April's Real Blog

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Young Mike's Negotiations

Mike continues w/his flashbacks, ppl:

Formerly little sis. You may not be aware of this, but one of the benefits to being smart and inquisitive; emotional, sensitive and theatrical, is that sometimes when you went to stores, your parents would bribe you with a toy to be good. In fact, I was so smart and inquisitive; emotional, sensitive and theatrical, I was able to ask for a toy as a matter of going to a store without too much trouble. The negotiation was mainly on the quality of the toy I would get.

For example, I remember on one occasion saying to mom, “If I’m good…can I have a toy?” I was walking beside mom and holding her hand, with my other hand in my pocket (a habit which we Pattersons have to this very day). If I think back hard enough I can actually see myself there walking, with what appears on my head to be an early stage of Proteus syndrome which, as you know, comes and goes in our family. Little Lizzie is there in her stroller not strapped in, as was the standard for strollers in the day. Mom has on this jacket with an odd belt that goes all the way around her body except for on her left side. It’s an odd sort of fashion statement that kind of says, “I have a nice belt, but imagine something from my left.” I suppose the important part is that when I asked for a toy, mom doesn’t shut me down and say something like, “I am not going to buy your good behaviour Michael.”, but says, “We’ll see…” which was her way of saying, “Yes.”

I decided to go with that positive affirmation and run with it. I said, “If I’m really good—can I have a BIG toy?” Most times, this tactic worked. On this particular occasion, it didn’t.

Mom responded, “You may have a little toy!” I decided to fake nausea and crying from the rejection of the big toy and doubled over, but it didn’t work very well. Mom usually says something like, “Are you feeling sick? Let’s get you that big toy so you feel better.” I guess I had pulled that trick one too many times, because she didn’t say anything.

So, I decided that mom needed to be reminded of how smart and inquisitive; emotional, sensitive and theatrical I could be. If I got a little toy, I thought to myself, “Then I only hafta be a little good…” Aside from finding a way to focus my energy, I had also found a valid means by which I could measure proportion.

Michael Patterson
I guess that helps xxplain, partly, Y Mike is the way he is, eh? Well, foax, let's all hope we get a NEW (present-day) topic 2 talk abt Monday.


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  • At 9:21 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i hadda pretty good tyme w/u wen we went out w/eva & her bf duncan’s silhouette yesterday, aftah watchin' duncan's silhouette play basketball on the r.p. boire team. i think duncan's silhouette prolly wud've played bettah, if it weren't 4 the strong lighting in that gymnasium.

    i hadda good tyme, u know, 'till that 1 part. like u, i wuz a little grossed out wen they started w/the sex talk, kinda @the end of the dubble-d8, wen u were drivin’ them home. u know wen eva wuz sayin’, “if i’m good…can i have a toy?” & duncan’s silhouette sed, “we’ll c” & then eva sed, “if i’m rilly good-can i have a big toy?” & duncan’s silhouette sed, “baby, thass the only kinda toy i have.”

    neway, they were kinda fun 2b around ‘till then. then aftah u dropped them off i wuz rilly glad u didn’t say nethin’ ‘bout little or big toys wen we were…um…u know…doin’ stuff.

  • At 11:47 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    jeremy, i agree, i totally did not need 2 hear that "big toy" stuff. sumtymes I think eva 4gets other peeps can hear.


  • At 1:26 PM, Anonymous liz patterson said…

    Ugly Brother,

    I remember stuff from back then too, but just a little bit, because I was a baby, and I have a memory that I am confused about, I remember that Mom would sometimes be very thin and attractive, and then right in the middle of a conversation or event, she would morph into this fat lumpy-bodied hag with a pudding butt, and then she would go back to being thin again, it was like a preview of her future self or something, I remember it scared me, that Mom could blub up so fast, anyway, that Proteus Syndrome thing, you will remember that these rare genetic ilnesses happen a lot here in Milborough, sometimes I think Frenchy has progeria, because she looks and acts so much older than age 2.


  • At 4:09 PM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Oh, man. I thot I cldnt c my shadow cos its Groundhog Day & theres going 2b an erly spring.

  • At 5:25 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    omg, dunc, u hafta come back 2 mboro and get yr shadow back! yr shadow on its own is kinda creepy!



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