What's this WE, Michael?

Here's sum more e-mail I got from Dee:

'April':

I'm afraid this story I had to 'tell' is turning out much less 'interesting' than it seemed it 'would' when I started. These things 'happen', I suppose.

Picking up where I left 'off' in my last message to you, 'Michael' and I were lying in bed, fully 'clothed' in modest pyjamas, of course, and I said, "For years, my mom and dad never seemed to change. Suddenly, they both look and sound so much older. Dad's hearing is poor. He has problems with his knees. Mom's got no patience. She's stopped caring about her weight and appearance. I don't think they eat properly. They're certainly not getting enough exercise--and Dad watches far too much T.V." This is what your 'brother' said, 'April':" It's come full circle, Dee. We're starting to parent our parents!" OK, so my eyes bulged out when he said that, I hardly 'know' why, and next thing that hap--

Oh, 'dear', I just heard a 'crash' in the kitchen. And now the Kelps are banging on the ceiling again. Must 'go'! More later!

'Dee'

OK, hold on a wite-hot minute, Michael Wilhemina* Patterson! "We're starting 2 parent our parents"? WE? When the eff do U evr come ovr here & parent our parents? & if U know they're, like, losin' it, Y do U leave 'em in charge of me, a growin' & developing teen who still needs functional parents? Eff U, Michael. Gah, I M 2 pissed 2 comment further on that!

Oh, w8, & 1 more thing. R we ever gonna catch Mike saying that Mom has stopped caring abt her w8 & appearance? Oh, I guess it still counts as "caring" if she occasionally sez she needz 2 cut back on the pastriez & exercise more. ::eyez rolling now::

Howard, the book U wrote looks amazing! U wdn't know it didn't come from a real, big-deal publishing house! NEway, thanx 2 Dunc's promo website & the fake press releases Ger & I made, Mom's convinced that A Gazillion Little Bajan Pieces, by Anne Anna Maus, is the book for the discerning literary cognoscenti who has, incidentally, been burned in the past by Oprah's recommendations. She got so xcited when she read this on the note Howard enclosed: "a powerful, hard-hitting account of a girl's journey from Milborough to Barbados for an education." And her eyes got gigantor when she read on the dust jacket that it shows "how and why transferring teenage daughters to complete their high school education in Barbados turns them into drug-using, slovenly, murderous teenage daughters intent on the violent murder of their parents". She's actually staying home from the store 2 read it. Don't worry, Becks, she's sending my Dad by yr Mom's shop 2 get her morning "usual".

I didn't really get a chance 2 describe what happed when Dunc & I dragged Ger fr. Becks's place 2 mine in a red wagon. Ger's pretty tall, so his arms & legs were hangin' out, his feet kinda dragging along making it hard 2 pull the wagon. Dunc kept pretending we were in a parade & Ger was our float! Dunc that "Ger-elevator" U devised with the fire ladder & pulleys, 2 get Ger up 2 my rm, was genius! Man, we R so lucky no1 got hurt.

Peeps, my Dad is taking me 2 a lame "father-daughter bonding adventure" 2morrow morning. It's 4 fathers of "recalcitrant teenage girls", whatevs that means. We leave early & don't get back till sumtime in the afternoon. There's a good chance I won't B able 2 do my normal morning entry & will have 2 post when we get back, whenev that is. Prolly, I will put up a "place hold" message 2nite, w/2morrow morning as the date/time. If I do that, pls w8 until after it's the date/time of the entry B4 U post a comment 2 it. That way it will B EZ-er 2 keep track of what happed when.

Hm, I C that guy Cameron talking 2 Alex & Eva. Eva lks interested in what he's saying, but Alex seems kinda pissed.

Apes

*No his actual middle name, though it shd B, doncha think?