

    The first picture was of mom washing dishes in the kitchen with me clearly saying off to the side of the picture, “It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…” Then I asked my daughter, “What you do you is going to happen next after I said those words?” My daughter said, “You get glasses because you can’t tell a bird from a plane?” I said, “No. Those are classic words for a very special situation.” My daughter said, “I’ve seen Gramma Elly wash dishes before. She has a dishwasher, and she still washes dishes.” I said, “No, not the dishwasher or washing dishes. Think hard.” My daughter said, “Oh, Gramma Elly has pots on the counter and not in the shelf.” I said, “No. The words are for Superman.” My daughter said, “What do you mean?” I said, “The people said, ‘It’s a bird! It’s a plane!’ and then they said, ‘It’s Superman.’” My daughter said, “What?” I said, “Superman could fly.” My daughter said, “Oh! He’s a man who looks like a bird or a plane, and that’s why he can fly?” I said, “No. He looks like a man.” My daughter said, “I don’t get it.” I said, “It’s a catch phrase.” My daughter looked at me blankly. I said, “Let’s look at the next picture.”

    The second picture was of something (Super Teddy) going over mom’s head, into the water in the sink and it knocked water and the word “Splosh” out of the sink on mom. I told my daughter, “Do you understand what happened in this picture?” My daughter said, “The water splashed the wrong way.” I said, “No. The water splashed on mom.” My daughter said, “Daddy. The thing goes over Gramma from behind her, so the water should be pushed the same way as the thing was going.” I said, “No. The water splashed on mom.” My daughter said, “Can I see the next picture?”

    The third picture was of mom holding up Super Teddy by the ear, looking kind of exasperated that her face and her shirt were wet, and her face was kind of melting, but I think that was just makeup. I was right behind her and I said, “Super Teddy…” I said to my daughter, “You see. That was funny because my bear was flying like Superman and landed in the dishwater and got mom all wet.” My daughter said, “Why are you showing me pictures of you when you were mean?” I said, “Not mean! This is a great joke. You are just too little to understand Superman.” My daughter said, “Is it like when you told me The Three Stooges were funny?” I said, “No. Superman can fly. The Three Stooges couldn’t fly, at least not all the time.” After that, I had to go and rent a Superman movie, so my daughter could understand about Superman. I don’t know why my daughter is unaware of the pop culture icons I knew back when I was her age.

    Michael Patterson


Post a Comment

<< Home