The Reminiscing Begins

So, rite on sked, Mike an' Merrie have started w/the lookin' @ foto albums and reminiscing. Mike has posted this:

April,

Formerly little sis. Mom and I were looking all around for that old picture album and guess who had it? It was my daughter. I found her sitting at our dining room table looking at the album. At first I was relieved she had the album, but then I was a little startled at my daughter’s height. Her little body towered over the table. I went and asked my lovely wife Deanna when our daughter stopped using booster seats in the dining room chairs, and Deanna told me we don’t use them, even for my son. You see, I could have sworn that just back in July, my daughter had to sit in my lap to see above the table, and yet there she was. Children grow up too fast, April.

As a good father you have to learn to adapt. So I went back to my daughter, who pointed to a picture and said, “Daddy, who’s this?” I said, “That’s Grandpa Jim, your great-grandfather.” I was lucky to recognize him at all, because for some reason, this album had a lot of pictures that seemed to be negatives, where the humans appear like white silhouettes and the background appears like it is completely black. I don’t think I would have recognized Grandpa Jim at all, except for the cigarette hanging out of his mouth. It was back in the days when Grandpa Jim was with Grandma Marian, and he had dark hair and chain-smoked. Naturally my daughter would not equate him with the old, white-haired guy they don’t see very often any more thanks to his salty language, from whatever that talking disease is he has which makes him curse all the time.

Then my daughter pointed to the lady standing beside Grandpa Jim in the picture and said, “And who’s this lady?” Thank goodness it was Grandma Marian, and not that woman whom Grandpa used to…I think I remember mom asked me not to tell you that story. It was Grandma Marian so I said, “Grandma Marian. She died before you were born.” I mentioned the part about dying, in order to provide my daughter a little relief from the embarrassment of not having recognized Grandpa Jim, whom she saw just last month at the picnic at our house. When it comes to recognizing people in pictures, you don’t want to be critical of the young. Otherwise, they will lose all interest in looking at pictures.

My daughter does not have an understanding of dying yet. She’s never killed an animal like the two you did, which helped you learn about death at a very early age. So she said, “I never saw her?” Like I said before, you don’t want to be too critical of the young, so after I sat down in my imaginary chair (my daughter’s favourite trick of mine), I answered her question with “No—and I didn’t see her much, either. She and Grandpa Jim lived on the other side of the country.” You see what I did there? My daughter could never see Grandma Marian since she was dead, unless my daughter has been participating in some of those séances to contact the dead. At least I hope she hasn’t been doing that. There was one day when it took me about an hour to find her, and it ended up she was hiding in our closet, and that would have been an opportunity for a séance. I don’t think she has the right tools to do one. I didn’t find any candles or weejee cushions in the closet. In any case, I told my daughter I was like her, and I didn’t get to see Grandma Marian much either. Her daddy is just she is, with a distance between her and her great grandma Marian, except the distance between her and our Grandma Marian includes the barrier to the afterlife.

The next question my daughter asked me made me smile. She said, “Why did they move so far away?” You see, formerly little sis. My daughter has lived in Milborough for just 9 months, and already she thinks of it as home, and she questions why anyone would want to live far away from Milborough. She is going to make such a great Patterson someday. However, since she did ask a real question, I had to answer, “They didn’t. Their daughter-your Grandma Elly-moved here to go to school.” Now you may find this a little confusing. After all, mom did not actually move to Milborough to go to school. I tried to simplify things for my daughter to understand it. I felt the story was getting too complicated for her tiny little brain to comprehend.

I decided that was probably enough for tonight and said, “It’s sort of a long story!” My daughter looked into my eyes, and touched my arm, and I could swear she had my lovely wife Deanna’s face, except with her little girl hair style and not Deanna’s bowl cut. It was freaking me out, especially when she said, “That’s OK, daddy….I’ve got time.” That’s probably true. The notice I got from the Johnston Institute for Better Learning said I should expect to be having this conversation about albums with my daughter until early next year. So, it would be about a 6-month long conversation. I am not sure I can maintain this for 6 months. That invisible chair thing is really rough on my back.

Love,
Michael Patterson

OMG, Mike, I did NOT kill NE animals! I thought I got U 2 admit this the last time this horrible topic came up. Y R U back 2 accusing me of killing them? U know what, there R ppl who say that if NE1 killed Farley, it was MOM, and that MOM also almost killed ME. By noticing that I knew how 2 let myself out that back g8 and never doing NEthing 2 secure it. By being oblivious abt me going out back on my own, cuz she was so, so pre-occupied w/showing off her cruise pics 2 Grandma Carrie. Since U R lookin' @ old pics NEway, U shd prolly review this, this, this, this, and this. U C ME almost drowning, U C Farley rescuing me, and U C that Farley was still alive when I was pulled outta the water. U can also C that Liz was the last one 2 C him alive!

And speaking of Liz, mayB I need 2 remind U that the only reason that Mr. B b-came "my" bunny was that LIZ decided she didn't feel like taking care of him NEmore. So she "gave" him 2 me, which was really her way of passing on the responsibility while still having the option 2 play w/him when she felt like it. And she even tried 2 get me 2 change his name 2 Mr. Furgus, the name Becky decided 2 give him when she bunny-sat. And she got all pissy when Dad reminded her that she'd given the bunny 2 me. She yelled that Dad always took my side and he liked me best. As if. And try 2 keep in mind that I was only five when Liz brought that bunny home, and only 11 when he died. Considering how young I was, and that I had all the responsibility dumped on me so early, it's a wonder I kept him alive as long as I did. I think I can B 4given 4 not recognizing that he was ill B4 I did. I WAS 11 YEARS OLD!

Well, have fun reminiscing 4 the duration.

Apes