Deliver us from flashbacks!

Mike's got sum more flashbacky stuff 2 share w/all of U:

April,

Formerly little sis. This has been such a strange week of reminiscing. When the week started out, I was sure it was going to be mom and Connie Poirier thinking back to the wonderful world of 1979. But as the week progressed, and there were moments when neither mom nor Connie Poirier appeared in my memories, I realized that it was I who would be thinking back to those great old days.

One of the greatest, I think, was the time when Dad gave me one of the best lessons I ever learned about married life. I was eating a sandwich in the usual Patterson style, which you know so well, and Dad was reading the paper, his customary position in the house. Something had been going on with the kettle. I am not sure what. It occasionally made a loud whistling noise, which I associated with coffee, which I also associated with mom being in a much better mood. Growing up, usually the kettle whistle was a happy sound.

On this particular morning, it was not. Mom came into the kitchen, picked up the kettle, turned it on its end so the set of 4 reflective squares and the spout were upward, and then she said, “You can see I’m busy, John…the least you could do is un-plug the kettle!” I adored and worshipped my mom, so naturally I followed suit and said, “Yeah, dad…you sure are lazy!” I remember dad had a startled look on his face when I said that, but I wasn’t sure if it was because of my criticism, or because he noticed that the bite marks on my sandwich kept moving around.

Now there are those people who might tell me that a parent shouldn’t criticize another parent in front of the children and that those kinds of disputes should be settled when the children aren’t around. They might say that it sets up a cycle of abuse where the child feels the criticized parent is fair game. Well, to those people I say, you could learn from my Dad.

Right after I told dad he was lazy, mom turned around and with Lizzie right there to see her, she said to me, “…And, Michael, it is NOT your place to criticize your father!” The lesson there should have been obvious to me. Dad didn’t correct me, but mom did. If you notice carefully, only one person is running around criticizing people and that was mom. However, Dad did not want to take any chance that I might have missed this crucial lesson and he said to me in a whisper with his hand oddly blocking the projection of his voice to my ear, “…You’re infringing on your mother’s territory.” At that age, I didn’t know what “infringing” or “territory” meant; but years later I looked up those words, and Dad’s lesson to me that day came beaming through. I learned that it is mom’s job, right and privilege to criticize everyone around her; and that no matter how strongly we may feel about an issue, mom has the first chance to tear into someone and rip them to shreds with criticism.

Once I opened that dictionary and realized what Dad was saying, I cannot tell how many times I avoided making that same mistake again. It was a life-saver, and I can honestly say it is probably the single best advice that a married man can get.

Love,
Michael Patterson

Aw, Mike. Mom and Dad really screwed U up! Of course, they raised me, 2, which makes me think that as soon as I get 2 uni I'll sign up 4 counseling so I can find out if/how much they screwed me up. And do sum fixing.

Duncan's silhouette, last nite U asked, "Speaking of mysteries, what did Trickie Beldan mean when she said, 'You better not invite Gerald to your sister’s wedding as your date, if you know what’s good for you'? That was kind of whacked. Like you would even do that." I will def. not ask Ger 2 Liz's wedding as my d8. But Liz has a terrible habit of not listening 2 NEthing I say 2 her, and she mite go ahead and invite him as my d8 w/out my permission. Especially since she, like Mike, thinx childhood sweethearts are destiny 4 all us Patterson kids. Jeremy and I R gonna hafta come up w/our own counter-plan.

Apes