April's Real Blog

Monday, July 18, 2005

Biker Liz Again!

As you may know, Gordo's letting Liz use the motorcycle again for the summer. Liz is glad she won't have to go through the trouble of convincing Mom to let her ride it, like last summer. Too bad she can't let me ride with her. That would be so cube*. But maybe I'll meet a biker boy in Winnipeg. What? It cd happen!

But what Liz doesn't know is that Mom actually phoned Gordo to try an' get him to say the motorcycle's broken or gone or something. She slammed the phone down when he said "no". "I MADE him!" She yelled. Dad actually tried to calm her down, but she threatened to smash his
So he ran away. Then she went over to Connie's. Poor Connie. Lawrence told Liz that his mom hides when she sees ours coming up the walkway, but Elly P has a way of sneakin' up on ppl!

*Becks an' I told our 'rents that this is a new slang word all the kids are using now. "Cube" like "ice". It's like cool, but even better, cuz ice is, y'know, cold. Go ahead an' tell ur 'rents 2. Let's see if we can trick 'em into using it when they're trying to be "cube" like the kidz!


  • At 11:40 AM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    ur mom is crazy. mayB ur dad could get some doctors to confine her to the loony bin? just a thought. it would make ur summer more fun.


  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    yeah, becks, my mom is so uncube! (btw, have u used that one on ur 'rents yet?)

  • At 2:57 PM, Anonymous Liz said…

    I love riding the motorcycle. I knew Mom would call Gord, so I warned him. One thing I love about Gordon is that he really has the balls to stand up to Mom.

    Apes I'd love to have you ride with me but Mom would kill me and I value my life.

    Cube? I don't know! All I can think of is square. My mom sure is a cube foob!

    If you tell her I said that, I'll deny it.

  • At 3:58 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    yeah, gd point about "square". that'll make it even funnier if we can get the 'rents to use it an' think it's real slang! don't worry, i won't say NEthing to ma. we might have 2 threaten mike to keep him quiet tho!

  • At 7:24 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    apes, of course i didn't try cube out on my rents. my mom is passed out in the bedroom with some guy an' no one has seen or heard from my dad in like five months.

    stop rubbing it in that u have rents who luv u an' i don't.

  • At 7:28 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    i'm sorry becks. i only asked cuz u were the one who came up w/this idea when we were having lattes and "vitamins" together last week.

  • At 7:45 PM, Anonymous Liz said…

    Becky, don't feel bad. At least you are safe in the knowledge that Elly Patterson is not your mother. It's hard having to live up to the expectation of perfection. Sometimes I feel like millions of people are watching the things I do, 'an judging me harshly for them. April do you ever get that feeling? Like you're being watched? Man! I need to go take a long ride on the cycle.

  • At 10:03 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    now that u mention it liz, i do get that weird feeling. like ppl are watching what i say an' do. sometimes even what i think. but i know that sounds crazy!

  • At 12:24 AM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    good point i would never want ur mom to B mine. i prefer my mom even if she doesn't love me at least she keeps her regular-size nose out of my bizniss. mostly cuz she'z stoned or screwing some guy but i don't care she does her thing an' i got mine.

    good newz is that my sis herd from our dad an' it turns out he didn't abandon us after all he just got arrested for smacking mom around. he gets out in 2 more months so we will prolly have a big party an' ur invited Apes. dad is cube an' will let us drink he's gonna have a keg.


  • At 6:09 AM, Anonymous Shannon said…

    Your...mom...scares me...April. And...why does...she keep calling...me...the "special needs" girl? Didn't...you tell...her my name?

  • At 8:33 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    becks, that party sounds awesome! and cube!

    shan, u gotta ignore my mom. she's a little off. i told her ur name, but she's decided ur full name is shannon-that-nice-special-needs-girl. don't feel bad, it cd be a lot worse. ask becks!

  • At 11:13 AM, Anonymous MiCHAEL PaTTERSOn said…

    Hey ApeS and LiZ,

    CuBE FooB!!! TahT'S SO COoL. I ThInK I'M GoiNG To USe ThAt nI My WriTer's CouRSe in My nEXt sToRy ProFiLe:

    My MOM, The cUBe Foob!
    BY MiCHAel PAtterSoN

    In OrdeR to UnderSTand wHy My MOm iS a CuBE FooB we NeeD toO UndRestAnD wHat A CubE FooB is. As DiFined bY mY SiSters, 'CubE' meanS 'CooL' or 'SqUaRe' bUt SquAre is NoT bAd beCuase it MeAnS 'CooL' nOt LamE. It's A woRd ThTa AcSHully hAS toO meaNinGs iN tOday's LinGo or SlanG. KinD Of Like How FaT cAn MeAN "BIG" or it CNa meAn AwESOme. LiKe ThIS: My MoM iS oNe FaT CuBE fOOB. I'M nOT SHurE eXacTly whAt FoOB meAns, But I cNa ONly gUeSS thAt iT meANs "mOthER". In THis cASe mOthEr aGiaN hAs a Dool MeaNing. it cAn Mean "MoM" or "iT caN meAn sOmEthinG aWesOmE Tooo. LiKe ThiS: "ThaT's onE Big MoTHer!!" So In ConClUShun: My Mom The CubE FooB simPly means That SheS a vEry FAt anD SqUaRE MoTHeR,...BUt ThAT'S A GooD thInG.

    MiCHAel PAtterSon

    P.S. I ThinK I'M FiNAlly gettIgN teH hang oF thIs cApiTalaZaShun ThinG. VaNitY FaIrS gOinG to LovE me!!

  • At 2:55 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    you shd so publish that mike! mom'll luv it!


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