April's Real Blog

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Isn't it "glass half full"?

So, more on my recent visit 2 Gramps and Iris's place. I was sitting @ the kitchen counter, and Iris was all, "Yr Grandpa is in gd health, April. His doctor thinks it's depression that makes him so....slow. I do what I can, but I can't bring back his ability 2 speak or 2 dance or 2 play guitar." Iris refilled our tea cups so she cd set up 4 sum wordplay. She went on like, "There R so many things he can't do." I asked, "But...what abt the things he CAN do?" Iris was like, "Yes... his cup is 1/2 full. But he thinks it's empty." I was disappointed, cuz I thot we were abt 2 have a discussion abt what Gramps can do and ways 2 help him do them. Like mayB we cd get out that picture book every1 seems 2 have 4gotten abt and @ least help him communic8, U know? But Iris had 2 go 4 the "cup" thing, which, BTW, I thot was supposta B "glass," only we were drinking from teacups.

Mike, I M no "pot" 2 yr Patterkettle. Unlike U, Gramps does not fall asleep @ the v. site of U. AND he doesn't fall asleep every time I play guitar 4 him, as he duz every time U try 2 read yr writing 2 him. So, deal with that.


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  • At 8:49 AM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    Too bad Iris's cup is full of the negativity your mother pours out of the wells of of pessisism in her doom-and-gloom brain. If she didn't have to do this alone AND deal with a turnip-nosed wet blanket who'd find something to complain about in Paradise itself, she wouldn't share the love with Gramps.

  • At 9:11 AM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. You may think you are no Patterkettle, if that makes you feel better. However, I would like to say that I would much rather poke Grandpa Jim until he wakes up, even if it took days, than have to listen to Iris' feeble attempts at wordplay. After all, April, the "cup is half-full and empty" is old and tired and weak, even for one of Iris' puns. You're a Patterson and you can pun better than that in your sleep. If you like listening to Iris and her jokes, then go right ahead with what you've been doing. As for me, when I go to read to Grandpa Jim, he's getting poked.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 5:09 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, do u rilly wanna watch the leafs play 2nite ovah @ur grandpa's apartment? yru bringin' ur guitar again? i don't get this "i'm gonna prove grandpa jim duzn't fall asleep on me like he duz 2 mike wen he reads" thing.

  • At 5:45 PM, Blogger howard said…


    Your story with Iris is so Iris. As much as I like the woman, her math skills do leave something to be desired, particularly when it comes to beverages. I remember making up a mocha chocolate delight drink for her once when I worked for her, and doing the glass half-empty and glass half-full illustration to show pessimism vs. optimism. Well, every time I filled the glass half full with the mocha chocolate delight drink for my illustration and said, “Glass Half Full”, she would drink the whole thing down in one shot and said “Glass Empty”. I don’t think I ever finished my illustration with her before she drank all of the mocha chocolate delight drink. Needless to say, I am not surprised she still doesn’t have the illustration right with you.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 6:09 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. Don't tell Elizabeth, but the rumour is that her wedding has been put off until “no later than this September.” Apparently there are some loose ends that need to be tied up before it can happen.

    I suspect one of those loose ends may be Anthony Caine. Gordon Mayes asked me if would be willing to participate in a little, “tie up Anthony and make him propose” party, an invitation to which I initially answered “No. I’m too busy writing my second best-selling novel, Breaking the Windjammer.” However, I was convinced otherwise.

    Did you know there is a big market in children’s books? I wonder why mom never told me this. As it turns out, I am being considered as an author for a children's book in the works starring our late and beloved dog, Farley. I suggested “The Murder of Farley” as a title, but I was told that wouldn’t be the best title for a children’s book. Apparently they are thinking more along the lines of Hairy Farley and the Dogdish of Fire or maybe Pat the Farley or The Poky Little Farley or possibly Green Eggs, Ham, Some Butter Tarts and Farley. As you can tell from the multitude of title possibilities, they are not very organized.

    Anyway, as I said, formerly little sis, don’t tell Elizabeth. I don’t want her coming back to the old house to stay with us, while screaming, drooling and curling up in the fetal position in her old bed. It scared the kids the last time she did that about a year ago, and considering my son has her old bedroom; we especially want to avoid that kind of scenario. Mum’s the word, eh?

    Michael Patterson

  • At 8:56 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    jeremy, sorry abt my acting a bit wacky b4, and thanx 4 agreeing 2 watch the game @ gramps an' iris's place. mostly i was thinking that hockey cd b a gd diversion 4 gramps. no1 ever thinx 2 put on a hockey game 4 him. u'd think we weren't canadian!

    howard, is it poss that iris kept doing that cuz she really liked yr mocha choc. delites and wanted u 2 keep giving here more?

    mike, i won't say nething 2 liz, but don't 4get she reads here, so prolly she will c what u wrote.


  • At 12:25 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, woo hoo! leafs 3, capitals 2 & mats sundin scored with 29.2 seconds left. that wuz a gr8 game! i think it’s good they were playin’ who they were playin’ so it wuz ez 2c who wuz canadian & who wuz frum the st8s frum their uniformz. wen the capitols got a goal, ur grandpa did that 2-fingered salute thing @the screen. i kinda got the idea wut he wuz sayin’ w/evn no words.


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