What's Dee gonna do about her MOTHER?

L8est Dee-mail, peeps:

'April':

Would you believe that your brother actually went to 'bed' while I was still 'awake' on the night my parents had visited? He hardly 'ever' does that, what with his constant 'writing'.

So, he was lying on his 'side' of the bed, and I was getting into my 'side', and I asked, "What am I going to do about my mother, Michael? She was always hot-tempered, controlling and opinionated.... But for her to run downstairs and fight with the neighbours like that, was completely out of character." And Mike responded, "It was? What does your dad say? Has he noticed a change in her behaviour?" I told 'him', "I don't know. Ever since he got his hearing aid...He sort of tunes her out." Your brother sort of raised his 'eyebrows' and looked 'stupid' at that point. So, next thing you know. . . .

'Merrie'! We do not teach our little 'brother' to play with 'knives'! I have to go, 'April'!

'Dee'

OK, w8 a flippin' minute here. After all that shizzle that happed that nite, Dee was wondering what 2 do abt her mother? When her mother was the only 1 w/enuf spine 2 actually B, like, direct w/the neighbours? Not that being all pushy & fighty is the best way, but Mike an' Dee just sit around & complain abt them 2 other peeps, like Lovey or the ppl who read the monthly letterz. Or tape off part of the foyer. And try 2 teach the kiddles 2 whisper & tiptoe so as 2 avoid conflict, so they can then B xtra "poor us". And then there R all the issues abt how Mike spends as much time as he can in his attic, so he can avoid "the complexities of relationships". But, yeah, the big point of the evening is that Mira is out of control. ::snort:: Silly me, I thot this was all heading 2 a Michael smackdown.

Well, Howard asked a really gd question in a post he left last nite:

Is there any chance your parents would respond to a reasonable conversation? For example, you sit with them and discuss how you would prefer to finish your high school education at R.P. Boire and not Barbados. Is such a thing possible? I am kind of curious, because you have been telling us every day how your brother and sister-in-law deal with their problems with my aunt and uncle, and so I was not sure if speaking directly about problems is allowed in your house.

OK, here's the thing. My fam is v. v. bad abt just dealing w/stuff directly. My bro's way of 'handling' your auntie & unk is v. v. Patterson, I h8 2 say. I totally don't wanna B like that. But: the only way I cd have a convo like that w/my 'rents is 2 let on that I know abt their Barbados plan, which I def. don't think they want me 2 know abt & they have no clue that I do. MayB it wdn't xactly B a gd idea 2 let on?

Becks, I am v. sorry 2 hear abt yr Great-Gramma Eulalie dying. Cd U give me an addy 2 send flowerz?

That story U told abt the pilot? Wow. Terrible! & U R rite, that does sound an awful lot like Warren. I wonder if we can find out whether it's him or, like, the most giant coincidence ever, w/a diff pilot.

Oh, the story abt Sophia, the model, that I told Howard & Becks. U mite remember that Mike once wrote a profile of Weed for Portrait. In the article, Mike made a big dealio abt the way Weed uses lighting an' angles 2 C thingz in a totally unique way. & after that, Weed felt, like, pressured 2 do sum stuff that was really "out there". So he came up w/this idea of using really bizarre lighting & angles to make ppl & thingz look totally distorty & diff fr. how they usual look. Unfortunately 4 Sophia, she was one of the "ppl" he chose. Now, U mite think that a model like Sophia is so pretty that she can't take a bad pic. But believe me, if the photog really works hard @ making the lighting & angles unflattering, he can make the most gorg. person look uggo.

So, like, during one of her normal modeling sessions w/Weed, Weed took a buncha "special" shots of Sophia, with B/W film so he could really work the contrast, giving the poor girl's face deep shadows where U don't want 'em, & shooting fr. angles that were just all wrong. & the really effed up part is she didn't even know he was doing these "special" pix. She just thot it was a normal shoot. & she signed a model release 4 all his fotoz.

So, Weed ended up having a special show in a small gallery near Gordo's garage-an'-grill complex. The show was "Looking at the World in New Ways". This show prolly wda come & gone w/almost no effect on NEbody, xcept 4 1 thing. Carleen was in charge of the guest list 4 the opening nite. & she, "oops", included the most prominent modeling agents in the greater Toronto area & a couple from NYC, Paris, & Milan. & it just happed that there was a big fashion doo-hicky going on in TO when the opening was happening, & a buncha these hotshotz got bored & took a car out 2 Mboro 2 C the special show. Next thing U know they're C-ing theze uggo pix of Sophia, & they're all gossing 2 ea other that a model who can take such bad, bad pix cd B poison 2 NE ad campaign or fashion show. So after that, all her jobz dried up & her contracts were pulled. U kinda know the rest.

Apes