April's Real Blog

Monday, June 27, 2005

Proud of My Rack!

Yep, that's right, Liz, I finally have a rack that can hold up a strapless! Okay, I'm actually cheating with some pins an' rubberbands an' stuff, but Liz doesn' hafta know that. At least she finally noticed how hot I look! "Spectacular" is right!

I don't blame Shiimsa for bein' a bit scared. Look at us. I can't quite put my finger on it, but we all look a little weird, like our limbs and features are, I dunno, not drawn very well. I guess everyone feels this way sometimes, right? Right?

Some people tell me I should grow out my bangs, but the truth is I'm afraid. Look what happened to Liz. I'm pretty sure she used to have a forehead, but lately she's got a two-head. If that's gonna happen to me, I at least wanna have bangs to cover that shit up.


  • At 11:49 AM, Anonymous Gerald said…

    Hey, April-

    u r so teh hotz in your dress!

    check out this shirt--it is so grade 12:


    if u wear it you'd be teh hot dinner on the table an' a smoke & a pancake!

    Wanna share gum after school?

  • At 11:53 AM, Anonymous Liz said…

    Oh, yeah?

    Well, at least I don't have a big fat ugly bowl cut on my head! And I don't have to wear fakies either. I'm way hotter than you, "Aypo"--all my students think I'm teh bomb!

    You're just jealous of my look, and you want my pussy (Shimsa).

  • At 12:07 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    Oh my god, Apes, I was kidding about the ponytail looking sexy. You gotta do your hair like Katie Holmes if you wanna catch some cute boys. No offense, but Gerald isn't any Tom Cruise, you know. But you know, in that dress, even I have to admit you look like a 7 or an' 8.

    I'm bringing some of mom's vitamins to grad. They'll help us stay awake during the ceremony, an' help us dance all night, an' stay thin if we eat too much cake! They're like MAGIC pills!

    LYLAS, Beckster

  • At 12:21 PM, Anonymous Gerald said…

    becky - u r nuthing but a big roadside foob. i'm so going to swap gum with april an' u can't stop me, cuz i'm hot dinner on the table, baby.

    also, ape so looks teh sexxy with her fatt ponytail. so there!

  • At 12:26 PM, Anonymous Michael Ppattterson said…

    okay so im really new at this internet thing somebody told me that its called the world wideweb but that jsut sounds really stupid so anyway dee said thta this is were my little sister april has a blog i said whats a blog and dee said its kind of like a diary online and i said well thats really stupid if yuo whanted a diary why wouldnt you just right it in a book like eveyrone else i guess its just cause som people cant right good so they hafta rely on coumpeuters for grammur and sppellcheck so anyway dee said she didnt knoe but that alot of kids do it becaus e they want to be cool so i figurde id do it to be cool two and maybe someone famous like graydon carter will read this an ill get hired at vanity fair oh well anyway i just wnated to say whats down aypo word out lizardbreath

    Michael Pattterson

    ps dear mr graydon catrer please contact me really soon about the senior edtior job at vanity fair ill be staying at my moms house her phone # is 555-3259

    Micael Patterson

  • At 12:29 PM, Anonymous Duncan said…

    April, what is with that dress? Are you trying to shake your booty in it in today's strip. You look totally roadside like Becky!

  • At 12:31 PM, Anonymous Duncan said…

    Oh, and one last thing. Why do you care that your sister thinks you are hot? That's sort of weird and a little creepy (like "Deliverance" creepy)!

  • At 12:33 PM, Anonymous gerald said…

    wut is with ur brother. he is a total foob! also, his writing sux! isn't he supposed to be a reporter?

  • At 12:47 PM, Anonymous shann0n said…

    your s....s..ister's...cat...is....pretty...Ap..Ap..Arpil

  • At 1:23 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    Gerald, that shirt is awesome, I'm so gonna buy it with my grad money!

    Becks, Liz told me she'd do my hair for me, but now I'm afraid she's mad at me. Sorry, Liz, I didn' mean to make you mad!

    Hi, Mike, Duncan, Shannon. . . . See ya at grad!

  • At 1:38 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    Ape, you should let me do your hair. Liz doesn't know anything about looking sexy. Look how she dresses! My sis taught me how to do hair and she got top marks at beauty school.

    And you can do way better than Gerald. He can call me all the names he wants but I was voted Most Popular in our yearbook and he was just Class Clown. He is not hot dinner on a plate--he's cold leftovers with mold. Fix your hair and you can definitely do better in high school.

  • At 4:14 PM, Anonymous Gerald said…

    wut-EVA! u are only "most popular" cuz ur name is written all over the guy's bathroom. an' ur jealous you can't make it with a sizlin steak on the platter like me. u r also jealous of april, cuz she is way more classy than you. she don't need to get nekkid for attention.

  • At 4:37 PM, Anonymous kortney said…

    gawd, april. u r such a lame-o. u have no rite 2 wear a dress like that. save it 4 tha peeps that r'nt geeks, like your friend becky. she's the kool 1 n ur grup.

  • At 5:23 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    Gerald, if I offered to go roadside with you, you would do it in a heartbeat. You know it, I know it, and April knows it.

    And I have no reason to be jealous of Ape, 'cause she is my BFF, and 'cause everyone knows I am prettier an' popularer than her.

  • At 5:25 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    Oh, an' Kortney, you can bite me. UR way ugly. Ape is way hotter than U. She looks XXXtra hot in that dress an' you just look like some ol' wicked witch every damn day.

    Buzz off, thief!

  • At 6:32 PM, Anonymous josef wee--i mean--kortney said…

    Bullcrap, Becky! You totally know I'm the hotter than you! I'm no witch--I'm the hottest crossdresse...um...chick in Canada!

  • At 7:10 PM, Anonymous Mike Patterson said…

    Waittaminute, I'm going over to Weed's an' getting him to do that Olé move again.


  • At 7:18 PM, Anonymous Lawrence said…

    That's right, Girlfriends! I wasn't the only one in the closet. Now all we have to do is get Mikie-Poo to join us! Weed told me he caught him wearing Deanna's robe & lipstick yesterday, but terricloth doesn't do him justice and coral is totally not his color!

  • At 7:19 PM, Anonymous Lawrence said…

    Whoops! I said "Weed," but I meant Kortney (that's how "she" prefers to be called).

  • At 7:50 PM, Anonymous Carleen said…


    Weed's obsession with fashion models should have been a tip-off. I've been so blind!


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