Epidemic of Zits

So the girl I was talkin' 2 on the bus yesterday? Her name is Eva. Dunc totally checked her out & he wants 2 meet her, but only after his zits clear up. I've got sum 2, but I can hide 'em under my bangs. Tho Marjee told me the bangs cd B causing them 2. MayB sumday I'll get rid of them, but my mom's got this weird thing abt how I shdn't change my appearnce 2 much--so "casual acquintances" will recognize me. Whatevs. Mom clearly h8's me NEway, so who cares.

This morning, I was so upset abt that st00pid "friend audition" Howard told me about, that I left xtra early. I figured I'd rather stand outside in the cold than B in that house a second longer than I had 2. Good thing I did leave early, but I'll xplain Y in a bit. First, that disgusting "friend audition". U C, I know it happened after I met Eva on the bus, but the stuff my Mom was saying was like sum1 had watched & listened 2 our bus convo & then xplained it in a really mean, wrong way. Cuz, according 2 Howard, Mom told the audition peeps , "Your daughter must be willing to cater to the personality quirks of my daughter. April is blissfully unaware of her poor fashion sense and I do not want her to be traumatized by an ill-timed word of disapproval. Your daughter must be willing to compliment her on every part of her attire, including her hair clip and her shoes." U C? Eva complimented the clip and shoez I borrowed fr. Liz. But I don't have poor fashion sense, yo! The clip & shoez were way cute! Then my mom told the audition mommies, "Unfortunately, my daughter is very poor at math and still closes her eyes to count percentages on her fingers. Your daughter must be willing to overlook that and say things like, 'Math is interesting this year, isn’t it.'" OK, poor in math? I'm not poor in math! "A" average, peeps! And I wasn't friggin' "counting percentages on my fingers." It's not like I was using my fingers 2 add stuff up, I was just using them 2 make a point, like ticking off items on a list. Yeah, it's not the cubest thing in the world 2 do, but it hardly makes me deficient. And the closing of my eyes, that was totally the inherited "smug, close-eyed Patterson" look, & Mom totally does that more than I do.

So here's the thing. I was starting 2 doubt Eva, cuz what if Mom had held 2 audition sessions, but the l8 1 was the only I'd heard abt? After all, Eva does wear her hair in a tidy little bun, and she does belong to a mom-approved "ethnic minority".

So thank God I left early & ran in2 Connie this morning. She was sort of frantically waving me over when she saw me, so I dashed 2 the fence. She's like, "I don't know what's gotten in2 yr mother this time! She bribed yr bus driver 2 let her watch the security tape from your morning ride yesterday. Then she saw that girl U were talking 2 & listened 2 what U 2 sed & did. She decided 'I can use this.' She said, 'Connie I set up some fake friend auditions 4 her. The way gossip travels in this town, it's sure 2 get back 2 her. & when she hears comments that make it sound as if this new girl is my perfect choice for her, it will undermine her confidence, plus make her feel stupid and hideously attired. Serve her right for the whole chicken-wrap debacle. By the way, I know she's doing well in math & that her fashion choices R no worse than what the others her age R wearing. But am I gonna tell her that? No, & I won't tell that 2 Social Worker Lake, either!' I just thought U shd know, April!"

So, yeah, Mom's totally lost it. I think Gerald's dad mite B on2 sumthin' w/that "narcissistic personality disorder" thing.

Apes