Dee Breaks It Up

Here's the next bit of e-mail fr. Dee:

Well, 'April', with all the shouting going on downstairs that 'night', little Merrie called for me, and when I went into the kids' room, she asked me, "Mom? Why is Grandma shouting?" And I told her, "She's just mad at the man downstairs, honey. Your Dad and your Grandpa are trying to make it all better." Then, 'Merrie' said, "I don't like it when there's fighting. It makes me scared." My precocious three-year old, talking with the speech patterns of a ten-year-old, once 'again'! But, 'April', there was no 'time' to stand around being 'proud' about that. I felt my eyelids go heavy, and I was pretty sure I looked sort of bored, but in 'fact', I was quite 'angry' and feeling like a Mama 'bear'. I told Meredith, "I'll be right back." Then I picked up 'Mom' and 'Dad's' coats and went downstairs, saying, "Mom, put your coat on. Dad, take her home! Good night!" They left, and Michael turned to me and said, "Deanna, you broke up that argument in 2 seconds! You are amazing!" I told him, "When my kids get scared...I get STRONG!" I hope you're reading this, Josef Myron 'Child-Scarer' Weeder! Well, I was glad I got my parents to go home and ended the shouting, but it's a 'shame' our 'neighbour' problem is still as unresolved as 'ever'.

Well, that's all I have time for right now, 'April'.

Be 'well',

'Dee'

So, that's all I know about this for the mo, peeps.

BTW, this just appeared in this week's Milborough Shopper:

John Patterson, Dentist, Renaissance Man!

by Michael Patterson

Those of you who know my father, the esteemed Dr. John Patterson, D.D.S., are probably aware of his prowess in the fields of dentistry and model-train layouts. But you might not know that he's a veritable genius! Yes, John Patterson is not the sort who is satisfied with things the way they are. Oh, no, he spends hours, perhaps days, if given a chance, in his workshop, dreaming up and implementing improvements on everyday devices. Take his treadmill for instance.

Dad has a beautiful, state-of-the-art, Dreckler6000 turbo-charged treadmill will built-in iPod and headphones. But was he satisfied with the standard-issue ear buds that came with the product? No, of course not, my friends! My father, ever the audiophile, decided he wanted to optimize the acoustics. And so, he came of with an ingenious plan. He replaced the ear buds with a pair of otoscopes that he acquired from the office of Dr. Maurice Eckler, Ear-Nose-Throat specialist. Thanks, Dr. Eckler! Dad said this improved his musical-listening experience tenfold. Until his unfortunate accident, that is!

Yes, gentle readers, unfortunate accident. This past Sunday, January 15, my father was exercising on his treadmill, listening to his favourite Bobby Curtola music, when his shoelace maliciously untied itself! And when Dad stopped the treadmill, his customized ear buds popped out, making an eardrum-jolting "ka-POW" noise!!! My mother immediately called Dr. Eckler, who for some reason did not see this as a major medical emergency or new, astounding sports injury. I guess not everyone can be a visionary, eh?

Well, my parents will not take this lying down! With the help of the prestigious lawfirm of Cheatham, Robbem, & Steel Associates, my parents are in the process of suing the Dreckler company, the Acme Otoscope Manufacturers, and Shoelaces Unlimited. Wish them luck!

By the way, this is what an otoscope looks like:

Yup, it's that thing your doctor uses 2 look inside yr earz!

Becks, Howard, wow, what a nite U had. I guess yr mom knew pretty much all along abt the disguise, eh, but thot it was kinda amusing? NEway, I'm v. worried abt U since that certain sum1 I won't mention is involved. Pls lemme know if I can help sumhow, eh?

Apes