April's Real Blog

Friday, July 22, 2005

St. Anthony

Well, I don't read message boards for new parents, cuz why wd I? But some1 anonymously sent me a link to a mssg bd where AnthDad2FranMilboro was posting. Apparently, he wrote this as his intro:

Hi, everyone! I am a new dad to a beautiful, precious baby girl. She means the world to me, but her mother, my D[amned] W[ife], is this cold, withholding, driven career type who wants nothing to do with our baby. She'd barely squeezed the poor babe out before she was planning her next business meeting and checking the continuing-ed course catalogue. Not that this stopped her from extorting money
from our friends at the baby shower. I admit I was the one who really wanted to have a baby, but I figured once she held our little "bundle of joy" in her arms, she'd melt, and her maternal instincts would kick in.

Well, I'm here to tell you, that didn't happen. I was so embarrassed in the hospital when the nurse asked DW if she wanted to breastfeed, and she just laughed and said, "If Mr. Mom over there cannot do it, you'd better just run along and get us some bottles and formula".

So anyway, I'm a full-time SAHD now. My wonderful boss, whom I'll call Mr. Moneybags here, lets me do my accounting job from home
while defrauding the Canadian government on paternity leave. I carry the baby around in a Bjorn all day, so I think I know what pregnancy must feel like, LOL. It's the toughest job I'll ever love, but I must admit I get lonesome, especially since DW goes away on business trips and job-related courses all the time. I think I'm up for the sacrifice, but I can't help thinking about the beautiful, selfless, intelligent girl who dumped me after we dated in high school, the lovely, um, NotLiz. Anyway, baby's waking from her nap, gotta go!

So, I hope Liz keeps her distance, because this just sounds like a bad scene. Maybe she should have stayed up in Noble-North land.

Apes out

2 Comments:

  • At 6:15 PM, Anonymous SAHMof4Trina said…

    I post at a message board where AnthDad2FranMilboro also posts, and he really badmouths his wife sometimes! A bunch of us have been suggesting marriage counselling, but he always changes the subject. Sad.

     
  • At 10:01 AM, Anonymous Liz said…

    It's kinda hard April. I care about Antony like I would any friend I grew up with. Maybe Therese is evil and she's sucking the life out of Anthony bit by bit and that's why he's aged so much.

    It's hard though. Anthony looks as lonley as I do. The sad thing is, he's married. Kinda scares me.

     

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