April's Real Blog

Saturday, April 12, 2008

More Mike Memories

Hey, peeps, I just wanted 2 let U all know that I only have a sec 2 post this morning. I will upd8 2nite w/another Mike memory.


Upd8: I'm back! Man, am I beat. This thing @ UGuelph 4 prospective pre-vet students, they tried 2 cram so much in2 the time we were there, yesterday they had activities starting @ 7:30 AM and not ending until midnite! I learned a lot abt their program and vet schools and stuff, and it was v. interesting, but I M exhausted. 2day we got started @ 7:30 AM again, and finally we wrapped everything up @ around 3:30 this afternoon. And then I still hadta get home.

Oh, and while I was in one of their meetings, my fone started 2 ring. I dashed out in2 the hall and then saw it was Mike's number. I was tempted 2 just silence it, but then I knew he'd leave me a pissy voicemail and then complain 2 Mom if I did that, so I answered. Our convo went sumthing like this:

Mike: Hello, formerly little Sis!

Me: Hi, Mike, what's up?

Mike: The sky! The sky is up!

Me: I'm gonna hang up now.

Mike: No, no! April this is important. The reason I didn't post any memories last nite or the nite B4 is that my son tried 2 flush my laptop down the "po." Apparently, my daughter dared him that he couldn't. Fortunately, it wouldn't go down, but I had 2 take it in 4 repairs.

Me: So what's the big deal? No1 cares abt our stories from the past NEway.

Mike: Stuff and nonsense, April! Ppl from all over pore over these stories 2 help solve the mysteries of how events of the past have shaped the present-day Pattersons! And the story I'm abt 2 tell U is no different!

Me: Mike, I really wanna get back 2 this meeting....

Mike: That can w8, April! This is Patterson history!

Me: Can U make it quick?

Mike: I'm a writer, April. My eloquence cannot B rushed.

Me: ::sigh::

Mike: OK, so here's what happened. I was a young lad of kindergarten age. Mom was sipping from a cup of tea held in her left misshapen hand while switching radio channels with her right misshapen hand. I remember this like it was YESTERDAY, April! A news report came on with "Housing costs and soaring fuel prices are crushing the hopes of many young couples who ::click::" The "click" was actually Mom switching away to another station, where another newscaster was saying, "...A group of students R picketing the university to protest the lack of opportunity in the" and I came up 2 the table looking quite similar 2 our dear friend Linus Van Pelt, and the next word the radiocaster sed I couldn't hear b-cuz Mom's head was in the way. W8, that can't B rite.

Me: I trust that if U have a pt U plan on getting 2 it?

Mike: Patience, formerly little sis. That news caster continued, "They claim they are overqualified for jobs available." Or @ least I think that's what the announcer was saying. Mom's head was obscuring the "Y" in "they," the "fied" in "overqualified," and the "lable" in "available." Oh, w8, that doesn't make sense. NEway, she was eating a sandwich in the classic "Patterson" eating style.

Me: Mike, I really want 2 get back 2 this meeting.

Mike: Then the radio announcer proclaimed,"Scientists warn that irreparable damage has already been done 2 the atmospher thru the indiscriminant use of pollutants." But Mom's head partially obscured the end of "indiscriminant" and the "tants" in "pollutants." W8, that doesn't make sense. Y do I keep remembering her head as making some of the words difficult 2 hear?

Me: B-cuz things didn't make much sense back then?

Mike: Normally, I'd reject an answer like that as flippant, but un4tunately, that is quite true. but no matter, finally I looked at Mom with my brows lifted quite high and my receding hairline quite receding and asked, "Mom?.... Will there B NEthing left 4 me?" She did not reply, but she did react with what is 4 me one of my earliest memories of Mom looking, as you like 2 call it, "gobsmacked."

Me: This is what U made me miss a bunch of meeting time 4?

Mike: But don't U C, April? This story I just told U is a prime xxample of how sensitive and inquisitive I was in my tender youth!

Me: Whatevs.

Then I hung up my fone and turned it off. NEway, that's the past-story 4 2day. Sorry if U were hoping 4 NEthing good or interesting. 2morrow mayB I will have sumthing new and non-annoying 2 share. Tho it cd B new and annoying. Or old and annoying. W8 an' C.


P.S. Jeremy, I've missed U 2! I cannot believe Mike roped U in2 babysitting while I was away. NEhoodles, I M on my way over. I'll B @ yr house by around 7:30 2nite (15 mins. fr now).

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