Animal Zone

So, I'm having my coffee an' vitamins when I hear a doggie-kitty commotion outside. First barking, then scuttling, then mrowwwing. I don't even wanna go 2 see what's goin' on, but my mom says she's busy inspecting the house to make sure none of us have made any of our "boneheaded mistakes". "You go, April, you're not busy!" No, of course not, cuz I'm just a kid, right?

Well, so I'm not in a big hurry to go out, an' by the time I get there, I see Shiimsa looking kinda like she has a headache. Then I notice Eddie looks like he's almost laughing at her. I know I had this whole zen theory about him, but I don't think that was very "zen" of him!

Then I go into the house and upstairs. Liz is in her room sewing a little dress for Shiimsa. I tell her what I saw, and she tells me Edgar's a brute who needs etiquette lessons. Says she was watching a talk show an' they had doggie charm school and Eddie totally has to go. I doubt Mom and Dad would go for that, though.

Afterwards, I find Dad in his choo-choo room. He asks me what the noise was, so I tell the dummass story again, and he's all, "Well, it's the DOG days of summer, you know", then waits for me to laugh. "My laugh track's broken", I say, but then I feel bad cuz he looks so sad.

Meanwhile, Mom's making hrmphy sounds in the kitchen. When I get there, she points at the salt an' pepper shakers on the table. "What's wrong with this, April? Can you TELL me what's WRONG with this?" I'm thinkin' I can't win when she's like this, so I keep quiet. She gets out her little tape measure from the pocket of her bathrobe and measures the space between them. "These should be exactly 7.5 centimetres apart, April! You know that!" She adjusts them by the, I dunno, two millimetres difference, and adds, "Now GO TO YOUR ROOM AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" So I go up and write this entry. Whatevs, Mom. I'm gonna go check out my chat roomz now, peeps!

TTYL, Apes