More on Mom an' Dad's Retcon Romance

Mike had another installment 2 the story he was telling Merrie abt Mom an' Dad when they 1st met:

April,

Formerly little sis. Well, mom had some more “pictures of her past” for me about the time when she and dad met, and a little script to go along with them. I was trying to show them to my daughter, but I found she was nearly unconscious after yesterday. I decided I would just read the script and look at the pictures to fulfill my obligation to mom.

The first picture showed a 3-story building with no windows on the lower floor. On top was a sign which said, “Toronto School of Dentistry.” Then there was a huge sign about head-level with the silhouetted persons walking beside the building, which had a lot of words which were too small to read, except for “Free Dentistry”. Mom’s script said, “Every Thursday night, there was a free clinic at the dental school.” I went to mom and said, “What is this picture? I used to live in Toronto. The dentistry school is called the University of Toronto Faculty of Dentistry. It’s on Edward Street. The building has been there at least since 1958 and it looks the same way today as it did then. It does not look like this building. This looks like the Milborough School of Dentistry, with Toronto over the part where it says Milborough.” Mom said, “Goodness, Michael. Why are you so picky?” I said, “My daughter has seen the real building before. She will know this picture is a fake.” Mom said, “Accuracy is not important, when it comes to telling a story of love. What is important is letting your daughter know that back when I was in university I was frugal. I didn’t spend any money on my dental work, because I used a free clinic.” I said, “About that free clinic….” But then mom interrupted me and said, “Get back to your daughter and finish the story, Michael.”

So I went back to my daughter and I pulled out the second picture. It had a picture of a man looking through a door at a line of people in a long hallway sitting in chairs. Behind them on the wall, was a sign asking people to vote for someone. The script said, “And one evening, my mom went in for a checkup. My dad saw her waiting in line and asked the prof to let her be his patient.” My daughter said, “Client. Grandpa John calls them clients.” I said, “Back then they called them patients.” My daughter said, “Which one of those people on the wall is Grandma Elly?” I said I thought it was the one with her legs crossed. My daughter said, “That person has a turban on her head.” I said, “I think it’s her hair in a bun.” My daughter said, “Who is the person hiding behind the door?” I said, “That’s Grandpa John.” My daughter said, “He likes to hide behind things and look at Grandpa Elly, doesn’t he?” I said, “It certainly seems that way.”

Then I went to the next picture. It was a picture of inside the clinic. There was a nice reclining office chair. Someone who looked kind of like dad was standing beside it motioning to the person who kind of looked like mom to sit down. There were these extended track lighting fixtures hanging from the ceiling and a table full of dental instruments beside the chair. My daughter said, “Where’s the equipment?” I said, “What equipment?” My daughter said, “Like Grandpa John has in his office.” I looked and sure enough, there was no equipment there aside from what was on the table. The picture did not even have the old spittoon, I remembered when I was growing up. I got up and went to mom. I said, “Track lighting. No spittoon. Where was this picture taken?” Mom said, “We got a good picture in a furniture and lighting store. It looks just like a dentistry place.” I said, “My daughter spotted it right away. Mom. If you don’t have the right pictures, if the persons who are supposed to be you and dad don’t look like you did in those days, then why not let me tell the story? I am a professional writer, you know.” Mom said, “Today’s audience needs something visual. Did you tell your daughter the joke yet?” I said, “No, mom. She’s not going to get a pun based on ‘I’m just a girl who can’t say “No!”. Mom said, “No. It’s based on ‘I’m gonna make you an offer you no canna refuse.’ Young people are smarter than you think. Try it.”

So I went back to my daughter and showed her the final picture. It was picture of “mom” with a facial mask, and a dental bib and “dad” standing behind her looking in her mouth through a hand-held mirror and some other dental instrument. “Dad” had on gloves, but was not wearing a mask himself. My daughter said, “Why is Grandma Elly wearing that mask?” I didn’t know so I got up and went to dad. I said, “Dad. Why do you put a facial mask on a patient?’ Dad said, “Are we talking about trains or dentistry?” I said, “Dentistry.” Dad said, “First of all, we call them clients now. The masks could be used to prevent harm to the patient from the emitted light of the dental procedure. We use them for our clients who are too bright. Get it?” I said, “Funny one dad. What if the eyes and nose are uncovered, and only the lower part of the head is covered, except for the mouth?” Dad said, “That dental patient face mask protects the patient from projected liquid and solid materials often encountered during the administration of dental procedures. It’s so if I spit or slip, it doesn’t drip or rip their lip. That one rhymes, you see?” I told dad I saw it. I went back and told my daughter. She said, “Just read the script dad.” I said, “I guess mom was really impressed, because when he asked for a date…she couldn’t say ‘No’!” Then in the picture there was a word balloon coming out of mom saying, “Yrgl.” My daughter said, “What does Yrgl mean, dad?” I said, “You Read Good Lips.” My daughter said, “It does not. That’s silly.” I said, “You win. All it means is dad asked mom a question she couldn’t answer because he put something in her mouth.” My daughter said, “So Grandma Elly wanted to say 'No,' but Grandpa John wouldn’t let her. Is that allowed?” I said, “For Grandpa John it was.”

That was it for this session, formerly little sis. I hope that tomorrow at least, some part of this story is going to make some kind of sense. After all, if you think about it carefully, you will realize that yesterday ended with mom and dad staring at each other saying nothing, but dad thought-ballooning about her. I refuse to believe that mom and dad’s romance is this similar to Elizabeth and Anthony’s romance.

Love,
Michael Patterson

Yeah, I don't want Mom an' Dad's luv story 2 B NEthing like Liz/Anthony either. Blecch. U prolly can't tell from how bad thoze pix R, but it took 4EVS 2 assemble them in Photoshop. And Mom w/her head over my shoulder commenting on everything I did. Yeah, I totally sed we shd use a real pic of that dental building in TO, but Mom insisted the Milborough bldg w/"Toronto" pasted in wd look more "authentic." I really hope Mom isn't gonna make me retouch the real fotos of her and Dad when they were yung, like to put a bun on her hair or erase Dad's sideburns. That wd B way lame.

Paul, thanx 4 checking in w/yr comment last nite and xxplaining sum of the stuff that didn't sound rite in Liz's Sept. 2007 monthly letter.

So, school started yesterday. I was sad 2 hafta start w/out Dunc. I think I'll like my classes, tho they're gonna B challenging, 2. I wanna do well so I can get in2 a gd pre-vet programme.

Apes