Dee doesn't understand kids!
This is kinda random, but I just got an e-mail from Dee: baby jail the playpen, but that one does. Go figure. Kids just do the darndest things & there's no xplaining it." Xcept I don't think it's that hard to understand a one-year-old not wanting 2 B, like, cooped up like that. They're alwayz dumping Robin in that thing, y'know? & w/Merrie, it's gotta B 1 of those sibling rivalry thingz, like she rememberz bein' the baby & all. Like, geez, is it that hard?
So, Liz, I'm glad Vivian gave U thoze books 2 help U understand Shiimsa. I kinda cd have told U Mom's techniques weren't, like, NEthing 2 copy w/the pets. But it helps 2 have a book, eh?
Howard, aw, man, I can't believe Dennis's parents did U like that. & how U didn't take offence 4 1 insult after another like that, until they were, like, getting Dennis 2 promise not 2 choose U. That is so harsh! Dunc & I R gonna B @ Horny Tim's @ noon if U wanna join us & take yr mind off this stuff.
Erg, so now that I'm dun w/my English hwork, Mom's totally nagging me 2 get my Feb letter written, so she can "proof" it. & y'know Mom spells "proof" E-D-I-T. Bleah. How can Jan B almost over already?
Apes
'April'!This e-mail gave me a weird little chill, and I realized it was cuz this totally sounded like sumthin' Mom would say. Like, "Oh, this one doesn't like
Just 'wait' until you have 'kids'! Good 'luck' figuring them 'out' is all I can say!
Get this, I'd just put 'Robin' in his 'playpen', & he started to bawl. 'Merrie' ran up to the playpen and pushed both hands 'against' it. Then *she* started to bawl, pointing at Robin. I picked him up, which stopped him from his crying. Merrie peered at me for just a moment, leaning both hands on the top of the playpen, and 'then', she started bawling again & pointing at the playpen. I was baffled, 'April', completely baffled. Then I thought I'd try something really 'out there'. I put *Merrie* in the playpen & Robin on the floor next to it. And guess what? They were as happy as 'pigs' in 'mud'. I sat back, a steaming cup of 'coffee' on the kitchen table, thinking, "Just when you think you understand kids..., you discover you don't."
'Dee'
So, Liz, I'm glad Vivian gave U thoze books 2 help U understand Shiimsa. I kinda cd have told U Mom's techniques weren't, like, NEthing 2 copy w/the pets. But it helps 2 have a book, eh?
Howard, aw, man, I can't believe Dennis's parents did U like that. & how U didn't take offence 4 1 insult after another like that, until they were, like, getting Dennis 2 promise not 2 choose U. That is so harsh! Dunc & I R gonna B @ Horny Tim's @ noon if U wanna join us & take yr mind off this stuff.
Erg, so now that I'm dun w/my English hwork, Mom's totally nagging me 2 get my Feb letter written, so she can "proof" it. & y'know Mom spells "proof" E-D-I-T. Bleah. How can Jan B almost over already?
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 9:59 AM
38 Comments:
At 1:02 PM,
April Patterson said…
lol, i just got a funny txt from liz. she sez that after she red my blog entry 4 2day, she called up dee & suggested dee oughta c if there's a toddlers for dummies book, cuz it wd b a big help. dee got huffy & hung up on liz.
apes
At 1:26 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dear Paul and friends,
I have spent the whole morning reading Cats For Dummies. Of course, I have read only a small part of the book so far, but what I am learning is very interesting. Did you know that it's normal for a cat to have a willful, independent personality? All this time I've been thinking Shiimsa must be "broken" in some way because she didn't act like a dog. Wow. Now I know.
Anyway, when I'd finished the first chapter, I realized three hours had gone by! I needed a little break so I turned on the television. I was very surprised and pleased to find that there was a show on with an animal behaviorist. She said that pets may become very jealous of their owners' new romantic partners. She said the way to overcome this is to let the pet get to know the romantic partner slowly. In fact, they should have their own "courtship" before the romantic relationship between the owner and her desired person becomes too serious.
I am afraid that Paul and I have made a dreadful mistake by becoming serious hiking partners before Shiimsa and Paul could properly fall in love. Therefore, there will be no more hiking until Shiimsa says it's OK.
Sorry Paul. I know how much you like to hike. I like to hike too. You're a pretty good hiking partner, even though I have never quite reached the summit with you. That is normal though, since I never got to the summit with any other hiking partner. I think maybe my equipment is broken. At any rate, hiking with you is still quite enjoyable, and I will miss it. The animal behaviorist says it may take months for Shiimsa to like you and accept our relationship.
Sincerely yours, Liz
At 3:01 PM,
howard said…
April,
Sorry I could not make the noon date, but thank you for the invitation. I have been too busy packing for my move to Becky’s house tomorrow. I do have time to tell you about a strange thing that happened to my aunt Winnie, you know the aunt that lives just below your brother and his family. Well, my aunt Winnie called up and one of the things she told me was a story about your brother’s wife. It went like this.
My aunt Winnie gets her mail and finds that some of it has been delivered to the wrong address. She got some mail that was supposed to have gone to your brother. So, she took the mail up to your brother’s apartment and his wife answered the door. My aunt Winnie says, “We got some of your mail.” Then your brother’s wife said, “Oh. We got some of your mail too. I’ll go get it.” My aunt Winnie of course is thinking to herself that the height of being nonconfrontational is to be too afraid to give your neighbour their mail, when she spots your niece and nephew in the room. The older niece is in a playpen and the younger nephew is out of the playpen. While she was waiting, my aunt Winnie went over to the niece and asked her why she was in the playpen, expecting some answer like, “It’s better.” or“I like it.” Instead the niece says, “My mommy is drinking coffee.” My aunt Winnie was floored by this answer and asked, “Why do you have to be in the playpen when your mommy is drinking coffee?” The niece replied, “I have to get off the coffee. When mommy makes it I cry to put me in the playpen. I don’t drink coffee if I am in here.” My aunt Winnie said, “That’s a remarkable display of self-discipline.” The niece replied, “Thank you.”
Then the mother returned with the mail, gave it to my aunt Winnie and said, “We opened it by accident, because we thought it was ours. That’s why it was all opened.” My aunt Winnie said, “Perfectly all right, as long as it’s all there. Is it all there?” The mother said, “Just a minute.” and left the room. The little girl in the playpen said to my aunt Winnie, “If I go to your place and ask for coffee, don’t give it to me. Even if I cry. Don’t give me any more coffee.” My aunt Winnie said, “All right little girl.”
Then the mother returned with a few more pieces of mail and said, “We wrote on this mail by accident, because we thought it was ours. That’s why we wrote on it.” My aunt Winnie said, “Perfectly all right, as long as it’s all there. Is it all there?” The mother said, “Just a minute.” and left the room. The little girl in the playpen said to my aunt Winnie, “If I go to your place and ask for coffee for my brother, don’t give it to him. Even if he cries. Don’t give him any coffee.” My aunt Winnie said, “All right little girl.”
Then the mother returned with a few more pieces of mail and said, “This mail was cut up into paper dolls and the word ‘Kelpfroths’ cut into it, and those marks that look like darts were thrown into them was done by accident, because we thought it was ours. That’s why we cut it up.” My aunt Winnie said, “Perfectly all right, as long as it’s all there. Is it all there?” The mother said, “Yes. That’s it.” My aunt Winnie said, “All right then.” She thinks there is more mail missing, but she is afraid to ask about it.
I thought that story was interesting. Back to packing.
Howard K.
At 3:13 PM,
April Patterson said…
yeh, so becks knows what i'm saying abt "baby jail". poor kidz.
speaking of which, i feel bad 4 cameron's relliez, mary & batman. mayb they'll b in, like, a support group w/merrie & robin sumday.
apes
At 3:15 PM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
Kaa-mesnin gwanaaj oshki-ikwe! (I miss you, beautiful one)!
I am disappointed that there will be no more hiking until Shiimsa says it’s OK. I thought I was getting along with Shiimsa during my Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) visits. My mother says, “zaagi` ikwezens zaagi` bami`aagaans” (love a girl, love her pet). So during my next visit to Mtigwaki (Land of Trees), I am prepared to woo Shiimsa as she has never been wooed before. Watch out Elizabeth, I am going to sweep Shiimsa off her feet with wooing, so she doesn’t land on them when she comes down. I will show her I am ready to pursue this partnership fully. She will see it and believe it. I have already checked out of the Otter County library the book How to Stroke her Pussy whose title promises to be a book about wooing the cats of women. I will be ready and willing to go, when I am next in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees).
Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
Constable Paul Wright
At 3:16 PM,
April Patterson said…
yeh, v. weird story, howard. but def. like merrie is more mature than her parents r. poor merrie!
apes
At 4:23 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dearest Paul,
Shiimsa says to tell you that she is looking forward to your wooing. She has one concern, however. She heard about the book you got, and is now worried that you might be planning to take her hiking. I assured her that this is not the case, but you should probably call her later tonight and explain that you know this is a platonic courtship.
With very much like for you, Liz
At 4:48 PM,
April Patterson said…
lol, eva! yeah, i think i know what u mean abt "interesting", eh?
paul, i think becks is rite abt that book. sorry i didn't c yr post--i swear it wasn't there when i last posted. (confused)
apes
At 4:56 PM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
Kaa-mesnin gwanaaj oshki-ikwe! (I miss you, beautiful one)!
I am confused by Shiimsa’s and others’ (Becky, Alex and your sister’s) comments about the book I borrowed from the Otter County library, How to Stroke her Pussy. There is a nice picture of a woman in a cat costume on the cover. She is obviously a cat owner.
I will write you an excerpt from the book, so Shiimsa will know it is not a book on hiking:
When stroking her pussy, be very careful not to be too rough or to get her fur tangled in your fingers. That will distract her pussy from the stroking. Place your fingers through the fur and lightly onto the flesh and move them in an easy, circular motion. If she starts purring, then you know you have pleased the pussy. Next, try decreasing or increasing the speed of your fingers and listen carefully to the purring. If it gets louder, then that is a sign you are making the correct motion with the pussy and should continue. If it gets softer, then you should do the opposite of the change that you made. If the purring completely ceases, then you also need to stop. That may be a sign that the pussy is tired of being stroked and is ready to move onto other things.
As you tell, it is not a book on hiking. Please let Shiimsa know that she is going to be in for a good petting during my next visit to Mtigwaki (Land of Trees).
Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
Constable Paul Wright
At 5:05 PM,
April Patterson said…
mayB u shd ditch ne book that doesn't call a cat a cat, paul. no1 uses that other word 2 mean "cat" nemore. the peeps who usta use it that way r dead by now.
apes
At 5:09 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dearest Paul,
I am almost certain my sister is right. That is not a book about petting cats. But save it anyway. We might be able to use it to fix my hiking equipment.
With a tremendous amount of liketude for you, Liz
At 5:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dear Paul,
Thank you very, very much for posting that excerpt from your book, How to Stroke Her Pussy. I enjoyed it a great deal. In fact, I enjoyed it three times since you posted it, and I plan to enjoy it some more later on tonight.
Would you mind posting the whole text of the book? I know a certain pussy I would like to please, if she ever lets me get past second base.
With sincere thanks, Gerald
At 5:25 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dearest Paul,
After I read your last post to her, Shiimsa has completely disappeared. I am looking for her now. I think what you wrote upset her.
With a heart full of like, Liz
At 5:41 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dear Paul and friends,
I have turned my apartment inside-out looking for Shiimsa. She is nowhere to be found! I am going to start looking around the yard for her. I hope she hasn't gone far.
Liz
At 5:46 PM,
Anonymous said…
Paul, April, and friends--
I did not find Shiimsa in the yard. When I came back inside, I noticed that the light was blinking on my answering machine. I pressed "play" and found that there was a message for me from Shiimsa. She must have pressed the "memo" button. The message is very long, and I am having trouble translating it. I am going to consult Cats For Dummies right now. I will let you know what I find out.
Liz
At 5:47 PM,
Anonymous said…
Gerald,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I have not written to you before. It is good to correspond with a fellow cat lover. As for your request, I really cannot put the whole book into Elizabeth’s sisters’ blog. That would violate copyright laws. I would recommend you check it out of the Milborough library if you want to read the whole thing. Also, I strongly recommend that you never, ever play baseball with a cat. Ping-pong or chasing a cat toy is much better choice of sports.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 5:48 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hello April, Elizabeth, and everyone else! I cannot emphasize enough as a cat owner the importance of keeping close tabs on your pets. Otherwise they could go missing and you could be out $3400 for a feline gallbladder operation, dashing any hopes you had for a Parisian vacation. But I'm not bitter.
Cathy, if you're reading this, we've got to get together for some more sorbet smoothies!
Regards,
Sally Forth
At 5:52 PM,
Anonymous said…
I have translated Shiimsa's message. I don't think I've been this upset ever since I had to smash Eric's face in with a frying pan.
Shiimsa has run away from home!
This is what the message said:
I am not going to sit around this dump, just waiting for that hiking pervert with a badge to come and rape me! His depraved ramblings about pussies strike fear into my heart. I think he believes that, when wooing a cat, there is hiking involved. That's sick and demented. I'm going to go find myself a new home, where I won't have to worry that I might be violated in my sleep, or--God forbid--that I might be forced to give birth to a litter of half-cat, half-Mountie mutant kittens.
I am going to go knock on doors now, to see if Shiimsa has already adopted a new family. Paul, I hope you will call some of your law enforcement friends to get me some help in looking for her. This is, after all, your fault.
With a great deal of irritation, Liz
At 6:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
I am so sorry for whatever part of my writings disturbed Shiimsa. I knew I should have checked out those other books I saw in the Otter Country library instead of How to Stroke her Pussy : Heavy Petting, How Much is too Much? and How to Get Your Hands on the Hidden Pussy. If I quoted from them, Shiimsa would not have feared I would violate her.
I have called my friends in animal control in Mtigwaki and Spruce Narrows to keep their eyes out for Shiimsa. I told them if they find her, they should not pick her up by the tail area, because she might take that as an unwanted trangression.
Zegendam (Nervous)
Constable Paul Wright
At 6:03 PM,
Anonymous said…
Paul! You need to get a clue! All of those books are filthy sex manuals! They are NOT about cats!
Sheesh, and I thought I was naive!!
Liz
P.S.--No luck yet.
At 6:08 PM,
Anne said…
Yeah Paul, u should totally b careful when dealing w/cats! Marjee told me about the time Maynard demanded that Ted Nugent b summoned 2 his bedside b/c he contracted a case of cat scratch fever. No fooling.
Vicks
At 6:09 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, ur sis' "like friend" (not bf) iz seriously whacked. it's obvious your sis can make up nething she wunts 'bout wut her cat sez 2 get her "like friend" 2 do wutever she wunts him 2 do. she prolly haz the cat hidden away till her "like friend" agreez 2 do wutevah she wunts. i remembah all the stuff i did 4 sum1 who used 2 say they "liked" me, but didn't luv me. i wuz seriously whacked 4 b-lievin' it.
i finally finished my english homework. 38 freakin' pages of report done, done, done. mom sez i can take rebeccah 2 a movie, if she wunts 2 go.
At 6:13 PM,
Anonymous said…
Jeremy Jones, you should be ashamed of yourself, accusing me of using poor little Shiimsa to manipulate Paul.
After all, what has come of this whole fiasco with Shiimsa? Only that I have first lost the pleasure of hiking with Paul, and second that I have lost my cat! These were not things I wanted!
I have to go rejoin the search party.
Distressed and angry, Liz
At 6:20 PM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
Please let me know as soon as you find Shiimsa. I understand that you are under a lot of stress right now. I know my sweet girl would never call herself naïve, under normal circumstances.
You wrote, “All of those books are filthy sex manuals! They are NOT about cats!” I do not think that is true. The Otter County library does not allow people to check out sex manuals. Only a government or library official can check those out. I looked through the book, and there were pictures of cats all through the book, most were very close up, so that fur and the hand stroking the fur were the only things visible. There were no pictures of any sex, cat, human or any other kind of animal.
Zegendam (Nervous)
Constable Paul Wright
At 6:28 PM,
Anonymous said…
rebeccah, i dunno wut ur talkin' 'bout. it wuz april's sis who posted that thing 'bout "using." not me. do u wanna c a movie or not? u can pick. we can evn c a chick flick. i just needta get outa the house cuz i've been here 2 dayz runnin' w/the homework.
At 6:33 PM,
Anonymous said…
Paul, it is useless for me to try to make you see reason on the issue of those awful books. Needless to say, I do not want to hear anything else about How to Stroke Her Pussy or any other book with the word "pussy" in the title.
I found Shiimsa at Jesse Mukwa's house. They were watching cartoons together, and Jesse was feeding Shiimsa mini-marshmallows. I was very angry with Jesse for doing this, as I explained to him that Shiimsa is sure to get sick later tonight. She has a very sensitive stomach.
Then Jesse told me he was very angry with me. He says that pet owners who expose their pets to perverts can have them taken away by the tribal version of the SPCA.
I brought Shiimsa home, and we had a long talk. I explained to her that you are confused about what you are saying. She is trying to believe this, but it is difficult for her to accept that you do not know the difference between a sex manual and a pet care manual. Then Shiimsa threw up little marshmallow bits on my bedspread. Shiimsa and I are not speaking right now. She is doing time in the naughty corner, and I am spot-treating my quilt.
Paul, if you want to look for more books about how to properly interact with a cat, only look for them in the Pets aisle at the bookstore. Our relationship can't survive any more misunderstandings involving Shiimsa. I am her guardian and I cannot allow her to be traumatized like this.
Liz
At 6:50 PM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
I am so glad you found Shiimsa. I have called my friends in animal control to let them know she is all right and they can discontinue the cat-hunt. I will not use the “P” word around Shiimsa, since you say she is sensitive about it. I spoke with my partner about it. She tells me that the “P” word is commonly used with writers from England to discuss cats, and nobody thinks they are perverted. Not too many people anyway. My nindede (father) has some prejudices from his Irish background.
Shiimsa may not be well-traveled enough to know that. I will avoid presenting any cat-related materials to her from England until we have taken some trips together and she is a more cosmopolitan cat. I have to remember that she is still a very young cat. Please let me know which terms are acceptable to her from this list, so I do not make an error again and jeopardize our relationship: cat, feline, grimalkin, kitten, kitty, malkin, mouser.
Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
Constable Paul Wright
At 6:52 PM,
Anonymous said…
rebeccah, i am asking u2 the movies, not alexandra. do u wanna go or not?
At 7:15 PM,
Anonymous said…
Paul--
All the terms you listed are fine.
Question: did the How to Stroke Her Pussy book actually come from England? Check where it was published and get back to me.
Liz
At 7:15 PM,
April Patterson said…
paul, u do know the meaning 4 the "p" word the rest of us are thinking of, don't u? u can't not, can u?
apes
At 12:01 AM,
Anonymous said…
rebeccah, i am so sorry 2 take so long getting’ back 2u. this iz the 1st chance i have had 2 post 2u since ur last post.
aftah ur last message, my mom sed 2 me, “iz she goin’ or not?” i sed, “she sez she will go if i tell her this thing i rote wuzn't abt her (meaning u).” my mom sez, “wut thing?” so i show it 2 my mom & she sez, “good god. ur obviously talkin’ ‘bout that nutcase tangi origami. she wuz the only 1 of ur ex-gf’s who whacked u.” i sed, “i gotta rite rebeccah & give her the answer so she can decide if she’z gonna go.” my mom sez, “wut? how hard a question iz thiz? go 2 the moviez or not? i can’t w8 ‘round all day 4 ur gf 2 decide if she’z gonna go & bring up every little thing u sed she duzn’t like & hold it ovah ur head az a condition 4 goin’. it’s a skool nite, we gotta go b4 it’s 2 l8. we’re goin’ now! & ur gf iz just outa luck. next tyme i give u an invite 4 ur gf, she will learn 2 give a timely answer.”
so, mom iz draggin’ me out the door & i sed, “mom. rebeccah sed she wud go, if i tell ‘bout this thing i rote. gimme a chance 2 rite back.” my mom sed, “lemme tell u sumthing jeremy ‘bout emotional blackmail. it sucks & once it works, they will just keep doin’ it. 1st u give her 1 answer. then she bringz up sumthing else 4u2 answer. b-lieve me, it iz 1 of the oldest tricks around. we’re leavin’ now. i decided we’re gonna c casanova. i wanna c heath ledger naked kissing girlz & not boyz. ur gf iz no longa nvited.” i sed, “friend w/benefits. not gf.” well that wuz a st00pid thing 2 say, cuz then i got a lecture all the way 2 the theatre ‘bout how i shud b w/a decisive girl & how i shud stay far away frum girlz who r constantly holding back & can’t commit 2 actually having’ a relationship.” i have heard this lecture so many tymez b4. of course she’s usually talkin’ ‘bout my dad & how i shudn’t b like him wen she duz it. neway, casanova wuz a torture 2 watch. my mom agreed. “not nearly enuff naked heath ledger.”
so, i’m sorry ‘bout not getting’ back 2u ‘bout it ‘till now. mebbe we can do sumthing next weekend.
At 12:17 AM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
I am at work, but we are taking a break from patrolling. I read your writing and your unusual question about the publisher for How to Stroke Her Pussy.
On the inside of the book it says:
Dorling Kindersley Limited
The Penguin Group (UK)
80 Strand
London
WC2R 0RL
Please pass this on to Shiimsa.
Constable Paul Wright
At 12:32 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I am taking a break from patrolling. I see you have an unusual question for me. Do I know the meaning for the "P" word the rest of us are thinking of? I am not good at mind-reading, considering my disaster with Shiimsa today. According to my dictionary, the “P” word could mean:
1. A cat.
2. A fuzzy catkin, especially of the “P” willow.
3. The vulva.
4. Sexual intercourse with a woman.
5. A disparaging term for a woman.
6. A man regarded as weak, timid, or unmanly.
From what I have read from your writings, I would guess that definition #2 is the one you are thinking. Since your sister referred to the book as a “filthy sex manual”, I think she would choose something in definitions #3-5. As near as I can tell from what I have read of your friend Gerald, he was choosing definition #6.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 12:42 AM,
howard said…
April,
I finally finished packing. I am ready to move the first round of my stuff into the room set aside for the live-in maid at Becky’s house. The room is already furnished, so I had to put my furniture into storage, along with things that I cannot take a chance being seen in my room at Becky’s house, while I am going as old woman, Belfrieda Batsize, like guy clothes and some of my more flamboyant dresses and wigs. I’m going to bed. It’s going to be a big day tomorrow.
Howard K.
At 12:57 AM,
Anonymous said…
Paul--
I googled How to Stroke Her Pussy. It's Library of Congress classification is in the HX section. This section is reserved for the following items:
sexual life, marriage and the family, women and feminism
I do not think this book is about marriage, family, or women who are feminists.
Paul, you may be Mr. Wright, but you can never be Mr. Right if you don't know how to admit when you're wrong.
Liz
At 1:35 AM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
The duties of the Ontario Provincial Police do sometimes involve seizing illegal pornography. I know a sex book when I see one. I respect your abilities in your job. I have seen how well you handle children and adults in a teaching environment. I had hoped you would respect mine, even though you have never seen me at work. I did not realize how seriously you took your catchphrase, “Seeing is believing.” I will bring the book the next time I visit and you can judge for yourself.
As for your googling, it is no use denying what you found. However, the people in the States are notorious for their unusual ways of classifying things, particularly in their Congress. I would try National Library and Archives Canada instead.
Constable Paul Wright, Ontario Provincial Police
At 2:01 AM,
Anonymous said…
Paul, I do not like the condescending tone you are taking with me. Now I'm all confused, because you are usually so nice, and I usually like you a lot, but now you are acting like a jerk, and I'm feeling that like ebbing away.
Maybe we should not talk for awhile. That is what Shiimsa advises, anyway.
Liz
At 2:16 AM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
I must apologize. I have overreacted. You know how I feel about people making puns on my last name thanks to that Dudley Do-Right cartoon character. I lashed out at the one person for whom I care the most. Please forgive me. And to Shiimsa, please forgive me too.
Constable Paul Wright, Ontario Provincial Police
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