April's Real Blog: That "A" Word

Monday, November 14, 2005

That "A" Word

So I 4got 2 mention that Mom took me shopping 4 zit remediez yesterday. I h8 the word "acne"! So not fair that Ger, Becks, & that girl Eva all have, like, perfect skin, when Dunc & I hafta have these uggo outbreaks! :(

I cdn't stand it NEmore, so I just came out & asked my mom@ breakfast this morning, "Did U hold a real friend audition? Or a fake friend audition?" & she kinda sighed & sed, "Actually, it was both." & I'm all, "What do U mean, it was both?"

Mom: OK, well U have 2 understand, I cdn't help noticing how U were writing in yr monthly letterz that U need a new friend.

Me: Mom, U kept putting that in my letterz.

Mom: Oh. Rite. But still, U seemed lonely. & I thot mothers know best. After all, I did such a nice job finding yr sister her Mr. (W)Right. (Laughs with her tongue sticking out.)

Dad: Good one, El.

Mom: Thanks, John!

Dad: Don't mention it!

Mom: 2 l8, I already did!

(Both laff w/their tongues out.)

Me: Can we get back 2 the real/fake friend-audition thing?

Mom: O, rite. I 4got!

Dad: Early senility, babe!

Mom: Shuddup and don't call me babe! So, yes, I decided I'd set up these auditions & use my maternal understanding of U 2 pick out the perfect new friend. Then I really did bribe the bus driver so I cd view that security tape & I got this sort of evil plan 2 use the conversation U had with that nice, tight-bunned girl on the bus. I must admit, I was sore about the fuss U and the school board and the nurse and her scientist friend made about the chicken wrap.

Me: Mom, cd U pls admit that those ingredients were not fresh? I heard that U told Mrs. Lake they were "the freshest ingredients".

Mom: (sigh) Yes, that was a lie. But who doesn't lie 2 social workers? & then perpetuate that lie 2 their underlings l8r @ dinner? Remind me, next time I decide I want dinner with "the girls", 2 invite Connie & Anne instead of Moira and Beatrice. Confiding in my employees is so awkward.

Me: So U were gonna admit?

Mom: The ingredients were 2 old & I should have thrown them out instead of feeding them 2 U. But U know how much I h8 2 waste! Really, I didn't think they were bad enuf 2 make U sick! Or if they did, I didn't think they'd do more than make U throw up a little. You're young and healthy, U wd have shaken it off!

Me: Mom!

Mom: Sorry. That was wrong.

Me: So the tape. And the friend auditions.

Mom: Yes, so the little devil on my shoulder knocked the angel off of my other shoulder & sed, "Use that conversation. Undermine April's confidence just like she & all those others just undermined yrs!" So I used the conversation as part of the audition instructions. And characterized it in a very mean way.

Me: Way mean.

Mom: I'm saying! & then I did find sum decent "friend" prospects fr. the auditions, but after Mrs. Lake made such a big deal abt how wrong the auditions were, I decided there was no way I cd use them. & I told Connie what 2 say, & she really was horrified. So they started as real auditions and turned in2 fake auditions. And really, I can C they weren't necessary, b/cuz U clearly made a new friend on the bus.

Me: True.

Mom: And there's yr new friend Alexandra. And I know U're still friends with Becky. And that's fine, April, I know she's a gd kid.

Me: Thanx Mom.

Mom: One thing I ask in return.

Me: ???

Mom: Say "U're a good mother, Mom."

Me: (choking a lil) "U're a good mother, Mom."

Dad: (pretending 2 B choked up) I need my camera, this is soooo touching!

Me & Mom: Shuddup! Play with yr trains! Jinx! Buy me a Coke!

Becky, BTW, Dunc sat w/me on the bus this morning & he sed he's confused abt U & abt Eva. He sed he's still totally in2 U, it's like U R the ultimate fantasy grrl 4 him. & he's afraid that U'll dump him NE day now 4 sum grade-12 stud, so he started 2 think he shd lk 4 a nice "back-up" grrl that was more in his own league.

Liz, I'm so glad U & Paul R having such a nice time 2gether. Mom keeps asking me if I've heard NEthing abt U 2, but I alwayz say NO!

Howard, Brenda, pls keep us posted abt yr progress. & Safety.

Jeremy, Alex, try not 2 get hurt, yo!

Apes out

30 Comments:

At 8:53 AM, April Patterson said…

i published 2 early by mistake. post is coming soon!

apes
At 9:19 AM, Anne said…

Um, adultery, avocado? lol....

I swear, after reading yesterday's posts, I'm thankful my love life's nonexistent. Marjee was cool enough 2 play Halo 2 w/me last nite. My skillz r rusty, 'cause she beat me!

An' I know u complained about that new girl Eva having perfect skin, but she's wearing Clearasil like it's warpaint 2day....lol.

Talk soon!

Vicks
At 11:17 AM, howard said…

April,

This morning, Brenda Starr and I drove up to the Johnston Institute For Better Living. It is a red brick and stone front place with a few offices in it and a deck overlooking a lake. I am sitting out there now, typing this to you. It’s a really nice view.

When we got here, we told the lady at the front, we had an appointment and that we should be expected. The lady immediately jumped up and said, “Brenda Starr! I’m Allison. We have been looking forward to your visit. We are all fans of yours. Without the trails you blazed, the Johnston Institute For Better Living would not even exist. Then 5 other women came in, and Allison introduced them as Nancy, Liuba, Laura, Jackie and a woman that I’ve met before, your mother’s web designer Stephanie. I said to Stephanie, “You’ve changed your hairstyle since I last saw you. It looks a lot better short.” Stephanie said thank you and gathered with the other women around Brenda. Brenda said, “What do you ladies do around here?”

Nancy said, “I am the Executive Director. I am responsible for getting the Johnston Institute brand on model railroads, miniature carousel horses, and modular charms.”
Brenda said, “How about GPS units?” Nancy coughed and said, “You’ll have to talk to the boss about those.”

Liuba said, “I am the Accounts Executive. I am a keen bookkeeper with a passion for numbers!”
Brenda said, “What numbers are you passionate about?”
Liuba said, “Numbers with lots of zeroes on the end. They make me all tingly.”

Allison said, “I am the Executive Associate. I manage licensing contracts, royalties, project schedules, travel arrangements, meeting agendas and many other administrative tasks.”
Brenda said, “You’re a secretary?”
Allison said, “Sshh. We don’t use that word around here.”
Brenda said, “OK. But what does Executive Associate mean?”
Allison said, “It means I associate with having executive responsibility.”

Laura said, “I am the Creative Director. I am Lynn's right-hand and help with the final processing of the Johnston Institute products.”
Brenda said, “Why are you carrying those triangular rulers?”
Laura said, “Everything in life is a straight line. Every building, every street, even the bottom of clouds. Straight. We just need a triangular ruler to see that.”

Jackie said, “I am the Graphic Designer. Among other things, I act as the managing librarian and archivist for Lynn Johnston's entire body of work!”
I said, “Is it all right if I ask you this question: Is it Dr. Ted McCauley or Dr. Ted McCaulay that has been helping the Johnston Institute operations in Milborough?”
Jackie said, “You don’t expect me to actually look that up, do you? Do you know how massive that entire body of work is?”

They told us that their boss was very busy, and as soon as she was done, she would meet with us. Brenda is still inside asking questions, which is what she does so well. I decided to take a break on the deck and type this to you. Brenda may post something when she is ready.

Toodles,
Howard Kelpfroth
At 11:35 AM, Anonymous said…

april. i noticed u did not put me on ur perfect skin list. i saw u n the hall between classes. did u grow 10 cm ovah the weekend? ru wearin' 1 of thoze padded bras becks told me u & becks bot 1 time? u luk diffrent frum last week.
At 11:43 AM, Anonymous said…

Elizabeth,

Boozhoo gwanaaj oshki-ikwe (Hello beautiful one)!

I have made it home. I will sleep now before my work shift starts. I read your writing from yesterday. I was confused by the hiking. Maybe you mean kayaking. But, we didn’t hike or kayak in your apartment. We…I understand now. I miss you.

Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
Constable Paul Wright
At 11:54 AM, April Patterson said…

howard, it soundz like u & brenda r getting close 2 sumthin' up there. i m nervous 4 u & i hope u find what u r looking 4 & get back safely.

jeremy, i didn't mention u on my clear-skin list cuz whenev yr name comes up 2 my mom, she goez in2 this whole thing abt the accident & how visiting u in the hospital was the rite thing 2 do & i shd thank u 4 that v. v. imp. character bldg yada yada blahblah. but u r lucky u haven't broken out.

boozhoo paul! u r making my sis happy & i m so glad. :)

apes
At 12:10 PM, April Patterson said…

comment glitch, str8en out!

apes
At 12:14 PM, April Patterson said…

oh, & jeremy, abt my height. yeah, it's the weirdest thing. i, like, feel a lot taller. i hope i don't shrink back again, cuz i was sort of annoyingly short 4 a while there.

apes
At 12:21 PM, Anonymous said…

Howard,

I hijacked a computer. All the girls looked at the clock and jumped. They said in unison, "We have a programming session to attend." Then they all scuttled into a back room and actually left me here alone. Yet...I feel as if I'm being watched. The decore around here is so cheerful and sweet and smells like potporrie. You would never think this is the deep dark and dank Johnston Insitute For Better Living (JIForBL) says the plaque on the door. The walls are painted a tasteful cream color and there are pictures everywhere, pictures of people we know! Elly, John, Mike, Liz, April, Duncan. ..and so on, they are all there! On the table are remnants of what looks to be a Russian breakfast and a big note book which says, "Menus for Afternoon Tea on the Deck. It's open to a page that says "Monday - Fresh Raspberries".

Everyone looks so cozy and happy. Someone just walked by! I need to type fast, I think I heard one of the ladies call him Sean, he assists the boss some how! More later!

Love,
Brenda
At 4:07 PM, howard said…

April,

After finishing my posts, Brenda Starr and I still had not met the boss. I found Brenda looking around the lights and at the corners of the ceiling. I asked her what she was doing. She said, “I feel as if I'm being watched. There’s got to be hidden cameras around here.” I said, “Have you found any?” Brenda said, “Not yet, but a place so deep dark and dank must have hidden cameras.” I said, “There are giant windows all around and it is quite bright and cheerful.” Brenda said, “It’s the nicest looking places that are the most insidious. Believe me, I know. The JIForBL will be no exception.” I said, “Gee For Bull? What’s that?” Brenda said, “Johnston Insitute For Better Living.”

A man walked by, the first man I had seen in the place. I asked him if he knew when we would be able to meet the boss, since we had been waiting all day. He said his name was Sean. Brenda asked him what he did around the place. He said he wasn’t sure. The Johnston Institute for Better Living produced a series of 16 television specials with which he was involved, but they all originally aired back in 2000, even though they were regularly rerun. He said, “I don’t really work here. I think they invite me here whenever they want to look at some eye candy.” Brenda and I both agreed he was an attractive fellow.

Brenda has spotted something. I will post to you later.

Toodles,
Howard Kelpfroth
At 4:09 PM, Anonymous said…

april. i unnerstand the height. i hope u stay tall. u luk bettah when ur taller. wut 'bout the padded braz? ru stuffin'?
At 4:18 PM, April Patterson said…

no, i'm not stuffin' my bra, i think mayB i had a growth spurt sumwhere else 2. i also wanna stay tall.

apes
At 4:43 PM, Anonymous said…

april. ur sayin' those r real? can u get gerald 2 confirm?
At 4:50 PM, Anonymous said…

Dear Jeremy,

They are real, and quite perky. I know. I saw them for a whole quarter-second at the doctor's office.

April, I am sorry you have acne. If I could get some pimples to make you feel better, I would. You are still beautiful to me. Unless you get acne on your boobs--that would be gross.

Sincerely yours, Gerald
At 5:04 PM, April Patterson said…

agh! that word! "acne"! nope, none on my boobs, tho if i did, @ least they'd b easier 2 hide than the zits on my face.

becks, dunc told me he was afraid 2 talk 2 u 2day cuz he feels he really screwed thingz up. he sez he's v. v. nervous around u.

apes
At 5:25 PM, howard said…

April,

I am trembling as I write this. You will not like reading it, so if you want to avoid unpleasantness, you should stop reading right now. I have to tell you what happened while I still can.

We got to meet the boss, Lynn Johnston at last. Brenda Starr and I were ushered into her office. There was someone in there, but she was kind of shadowy and unreachable. I said, “Would you turn on a light?” A light switch was flipped. When my eyes adjusted I could see a woman in front of me that could have been your mother’s twin, except for not having her hair in a bun, or a size-changing nose, or gray hair, or a number of other things. Now that I think about it, she really didn’t look like Elly Patterson at all.

She said, “Brenda Starr. What a pleasure to finally meet you. I have been an admirer of yours for years.” Then she looked at me and I offered her my hand and said, “Howard Kelpfroth. A pleasure to meet you, Lynn Johnston.” She stared at me for a minute and said, “Howard, yes. I know you. I had conveniently forgotten you, but it is coming back to me now that you are here. Kelpfroth is not your last name though. I will think of it in a minute. It does begin with a ‘k’ sound, but it’s not Kelpfroth.” I said, “I assure you that it is Kelpfroth.” She said, “I am certain that it isn’t, since I was the midwife at your birth.” I gasped.

Brenda said, “The reason why we are here is that we would like to ask you some questions about the Johnston Institute For Better Living’s involvement in a town near Toronto, called Milborough. We saw pictures of persons from the town in your office, so you may as well confess what you know about Milborough.” Lynn Johnston said, “You’re here about the premature aging and the GPS sensors. Am I right?” Brenda said, “Yes, that’s correct. What do you know about it?” Lynn Johnston said, “Why everything. I am responsible for it, completely and totally.” Brenda said, “That’s remarkably candid of you. I normally have to sleep with an informant before I get that kind of response.”

Lynn Johnston said, “Let me explain, Brenda. In some places people don’t age and in some places people do.” I said, “What do you mean?” Lynn said, “Howard. I will give an example, using Brenda here. Brenda, how old are you?” Brenda said, “That’s a rude question to ask a lady.” Lynn Johnston said, “I happen to know that you have been reporting for 65 years. Have you every wondered why you don’t get older?” Brenda said, “People don’t get older. That’s what makes the situation in Milborough so interesting and newsworthy.”

Lynn Johnston said, “So you think, but I decided that in Milborough, people would get older.” Brenda gasped, “You monster.” Lynn continued, “When I started the Johnston Institute in 1979, GPS technology was in its infancy, but it was a good means to an end to activate the latent enzymes secreted by the Milborough women’s sticky-out tongues. With proper GPS and exposure to the enzymes, people will age.” Brenda said, “You evil creature. How could you do such a horrible thing?” Lynn answered, “Before you condemn me, Brenda, I should let you know that I am not the only one who does this. There are other places where people age. But they use other methods than enzymes and GPS sensors. With the Winkerbeans, it was exposure to band music. In Gasoline Alley, it was a certain moonshine that Rufus made. With the Bumsteads it was exposure to Blondie herself. They were aging nicely until Blondie found she was getting crow’s feet and she put an end to that by starting her own business to get out of the house.”

I said, “But why do you have the straight men age so much faster than anyone else?” Lynn Johnston said, “Did you notice how many straight men are working in my office?” I said, “I didn’t see any men, except Sean, and he doesn’t really work here.” She said, “Give the man a gold star, or a gold sparkle in your case, Brenda. Yes, Sean is nice to look at, but I prefer to work with women. Men are insensitive clods, good for only one thing.” I was going to ask what that one thing was, but thought better of it. Lynn said, “Dentistry. I will take a man dentist over a woman dentist any day of the week.”

Brenda said, “I will put a stop to your madness. I will write a riveting expose of your business in the Flash. You will never age a person again, if I can help it.” Lynn Johnston said, “I don’t think so.” She picked up a phone, dialed and said, “June and Mary. Brenda Starr is over here and causing me trouble. Yes, I am sure it’s her. Nobody sparkles like Brenda. Would you handle that for me please? Thanks.” Then she hung up. Brenda got up and said, “I am ready for whoever comes through the door.” Lynn Johnston said, “They won’t come through the door, Brenda.” Then there was a flash of sparkly light and Brenda disappeared.

I yelled, “What did you do to Brenda?” Lynn Johnston said calmly, “She’ll be fine. She’s back where she belongs, interviewing chefs and Chihuahuas. The real question is ‘What am I going to do with you?’” I said, “What do you mean?” Lynn said, “Howard. I only had one purpose in mind for you and you completely messed it up. You were supposed to attack Elizabeth and make everyone love Anthony, so they would be overjoyed when Elizabeth married him. You completely bungled it. After your screw-up, nobody loved Anthony anymore and I had to make other plans. Do you know how much pain you caused Elizabeth?” I said, “I told her I was sorry.” Lynn said, “Sorry? Do you think that’s enough? Elizabeth is like a daughter to me. I take a personal interest in her and her whole family. I wanted you in jail for at least 2 years, but Tracey Mayes begged me to leave you alone and I agreed. Now you are here in my office, showing no respect for what she did for you. Howard, I think you’re one of these people who do whatever you want without thinking, and it brings people pain. Are you the kind of person who likes hurting other people?” I said, “No. I don’t want to hurt anyone.” She said, “All right Howard. I know how much you enjoy posting to April. I will give you time to write this down, while I decide what to do with you.” I have finished writing this, and Lynn Johnston says that she has decided.

Toodles,
Howard Kelpfroth
At 5:47 PM, Anonymous said…

Friends,

Here is what happened before hand. I don't know what to do. I can't leave my office. I keep reappearing here every time I try to leave.

Each year to commemorate the filming of James Cagney's first film ever, which was filmed on their locations. For the event all the staff members at JIForBL dons make up and costumes, I saw circled on the calendar that today was that day. Stephanie came out from her programming meeting all dressed like a Goth. The girl is fooling NO ONE. We know Step is a rebel! She called Howard and I over to her office. She flicked a little switch which drowned the room in white noise.

Steph: Listen you two. We all know what you're up to. We've been watching. We've always been watching. We keep tabs on the lives of everyone in Milborough.

Me: Can you tell us more about the age acceleration...the marriage rate....the strange quirky 50's values? Can we speak to the boss?

Steph: You don't want to speak with the boss Bren.

Me: Don't call me Bren.

Steph: defiance flashed in her eyesTrust me.....Bren. You'll only end up with a mind scramble and possibly a new suit should you mess with the boss. Milborough is her baby. She founded it. She populated it. It's hers. Mess with her. She do a little dance on your face baby.

Howard and I looked at each other and Stephanie leaned forward. People age in Milborough because that's what she wants. People act irrationally or stereotypically because that's what she wants. Even April and Duncan and Becky. They try to exercise their free will, but the boss is always there, directing them. She has their lives mapped out. They are family she says and "We regard the family as the most important part of our lives." If you mess with Mama she gonna wipe you out.

Howard: You mean kill us?

Steph: No baby! I mean she's gonna wipe you out and no one will remember you ever existed. Stephanie looked at me There's nothing we can do about you Bren, but good ol'Howard here will just vanish off the face of the earth She picked up a pencil and held the eraser to Howard's face and made a ssswwwissh sound. "Just like that!" Poor Howard gulped and looked at me rather pleadingly

Me: Listen Stephanie, we have rights! We have a right to know and stop the accelerated aging of the men in Milborough. We have a right to live our own lives!

Steph: Yeah ok. But listen. You all can do what you want but you have to follow the rules.

"Rules?" Howard and I asked together.

Steph: Yeah, the rules. They be this. Firstly, you remember it's Mama's world, you live by her rules. You let her direct your lives and keep low key and all will be good. You get Mama's attention and you can forget about free will. It be gone. Stephanie snapped her fingers with attitude Howard will be imprisoned for life. Becky and April will be bitter enemies and no one will remember you. Krystal's Kakes and Pies? Gone. The restaurant....back to the way it was. Alexandra, erased. Jeremy, back to a sullen bad guy with bad teeth. Mike, perfect hero of the day. Elly, Sainted and beloved woman, cornerstone of her family and community. John, brilliant dentist with a small hobby. Liz, stodgy little teacher just waiting for a husband.

Me: No one wields that kind of power.

Stephanie laughed. You wanna bet? I'll call her out right now and that will be the end of life as you know it. That will be the end of April's precious real blog. You wanna push the issue with Mama? DO YOU?
I looked at Howard questioningly. "Do we want to push the issue?" I asked, feeling more than a little frightened.

Oh man! We should never have pressed the issue. I'm sorry girls.

Sad and heartbroken,
Brenda
At 5:48 PM, April Patterson said…

omg, howard, omg! i know u told me 2 stop reading, but i cdn't! ms. johnston, pls just let howard go! pls, pls, pls!

becky, u r so pretty, i think lotsa guys just get scared off, like they think there's no way they r good enuf 4 u. which is really sucky cuz u just want some1 2 luv u like ne1 else. u've gotta add that sheryl crowe song, "r u strong enuf 2 b my man" 2 yr playlist. :(

apes
At 5:52 PM, April Patterson said…

omg! omg!!!

i'm scared, peeps! so scared!

::shaking::

apes
At 6:10 PM, April Patterson said…

becks, it's a gd thing u've got yr phone cuz u can find maps on the 'net!

god, i m so scared 4 howard & 4 u & every1 i know! i'm totally freakin'!

apes
At 7:15 PM, April Patterson said…

becks, glad i cd help sumhow. yeah, this all puts the zits thing in perspective.

apes
At 7:26 PM, Anonymous said…

Girls,

I had a really tough time logging on to your blog May...June...April. Things just aren't right!! Need sleep. Will be back. Doing my best to hold on to you...Memory is fading. Writing Howard howard 500 times before bed. Howard Howard. Howard Flepkroth. No, Helproth. Trelpmoth? Howard WHO?
At 7:37 PM, April Patterson said…

oh noooooooo!!! peeps, it soundz like ms. johnston has done sumthin' 2 erase brenda starr's memoriez abt us & mboro! this is v. v. bad! i don't know what 2 do!

apes
At 7:46 PM, Anonymous said…

April

(Hi Vicki! I was thinking of you today but I couldn't get online to tell you 'Hi' or see if you wanted to get coffee and ogle at the cute boys behind the counter. How's tomorrow??? April, you're so invited, btw.)

Why did you say 'Jeremy, Alex, try not 2 get hurt, yo!' in your morning post? JEREMY, WHAT DID YOU TELL HER?! I asked you not to say anything! I HATE YOU JEREMY! YOU'RE A SUCKY LIAR AND ... I HATE YOU JEREMY!

So I guess Jeremy told you everything so now it's no surprise why I wasn't in school today. BECAUSE JEREMY IS SUCH A SUCKY NOT BOYFRIEND THAT HE TOTALLY TELLS SECRETS! Jeremy, don't even talk to me anymore. I so can't trust you. You suck Jeremy -- and in a bad way.

Anyhow. Sucky Jeremy, April didn't listed me in her list of clear and not clear faces either. I got lumped in with "all the other people". But Eva got mentioned. Not that I'm jealous or anything for not being mentioned. Totally not jealous because I'm not the jealous type. AND I DON'T TELL SECRETS WHEN I'M TOLD NOT TO TELL! I'm a much better NOT girlfriend than you are a NOT boyfriend, smelly Jeremy Jones!

And it's very interesting, SUCKY JEREMY, that you tell April what I told you not to tell anyone and then you go and start discussing her boobs with her. I guess my boobs aren't good enough for you. WELL NOW YOU'LL NEVER FIND OUT SUCKY JEREMY!

Jeremy sucks.

Alex
At 7:55 PM, April Patterson said…

alex, jeremy didn't tell me nething. the stuff abt not getting hurt was cuz of the stuff u'd sed abt yr dad & how he got jeremy all scared abt touching or kissing. & u have clear skin, lucky! sorry i 4got.

becks, i have a feeling that wdn't work 2 get brenda's memory back, but then again, there's lots i don't know.

apes
At 8:21 PM, Anonymous said…

alexandra. i like ur boobs. i wud like 2c them sumday, but i screwed up agin & now i’ll nevah c them. man. i suck. just like u sed.

i knew i shudn’t ask april ’bout her boobs, but last week they were tiny & this week they were ginormous. they were az big az her mom’s, not that i luk at april’z mom’z boobz or nething. oh i can’t lie 2u alexandra. it’s rilly hard 4 me 2 not look at girl’z boobz, evn april’z mom’z. i swear the only boobz i wanna feel r yourz. i wudn’t sed nething 2 april ‘bout it, but peeps were talkin’ ‘bout whether she wuz stuffin’ or usin’ padz or had sum surgery. so i just thot i wud ask, cuz i like 2 know the truth ‘bout thingz instead of gossip. april wuz talkin’ ‘bout her zits 2day, but nobody @skool wuz lookin’ @her face.

& i swear i nevah tol’ ne1 thoze thingz u tol’ me not 2 tell ne1. it’s hard 4 me 2 keep a girlfriend, cuz i make so many mistakes. sorry i messed up w/u. i rilly like u.
At 8:46 PM, Anonymous said…

Jeremy, you swear you didn't tell tell and April's just trying to save your nice ass? ::Glaring:: I only believe you because April said you didn't tell her nothing.

Alex
At 8:52 PM, April Patterson said…

alex, jeremy tellz the truth even when he's afraid the truth will get him in trub. & sumtymz it doez.

apes
At 10:30 PM, Anonymous said…

I was just talking to my sister, because we had a bonding moment today and we were talking and I was just talking to my sister and I was telling her about Jeremy and how I'm always so confused about him and how I'm always mad at him because I think he's done something and then I find out that he didn't do anything and he ends up blaming himself for not doing whatever it is that I thought he did when really he shouldn't have done it or whatever so then he thinks he sucks and then I feel bad for making him feel bad. Do you know what I mean?

So I was telling my sister about all that and she said that I'm lucky. She said nobody ever cared about her like she thinks Jeremy cares about me. I told her that I think Jeremy just likes kissing me. She said that's how it all starts. They like your kisses and then they start to care about you because they're concerned about the kissing stopping. I told her that I don't think that's true and she's only a year older so she isn't as wise as she thinks. She pretended to push me away, all joking like, and then apologized and told me she didn't mean it, she was just being a sister.

She told me that I should call Jeremy and invite him over to apologize and "make up" as she put it. I told her it's late. She said that she'd occupy mom while Jeremy was here, that I could meet Jeremy outside in the dark. But I told her not today and asked for a rain check. And she patted me on the head nicely and left.

So I guess she could be right. I'm going to apologize to Jeremy tomorrow at school. My sister was really nice today. I'm glad I have a sister today.

Alex
At 12:59 AM, Anonymous said…

Elizabeth,

Kaa-mesnin gwanaaj oshki-ikwe! (I miss you, beautiful one)!

I have many questions. The writings to your nijiimensag (sister) April today worry me. Why does Howard speak of attacking you? He should be in jail. Do your friends in Mtigwaki know of this man? I am so far away from you. Do want me to come protect you? I know you are zoongide`e (strong).

I think often of our kayak trip. My partner says I act differently. She says it is because I mazhiwe (hiked) with you. I tell her my feelings for you are strong. My partners says I like oshki-ikwe (women) who diibishkoo ayaa agijayi`ii (need to be protected). She is right.

My work schedule has my work through the weekend. My next days off are Monday/Tuesday. May I see you then?

Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
Constable Paul Wright

April's Real Blog

Monday, November 14, 2005

That "A" Word

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