July Letters!
I'm kinda tired, so this isn't gonna B v. detailed. Here goez not much--
My letter: Not much 2 add on here, 'cept that I only just remembered the part abt going 2 Manitoba in August. Still had a partial mental block on my summer planz. Thanx 4 offering 2 help paint my rm, Dunc! And Liz, thanx 4 taking me 2 Ikea this wkend.
Lizzie's letter: Well, I'm not sure where Liz's new apt is or how many ppl she'z sharing w/. I guess we'll find out B4 2 long. She soundz kinda like she'z regretting the decisionz she's made abt leaving Mtig an' not renewing her contract. But I'll leave it 2 Liz 2 xxplain what she'z feeling if/when she wants 2.
Mom's letter: Augh, I h8, h8, h8, how my mom likes 2 start out her letter like she'z the host of our letterwriting an' she like assumez every1 readz her letter 1st. I totally know ppl who go 2 mind 1st, sum who go 2 Liz's 1st, and so on. Sum guy in Saskatchewan reportedly reads Grandpa's letter first, LOL!
School uni shopping. ZZZZZZZZZ! The photo editing: Yeah, Mom sez I taut her how 2 do that, but what happs is she spends abt 30 secs trying 2 edit her fotoz B4 she'z all "AUGH!" and calling in April-tech support.
Dad's letter: "Many are driving fun sporty or luxury cars, and almost all have had their kids move out by now, so they can concentrate on themselves more." Is it just me, or does it sound like Dad is jellus and wishes I were moved out so he cd drive a sporty or luxury car and concentr8 on himself more than he already does?
"It did inspire Elly and I"? OMG, Dad, it's "It did inspire Elly and me", not "Elly and I". Wd U say "it inspired I"? That's the test, goofo!
And OMG, Dad found yet another xxcuse 2 talk abt friggin' Bushwhackerz, even after he sold his st00pid ol' BW. And Geez, he nev "spoiled" me the way he'z planning 2 spoil his grandkiddiez. Me, he'z ready 2 move me outta the house. And speaking of that, he'z still harrassing thoze poor old folks who live in the little house w/the big lot he keeps drooling over 4 his silly "trains, trains, trains" obsession. And notice he can't seem 2 remember my name NEmore. I'm "the kid".
Mike's letter: Do I hafta read Mike's letter? Grrr, OK, I'll go read it now.
Well, that's time I'll nev get back. "Sheilagh"? LOL! I'm sure Dee just loves Mike's l8est xxcuse 2 spend xxtra time @ his office in the airconditioning while Dee swelterz @ home and takes care of every1 like she'z a working single mom 3 kidz!
Oh, and he was soooooo embarrassing @ my gig 2nite @ the mall. Cd U believe him, Ger, Dunc, Eva, an' Luis?
Dee's letter: Blahblahblah, just admit Mike's avoiding U an' the kidz an' that it suxx!!!
Gramps/Iris: Aw, I don't wanna. K, K, here goez. . . .
Oh, ew, like NE1 wants 2 think abt oldiez' stinkin' false teeth an' their st00pid toothless gumz. Just pls make it stop!!!
Pets: Sorry abt writing another lame "pets" letter. And don't get 2 xxcited abt me saying I'm getting my hair cut. U can just bet it'll look the same as alwayz, st00pid cursed hair.
Apes
My letter: Not much 2 add on here, 'cept that I only just remembered the part abt going 2 Manitoba in August. Still had a partial mental block on my summer planz. Thanx 4 offering 2 help paint my rm, Dunc! And Liz, thanx 4 taking me 2 Ikea this wkend.
Lizzie's letter: Well, I'm not sure where Liz's new apt is or how many ppl she'z sharing w/. I guess we'll find out B4 2 long. She soundz kinda like she'z regretting the decisionz she's made abt leaving Mtig an' not renewing her contract. But I'll leave it 2 Liz 2 xxplain what she'z feeling if/when she wants 2.
Mom's letter: Augh, I h8, h8, h8, how my mom likes 2 start out her letter like she'z the host of our letterwriting an' she like assumez every1 readz her letter 1st. I totally know ppl who go 2 mind 1st, sum who go 2 Liz's 1st, and so on. Sum guy in Saskatchewan reportedly reads Grandpa's letter first, LOL!
School uni shopping. ZZZZZZZZZ! The photo editing: Yeah, Mom sez I taut her how 2 do that, but what happs is she spends abt 30 secs trying 2 edit her fotoz B4 she'z all "AUGH!" and calling in April-tech support.
Dad's letter: "Many are driving fun sporty or luxury cars, and almost all have had their kids move out by now, so they can concentrate on themselves more." Is it just me, or does it sound like Dad is jellus and wishes I were moved out so he cd drive a sporty or luxury car and concentr8 on himself more than he already does?
"It did inspire Elly and I"? OMG, Dad, it's "It did inspire Elly and me", not "Elly and I". Wd U say "it inspired I"? That's the test, goofo!
And OMG, Dad found yet another xxcuse 2 talk abt friggin' Bushwhackerz, even after he sold his st00pid ol' BW. And Geez, he nev "spoiled" me the way he'z planning 2 spoil his grandkiddiez. Me, he'z ready 2 move me outta the house. And speaking of that, he'z still harrassing thoze poor old folks who live in the little house w/the big lot he keeps drooling over 4 his silly "trains, trains, trains" obsession. And notice he can't seem 2 remember my name NEmore. I'm "the kid".
Mike's letter: Do I hafta read Mike's letter? Grrr, OK, I'll go read it now.
Well, that's time I'll nev get back. "Sheilagh"? LOL! I'm sure Dee just loves Mike's l8est xxcuse 2 spend xxtra time @ his office in the airconditioning while Dee swelterz @ home and takes care of every1 like she'z a working single mom 3 kidz!
Oh, and he was soooooo embarrassing @ my gig 2nite @ the mall. Cd U believe him, Ger, Dunc, Eva, an' Luis?
Dee's letter: Blahblahblah, just admit Mike's avoiding U an' the kidz an' that it suxx!!!
Gramps/Iris: Aw, I don't wanna. K, K, here goez. . . .
Oh, ew, like NE1 wants 2 think abt oldiez' stinkin' false teeth an' their st00pid toothless gumz. Just pls make it stop!!!
Pets: Sorry abt writing another lame "pets" letter. And don't get 2 xxcited abt me saying I'm getting my hair cut. U can just bet it'll look the same as alwayz, st00pid cursed hair.
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 7:36 PM
2 Comments:
At 11:11 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
You could not be more wrong when you say that "she soundz kinda like she'z regretting the decisionz she's made abt leaving Mtig an' not renewing her contract."
First of all I do not regret it. Second of all it was not a decision, I didn't have a choice, I had to leave Mtigwaki. There was just no way to stay there. Just ask Dad. A reasonable mind will see there is no other way to think about it.
It is just hard because I am in a new place where instead of people looking in my windows, they live in my apartment with me. That's hard because I can't close the curtains to block them out when I don't want to see them or have them knowing my business. Also, Shiimsa is snitty about the move and even Viv's parting gift, Cats for Hopelessly Pathetic Idiots Who Will Never Get a Clue, is not helping me figure out her problem.
I am not worried though I am sure I will get over it pretty well because I am following Mom's advice about how to avoid depression and I'm eating and sleeping almost twice as much as normal. Also, Paul says he will come visit as often as he can.
I really have to think about getting a car, huh? Wonder why I haven't done that yet. Well I will think about it more later, I have to go eat a big snack before I go to bed. I only got a three hour nap this afternoon.
Liz
At 11:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dear April Patterson,
As you know, I am not particularly fond of you. But I read the monthly letters on your family's website today, and I wanted to let you know that their treatment of you is particularly loathsome. What sort of parent refuses to furnish his or her child's bedroom?
Even more horrifying is the fact that your parents are anything but poor. Your father purchased a luxury Crevasse and has been seen about town with large loads of garbage in it. Your father is a wealthy dentist, and your mother just sold a lucrative business. They are rolling in money. They have even been known to give entire rooms of furniture to your older brother, even after he was married and he and his wife were both gainfully employed. Yet they will not purchase low-cost furniture for you from IKEA? Or even pay for a gallon of paint?
On top of it all, given the list of items you say you are planning to buy, it is obvious that you have saved up at least $1000 dollars. Most parents would commend you for that effort and tell you to spend that money wisely, on tuition or other educational opportunity. But your tightfisted parents are requiring you to spend this money on your own basic maintenance while they purchase model trains they don't have room for and 4000 little stackable plastic organizing containers for items that were doing just fine on the shelves where they were.
I want you to know that every member of the R.P. Boire PTA feels truly, deeply sorry for you, April.
Sincerely yours, Melanie Forsythe
P.S.--Does your mother know when our intermediate writing class begins? Ask her for me, please. My email is 2thin2btrue@yahoo.com. Thank you in advance.
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