"Great idea" 2 Mike = "obvious" 2 every1 else

Well, Mike tells what happed when Dee came back, w/out telling us where she was, how l8 she got back, or whether they ever got 2 eat dinner:

April,

Formerly little sis. Did you ever have one of those moments when a really great idea pops into your head? Well, I did recently and it was quite an arresting experience. I could swear it affected me so much, even physically, that my eyes seemed to be moving around my head of their own free will. That is how powerful my great idea was.

I remember the moment well. My wife, the lovely Deanna, had come home and she was tying her bathrobe tightly around her body, which was supposed to send me the signal that nothing was going to be loosened up for me that night. I was putting toothpaste on my toothbrush, and standing in front of this ornate mirror that Deanna had gotten from her friend Sennough White. Then my great idea just jumped into my head and I said, “I think it’s time that Robin moved into his own room.” My wife said, “I agree.” This is something she normally says when I have a great idea.

Sometimes, there is just no denying an idea’s greatness, so Deanna added “He’s used to this house now. He should be able to sleep alone.” The idea affected me so much, I can just see myself now with toothpaste all over my face and looking as if I were a rapid dog needing to be put down. I said, “Beshides…Meredith likesh to tease him, and it drivesh me crazy.” As you can tell from my translation of my speech, having a toothbrush in my mouth caused me to say, “Sh” for all my unvoiced “S” sounds. My voiced “S” sound in the word “tease” was not affected, because as everyone knows, toothpaste in your mouth while you are brushing only affects unvoiced “S” sounds.

You may remember from back in my wife’s September, 2007 monthly letter, she was talking about studying Daoism. Well I could tell the effect of that study from the words my wife uses. She said, “It’s karma, Mike—you teased you sister, didn’t you?” I can you that there is nothing worse than when Deanna goes into her “Buddha is the best” routine, so I had no desire to point out that karma is actually the effects of all your deeds actively creating past, present and future experiences; and not retribution for teasing a sister. I quickly diverted the subject by actually taking blame. I responded, “Yeah, but she deserved it.” Deanna, at first didn’t seem to notice I had taken blame, and she continued on squeezing water out of her makeup-removing piece of material. She said, “Why?”

I responded with another confession, “She was cuter than I was.” That was true back when Elizabeth was young and before her breath got to be so lizardly. These days, though, I would put me way ahead of poor, unmarried, childless Liz. Nevertheless, my second confession got to Deanna. Her body stiffened like a board, and her eyebrows rose up under her hairline. I probably would have seen more, but my eyes were still being affected by my great idea. I suppose you are wondering if this meant my lovely Deanna started down the road to reminiscing about things occurring in 1979. I will tell you next week, if she did.

“Robin should move into his own room.” I tell you little sis, when I come up with a great idea it’s a great one. As often as you come to baby-sit for us, I’m surprised you never thought of this yourself.

Love,
Michael Patterson

OMG, Mike, didn't U even read yesterday's entry, where I sed the kids shd have their own rooms? And if U ever LISTENED 2 me (instead of 2 the private show U have running in yr head @ all times), U'd KNOW that every single time I've babysat, I've mentioned that they need their own rooms. Gah!

Also, it hits me as sad that even tho U "take blame" 4 teasing Liz, U actually--ALL THESE YEARS LATER WHEN U'RE SUPPOSED 2 B AN ADULT--say that Liz "deserved" 2 B teased? What? That's disgusting. This is a time 4 U 2 admit that NO1 deserves that and U were just being awful 4 no legitimate reason. OMG.

And please, please, please do NOT B setting us up 4 yet another FLASHBACK. Flashbacks = terrible, terrible karma, I M sure!

Apes