Lovey moves and Mike an' Weed watch

Mike an' Weed went 2 Lovey (cuz it's what they do), an' Mike wrote this:

April,

Little sis. Some days everything is bright and clear. Other days, the visibility is so poor that when you look at buildings or people, all you see is a vague outline and no discernible features. But then you will have something right beside the vagueness which is so clear and distinct it makes you wonder why you can’t see the things standing right next to it. I think I may need to get glasses. I thought about getting glasses a long time ago, but mom talked Elizabeth into getting them instead.

After our coffee together in his studio, Josef mentioned that even though he has not yet purchased the old apartments on Devon Road from Lovey Saltzman, she and her husband Morrie were moving out, even as we spoke, and he suggested we should go and visit and watch the moving men strain and flex their muscles against the weight of Lovey’s enormous collection of broken antiques. That sounded like a good activity to me. We got to the old house and there in front of the house was a clear and distinct moving truck with the word “Moving” on the side, with a box which apparently had been dropped on the ramp to the truck, to effectively block the way of anyone trying to move things to the truck. I whispered to Weed, “Least expensive movers in Toronto, I suppose.” Weed said, “Lovey wouldn’t have it any other way.” But when we tried to get a look at the movers, I noticed the house and the movers and even myself were hazy and indistinct. I said to myself, “It kind of defeats the purpose of coming her, if all I can see is the outline of the movers.” Then an outline approached me which could be none other than Lovey Saltzman herself, and sure enough she greeted us, me first of course, “Michael! Josef! So good to see you!!”

Then Lovey began one of those conversations in her usual style where she says a lot of things without asking or expecting a response, as if she were carrying on both parts of the conversation. She said, “Morrie and I are moving to a condominium. We should have done it years ago.---Jo told you he’s buying this place? It’s a good thing. I gave him a good price. He’ll make it nice again.” I went through what she said in my head, and the only thing I learned new over my conversation with Josef was Lovey and Morrie Saltzman were moving to a condominium and she wished she had done it before. The message was clear to me. She should have sold the apartments before the Kelpfroths moved in and burned the place, so she could get a better price for it.

Then we turned as one and looked at the old house, or rather we looked at the outline where the house was supposed to be, and Weed surprised me by saying, “We’re gonna gut all 4 apartments, put in new wiring, new plumbing---really do a job on ‘er!” I tried to think if Josef had ever dropped an “h” at the beginning of a word before. I couldn’t remember it ever happening. Was my old university roommate turning into a Cockney?

While I was thinking about Josef Weeder playing the part of Alfred P. Doolittle in a production of My Fair Lady singing “I’m Getting Married in the Morning”, everything went black around me. I could Weed clearly and Lovey clearly, but as for myself, I felt as though I had turned into a giant shadow towering over Josef. Then Josef said, “It’s a big investment, but eventually the tenants will pay it off.” “Big investment”, I thought. Was Josef referring to my sudden increase in height? No, my special punning sense revealed the humour was going to come from Lovey Saltzman. She said, “That’s true. You’re young. You’ll live long enough.” Weed looked puzzled, I think perhaps because Lovey could have said more effectively, “That’s true. You’re young enough to see it paid off before you die.” I thought about my especially humourous edited version of what Lovey said and I could not but help to laugh with a sticky-out tongue, even though I was still shrouded in darkness.

What do you think, little sis. Is my vision going, or do you experience hazy vagueness or blackness in your life?

Love,
Michael Patterson

Yeah, Mike sumtymez I have the blackness, tho mayB not "hazy vagueness." Oh, an' I vaguely remember that when Gordon took over Daly's Garage, and U went 2 C him, when U came back U sed that Gordo kept referring to the place as 'er just like U R saying Weed did abt Lovey's bldgs.

Dunc, OMG, sorry, I didn't C yr message until this morning. Pls don't run away fr. Mboro!

Apes