April's Real Blog

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Scents and Foobibility

There goes my Dad and his f00by puns again. The worst part is when he stands there with this look on his face, like he's waitin' for ya to bust a gut, or at least for the laugh track to kick in. Dad, just, ew.

But enough about Dad, let's talk about me! I mean, this is still my grad day, though for some reason this day jus' seems to be draggin' on forever. Some peeps were sayin' my dress was a bit skimpy for a grade 8 grad. But you shoulda seen the outfit Mom wouldn't let me buy:

What a foob she is!

April out


  • At 9:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Actually, I'm astonished. I'd have thought that your immodest dress would have been fodder for the next 30 days at least! That would have been the perfect story line: Elly decrees that April can show off legs OR tits, not both. And of course society is to blame.

  • At 2:19 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    Ooh, April's parents are way lame. The outfit I'm wearing to grad looks like this:

    Gold lame halter top dress with neckline that plunges to my navel. The skirt just barely covers my crotch. Black patent leather "fuck me" boots complete the outfit.

    Gotta go cuz my sis is gonna do my makeup an' she says it's gonna take awhile to slather on all that eye makeup.

    Apes, doesn't your mom know that the point of grad is to get laid at the after-party? Grad is the new prom.


    P.S.--I keep hearing how I am a spoiled only child from Ape's dumb parents. I am so not. I have a older stepsis. Dad knocked up his high school girlfriend an' they gave Sis up for adoption but she came back an' found us a couple years ago an' now we are way tight. So there.

  • At 4:19 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    Becks, you're gonna look so Paris Hilton, and I'm gonna look Amish!

    Hey, I've tried to tell the 'rents about your sis. But they've got their "spoiled only" story an' they're stickin' with it.

  • At 4:27 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    Oops, I forgot my links! I'm such a foob sometimes. That was supposta be:

    Paris Hilton


  • At 5:26 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    u r not gonna look like those ugly Amishes but u r gonna have a harder time getting a hottie 2 make out with u at the dance. Purple iz your color tho. Just don't settle 4 Gerald cuz you are hotter than that but maybe not hot enuff to get someone as kewl as Jeffo.

    Hey, is those Amishes'es daughter in R class or something? I don't remember seeing their family around Milborough B4 an' I don't recognize her. I think maybe she is Grade 9 or something cuz she has huge boobs in that pic. Like, how big our boobs were when we used those falsies. An' saggy.

    LYLAS, Becks

  • At 5:29 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    P.S.--yur 'rents R way dum.

    P.P.S.--I wish i could look like Paris Hilton but I'm way too fat. That's why I haven't eaten since Tuesday so I can look hott in my dress.

    luv Becks

  • At 5:59 PM, Anonymous Jesse Mukwa said…

    April, tell your sis I wuv her.


  • At 6:08 PM, Anonymous Auntie Marg said…

    Jesse, get your ass off the computer and go mow the lawn like I told you to.

    And April, tell your 7 year old boy-loving sister to stop being inappropriate with my nephew.

  • At 6:20 PM, Anonymous Jeffo Bray said…

    Becky? McGuire? Do I know you? Oh, right, I "ran into" you over Christmas. Now, go sit an' down like a good girl.

  • At 7:45 PM, Anonymous kortney said…

    du i no u jeffo? ur last mane sound liek familiar or suh'in,

  • At 8:44 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    Jeffo, don't pretend like u don't know who I M. U said u loved me, but after we went roadside, u never called me back. Now I no u were just using me for sex. I hope u get a STD an' your weiner turns green an' falls off. Not that it would matter cuz it's already way small.


  • At 1:32 PM, Anonymous gerald said…

    OMG! becky! u have a sister? is she hot? i'm shocked! ape's mom keeps telling me u are "a spoiled only child" (her words exactly--i swear).

  • At 1:38 PM, Anonymous Duncan said…

    Maybe Becky's schizto--like the dude on psycho. She thinks she has a real sister, but she's really just talking to herself.

  • At 3:24 PM, Anonymous Michael Ppattersonn said…

    Hi its mike patterson here im shure glad that i found this blog now i can be cool and i can ckech up on my little sister april you shouldnt worry so much abut what you wear. you so dont want to go roadside like youre freind becky mcguire in fact that should be what my next column is about ill call it 'my sister and her freind who wnet roadside and wound up in the ditch'. it can be an featuers piece in the clarion or myabe the vanity fair will be intersted either way itll talk about how going roadside is bad and how poeple shouldnt have sex because sex is bad unless youre doing it (heehee i said doing it) to have children. at least thats what dee and my mom say at least and they shoud noe because their women and even the idea of sex gives women headaches. keep loose april

    Michael Patterson

    ps serioulsy if your reading this graydon carter please call me with an offre for the seinor editor job at vanity fair im still at my moms but its okay to call me their

    Michael Pattreson

  • At 4:31 PM, Anonymous graydon carter said…

    Michael Patterson:

    Please stop the e-mails, phone calls, faxes, letters, singing telegrams, and skywriting immediately. If you continue, expect a "cease and desist" letter from my attorney.

    Graydon Carter

    P.S. I included the link above, from Dictionary.com, since you seem to be functionally illiterate


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