April's Real Blog

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Iris Shd Not Pun!

When I visited Jim and Iris, I brot my guitar so I cd play 4 Gramps. Rite B4 I started 2 play, I sat on the ottoman in front of Grandpa's chair and sed, "I'm not doing so much classical now, Gramps. Mr. Bergan's teaching me sum jazz!" I was just starting 2 get in2 this one piece when I noticed that Gramps was sleeping, snoring a big ol "SNOZZZZZ..." I stopped playing and sat on one of those kitchen stools by the island-counter, and Iris told me, "It's not the music, April. ...He just sleeps a lot these days. And then, he's awake @ nite. It's as if his whole clock was turned around. ...It's hard 2 know what makes him tick!"

Argh. I told her, "I know U think my whole fam likes puns, but they make my feet itch!" Iris sed, "Sorry, dear, I did think the wordplay wd comfort U." And I sed, "I figured that's what U were going 4, and it was nice of U 2 try. I wonder if I shd have played sumthing he knows. I read that there are aphasiacs who, even tho they can't talk, can still sing old, familiar songs. MayB I'll try that another time when he's awake again." And Iris sed, "That sounds luvly."


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  • At 9:35 AM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    That's a good idea, kiddo. As she said, this isn't a reflection on you. And, hey, at least with you, she can admit when she's wrong. It seems to me that she feels comfortable talking to you because you're less likely to pitch a fit if something goes wrong.

  • At 12:44 PM, Blogger howard said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 12:45 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. So, Grandpa Jim tried the old “I’m asleep” trick on you, eh? When I went over to his apartment to read him excerpts from my novel Stone Season, he tried the same trick with me several times. Iris kept on telling me “It’s not the book, Mike. He sleeps a lot these days” as if I would ever think that. I did discover that if you poke Grandpa Jim enough times after he falls sleep, he will eventually wake up to listen to you read. You should try that the next Grandpa Jim falls asleep on your playing. However, if you do, make sure not standing too close to his mouth. Grandpa Jim can spit quite a distance.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 4:34 PM, Anonymous Must Love Dogs said…

    Pun aside, this was one of the sweetest FOOB strips I've seen in ages. I don't get the April hate. She played a new song and Granpa slept with a smile. Even Iris seems like she's not really speaking for Jim; rather she's trying to comfort April and maybe herself. They're the only family that loves Jim, and much as they miss being able to really talk to him, they still remember that he exists. More than I can say for J/Elly 90% of the time.

  • At 5:56 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    dc2, i think u r rite abt iris. she told me i don't make her feel like she hasta try 2 b perfect all the time, and i told her i know what she means.

    mike, i figure if gramps falls asleep, he prolly needs 2 sleep and i can alwayz play again sum other time that works better 4 him.

    thanx 4 the nice words, must love dogs. yeah, i dunno y i get all kinds of flak from sum peeps. i just, like, try 2 get thru my day and do what i can, u know?


  • At 7:04 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. You may think that you can always play again some other time that works better for him; but there is no other time. I have been over to read Grandpa Jim my book Stone Season several times now, and I can’t tell you how many times I have heard Iris say, “Oh, Michael. You won’t believe it, but Jim just fell asleep before you got here. Perhaps you should come back some other time.” No matter what time of the day I got there, it was the same thing. One time I came for a visit and Grandpa Jim had a big plate full of freshly-baked cookies in front of him, and he was chewing one that was in his mouth. He took one look at me, and promptly fell asleep, even while he was chewing.

    If I waited until Grandpa Jim was ready for me, he would never have heard my book, and I think I can safely say that it is a book no one should miss. No, April, poking is the best way to make sure he is listening. I have learned that if you poke him long enough, he will eventually wake up. That’s my advice for you, the next time Grandpa Jim passes out while you are playing for him.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 8:20 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    lol, mike, have u not considered that sumthing abt u puts gramps 2 sleep?


  • At 11:53 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. Me? Put Grandpa Jim to sleep? April, you are the pot calling the kettle some colour that is the same colour as the kettle. Obsidian? In any case, when you stop putting Grandpa Jim to sleep with your music, then I will consider the possibility. Until, I simply consider Grandpa Jim to be too old to deal consciously with the modern arts like your guitar jazz music and my book.

    Michael Patterson


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