Borrowing stuff; ugly stick
Liz confronted me abt borrowing her stuff, even tho she already knew cuz she readz this blog & I did that whole st00pid "probability" thing abt whether she'd be mad. But I guess she'd either 4gotten or didn't realize how much/often I'd borrowed. Really, Liz, if U R gonna live sumwhere else, all "big girl", then don't B keeping all kinds of stuff @ home like U're still in uni. NEway, when I asked Liz whether she's mad, she sed, "I don't know. I have 2 think abt it." Which is kinda weird, doncha think? & I sed, "Can't we just fite like we used 2 & get it ovr w/?!" & just then, I had this odd, odd feeling I'd suddenly gotten s00per UGLY. So I ran in2 the bathroom 2 look in the mirror & I found I was rite! OMG, I looked like a mutant school marm w/rickets or sumthing! But rite B4 I had time 2 panic, I went back 2 normal that was freaky.
Not as freaky as Mike turning in2 a giant bagpipe-playing mushroom. He's lucky Howard & Becky saved him w/that anti-fungal stuff. Tho it's kinda sad every1 seemed 2 like him better as a 'shroom. Like, it improved his personality.
Well, that's all 4 now.
Apes
Not as freaky as Mike turning in2 a giant bagpipe-playing mushroom. He's lucky Howard & Becky saved him w/that anti-fungal stuff. Tho it's kinda sad every1 seemed 2 like him better as a 'shroom. Like, it improved his personality.
Well, that's all 4 now.
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 7:37 AM
36 Comments:
At 8:50 AM,
Anonymous said…
Is Michael Patterson your brother? He just ruined my life! I was working toward adding yet another doctorate to my name. I've been in grad school non-stop since '79, and I have doctorates in comparative lit, psychology, and electrical engineering. Someone talked me into letting Michael Patterson "edit" my dissertation in organic chemistry. I need to dig out my psych diss and examine my own head, because that was a terrible idea! My dissertation director called me into his office, where the rest of my committee was waiting for me, and asked me what was I thinking handing in this 340-page "chunk of non-sensical drivel". "Horton! Limericks? Alliterations? Comments on the complexities of relationships, dimly lit attics, and fuzzy bathrobes? And publisher's inboxes? What on earth does this have to do with organic chemistry?" So I had to 'fess up about bringing in a "professional editor", and they asked me how I managed to complete three other doctorates and yet not realize that hiring an editor for my diss was considered "academic dishonesty". Now the universities that conferred my other Ph.D.'s are launching investigations to determine whether my degrees can be considered "legitimate". Thanks a lot, Michael "Don't know my arse from my elbow" Patterson!
Horton Schmendrick, Ph.D, Ph.D., Ph.D., A.B.D.
At 9:08 AM,
April Patterson said…
no worriez, becks, i'm not wearing it 2day. 2day, i'm wearing this. i had 2 wear the other outfit 4 a lil while or mom wd totally pout. u guessed it--she totally bot is 4 xmas.
horton, yes, sadly, michael patterson is my brother. i m so sorry he worked his "magic" on u.
apes
At 9:36 AM,
Anonymous said…
Paul, I just had a conversation with Shiimsa, and I think I can tell from her meows that she would like a gift from you after all. Catnip gives her the munchies, and plus reading that book Mom recommended has me really worried about getting my furry daughter addicted. Anyway, Shiims fits very nicely in the 3-6 months size of baby clothes. *hint,hint*
Liz
At 9:38 AM,
Anonymous said…
Salutoriums!
tHis is Micahel Patterson. I dont quiet undersand waht this websight is, becous most of it seems to be wriiten in a forein langage. ((Slovenic??)) I got called today by some bigwogs from UToronto about dissaratuin editing weork? I asker them if they hesrd about my editing skulls and wanted to haire me, but they sayd :Googl "Horton Schmendrick": so I did and got thsi websight and I guwss its you're :bloog: Horton?
Did ya reccomend my work to them, ole buddy? Thankd! They saod they had more qiestins for me but they didnt want my rezumy. Dyou know what its about?
At 9:42 AM,
April Patterson said…
geez, mike, it's not like u nev. posted here b4! did being a mushroom affect yr memory?
yeh, i think horton is in big trub cuz u r not supposta use an editor for a dissertation.
apes
At 9:49 AM,
Anonymous said…
Thats phunny, sudunly I see my sistir's name! I wysh I coud undserand slovenic. Mushroom? I had sonme wierd dreams about mushrooms last night I tell you! Itd makea graet story but I cant rememnber what happendx very well.
At 12:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
Please let your sister know I did call Shiimsa on the phone. Shiimsa said (I think I have this right): "Meow?" when I greeted her. "Mrowrr!" when I reminded her who I was. “Mew!” when I mentioned a Christmas present. “Meeroowr” when I asked her if she liked pink with ribbons for clothing. I have no idea how to interpret cat. Any ideas?
I also called my parents to see when a good weekend would be for Elizabeth to be formally introduced to them. They said anytime would be good. They also asked if Elizabeth was coming back to White River after the Christmas break by helicopter. I did not know the answer to that question, so if you could ask her, I would appreciate it. She could meet my parents then, if she is already in White River.
I read your writings about Elizabeth’s reaction to you wearing her clothes. I must tell you Elizabeth has been trying an Ojibway meditative style to dealing with conflict. It involves saying, “I don't know. I have to think about it” instead of strangling the offender. Since she has been trying this meditative style, Elizabeth has reported to me she is must less inclined to want to throttle Jesse Mukwa. That is why her reaction was different from what you expected.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 12:25 PM,
howard said…
April,
I am so glad your fashion sense has improved from that oddly-coloured outfit you wore the other day. I know when I saw it, I got the distinct impression it would look better in black-and-white. I was going to say something, but I figured that since you get very few shopping trips that are not uniform-purchase related, you probably don’t get much of a choice.
Borrowing clothes from an older sister can be fun. I got to do it when I was much smaller with my sister, and I am kind of experiencing the older sister side with Becky now, who has looted through my closet for the items I have that can also fit her. You know, some of my more feminine sweaters that were designed to hug my body tightly, actually do not look bad on her, even though they are quite a bit looser. My miniskirt, cinched up, hits Becky below the knee. And naturally, some of my blouses have become nightgowns for Becky. I think it’s a good way to try new clothing styles without having to spend the money, and it’s sort of neat to see my girl clothes on an actual girl. I hope you and Elizabeth enjoy swapping clothes, now that you are the same size.
I got a call from your grandpa Jim and Iris to come to a party at the Milborough Seniors’ Living Palace after work today. He said, “And Coward, bring a date—a girl date. No guys.” So, I think I will take Becky with me over there. I could ask the girl my parents set me up with over the Christmas holiday, but I don’t want to give her any ideas. Becky will be a lot safer. Besides, I haven’t seen your grandpa since I was a dog, so it will be good to see how he is doing these days.
Howard K.
At 12:56 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i haven’t heard frum eva or alexandra yet, so i dunno how alexandra iz doing aftah last nite’s call. oh, i wanna say thanx 4 the cheese & crackers u gave me aftah i removed the barbed wire frum ur room. they were v.v. nicely arranged.
a sorta strange thing happened 2 me, i needta tell u ‘bout. i went 2 ur mom’z shop 2c if i cud find a book 2 take my mind off alexandra. ur mom wuz there & wen i came n2 the shop, she went up 2 me & sed, “hello senior citizen. wud u like a book recommendation?” i sed, “ok. do u have ne books that will take ur mind offa gf who iz travelin’ n the states?” she sed, “certainly. let’s go luk @our speshul shelf categories.” & she tuk me 2 a place where there were shelves w/headingz like "murder", "mayhem", "torrid romance", "crime", "psychodrama", & "family dysfunction". ur mom sed, “hmmm! i don’t c nething here 4 travelin’ gfs. mebbe u cud tell me sumthin’ ‘bout her.” i sed, “ok. her name iz alexandra love, she’s 14 & n the same class az ur daughter, april.” ur mom sed, “i unnerstand. i have a shelf just 4u.” then she tuk me to a speshul shelf w/the heading, “sexual perverts.” i sed, “wut? i’m not a sexual pervert.” ur mom sed, “a 65-year-old man w/a 14-year-old gf. soundz like a pervert 2 me.” i sed, “mrs. patterson. i’m jeremy jones. remembah me?” she luked @sorta funny & sed, “oh of course. jeremy. u were the nice boy who tried 2 kill april w/a bike & got ur just reward of b-ing hit by a car. i remembah u now. u luk a little different iz all. i suppose i shud be accustomed 2 it by now. april’s appearance changez almost daily & sumtymez wen i am luking @her. i know just wut kinda buk u need.” so she tuk me 2 a speshul shelf w/the headin’ “books 4 losers.” i sed, “mrs. patterson. i’m not a loser. i have a gf.” she sed, “oh very well. lemme recommend 2u, the great fuzz frenzy by janet stevens, which iz the story of a tennis ball that falls down a prairie-dog hole.”
so i got that buk & wuz readin’ az i left ur mom’z shop wen ur dad came by drivin’ a sporty warm station wagon. he stopped wen he saw me & sed, “ur readin’ a million little pieces by james frey? i sed no. he sed, “thass gud. i am so tired of that buk. do u wanna ride w/me? i am test drivin’ this station wagon & i need a 14-year-old’s opinion.” i sed, “y don’t u just get ur own 14-year-old april 2 ride w/u?” he sed, “2 dangerous. i hafta be able 2 return the car n 1 piece. hop in.” i sed ok & wen i got n, i immediately regretted it. i sed, “yru wearing nothin’ but ur jockeys & a t-shirt?” he sed, “have 2 check out this baby’s smooth rides, leather interiors, heaters that blast out the heat. u just can’t do that wearin’ lots of clothes. y don’t u strip down?” i sed no thanx 2 the stripping, but it wuz blazin’ hot n the car & i started sweatin’. then this beeper went off & ur dad did a u-turn & drove like mad 2 ur house. he sed, “w8 here. the dirt & stain quota sensor 4 my shop just went off & i hafta correct the %.” so i sat there 4 awhile ‘till i sed, “wut am i doin’ n here?” & got out. the great fuzz frenzy isn’t 2 bad a buk. it duzn’t remind me of alexandra @all.
At 2:02 PM,
April Patterson said…
howard, i know what u mean abt the colourz. i m starting 2 think i shd only wear, like, black, white, & grey. mayB other colourz just on sundays?
jeremy, i m surprised my mom went ahead w/those shelf labels. i thot she was jokin' abt them in her letter.
glad u escaped fr. my dad. freak!
apes
At 3:09 PM,
Anonymous said…
Boozhoo, Paul!
I can't even describe how happy I am to read about your conversation with Shiimsa. From what you transcribed of the conversation, it is clear she likes you very much and is excited about receiving a Christmas present from you. But for us to understand what Shiims meant by “meeroowr”, I need you to tell me whether her voice rose or fell on the "oowr" part. If it rose, she was telling you she thinks pink with ribbons would be a lovely complement to her grey fur. If it fell, she was changing the subject and telling you about bird carcasses. Sometimes, she abruptly changes the subject. It's bad manners, but we are working on that.
Hope that helps! Thanks for taking such an interest in my cat. It means a lot to both of us.
Liz
At 5:06 PM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
Kaa-mesnin gwanaaj oshki-ikwe! (I miss you, beautiful one)!
“Meeroowr”? I couldn’t remember whether or not Shiimsa’s voice rose or fell on the "oowr" part. So I had to call her again. Gary told me I was pussy-whipped, when I called the second time. I told him learning to interpret Shiimsa was important, so that I could pursue my partnership with you fully, and was worth any whipping Shiimsa may deliver.
This time Shiimsa said, "Meow?" when I greeted her. "Muwrrr!" when I told her my name. Then when I asked her about the pink with ribbons for clothing she didn’t say “Meeroowr” at all. She said, “Mee…ack….ack…ack…” and then she coughed up a hairball. What does that mean? Pink with ribbons or should I go for clothing a little hairier and slimier?
Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
Constable Paul Wright
At 5:11 PM,
howard said…
April,
Becky and I have arrived at your grandpa Jim and Iris’ place for their party. There are mainly older couples here. I recognize Frank and May and a few others. They have some cards and a table out for games. I asked if we were playing cribbage or Scrabble, but Iris just giggled and said we were playing poker tonight, but not for money. Becky thinks it will be boring, so I have promised that we will leave after we play a few hands to be polite.
Howard K.
At 5:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
Paul, it means so much to me that you are going to so much trouble to find out about Shiimsa's preferences. No matter what Gary says!
"Muwrrr!" is a very friendly greeting, Paul. Apparently, Shiims already thinks of you as family. I can't tell you how happy this makes me! As for that "Mee-ack-ack-ack", I think she was trying to say "Meeroowr", but the hairball prevented her. I have to talk to Viv about keeping up with the poor furry-girl's hairball meds.
I miss you, too, Paul. I can hardly wait unti we can see each other again!
Liz
At 5:24 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, got my marks frum last year. they were pretty gud, which iz gud, cuz i wuz afraid spendin’ all that tyme w/rebeccah’z parties wud give me trubble. i h8 2 say it, but i think goin’ 2 ur bro’s lecture that tyme rilly helped me. he iz wut i wud call a cautionary xxample. plus, alexandra & i did a lot of studyin’ wen we were watchin’ hockey last year. it rilly helps wen a rilly pretty girl like alexandra wunts 2 study w/u. i miss alexandra. it won’t b the same watchin’ hockey w/o her 2nite. have u heard nething frum her or eva?
At 5:29 PM,
April Patterson said…
well, becky & howard, thank god grampa jim wrote, "No one ever mentions strip poker anymore. At our age, our hearts couldn't stand the shock. Besides, it takes me ten minutes just to undo my shirt." cuz, c, they do NOT play strip poker. NOT! thank god & all that is holy.
hm, yeah, i guess u r rite abt my skin tone, becks.
that's gd news jeremy. i did get a short lil note fr. alex & eva saying they went 2 the state museum in albany. it soundz pretty cube!
apes
At 5:36 PM,
howard said…
April,
Your rabbit, Butterscotch I think is the name, is over at your grandpa Jim’s and Iris’. Iris seems to really like the bunny and is hugging it a lot, particularly after it has been chewing on electrical cords. She says there is something magical about the smell and feel of slightly buzzed bunny. Iris seems a little off to me tonight for some reason. She keeps talking about a horse ride she took around her son’s ranch. She says, “I ached pretty badly the next day but it was worth it to get back into the saddle.” Then May started talking about the 2 of them riding their old war horses tonight. Becky says she is not doing any horse riding with these old people. I told her we would definitely leave, if any of them suggested going to a stable.
Howard K.
At 5:45 PM,
howard said…
April,
Uh, oh trouble. Becky just cleaned out the old people of their money. Now, instead of betting a chip, May just used her support hose, and Iris just called her with a slipper. Grandpa Jim starting saying, “My heart. My heart.” Then he raised her with some suspenders.
Howard K.
At 5:57 PM,
howard said…
April,
We have escaped, although Becky is a little ticked off at my prudishness. Iris had tossed in a heart-shaped necklace that Becky wanted. But I was able to drag her out of there during the ten minutes it was taking Grandpa Jim to undo his shirt. She keeps saying, “I had a full house. I could have taken that necklace.” Well, off to home for dinner and to study up on some geometry.
Howard K.
At 6:05 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, alex & eva @ the st8 museum n albany. i'm glad u heard frum them. me. i think i'm gonna drown my sorrows w/md nrg drink.
oh, i saw ur sis-in-law changing her shoez outside that pharmacy where she works. pointy tall boots with stiletto heelz. she seemed 2b n a hurry.
At 6:17 PM,
April Patterson said…
becks, really it's best howard got u out when he did. that was not going 2 b a pretty site.
jeremy, alex asked me 2 tell u she really misses u. eva spent, like, 15 minutes sitting in the nyc subway car that they've got @ that museum. alex sed she was all, "al! i'm in a realy nyc subway car!"
apes
At 6:18 PM,
howard said…
April,
About what your Grandpa Jim wrote in his monthly letter with respect to strip poker, after tonight I suspect somebody edited that letter (or just flat out wrote a lie to disguise what was actually going on.)
We are back at our apartment and Becky is studying math while I make dinner. You are welcome to come over to study too, if you want, but it will make for a boring evening. Still, if you are interested, I will make up a plate for you.
Howard K.
At 6:23 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i'm glad alexandra asked u2 tell me she missed me. i am well-stocked w/md nrg drink now. ur welcome 2 watch hockey w/me if u want. if u do, then mebbe, wen alexandra calls u 2 tell u 'bout the xxcitin' thingz goin' on n her life w/u & only u, u cud hand the fone ovah 2 me 4 a bit. i miss alexandra.
At 6:26 PM,
April Patterson said…
jeremy, i really, really need 2 get out of the house. i'll b ovr in a lil bit.
apes
At 6:28 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, ok. i'll b w8ing. b sure 2 bring ur fone.
At 6:31 PM,
April Patterson said…
got it! i'm on my way.
apes
At 6:36 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, ok. we have our choice of atlanta @carolina, florida @ny islanderz or ottawa @washington all startin’ @7. ne preferences?
At 6:38 PM,
April Patterson said…
alex, jeremy & i decided 2 watch florida/islanders in honour of nys & u, even tho u like the rangerz better.
apes
At 6:57 PM,
Anonymous said…
alexandra, if u take tyme frum ur vacation 2 read april’s real blog, we will b watchin’ florida/islanders, assumin’ i can get april 2 stop askin’ me questions ‘bout whether or not i think there iz a distance growing between her & geranium. i think she wunts 2 spend sum tyme w/sumbody cuz she hazn’t found gerald on-line or newhere else 2day. she’z afraid he haz gotten addicted 2 readin’ femslash, which knowin’ gerund iz v.v. possible. i hope watchin’ the game will snap her outa it. i know watchin’ hockey usually puts u n a gud mood.
At 7:38 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dearest April May-rion flower,
I am sorry that I have not been posting to your blog much lately. I have been having some trouble with my athletic endevours. About a month ago, I suddenly found that my vim and vigor and verve--you know, the things that give me the "winning edge" in the rink and on the court--were flagging. In other words, I was giving less than 110%, which both my coaches say is a no-no.
So I have been on a strict training regime ever since. The holiday schedule looks like this:
5:30: wake up, put on track suit
5:30-7: run on treadmill
7: healthy breakfast of 3 eggs scrambled, 2 pieces whole grain toast, 1 large grapefruit, 2 cups milk, 8 strips lean turkey bacon, 1 cup bran flakes, 2 cups whole fruit sugarless smoothie, 1 cup prune juice.
7:15-7:25: shower, dress
7:25-8: bathroom time
8-9: special tutoring session called "the theory of hockey: from frank nighbor to gordie howe"
9-10: calisthenics and isometrics
10-12: stick drills and scrimmage at the rink
12-12:30: healthy lunch consisting of: one large roasted chicken, 2 cups couscous, 1 cup steamed broccoli, 1 cup boiled carrots, 2 cups milk, 3 apples, 1 large bowl of mixed green salad w/ balsamic vinaigrette, 2 whole grain dinner rolls, 4 cups fat-free protein shake.
12:30-12:40: drive home
12:40-1: bathroom time
1-2: special tutoring session on "modern basketball greats: the techniques of the best players from wilt chamberlain to kobe bryant (on-court techniques, that is)"
2-4: one-on-one with drew fontaine at the high school gym
4: high-energy snack consisting of 2 cups mixed nuts, 4 cups superfood smoothie with blueberries, oranges, pumpkin, yogurt, and soy milk, and 3 protein bars
4:15-4:30: bathroom time
4:30-7: weightlifting
7-7:30: all natural dinner consisting of 4 salmon steaks, 2 cups black beans, 5 cups spinach salad with tomatoes, 1 gallon green tea, and a special smoothie filled with 18 all-natural herbs essential for good health and regularity.
7:30-8: bathroom time
8-9: required pornography reading
9-10: required therapy session with dr. aloysius delaney forsythe, child psychologist extraordinaire
10-10:30: therapeutic muscle massage by my rolfer, olaf heinrikssen
10:30-11:15: tub time with rubber ducky!
11:15-11:45: take vitamins w/ dad supervising me in his study
11:45-12: bathroom time
12: lights out
As you have probably surmised, I am posting this from the bathroom, which is the the only time I have to myself these days. I look forward to seeing you when school recommences.
Sincerely yours, Gerald
At 7:45 PM,
April Patterson said…
alex, i apologized 4 asking jeremy all thoze questions & m now ready 2 watch quietly.
ger, wow, what a sked! school will b, like, relaxing 4 u in comparison.
becks, that's a tasty dinner. we've had it @ my house. mom was away when we did.
apes
At 7:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
alexandra, my mom just came n2 the room & sed 2 me, "jeremy ru cheatin' on alexandra w/april? cuz if u were that wudn't b 2 bad. aftah all i can usually unnerstand wut april sez." i sed "no. april is just watchin' hockey w/me so she can take her mind off her man trubbles. her bf iz 2 bizzy w/athletic trainin' 2 spend tyme w/her" my mom sed then, "man trubbles. well then. tell me all 'bout it april. i know all 'bout men b-ing 2 bizzy 2 live up 2 their obligations." well, april gave me an evil luk & kinda hit me @that point, & then so did my mom & she sed, "jeremy. stop b-ing such a self-involved man." wuzn't sure how 2 answer that 1, so i decided 2 shut up & watch hockey frum the othah side of the room.
At 8:28 PM,
April Patterson said…
sorry abt hitting u, jeremy. i guess i'm a bit jumpy 2nite!
apes
At 9:10 PM,
April Patterson said…
wow, alex, so weird that yr dad & unk were saying thingz that were, like, almost exactly the same as stuff my dad sed in his jan. letter. such a bizarre coinkydink. mayB our dadz need 2 hang out when u guyz get back.
hope u weren't as hung over as liz was on new years' day!
apes
At 1:18 AM,
Anonymous said…
alexandra, sorry u got a hangover. thoze r not ne fun. i hope ur not hanging out w/2 many hockey players n saunas. the only hockey player i wunt 2 hang out w/u n a sauna iz me, & i don’t rilly play hockey. i hope u come back 2c the milton icehawks nstead of stayin’ 2c rpi.
eva, i hope u have a lot of fun like u did @ the state museum 2day, nstead of ur not az fun othah dayz. i miss alexandra. april iz cube 2 hang out w/& watch hockey but it iz not the same az watchin’ w/alexandra.
aftah april & i watched the islanders beat florida, we switched ovah 2 the vancouver / dallas game. then there wuz this odd sound coming frum outside ovah @the neighbours. i opened the door 2c wut it wuz & this herd of stampeding electrified rodents ran n2 the house & started goin’ @the md nrg drink & the electrical cords n the house. my mom & april both started shriekin’ & jumped up on2 the chesterfield. i went n2 the closet 2 get a broom 2 do sum rodent-beating. only problem wuz the rodents were sumhow electrically charged, so wenever i got near them i got a shock. evn, wut hair i have left wuz standin’ str8 up, i started whackin’ away @the rodents ‘till april started yellin’ 4 me 2 stop. she had spotted her own rodent, butterscotch, n w/the othah rodents & she didn’t want me 2 hurt it…her. so i hadta get a rubber sheet (don’t ask y we have thoze) & grab butterscotch up 2 hand 2 april. course while i am doing this, the othah rodents chewed thru the electrical cord on the tv & i don’t get 2c the vancouver / dallas game. plus, the rodents drank all of my md nrg drink. this pissed me off so i start beatin’ @the rodents w/the broom & they all ran frum the house.
april wuz all upset w/butterscotch. she sed, “gangs. buttsy. has it come 2 gangs? we have 2 figger out how 2 stop u frum doin’ this again, cuz it's no joke. my mom & dad will give u away, if this duzn’t stop.” my mom told me 2 walk april home & make sure her rodent didn’t get loose & she whispered 2 me, “& if sumthin’ romantic happens, then thass ok 2.” my mom duz not get it. i don’t rilly care if alexandra duzn’t speak proper english. she’z the 1 i wunt 2b my gf. i miss u eva, but i do miss alexandra more. hope u come home soon.
At 3:25 AM,
Anonymous said…
Dear Jeremy,
It's a good thing for you that you are not interested in my April May-rion flower. Because, if you were to make advances on her, or to attempt to court her, I would be forced to call you out. And a withered, prematurely aged boy like you would be no match for a young man in his prime, with 37 essential vitamins and minerals coursing through his veins.
Just so you know.
Gerald Forsythe
(Don't tell my coaches that I was up past lights out!)
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