Introducing Rebeccah!
Disclaimer: Yup, still talking about Monday. Not today-Monday, but a week ago, that Monday. I know U're out there rollin' yr eyez, peeps, thinkin' "Move on already! There R other thingz 2 talk abt." But the big EEVILLL wants me to keep talkin' about that 1 day still.
NEhoodles, after Becks & I had cleared up the whole "rap/crap" an' "U're fat" thing, Ger, Jeremy, Dunc, Becks, & I were standing around talking abt the radio commercial. Ger went, "Congratulations, Man! I mean, getting 2 do a commercial on the radio is major!" Becks was like, "I even got paid! My dad booked 3 gigz 4 me this wk--an' Jeremy's doing the audio." Jeremy was all, "We've got, like, professional gear, 2!" I was like, "Wow. I hope everything works out 4 U, Becky." Becks sed, "It's 'Rebeccah', now. No last name, just 'Rebeccah'." I asked, "Do U think U'll become famous?" And Beck--er, sorry, Rebeccah, was like, "Who knows. But, I have been practicing my signature." She then showed me this notebook she has and she had all these pages where she was trying out diff sigs 2 figure out which lks best. She showed me the one Howard likes best & Jeremy's favourite, 2. She sez she's still undecided.
NEway, do U want me 2 say "Rebeccah" all the time, or is Becky/Becks still OK 4, like, everyday stuff?
Jeremy, I will take U up on that invite 4 watching Ger play hockey. Alex has been teasing me, cuz she's fr. the states an' she's more in2 hockey than I am. She's like, "I thot it was, like, a national law in Canada that U hafta B all hockey-obsessed," & I'm like, "Go Leafs!" :)
Liz, pls keep us posted abt Paul & his injuries. V. worried!
Apes
NEhoodles, after Becks & I had cleared up the whole "rap/crap" an' "U're fat" thing, Ger, Jeremy, Dunc, Becks, & I were standing around talking abt the radio commercial. Ger went, "Congratulations, Man! I mean, getting 2 do a commercial on the radio is major!" Becks was like, "I even got paid! My dad booked 3 gigz 4 me this wk--an' Jeremy's doing the audio." Jeremy was all, "We've got, like, professional gear, 2!" I was like, "Wow. I hope everything works out 4 U, Becky." Becks sed, "It's 'Rebeccah', now. No last name, just 'Rebeccah'." I asked, "Do U think U'll become famous?" And Beck--er, sorry, Rebeccah, was like, "Who knows. But, I have been practicing my signature." She then showed me this notebook she has and she had all these pages where she was trying out diff sigs 2 figure out which lks best. She showed me the one Howard likes best & Jeremy's favourite, 2. She sez she's still undecided.
NEway, do U want me 2 say "Rebeccah" all the time, or is Becky/Becks still OK 4, like, everyday stuff?
Jeremy, I will take U up on that invite 4 watching Ger play hockey. Alex has been teasing me, cuz she's fr. the states an' she's more in2 hockey than I am. She's like, "I thot it was, like, a national law in Canada that U hafta B all hockey-obsessed," & I'm like, "Go Leafs!" :)
Liz, pls keep us posted abt Paul & his injuries. V. worried!
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 9:20 AM
25 Comments:
At 10:51 AM,
Anonymous said…
Becks (Hmm, yeah I can kind of see why you're going by "Rebecca", Becks is the name of a beer) ... Anyhow, I'm really excited about your upcoming gigs. Are they this week and can we all go?? I'm so bored, doing something different this week would be a lot of fun! And I've never seen Jeremy at 'work' so that'd be really cool to see too!
Did I mention how bored I am because I'm really bored.
Bored, Boring Alex
At 12:56 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i got up this morning & i decided 2 use sum of that hair gel to comb my hair off of my face. aftah i did it, it must have been blocking my eyes cuz wen i looked n the mirror, there wuz this 40-year-old man staring @me. @1st i thot there wuz sum1 b-hind me & i turned 2c who it wuz. then i realized it wuz me. i know sumtymz u get oldah & youngah & i know that anthony caine & gordon mayes got rilly old, but i nevah thot it wud happen 2 me. i know it’s supposed 2 happen wen sum enzyme m-boro women have gets on u. do u think it wuz wen becks, i mean rebeccahhhh & i were 2gether or tangi origami? it cudn’t have been alexandra, cuz she’z new. i mean i think it cudn’t have been alexandra. i dunno how this stuff works. alexandra haz been nicer 2 me than becks, i mean rebeccahhhh & tangi were, so mebbe sum of her enzyme got 2 places where the othahs didn’t. i need an impartial opinion. u saw me @skool. do i luk rilly ugly now, or just average? i hope alexandra duzn’t c me & say she’z breakin’ up w/me cuz i luk so old now.
At 1:09 PM,
April Patterson said…
jeremy, last monday (a wk ago), i thot u had this moment rite after becks/rebeccah played her radio ad where u looked older, like an adult. but then l8r, u looked like yr regular self again, so i thot it mighta been the lite? i don't know. have we given up on a cure 4 this rapid-aging syndrome of m-boro str8 guyz, peeps? brenda, r u still out there w/yr notes? professor?
apes
At 1:19 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello). I am now at your sister’s apartment. She is working now. She let me use her computer to write to you. She was happy to see me, but sad to see my injuries. Jesse Mukwa’s nizhigosh (aunt) Margaret brought a blueberry pie after your sister left to work. She said she had called Andrea McGraw, who called the McCleods and Phil Goulais had talked to the girls at the nursing station to come over and help out Elizabeth to handle me. She asked me many questions about my injuries. I answered as many as I am allowed. Some details of the criminal case I am not allowed to reveal to the public.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 1:33 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i looked old last monday 2? man, i am rilly depressed, cuz everytyme i luk n the mirror there iz this old guy staring back @me. i'm afraid it mite b permanent. i think my hair luks bettah outa my face. wudya think?
At 1:37 PM,
April Patterson said…
yeah, i think hair out of face is a better look. alex, do u agree?
apes
At 1:43 PM,
Anne said…
Hi Apes, Alex, "Rebeccah" & gang, sorry it's been so long since I've posted on here, but life's been hella busy. Apes, I'm sorry She-Who-Must-Not-B-Named is making u obsess over stoopid stuff that u can normally let slide, but Milborough's a strange place, as I'm starting 2 learn.
Another reason it seems so weird is bcause yesterday me & Marjee were doing some early Christmas shopping, & ur mom was singing Christmas carols @ the top of her lungs on the sidewalk across from us. "Winter Wonderland," all the standards. She had on her lime green coat & had a lot of shopping bags. Most people assumed she was 1 of those harmless crazy people & were dropping quarters n2 of her bags. Does Becky's mom put rum n2 her bundt cake recipe? I guess every1 has their own way of getting n2 the Christmas spirit.
NE of u up 4 Starbucks after school? I won't try 2 get u 2 flirt w/other guys, Alex, I promise...lol.
Vicks
At 2:00 PM,
April Patterson said…
vicks, my mom is xtra weird around the holidayz. i can't xplain y she gets like that.
i m on 4 the 'bucks @ my usual break time, 4:30 this afternoon. i'm even bringing my guitar this time cuz they're having an open-mic thing & i feel like doin' a bit of playing & singing!
apes
At 2:03 PM,
Anne said…
Sorry, "Rebeccah's" mom. I'm such a foob sometimes! Just like Jackee b4 she changed her name back 2 Jackee Harry.
Cool, Apes! Do u want to play some of the material u & Dunc have been working on?
Vicks
At 3:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
man, rebeccahhhh thinks i luk like grandpa jim. vicki, wen u saw me 2day n skool, did i luk rilly old? do u think my hair luks bettah outa my face? i mite b @the 'bucks @4:30 2, if that's ok. alexandra sez coffee can solve things, so mebbe coffee can help me luk young again. wudya think?
At 3:28 PM,
Anonymous said…
Sorry guys. I've been reading Television Without Pity all day.
That would be a no on the coffee ... I'm just too bored = ( Even coffee won't help ... Or maybe ... Nope. I don't think coffee will help. I think I'm just going to walk around town or something.
Uh. Jeremy on that aging thing ... I just don't know. I am concerned that it was caused by our date on Friday because, you know, we did stuff but ... I'm kind of really concerned about that.
Alex
At 3:35 PM,
Anne said…
Well, Becks, ur upcoming gigs could give u the sort of street cred gangsta rappers and some rock stars love...lol. We can talk about the pros & cons over espresso 2day. :-)
Ur welcome 2 join us, Jer. :-) U did look kinda middle-aged & like ur nose had been flattened this morning. But then later n the cafeteria ur nose looked normal & u looked like a teenager. Either way ur hair looks neater our of ur face.
Coffee works wonders n so many different ways 4 all of us, so it could do the trick 4 u!
Vicks
At 3:46 PM,
Anonymous said…
vicki, my nose had been flattened? man. i luked n the mirror & ur rite. it iz flatter than it wuz. i think i am definitely keeping my hair combed outa my face. thanx 4 the welcome 2 join u 4 coffee. i hafta 2 try sum coffee & c if that fixes my nose. i wish alexandra wuz coming, cuz she wud know which 1’s 2 try. i think i will go by her house & c if i can’t talk her n2 coming. she posted that we did stuff on our date on friday, but u shud know that it wuzn’t plastic surgery.
At 4:47 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello). Your sister has finished her teaching for the day. Jesse Mukwa is here. He wants to be a healer. He pokes at me and asks me if it hurts. Your sister has sent him outside many times. He comes back in, when someone comes to talk / help out, which is often. Vivian and Gary Crane are here. They told the story how they met and came to Mtigwaki (The Land of Trees). This story caused many people to leave. Your sister said it has been told many times. Even people in Mtigwaki do not want to hear it again. It did not cause Jesse Mukwa to leave. Your sister receives instructions for making dinner from Vivian Crane. Jesse Mukwa pokes me.
Gary Crane tells me the story people were upset when he came home to Mtigwaki with Vivian. His mother wanted him to marry an Anishnabe woman. Vivian was accepted because she is a Metis woman. Then he said, “Elizabeth is not Metis or Anishnabe.” I said to him, “I know this.” Then he said, “It is good you know this.” Then I said, “It is our way to speak plainly. Do so.” He said, “It is different in the North. We bend rules a little and make new ones. Students learn what they need to know, can be creative and invent new ways of doing things -- things relevant to the good of the community, the preservation of our language, customs, and ways. Do you know what you need to know?” I said, “I believe I do.” Then he said, “It is good you believe you know what you need to know. I hope what you believe you know is what you truly need to know.” I told him my head hurt. He sent Jesse for aspirin.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 5:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
alexandra, sorry u cudn’t come 2 the 'bucks. i keep tryin’ coffeez & askin’ vicki & april if i luk ne younger. i tried the brewed coffee, espresso, espresso con panna, espresso macchiato, caffè americano, caffè latte, cappuccino, caffè mocha, caffè misto, caramel macchiato, and white chocolate mocha with whip. nuttin seemz 2 work. wut else shud i try? april iz here playin’ her guitar & singing, but i am havin’ a hard tyme concentr8in’ 4 sum reazn.
At 6:08 PM,
April Patterson said…
hey, peeps, i'm sorry it took me so long 2 post! after i put my phone in the charger last nite, mom unplugged the charger 2 use the st00pid vacuum & then she never replugged the charger! i tried posting fr.
vicki's phone like 10 mins ago, but i had blogger trubs. :( then, back @ the store, i tried again, but still cdn't post. now i'm home.
i finished my lil, which was pretty fun, rite after jeremy's last.
moira & bea sed it wd b okay if i spent an hour @ the 'bucks, since my mom was 2 "busy" 2 b around an' notice.
so, like, i was in kind of a funny mood, and i played a buncha diff songs:
"across the universe", but, like fiona apple's version more than
beatles.
"video" by india.arie, 'cept in the parts where she sings "india.arie", i sang "april p".
"all i want 4 christmas is u" by mariah carey, dedicated 2 gerald. (awwwww!)
"don't speak" by no doubt. (audience request)
"i'm only happy when it rains", but garbage, an homage 2 the pissy mood i was in when i called liz.
that was fun! the crowd was really nice 2 me! i was only planning on doing, like, 1-2 songz, but peeps kept on yellin' 4 more! i was way surprised.
vicks an' i helped jeremy pick out a coffee, mocchachino, cuz he sez he likes moccha.
becks, what wild storiez! i'm sorry yr gigs r a disappointment, but i won't say nething abt them @ school.
paul, mtig is a v. v. strange place, but it soundz like u r in gd hands, tho nosy ones!
apes
At 6:11 PM,
April Patterson said…
whoops, not 10 mins ago, it was 10 mins ago when i tried 2 post from the store. that was agez ago! & i finished my lil set. argh! blogger got me so frustrated i stopped previewing & proofing. :(
apes
At 6:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello). There are more than 40 people in your sister’s apartment for supper. Phil Goulais brought in food. He tried to charge your sister for it. Jesse Mukwa’s nizhigosh (aunt) Margaret told your sister she did not need to pay. Phil said Margaret was right. She did not have to pay for a thing. He looked unhappy as he said it. Someone brought a drum. They are dancing now. Your sister’s cat is hiding behind me.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 6:32 PM,
April Patterson said…
that's gr8 newz abt the xmas parties! & gd u don't hafta meet w/mary worth. who knowz what she'd try 2 feed u this time? dog? hamster? parrot?
apes
At 6:38 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, thanx to u & vicki 4 ur help n choosin’ coffeez, evn tho none of them worked 2 make me younger. also, thanx 4 not b-ing mad @me 4 requesting u2 sing one more cup of coffee for the road by bob dylan, kids on coffee by the descendents, or clouds in my coffee by carly simon. i dunno wut came ovah me. i’m gonna go try visiting alexandra @her house 2c if she can help me, if i can stop shakin’ long enuff 2 get there.
At 6:43 PM,
April Patterson said…
no prob abt the requests. sorry the carly simon's the only 1 i knew (i 4got 2 mention it in my other post), tho it's actually "u're so vain", which has that line, "i had sum dreamz they were cloudz in my coffee, cloudz in my coffee".
apes
At 6:47 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, there were othah wordz? sorry. all i cud think of wuz the coffee part. heading ovah 2 alexandra's now. i need help.
At 9:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
I know I've been saying this a lot recently but GOD!
So I didn't go home after school because I was so bored that I didn't want to take the bus or go home. So I took the city bus downtown. And I'm window shopping because I love to window shop. And I'm starting to enjoy myself, a lot! Then I hear someone yell out my name and I turn around and it's that wheelchair kid, Cameron! I turn back around and start walking away. Anyway, this is our conversation
Cameron: Hey Alex, wait up!
Me: What do you want?
Cameron: Nothin', I just wanted to say 'Hi'.
Me: Hi.
Cameron: What'cha doin' downtown?
Me: Going for a walk. You?
Cameron: The same.
Me: Yeah, okay. (Start to walk away.)
Cameron: Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I'm out exercising my arms! Is that better? (Following me.)
Me: Hey, I didn't say anything! (Stops)
Cameron: You didn't have to. (Stops)
Me: Whatever.
Cameron: What's your problem?
Me: Nothing.
Cameron: You treat all your friends like this?
Me: You're not my friend.
Cameron: Why not?!
Me: Because!
Cameron: That's no reason.
Me: I don't like you!
Cameron: Why not?
Me: Just because!
Cameron: That's still no reason.
Me: LEAVE ME ALONE, CAMERON! I DON'T LIKE YOU!!!
I like totally screamed that, at like, the top of my lungs. If you were anywhere nearby you might have heard it because I know people turned and looked and saw me. I totally ran home crying. He just upset me so much. I just hate him! It totally took me a long time to get home because I got lost but it give me enough time to calm down from Cameron upsetting me. I don't want to talk about it. I just don't like him. It's not because he's in a wheelchair, I honestly don't care about that. I just don't like him. Don't talk about him anymore. He upsets me so much.
Anyhow, so when I got home Jeremy was sitting on the front porch of my house and I was like, kind of rude to him and brushed him off when he said "Hi" and I guess he's been by, like, three times today. He said, "Alex, am I ugly?" and I guess my eyes kind of welled up with tears and he said, "I am ugly! You're going to dump me because of my ugly! I'm trying to drink coffee to fight the ugly!" I said, "I'm not going to dump you Jeremy, I don't think you're ugly." My dad must have seen that I was home right then, he opened the front door to probably yell at me for being out so late but he saw Jeremy instead and said, "DAMN BOY! What the hell happened to you? You look like you got beat with da Ugly Stick!" and he just kind of stared at Jeremy as if staring would make things better or something. Then he said to me, "Allie, we need to talk," and he pulled me inside and shut the door slightly. This was our conversation.
Dad: What the hell happen to Germany, he looked like a typical teenager just last week. He looks like a dirty 40 year old now! Maybe you should give him a little somethin'-somethin' so he can find reason to clean up his act, hit the gym for starters.
Me: I think that's what caused the premature aging.
Dad: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT HE'S TOUCHED YOU!?
Me talking over Dad: You just said!
Dad talking over Me: That was before!
Me talking over Dad: No! He's not touching me!
Dad: Good thing.
Me: We think it's something in the water or something.
Dad: What do you mean?
Me: I mean it seems like all the married, dating males in Milborough age prematurely. It's something to do with an enzyme in Milborough females that they somehow pass to Milborough males. I don't know the specifics. We think it's in the water supply.
Dad: And don't you worry about how those enzymes are getting passed either but I don't want you passing any enzymes with that Germany kid either. Especially if he's going to look like that! (As he grabs his coat) You can do better than a 40 year old pedophile.
Me: Uh huh.
Dad: Amber! I'm going to the market to pick up imported bottled water!
Jeremy was sitting on our front steps, waiting for me. My dad nearly tripped on him as he was rushing out of the house. All he had to say when he looked back at Jeremy was, "DAMN! I'm picking up a few bottles of imported bottled water!" Jeremy said, "What was that about?" and I shrugged and Jeremy said, "Have you eaten?" and I said, "No," and he said, "Did you want to?" and I said, "Yeah," and he said, "There's a new C/W bar downtown. My dad knows the owner and I could probably get us in. They have a live band there every night," and I said, "I could really go for some C/W right about now," and he said, "We can take the city bus to get there."
That was two hours ago ... You should check the place out. There's even saw dust on the dance floor and people line dance and it's a really cool place.
I'm still really upset about Cameron, retelling you just upset me again. I had a great evening with Jeremy though. He taught me a line dance. I don't think I was any good.
Alex
At 2:12 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello). The supper party is finally over. The drummers and dancers just left. I am exhausted. This may not be a place of rest. Your sister asks me to ask you not to call her tonight. She needs her rest. She fears you will want to talk about things from last Monday again.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 2:19 AM,
Anonymous said…
april, i can't sleep. i can't stop thinking 'bout alexandra. i luk 40 & she still likes me. i keep thinkin' 'bout how gud she looked line dancin'. she iz so hott. i can't sleep.
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