April's Real Blog

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Super Teddy/Stupor Mike

Mike kinda got back 2 the present tense 2 tell abt Merrie's reaction 2 Mike's "Super Teddy" story:

Formerly little sis. After showing my daughter the video I rented of the Superman movie, she finally understood Super Teddy. She looked at the pictures of me and Super Teddy in the photo album and she said, “You had a SUPER TEDDY?” I think perhaps she thought I had a teddy bear that was an official toy from the Superman movie, which might be an expensive collectors item now. Considering all the pictures in the photo album showed Super Teddy flying, she might have thought he could really fly like Superman. So I explained it to her, “Well, not a real Super Teddy. He was just a Teddy Bear with a napkin tied around his neck.” It turned out my daughter had been setting me up, because almost out of nowhere she pulled out a teddy bear with a napkin tied around his neck.

She said, “Like this?” I responded, “Exactly!” However, it wasn’t exactly the same. My Super Teddy was a larger teddy bear which had a greater striking force when hurled, and also had longer ears and face not unlike a dog. My daughter’s teddy had short ears and looked much more like the traditional teddy bear, as if someone, let’s say, was an inexperienced artist and had no idea what a teddy bear looked like, versus a more experienced artist who had a little plastic figurine of a teddy bear they could copy.

I was on the verge of saying, “And I’d toss him through the air yelling…It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s Super Teddy!” as you may remember me saying just yesterday when I was describing the picture in the photo album. However, at this point, I got a phone call saying the “It’s a bird. It’s a plane.” stuff is copyrighted, and I needed to come up with a different catch phrase. So instead, I said,
“And I’d toss him through the air yelling…Hiiyaaaaa Kowabunga Super Teddyyy!!”

Then my daughter said, “Hi-yaahhh Kowabunga Super Teddyyy!” and she swung her arm in an arc that mysteriously caused her teddy to go from behind her head to straight ahead from her. It was quite amazing. I was about comment about how she needed to say, “Hiiyaaaaa” instead of “Hi-yaahhh”, unless of course she was separating “Hiiyaaaaa” across two lines and needed the hyphen, when there was a silent crashing noise from the other room.

My daughter and I went to see what made the silent crashing noise, and it turned out that my daughter’s teddy had landed on my lovely Deanna’s new giant-sized indoor plant. The plant lost a few leaves and looked relatively uninjured, so when it comes right down to it, it was a fairly unsuccessful Super Teddy kind of landing. More astounding than the plant damage was my lovely wife Deanna who said, “Is this what you call a good example?” My daughter and I were both distracted by Deanna’s misshapen right hand with only two very long fingers, aside from her thumb, which is technically not a finger. Normally I would come up with a witty comeback to a question like that from my wife, but those two fingers were freaking me out and all I could think was, “No…but I’d call it a great toss!” And it was a great toss, even though it was not a good example of how much damage and destruction a true Super Teddy can cause.

I'm sure that given enough time, my daughter will achieve Super Teddy greatness. I think I need to lock up all my breakables now.

Michael Patterson
Mike, don't B 2 surprised if U get a fone call from the ppl behind Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and/or the ppl behind The Simpsons--asking U 2 cease an' desist using "kowabunga."

Howard, I got yr message abt the "babysitting emergency" that U and Bea have 2nite. I will B there @ 6 2nite.


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  • At 12:56 PM, Blogger howard said…


    Beatrice and I greatly appreciate you being able to step in to baby-sit our daughters, María and Ana at the last minute. Our Argentinian folk dancing competition got moved to tonight unexpectedly, and we are so glad you were able to accommodate us.

    By the way, I actually appreciated your brother’s message today. It certainly explained all the broken windows on your old house on Sharon Park Drive where he lives now.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 1:12 PM, Anonymous Chief Thunderthud said…

    Kawabonga, peanuts!

    It is spelled “Kawabonga”. It is a famous saying of my tribe, the Ooragnak Tribe. Get it right next time.

  • At 1:14 PM, Anonymous Cookie Monster said…

    Kowabunga too a word. It esoteric, but it poetic in its own right.

    Cookie Monster

  • At 1:22 PM, Anonymous Charlie Brown said…


    My dog Snoopy spells it “Cowabunga” when he puts on his swimming suit and goes surfing. He says it means, “Surfs Up!” My dog also says he appreciates the homage from your family.

    Charlie Brown

  • At 1:31 PM, Anonymous leonardo said…

    Yo April,

    We go by TMNT these days. Raph, Don, Mike and I are hot, ever since our movie came out. I think your brother may owe us kind of royalty for the word, dude. I have to check with our guys in the suits.


  • At 1:35 PM, Anonymous Bart Simpson said…

    Eat my shorts, Leo. Cowabunga is ours. My family’s movie made way more money than yours, and our people are talking sequel. If anyone owes anyone royalties, you turtles owe us. Don’t have a cow, man. We won’t charge you much.

    Bart Simpson

  • At 2:09 PM, Anonymous jughead jones said…

    Hey, I was saying it back in the sixties when me and the gang went to the Riverdale beach! You owe us money.

    I will, however, except payment in burgers.

  • At 2:20 PM, Anonymous Luann D. said…

    Huh. I was right.

  • At 3:02 PM, Anonymous liz patterson said…


    I read your post of yesterday and just wanted to let you know that you have the story about Farley and the Oklahoma City bombing all wrong, see, Farley was an excellent rescue dog and probably could have saved all the people that day in Oklahoma, but Mike says April murdered him before he could get the chance, which isn't quite how I remember it, I mean, Farley had no police dog training, but Mike seems to be in charge this week so I'm going with it, I have enough to worry about what with these crazy applications for baby boarding schools and trying to find out certain information about a certain child so I can get her pre-enrolled before our wedding.


  • At 7:24 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    mike, looks as tho there r lotsa peeps (and sum animals) lining up 2 sue u. watch out.

    and OMG! i did NOT 'murder' farley. i thot i got mike and liz both 2 admit this. liz, U WERE THERE! u were the LAST person 2 b w/farley when he was alive. if u're not gonna stick up 4 me, mayb it's cuz U MURDERED HIM! gah!

    i m writing this from howard and bea's house. no prob abt the babysitting. the girls r being so good, as always!


  • At 2:13 AM, Anonymous Michael Patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. After my lovely Deanna realized Super Teddy had not done permanent damage to her indoor plant, she did something which she has not done in many years, i.e. displayed a sense of curiosity. Deanna has had her moments of being curious in the past, but since she has had children it is like they sucked all the curious bones in her body out with their vigorous breast-feeding. Deanna informs me that bones are not actually the source of breast milk, so I had to discard that theory.

    Regardless of the reason for the curiosity, I was delighted and surprised that my lovely Deanna asked me the question, “What have you two been up to?” I put my hands in my pockets and sheepishly followed my daughter into the kitchen where she showed her the photo albums. I said, “We were going through my mom’s photo albums.” Naturally, this is not truly an explanation for why my daughter produced a duplicate of my Super Teddy and felt the need to throw him into Deanna’s indoor plant; but curiosity occurs so infrequently with my wife, I thought it was best not to discourage it with mundane things like a logical progression of thought.

    I sat down and put my daughter in my lap so she could see the photo album better, as Deanna pulled it over to the other side of the table. I said, “Merrie was asking about Grampa Jim. She didn’t recognize him.” I know I had tried to avoid embarrassing my daughter with that fact before, but I felt Deanna needed to know, since she is the mother. Deanna said, “He looks so young in this picture…and so does Marian.” It did occur to me that perhaps I need to give my lovely Deanna a little lecture on the progression of time, so she would know that in every picture where Grampa Jim looks young, everyone else in the picture will look younger too. The understanding of how time works is something most people may take for granted, but when you are a Patterson, it can sometimes be a very tricky thing. All I have to do is think about how you looked just before your 16th birthday and how you looked on your 16th birthday, to illustrate my point about unusual Pattersonian time passage. Once again, I opted not to pursuit this line of thought with my wife. I thought it would be good to keep that curiosity thing going.

    Well, Deanna turned into a silhouette, so her lights were essentially out, and I decided to talk to my non-silhouetted daughter instead. I said, “I’m sorry you never got to meet your great-grandmother, Meredith.” After I said that, I realized it was a little awkward to say. After all, Gramma Marian died in 1991, and in 1991 I was only 15 years old, and it would have been strange to have a daughter when I was still in senior secondary school, just so I could introduce her to Gramma Marian. Fortunately for me, my daughter saved the day by making a joke out of the word “great.” She said, “What made her great, daddy?” At least I think she was making a joke. We do call Grampa Jim “Grampa Jim” around her, and not “great grandfather Jim”, so she might not understand how the word “great” fits in. However, I prefer to think she was making a joke, since it gave me a fine opportunity to look wide-eyed into the open air and say, “Everything.”

    I think you would agree, formerly little sis, that “everything” made Gramma Marian great. For example, her extraordinary Tupperware collection. It’s not everyone who saves every single piece of Tupperware they ever bought in their entire life. That makes someone “great,” don’t you agree? You know this to be true, because you met Gramma Marian. However, my daughter never did, so I decided to start showing my daughter some Gramma Marian pictures and I will probably tell you about them tomorrow and I expect I will be using the word “great” as often as I possibly can, in order to carry on my new theme for photos “Marian put the ‘great’ in great gramma.”

    Michael Patterson


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