Shannon Luvs Computerized Justin
So, I have sum more 2 say abt this past Monday. I'll prolly have more 2 say abt it 2morrow, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. And if there's NE goodness in the world, I'll B talkin' about something completely diff next Monday. But I can't guarantee it. There R forces beyond my control.
NEway, after Shannon had her scaree, violent fantasy abt Becks, she asked me where I was going, & I sed the library, since I had 2 read something there. Shannon got all defensive when I kinda acted surprised that she wanted 2 come along. She was all, "U...think...I can't...read, don't...U. Well, I...can! Wanna C...how?" Shan, she's kinda touchy, eh? The only reason I was surprised that she wanted 2 come along 2 the library was that I needed 2 sit there an' read, & I figured it wd B way boring 4 NE1 2 come along 4 that. But once again, whatevs. So, she led me 2 this room with "Integrated Program" on the door and she booted up a 'puter that was all, "Hello, Shannon. How R U 2day?" I was like, "Cool!" And "That sounds like an actual real guy!!" Cuz it didn't sound all robotic like U'd xpect. Then, get this. Shannon got this dreamy lk on her face like she's totally crushin' on computer-voice guy, and she was all "I know....I...call...him 'Justin'". An' I had this feeling like mayB Shannon & Justin needed 2 B, like, alone 2gether 4 a while, yo.
Good luck 2 Becks, who's on a journey 2 London Ontario 2 C sum1 who's supposta B able 2 return Howard 2 human form. Good thots 4 them, every1, OK?
Jeremy, I'm sure Alex wd luv it 4 U 2 ask her out 4 this wkend. But also, it's not a rule that bf/gf hafta go out like every wkend. U'll prolly want 2, but it's not like, if something happened where U cdn't U'd hafta B all thrown out of the bf/gf club, y'know?
Apes out
NEway, after Shannon had her scaree, violent fantasy abt Becks, she asked me where I was going, & I sed the library, since I had 2 read something there. Shannon got all defensive when I kinda acted surprised that she wanted 2 come along. She was all, "U...think...I can't...read, don't...U. Well, I...can! Wanna C...how?" Shan, she's kinda touchy, eh? The only reason I was surprised that she wanted 2 come along 2 the library was that I needed 2 sit there an' read, & I figured it wd B way boring 4 NE1 2 come along 4 that. But once again, whatevs. So, she led me 2 this room with "Integrated Program" on the door and she booted up a 'puter that was all, "Hello, Shannon. How R U 2day?" I was like, "Cool!" And "That sounds like an actual real guy!!" Cuz it didn't sound all robotic like U'd xpect. Then, get this. Shannon got this dreamy lk on her face like she's totally crushin' on computer-voice guy, and she was all "I know....I...call...him 'Justin'". An' I had this feeling like mayB Shannon & Justin needed 2 B, like, alone 2gether 4 a while, yo.
Good luck 2 Becks, who's on a journey 2 London Ontario 2 C sum1 who's supposta B able 2 return Howard 2 human form. Good thots 4 them, every1, OK?
Jeremy, I'm sure Alex wd luv it 4 U 2 ask her out 4 this wkend. But also, it's not a rule that bf/gf hafta go out like every wkend. U'll prolly want 2, but it's not like, if something happened where U cdn't U'd hafta B all thrown out of the bf/gf club, y'know?
Apes out
posted by April Patterson @ 9:21 AM
23 Comments:
At 9:44 AM,
Anonymous said…
Apes,
Girl, I am so sorry. I saw u comin' with Shannon & freaked. I turned around & went the other way. After yesterday, girl, I am so sorry. I promise, one of these days I'll get up the courage to save you.
At 9:50 AM,
April Patterson said…
no problem, eva. hey, this all happened the day b4 yesterday, an' i don't even know y i wanna dwell on it. that's the way it is in our world, for sum reason. sorry u didn't get a chance 2 stick around longer @ starbucks yesterday, btw.
apes
At 9:58 AM,
Anonymous said…
Hee. Jeremy just ran out of the class he was in to give me a kiss. ::Blushing::
Course he had the strangest excuse for doing it! He said that Shannon was pretending to type on her desk and ogling at him and giving me a kiss face. She said, "Hi... Justin, I... had... a... great... tea...ching... lesson... last...," and he cut her off and said, "Jeremy, J-E-R-E-M-Y" and she flipped out on him. She said, "You... don't... think... I... can... have... fan...tasies?! I... can! I... have... a... me...chan...ical... device... I... call... Justin. He... is... very... good... to me!" Apparently the teacher said, "Shannon, we don't talk about what we do privately, alone, in our bedrooms. We discussed this before," and Shannon said, "I...m... not. I... do... this... in... a... classroom... with... others. Justin... tea...ches... me..." Jeremy cut her off again and asked to go to the bathroom, he felt sick. He said kissing me made him feel less sick.
Alex
PS: We have plans for Friday night.
At 11:02 AM,
Anonymous said…
So, I kind of felt so bad about yesterday and being, like, afraid of Shannon that today when she started talking to me in study hall, I like, tried to pay attention. This was our conversation.
Shannon: Your...Jeremy's...girl...friend...Right?
Me: Yeah, I guess.
Shannon: My...boy...friend...is...better. He's...nice.
Me: Jeremy's nice.
Shannon: Not...to...me. He's...always...corr...ecting...me.
Me: That can be nice.
Shannon: My...boy...friend...is...better.
Me: What's your boyfriend's name?
Shannon: Justin.
Me: What's he look like?
Shannon: He's...kind of...beige. A...little...square. No...hair. And...his...face...always...lights up...when...he...sees me.
Me: He sounds very ... Nice.
Shannon: You're...making...fun of me! You...don't...think...I...have...a boyfriend?! Did...you...want...to...meet...him?!
Me: No, I was just thinking! We can't leave study hall together anyhow, the teacher won't let us go roaming the halls for no reason.
Shannon: I...can. I'm...special.
Me: I have to study.
Shannon: Can...I...help?
Me: I don't think so.
Shannon: You...don't...think...I can...read?
Me: I didn't say that!
Shannon: My...boy...friend...Justin...tells...me...I..m...a good...reader.
Me: I'm sure you are.
Shannon: You...don't...believe...me?
Me: I'm gonna go sit over there now.
Dude, honestly. I tried.
Alex
At 12:14 PM,
April Patterson said…
i hope this posts, i've been trying 2 post a comment 4 more than an hour, but blogger keeps buggin'.
i just saw shannon in the hall. she was all, "i...just got...back from...b...in'...sent 2...the...principal's...office." & i was like "u got sent 2 the principal's office?" & she was like, "u think...just b/cuz..i...m...special needs...i...can't get...sent 2...the principal's..office!" & i'm like, "u think just cuz i'm NOT special needs that everything i say or think abt u is cuz u R special needs!" & her mouth kindfa dropped open & then the bell rang 4 lunch, so i got away.
apes
p.s. alex, that's gr8 abt yr fri. planz.
At 12:15 PM,
April Patterson said…
kinda. not kindfa.
At 12:39 PM,
Anonymous said…
Apes,
That totally xplains the "Send April to Venus on a Roket" Campaign Shannon asked for my help on! In art she came up to me and we had this conversation ... If u can call it that.
Shannon: u're...April's...not...new...best...friend...-->?"
Me: "My name is Eva."
Shannon: "That's...not...what...I asked...u're...putting...words...in my...mouth...don't...put...words...in my...mouth."
Me: "Okay."
Shannon: "I...think...April...was...mean...to me."
Me: "Oh, I doubt that. April Patterson is so nice."
Shannon: "u...don't...believe me?!"
Fear made me say, "Of course I do."
Shannon: "I...want...ur...help...making a...sign. I...want...you...to rite...'Send...April...to Venus...on a...Roket'."
Me: "R-O-C-K-E-T"
Shannon: I...can...spell! u...don't...think...I...can...spell! I'll...make...my...OWN...sign! If...you're...not...careful...I'll send...YOU...to...Jupiter!
I'm starting to wonder if Shannon's "special talent" isn't rocket science.
At 12:41 PM,
Anonymous said…
Oh & sorry I missed u yesterday 4 coffee. I babysit sumtimes and yesterday was 1 of those days.
At 12:48 PM,
April Patterson said…
man, it soundz like shannon's like totally overreacting 2 everything, yo! what do u all think we shd do?
apes
At 1:09 PM,
Anonymous said…
Talk slow in short sentences?
I'm gonna go find Jeremy ...
Alex
At 1:46 PM,
Anonymous said…
I found Jeremy before math, right. I walked up behind him and whispered all sultry like in his ear and said, "Hey ... Fly boy." He spun around so fast with a look of pure dread on his face. It softened slightly when he saw it was me and then said, "Don't ever say that again!" and I said, "Why?" and frowned and he said, "I just heard Shannon go in the library," and he pointed to the Integration Program classroom, "and say the same thing!" and I said, "That's not the library," and he said, "Well Shannon said it was," and I said, "It says as clear as day, 'Integration Program' on the door, the library's up the hall more," and he said, "I wasn't about to point that out to her, if she wants that to be the library, that's the library. She's been really defensive today," and I said, "Well that doesn't explain why I can't ever call you 'Fly boy' again," and Jeremy said, "Shannon just went in there and said to someone in there!" So I looked through the little window in the door and I said, "There's no one in there but Shannon and she's sitting at the computer looking all dreamy. Are you sure you heard her right?" "I'm positive," Jeremy said, so I said, "Come on Roket Man, we've got math class."
I know Jeremy doesn't lie but I'm pretty sure he must've heard Shannon wrong.
Alex
At 3:21 PM,
April Patterson said…
geezo, i wdn't put nething past shannon this wk, alex, it's hard 2 tell what she mite say or do!
apes
At 3:22 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
I won't be in school tomorrow. My parents are having American Thanksgiving. You'll have to tell me what Shannon's doing at school, though no doubt I'll hear about it on Friday. Gawd, am I glad today is finally over with!
You're not on Venus, are you? See you at Starbucks, 4:30?
Alex
At 3:34 PM,
April Patterson said…
alex, nope, i'm still on earth. 4:30 @ the 'bucks soundz cube. r u traveling 4 t-giving?
apes
At 3:36 PM,
Anonymous said…
Alex, I'll be in 2morrow if Apes is 2 busy fending off Shannon's advances, I can give you a play-by-play, at least until the battery on fone dies.
Apes, 2morrows no good for me and coffee but Fri I'm available if u wanna meet. That is if Shannon doesn't follow u home, then I might B 'unavailable'!
At 3:40 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Naw, I wish we were traveling for T-day but mom says it's too far and NYS is suppose to get snow anyhow. I guess I'm just sleeping in and then eatin' all day.
Do you know if Jeremy like turkey? Maybe I can bring him some leftovers, or my share. I hate turkey!
Alex
At 3:44 PM,
April Patterson said…
eva, omg, i so hope shannon doesn't start following me home! but the coffee thing soundz gd.
alex, i don't think jeremy & i have ever discussed turkey, but he prolly likes it.
apes
At 4:03 PM,
Anonymous said…
I'll buy the coffee on Friday if Shannon walks home with you, which I'm betting she will.
See you in 30.
Alex
At 4:15 PM,
April Patterson said…
lol, if she walks home w/me, she'd better b fast since i totally take the bus! ;)
apes
At 5:27 PM,
Anonymous said…
Coffee with April was pleasant as always. We discussed Shannon again today ... Which I have to say is kind of getting boring but, you know, sometimes that's just the way things are, you know? One slow Monday and it seems like the whole week drags.
This is part of our conversation:
Me: So why do you think Shannon acts the way she does?
April: I think she's just anxious and really wants to be liked by others.
Me: Isn't that what they said about Carrie?
I swear she's going home with you on Friday. I bet you a cup of coffee.
April: Oh, you are so on!
Alex
At 6:05 PM,
April Patterson said…
man, scaree idea abt carrie! that coffee was delish. oh, remember when i sed i dreaded goin' back 2 the store after my break? i musta had a psychic thing goin'.
less than 5 mins after i got back 2 lilliput's, shannon walked in w/her mother. mrs. lake was like, "oh, i have 2 browse in the 'social work' section. shannon, u can look around 4 a while." i had a rush of customers next, so i had 2 check them out fast. when there was a lull, i heard sobbing coming fr. the computer section. so i went ovr there & found shannon sitting on the floor with a buncha programming bks open around her.
me: what's the matter, shannon?
shannon: i thot... i'd b... able... 2... find a... bk... that wd...help... me make... my... bf... justin.... luv me more. but these... r... all...gobbledeeguk.
me: justin? isn't justin the name u gave that computer program?
shannon: yes...what's yr...point?
me: computer programs don't luv, they just, like, do what the programmer sez they shd do.
shannon: u...think...i don't....know that. ...just cuz...i'm special needs?
me: no, i think u don't know that cuz u just sed u wanted 2 make justin luv u more.
shannon: mom!!!!!!
me: i'm outta here!
neway, mrs. lake ended up buying, like, 10 diff programming bks 4 shannon. so whatevs, i guess.
apes
At 6:22 PM,
Anonymous said…
= O
No way! Wow I guess Mrs. Lake isn't going to be of any help when it comes to Shannon. OMG! That's freaky.
Jeremy keeps calling me. He thinks I'm mad at him because I told him I didn't want to see him tonight. He asked why. I said because I saw him yesterday. He said, "Yeah, I know, I liked that." I tried to explain that sometimes you should put days in between seeing each other so you don't get sick of seeing each other and he said, "I'll never get sick of seeing you." ::Sigh:: Now I'm just not answering the phone, I feel bad about that but ... I'll see him on Friday!
Alex
At 9:20 AM,
Anonymous said…
Oh, man. I did sumthing stoopid again. Its so cube that no1s seen me. I rilly wish my zits wld come back 'cos theyd improve my face. Im l8 4 the bus. U wont c me if I c u 1st. L8r.
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