April's Real Blog

Sunday, January 27, 2008

The Handydad Special

Dad was sitting on his recliner looking kinda like a Zombie from sum movie called Invasion of the Train Zombies. I asked Mom, "What's w/Dad?" And Mom sed, "I dunno...All I did was ask him 2 fix the sliding door." Then Dad sed, "The horror. The horrorrrrrrr......"

A while after that he shared his story, which was that Merrie showed up w/sum brokedown dollhouse Dee had picked up @ a garge sale, telling Merrie that she'd gotten a gr8 price cuz it's a "fixer-upper." Then she started asking him 2 make repairs, like 2 the stairs, which were wiggly, and the banister, which was loose. There was a window that needed its glass replaced (I hope it wasn't real glass--that soundz dangerous). Then she wanted him 2 fix a dresser that was broken and needed its knobs replaced. Then a big part of the roof needed 2 B reshingled. After Dad did all those repairs, he and Merrie went in2 a dark-purple silhouette. Dee and Mike arrived in a kind of burnt-sienna silhouette, and as they transported the dollhouse 2 their car, Merrie was all, "Guess what! He even made a new top 4 the fireplace." So, apparently Dad's descent in2 a near-catatonic state was from Mom asking him 2 do a repair on our real house (the TTH) rite after he had dun a full set of repairs on Merrie's falling-apart dollhouse.

Apes

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5 Comments:

  • At 1:48 PM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    Deeply weird, kiddo. Quick question: did your mother know what was going on at the time or was she off shaving sheets while Merrie was there?

     
  • At 1:58 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    i don't think mom had a clue. i dunno what she was doing, tho. i try 2 avoid asking.

    apes

     
  • At 5:44 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…

    April,

    Formerly little sis. Tell mom, we got her message about dad, and his near catatonia. We promise to work on our daughter so it won’t happen again. I know we brought over the dollhouse we bought from Lovey Salzman (the broken down dollhouse Lovey sold us that her family brought from the old country and symbolizes her family’s long struggle with home ownership and being new to the country), thinking it would be easy to repair, but we never in our wildest dreams thought that our daughter would be so terrible about it. I can’t imagine what got into her. She has been trained as a Patterson and she certainly knows better. I cannot tell you how embarrassed I was when mom called up and left a message saying, “Michael. Your daughter has left John in near catatonia. You know what she did? She said, ‘Please’ and she was polite.” Tell mom not to worry, that we will have our daughter back to a standard of behaviour befitting a Patterson child. She’s out playing with her Super-Teddy right now and she’s not allowed to stop until she’s broken a few things and not apologized for them. Tell mom not to worry.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     
  • At 5:50 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, ok. i fixed the slidin’ glass door w/a little wd-40. can we get outa ur house b4 ur mom finds sumthin’ else 4 me 2 fix? & yes, i will look @the sound system in ur car 2c wut’s makin’ that buzzin’ noise. no prob. then we can go look 4 ur dad. he's prolly @the train store, like usual.

     
  • At 7:37 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    good thing jeremy and i got out quickly cuz mom was starting 2 eye the garage door appraisingly. yeah, we found dad @ the train store, just like jeremy thot. he was buying more of his lil train peeps. one of the lil train peeps he bought was a granddaughter who didn't ask 4 ne repairs. the other was a wife who also didn't request ne repairs. hm.

    mike, pls don't punish away merrie's good manners! it's a wonder she's got 'em. they shd b encouraged!

    apes

     

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