April's Real Blog

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

On & on abt selling the bookstore

K, so this past Sunday nite, over bowls of warmed slop from a can labeled "food", Dad asked Mom, "So, what wd U do if U sold the bookstore?" Mom sed, "Write, travel, spend more time with my dad and the grandchildren..." Dad sed, "Umm...then what?" Mom:" I don't know...Go thru all our photographs, clean out the basement, get rid of stuff..." Dad: "And then?...." Mom sed, "Volunteer, visit friends, cook, clean, go 2 the gym." Note she didn't say "Spend more time w/April 2 get her 2 stop B-ing such a Martian." Phew. NEway, Dad then told her, "I C U B-ing happy 4 mayB 6 months, & then, U'd B v., v. bored." Mom was all, "No I wdn't!" & then while using her spindly lil hand & arm 2 shovel "food" in2 her mouth: "B-sidez, I cd alwayz get a job @ the bookstore." Dad just got this WTF lk on his face & his mouth got really small, almost-gone small.

Hm. Mom's whacked, eh? I think Dad's got it rite. Mom will just B unhappy no matter what, work or not, retired or still working. If she sold the store, she'd B all happy 4 a short while, just like she was all happy & xcited when she bot the st00pid store, which was not much more than 5 yrs ago, peeps! & Mom thinx teenz have a short attention span. NEway, once B-ing "retired" lost its "new", Mom wd B all complaining again. Get a job @ the bookstore? LOL, like Moira wd hire her! ROTFLMAO @ that one!

Well, gotz 2 go. Sorry so l8 2day. . . .

Apes

posted by April Patterson @ 10:19 AM  

31 Comments:

  • At 12:14 PM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    I had an interesting breakfast with the people at Becky’s house this morning. I got up early to make breakfast and who should come sneaking in the door after being out all night, but Dr. Ted McCauley. I am, of course, wearing my Belfrieda Batsize costume and using my old lady voice. I said, “Dr. McCauley, sir. Did you have a successful time, cleaning out your mother’s old house?” Dr. McCauley said, “Shhh. Mom. We don’t want to wake up Krystle.” I said, “I will speak quietly, sir.” Dr. McCauley said, “Please don’t mention the time I got back to Krystle. She hates it when I work all night.” I said, “Certainly, sir. Sir, I did sew up the hole in your shirt.” Dr. McCauley said, “Thanks, mom. I am going to my bedroom now.” I said, “Sir, I also laundered the shirt.” Dr. McCauley said, “Thanks mom. Can we talk about this later?” I said, “Sir, the laundered shirt smells good, and it does not smell like cheap perfume, nor does it have lipstick stains on it.” Dr. McCauley said, “That’s good, mom. I…Oh I understand now. I’ll change shirts. Thanks, mom. You’re a lifesaver.” I said, “Glad to be of assistance, sir.” Dr. McCauley said, “You won’t tell Krystle about the shirt, will you mom?” I said, “Certainly not, sir.” He said, “Thanks, mom. Um…could you call me ‘Teddy’ instead of ‘Sir’.” I said, “I would be delighted to, Teddy, but there is the question of the young miss (referring to Becky).” Dr. McCauley said, “What question is that?” I said, “Calling you ‘Teddy’ does not show you proper respect. The young miss may start to imitate me, and we wouldn’t want that.” Dr. McCauley said, “No, we wouldn’t want that. You are absolutely right, mom. Just call me ‘Sir’ for now.” Then he changed his shirt and I put his nasty shirt in the laundry.

    As I served breakfast to Becky, Krystle (Becky’s mother) and Dr. McCauley, he said, “Mom. This is a really good breakfast. I think it is the best you have ever served.” I said, “Thank you, sir.” Krystle said, “It’s not as good as what we have in my store, but at least I didn’t have to cook it. Mrs. Batsize, I would like you to take down the draperies and clean them today.” Dr. McCauley said, “Those draperies are far too big and heavy for one person to clean. We’ll send them out.” Krystle said, “Ted, if we had hired Lars the bodybuilder to be our maid, then he could have done it.” I said, “The draperies won’t be a problem, ma’am.” Becky said, “Are you kidding? Those things are ginormous.” I said, “Trust me, young miss, I am perfectly capable.” Dr. McCauley said, “That’s my mom. Nothing is too tough for her. I am heading out for work.” Then he stood up beside me and said, “Don’t I get a goodbye kiss?” I said, “Sir?” Dr. McCauley, “You know. A little peck on the cheek before I go to work. It’s what you used to give me before you died.” I said, “I don’t think that would be appropriate, sir.” Krystle said, “I’ll kiss him” and she gave him a big sloppy one, while Becky and I shielded our eyes. “If there’s any kissing to be done around here, I’m doing it” she said glaring at me. Ted looked disappointedly at me, but he left without saying a word. Krystle said, “Becky, did you do your nails?” Becky said, “Yes. Mrs. Batsize did them for me last night.” Krystle said, “That colour design looks familiar.” Becky said, “Well, I think it looks good. Thanks, Mrs. Batsize.” I said, “You are quite welcome, dear.” Krystle said, “Mrs. Batsize, I am running late. Would you take Becky to school?” I said I would be glad to.

    On the way to school, I told Becky about Dr. McCauley and his late arrival and shirt. She said, “Creepy McCauley is cheating on my mother. It so figures. Wait till I tell mom.” I said, “What happens if you tell her?” Becky said, “My mom will make him wish he was dead. Frying pans or worse.” I said, “Are you going to have to move back to your old house? Dr. McCauley bought the place where you live now.” Becky said, “I never thought of that. Hmm! I am going to have to think about this. Howie, don’t tell my mom anything, until I figure this out.” I said, “Very well, young miss.” Becky laughed and said, “Way to keep in character, Howie.”

    That’s what happened this morning. I hope you find it interesting.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 12:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, that necklace u saw rebeccah wearing iz frum me 2 celebrate us b-ing kinda sort bf/gf. i wuz savin’ it 4 valentine’z day, but i decided it wud b gud 2 give it 2 her now nstead. it haz an “r’ on the locket 4 “rebeccah” since mosta her othah jewelry haz “b” for “becky”. i saw lorraine shoobie n the hall & told her that rebeccah wuz my kinda sort gf now & u cud tell cuz of the necklace, but she didn’t seem 2 care. she wuz showin’ off stuff she got @the bon jovi concert last nite & walkin’ w/tom baddum who looked kinda sick. mebbe he ate sumthin’ bad. i dunno. i am pretty xxcited ‘bout b-ing rebeccah’s kinda sort bf.

     

  • At 12:43 PM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    I had a strange conversation with your mother on the way to work. Outside the hair salon, your mother spotted me and stopped me in the street. She said, “Howard. What would you do if you didn’t work at the hair salon?” I said, “Look for another job. Why do you ask?” She said, “Oh no reason. If you had plenty of money and you didn’t need to work, then what would you do?” I said, “I wouldn’t be working in the hair salon at all, if I were independently wealthy. Why do you ask?” She said, “Oh no reason. If you had plenty of money and you owned the hair salon, what you do if you didn’t work there?” I said, “You mean let someone else manage my business?” She said, “No. If you sold your business.” I said, “So, you are independently wealthy and you sell a business you owned?” She said, “Yes. What would you do?” I said, “Invest in a new business, I suppose. Why do you ask?” She said, “Oh no reason. Would you work at the new business?” I said, “Why would I need to? I am independently wealthy.” She said, “So you don’t get bored.” I said, “Trust me. I wouldn’t get bored. I could spend the rest of my life traveling and still not see every place there is to see.” She said, “Wouldn’t you want to go though all your photographs, clean out the basement, get rid of stuff, do volunteer work, visit friends and relatives, cook, clean, go to the gym?” I said, “Those are things I can already do now, while I am working. Why do you ask?” She said, “Oh no reason. Well it was nice talking to you.” I said, “Nice talking to you too.” It was a strange conversation.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 12:44 PM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Hey, Apes, Im @ Ct 2day. My dads talking 2 those victim asst peeps so mayB Ill have sum good news 4 a change. My lawyer says I wont b out in time 2 go back 2 skool so Ill post 2nite an' give u the deets.

    L8r.

     

  • At 1:10 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    lol, howard, i meant 2 comment how funnee it is that my mom pretendz she'd work out @ the gym if only she had the time. that's such a joke. u know she'd just use her xtra time 2 stuff more pastriez down her gullet, eh?

    jeremy, i saw the necklace u gave becks. it's v. pretty. becks, dr. ted is way kreepee 2 b 2-time yr mom like that. & howard, way kreepee w/all the "mom" stuff!

    dunc, i hope u'll have gd new1

    oh, yikes, lorraine & cindilu r fighting in the hall again.

    apes

     

  • At 1:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear Paul,

    Shiimsa got your wonderful cat toy present in the mail. She is a very happy cat right now. She says she is receptive to further courtship from you. I think she is really expecting you to send her roses. If you do, I would send her yellow ones. Yellow roses are for friendship. We don't want Shiimsa to get confused about your intentions again.

    The kids are doing DEAR right now (drop everything and read) so I can post this. I admit that DEAR often comes in handy when I want a little computer time.

    Like, Liz

     

  • At 1:16 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    lol, transylvania! howard wd totally hafta work on a romanian accent, eh? cube that u got 2 hang w/yr dad last nite.

    apes

     

  • At 1:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dearest April flower,

    If you would like to give me some jewelry as a token of your fidelity and love, it would make me feel better about the whole "backing out of the pre-engagement" thing. Becky's locket is very pretty. I wouldn't mind having one of those.

    You know how I feel about you, but sometimes I am not sure that my April May-rion flower feels equal adoration for me.

    I would get you a promise ring, but I am afraid you would not like that.

    Devotedly yours, Gerald

     

  • At 1:29 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    becks, i wasn't trying 2 insult howard. i don't think he's dumb. i also don't think peeps who have an accent their whole lives after moving fr. another country r dumb. they can b smart, 2. the "transylvania" thing hit me as funny is all. ymmv & all that stuff.

    ger, y don't we go shopping on saturday, eh? unless u'd rather i get u sumthing by myself as a surprise. lemme know which u'd rather.

    apes

     

  • At 2:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yo, Alex, is that Drew Fontaine puckhead bothering you? Would you like me to run over his feet for you with my wheelchair?

    Cameron, your favourite "jerk"

     

  • At 3:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Elizabeth,

    Kaa-mesnin gwanaaj oshki-ikwe! (I miss you, beautiful one)!

    I am glad that Shiimsa got the cat toy present in the mail. I would love to send her yellow roses, but I have a problem. There are no flower shops in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees). In Spruce Narrows, there is a florist, but they do not deliver flowers to Mtigwaki (Land of Trees). I called Phil Goulais and he does not carry fresh flowers in his bait shop. I did not like it when he laughed and said I was being “P” whipped. However, Phil did say he would be happy to deliver the fish of Shiimsa’s choice to her. Is it possible Shiimsa might like a fish instead of roses?

    Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
    Constable Paul Wright

     

  • At 3:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, ur new locket iz real gold. don’t worry ‘bout the money. a kinda, sort bf haz 2 show hiz generosity 2 hiz kinda, sort gf, so peeps will know that he iz taken & will not try 2 lip lock him wenevah they wunt. thass lorraine shoobie i am talkin’ ‘bout, not u. u can lip lock me az much az u wunt.

     

  • At 3:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear Paul,

    Shiimsa was disappointed to hear about the flowers. If you could try to bring some flowers with you the next time you visit, I think she will be very happy.

    She is considering your offer of fresh fish. She is not sure whether to get trout or northern pike.

    Like, Liz

     

  • At 3:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear friend Becky,

    I know you are trying to be helpful, but I do not think you are right about lockets being only a girl thing. Lots of boys wear gold necklaces. And I would like a locket so I could put a picture of my April flower in it, and perhaps also a lock of her hair.

    Maybe my lovely, lubricious little larkspur would take a sexy photo of herself for my locket?

    Hopefully, Gerald

     

  • At 3:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dearest April flower,

    I forgot to tell you that I would prefer you to pick out my new locket and surprise me. I want it to reflect your marvelous taste.

    Devotedly, Gerald

     

  • At 4:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, the locket looks gud on u. b-ing a sorta kind gf, where u can get gifts frum ur sorta kind bf, iz way bettah than friendz w/benefits, don't u think?

     

  • At 4:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Elizabeth,

    Kaa-mesnin gwanaaj oshki-ikwe! (I miss you, beautiful one)!

    Tell Shiimsa I will be sure to bring some yellow roses from Otter County, for my next visit. I personally prefer trout to northern pike, but I am interested in Shiimsa’s choice. It will tell me what kind of a cat she is. I have been watching the show with the animal behaviourist you recommended. In the last show, the behaviourist talked extensively about the temperament of cats and their choice of fish. I don’t know if you saw the show, but this is what it said:

    Walleye – Cats who like walleye get along very well with other cats. These are the social butterflies of the cats.
    Northern Pike – Cats who like Northern pike are very aggressive, like the fish they love. If you play with them, you will get scratched.
    Trout – Cats who like trout prefer to stay in warm, humid places, like shower stalls, under the covers or southern Florida.
    Salmon – Cats who like salmon are not choosy in their foods. They are the kind of cats who would like chain restaurants.
    Tuna - Cats who eat tuna are attention whores. They will eat anything you give them.

    Let me know what Shiimsa chooses and I will call Phil Goulais to bring it over to you.

    Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
    Constable Paul Wright

     

  • At 4:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, i wud b glad 2 "study" w/u. do u wanna "study" rite now? if so, i will b rite ovah.

     

  • At 4:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear Paul,

    Shiimsa had just decided to get northern pike when your email came in. When I read it to her, she became enraged that you would say such things about a cat just because she likes northern pike. When I explained to her that it wasn't your belief, but something you saw on a nature show, she calmed down a little.

    Now she says she wants a sampler pack of all different kinds of fish. I think this is to confuse you so you won't be able to tell what kind of cat she really is.

    Like, Liz

     

  • At 5:04 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    yay, r.p. boire's hockey team won 2day against nos culs baiser separate school! 5-4. coach is taking the boyz out 4 pizza 2 celebrate. ger, when u c this, big congrats on the win! i'm gonna shop 4 yr gift on saturday, but i'm now worried cuz of what becks sed. i'd h8 it if a gift i gave u caused u 2 get beat up! i've been scoping out "men's jewelry" online & i don't c ne lockets. but if u want me 2 get u 1 neway, i will. do u feel like goin' out on a d8 sat. nite? if so, i'll give u the gift then!

    apes

     

  • At 5:05 PM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    It was a strange afternoon at Sugar’s today. When I got to the door, Marjee was waiting for me. She said, “You have got to do a better job teaching Sugar how to do the shamp-Ohs. We were losing customers yesterday.” I said, “I could teach you instead of Sugar. You have a lot better hands.” Marjee said, “Howard, are you trying to insult me? I am a trained stylist. Not a shampoo girl.” I said, “What? Stylists in other shops do shampoos. What is up with you?” Marjee said, “I need to talk to you alone.” So she dragged me in the back room and said, “Sugar is driving us crazy. She had such a bad time doing shampoos yesterday, she was talking about selling the store, because her heart is not in it anymore. You have got to talk with her.” Sugar came into the back room and said, “You two. None of this backroom kissing on the job. You have work to do.” I said, “We weren’t kissing.” Sugar would hear none of it.

    In between shamp-Ohs, while I am teaching Sugar to do shamp-Ohs, I said to her, “Sugar, I have heard you might be selling the salon.” Sugar said, “I am thinking about it.” I said, “So, what would you do if you sold the salon?” Sugar said, “Eat chocolate and watch TV all day.” I said, “Umm…then what?” Sugar said, “That would be it. Just chocolate and TV.” I said, “I see you being happy for maybe 6 months and then, you’d be very, very bored.” Sugar said, “Your prognosticator is broken, Howard. I am never bored with chocolate and TV. When my grandmother retired, she ate chocolate and watched TV until the day she died. The funeral director wanted to take her last chocolate bar out of her hand, but we said to leave it there. We wanted her to look natural.”

    I said, “That is a morbid story. What’s really wrong, Sugar? You are usually so upbeat.” Sugar said, “Yesterday, I went into that bookstore a few stores down from us, Lilliput’s to get a copy of ‘A Million Little Pieces’ by James Frey. I heard it was a powerful, hard-hitting account of a man's journey from addiction to health.” When I went in the store, Elly Patterson was at the counter said, ‘Hello. May I help you?’ Then I told her what book I wanted. The 2 other ladies in the store started yelling something like, “No.” or “Run.” It was very confusing, but the Elly took me into her back office and gave me a free copy of the book. Then she took the time to tell me about rude customers, and pandering sycophantic employees who couldn’t take the time to make coffee, and how a person running their own business needs to have not only their heart in it, but their nose as well. After that, I started thinking maybe it was time to sell my business. Chocolate and TV have been looking pretty good to me.” I said, “You love this business, Sugar and dealing with all the customers, even if they are rude. I thought it was your personal mission to beautify Milborough starting with the hair.” Sugar said, “You’re right, Howard. What was I thinking? Show me how to do this shamp-Oh.” So, after practicing on Marjee’s hair for awhile, I think Sugar started to get the hang of it. She was able to make Marjee go “Oh” at least once, and I don’t think she was faking.

    Back to cleaning draperies,
    Howard K.

     

  • At 5:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, i will cu aftah dinner. footballer$ wive$ soundz gud2 me.

     

  • At 5:09 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    man, my mom's, like, a terrible influence on every1! i just got here like a minute ago, & moira sed mom's got half the biz owners on this block thinkin' of selling. it's so weird!

    apes

     

  • At 5:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Elizabeth,

    Kaa-mesnin gwanaaj oshki-ikwe! (I miss you, beautiful one)!

    I called Phil Goulais and asked him to bring one of every kind of fish he has to you. Please tell Shiimsa, I like playing with aggressive cats, which is not to say that Shiimsa is an aggressive cat. Not that there is anything wrong with that, if Shiimsa should feel a little aggressive.

    Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
    Constable Paul Wright

     

  • At 5:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, if ur worried ‘bout givin’ geranium sum jewelry that won’t get him beat up, i can help. there’z lockets that r tuff. look @www.locketsofdeath.com.

     

  • At 5:34 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    yeah, thoze r sum pretty tuff lookin' lockets. ger, lemme know if that's the kinda thing that mite appeal 2 u. i know u want me 2 pick out yr gift 4 u, but i just want an idea of which direction 2 take, eh?

    apes

     

  • At 6:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dearest April flower,

    I still want a pretty locket like Becky has. And a slutty picture of you inside it.

    Love, Gerald

    P.S.--Thank you for your congratulations. My training regimen is paying off. I got to play for five minutes in the second period! Did you see?

     

  • At 6:46 PM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    Months of cleaning the denture cream out of the drapes at the Miborough Seniors’ Living Palace made cleaning the drapes at Becky’s house pretty easy, even though they were heavy and unwieldy. I also found the little surprise that Krystle left for me up in the draperies. I imagine most little old ladies would be put off by finding large amounts of petroleum jelly in the drapes, but Belfrieda Batsize is made of sterner stuff.

    Krystle and Becky came home together. As usual, I was wearing my Belfrieda Batsize costume and using my old lady voice, when they arrived. The first thing Krystle did was to put on white gloves and check the drapes. She was in a foul mood when she could not find any of the jelly in them.

    She started growling about the dinner when Dr. McCauley came home and said, “I’m home mom. What’s for dinner? It smells great.” Krystle said, “What do you have in that bag?” Dr. McCauley said, “I have a gift for mom. I noticed her hose was a little wrinkly yesterday, so I got her some silk support hose.” I said, “Thank you, sir. That is most generous of you.” Dr. McCauley said, “Would you go put it on now, mom? I want to see how you look in it.” I said, “Perhaps later, sir. I have dinner ready.” Krystle said, “Ted. You are not going to be ogling this old lady are you?” Dr. McCauley said, “No. Don’t be silly Krystle. If the support hose doesn’t fit, then I can take it back, eh?” Becky came over to me and whispered, “Jeremy is coming over after dinner for a ‘study’ session.” Krystle said, “What are you whispering?” I said, “The young miss is telling me her study plans for after dinner, ma’am. I used to be quite the schoolgirl and I think I may be able to help her.” Krystle said, “As long as she doesn’t bother me and Ted, that’s fine.”

    I served the dinner and Dr. McCauley said, “That was a great meal, mom. Yum! Yum! Don’t you agree, Krystle?” Krystle said, “I was able to keep it down. Where did you learn to cut vegetables, Mrs. Batsize? The patterns are quite interesting.” I said, “My sainted mother taught me, rest her soul, ma’am.” Dr. McCauley started blubbering and said, “You mean you have given us vegetables cut just the way your beloved mother taught you?” I said, “Yes, sir. She was a fine cook, my mother.” Dr. McCauley said, “That’s the way mothers are. So giving, so loving, so cooking, so sewing.” He started weeping uncontrollably, when Krystle said, “There, there, Ted. Let me take you to the bedroom. I can make you forget your pain.” Dr. McCauley jumped up and said, “No!! I have to go to my mother’s old house to alleviate my grief. I have to look at her old vegetable cutter and other kitchen utensils. Nothing else will do.” And he got up to leave the room. Krystle said, “But Ted, I thought it was going to be just us tonight. No house cleaning.” Dr. McCauley said, “I must undress my grief.” Becky said, “You mean address your grief, right?” Dr. McCauley said, “Mom. What would you say to such a rude, little girl?” I said, “Do you mean, ‘How would I correct her behaviour’, sir?” Dr. McCauley said, “Yes, you have stated it so well mom, as I knew you would.” I said, “Well, sir. I would inform the young miss that ‘undress’ could mean that a wound has not been properly ‘dressed’ or ‘medically treated’ and that perhaps you were referring to your grief as analogous to an ‘undressed wound.’ I would also tell her not to talk with food in her mouth, sir.” Becky stared at me. Dr. McCauley said, “Exactly. I knew you would know the right thing to say.” I said, “Thank you, sir.” Krystle said, “Just keep eating while you talk, Becky. That’s the way I do it.” Becky swallowed before she replied, “Sorry, Mrs. Batsize.” Krystle growled a little.

    Dr. McCauley left and shortly afterwards, Jeremy Jones was at the door. Krystle said, “Are you chaperoning these two, Mrs. Batsize?” I said, “I would be glad to do that, ma’am.” Krystle said, “Good. If I’m not getting any, then she isn’t either.” Becky said, “Mom. Jeremy is just here to study. I am getting sick and tired of you saying things like I’m a slut.” Krystle said, “Mrs. Batsize, How would you correct her behaviour?” I said, “I am uncertain, ma’am. Both you and the young miss desire her to be chaste, which is proper. I am sure the young gentleman has the same desire, isn’t that so, young sir?” Jeremy Jones said, “What?” I said, “You desire to be chaste, young sir?” Jeremy said, “Chased? I hate being chased. When those exploding clowns chased me, it was awful. You’re not going to chase me are you?” I said, “I see the question is beyond your capacity for understanding, young sir. You do need to study.”

    As I was cleaning up supper, Becky and Jeremy went to her bungalow. I heard Krystle McGuire on the telephone. She said, “Lars. I don’t think I want to be chaste anymore. Would you like to visit and help me with that?” Then there was a period of silence while Krystle was listening. Then she said, “Not that kind of chaste. I don’t mean I want you to chase me around.” This conversation was still going on when I went to Becky’s Bungalow to help her study with Jeremy. When I knocked on the door, I heard Becky say, “Not now! Come back in a few minutes!”

    So, while I am waiting, I thought I would write you and tell you how the evening went. By the way, silk support hose feels pretty darn good.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 8:18 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    gerald, yeh, i saw u on the ice, & i was so proud. i was all, "that's my guy! and sherilynn cataline, doug farnsworth's gf, shot me this nasty-arse look & totally rolled her eyez! i m soooo asking tom baddum 2 get unflattering candid pix of her in2 this yr's yrbook!

    neway, i'll get the kind of locket u want. & c what i can do abt a pic 4 inside, eh?

    howard, soundz like u r having a interesting time over there!

    apes

     

  • At 8:37 PM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    Jeremy and Becky finished whatever it was that they were doing. It might have had something to do with Becky’s new locket. Becky informed me that her new locket came from Jeremy and Jeremy blushed when she mentioned it.

    We have Footballer$ Wive$ on the illegal satellite dish. Jeremy and Becky are watching it and doing math homework and occasionally asking me a question when there is something they don’t understand. I am doing Dr. McCauley’s sewing. For such a wealthy guy, he wears a lot of ragged clothes.

    Thorvald wanted me to spy on Krystle and Dr. McCauley for his custody battle. All I have really noted is that Krystle left a little while ago and came back with that Lars guy. I went down in my Belfrieda Batsize outfit to make sure Krystle didn’t have Lars cleaning anything. He wasn’t, but it sounded like he and Krystle were enjoying themselves.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 9:34 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    drew sure is cocky, eh? oh, guess what? after the hockey game, i noticed he'd changed in2 an rpi jersey. it reminded me of the 1 u wore 2 sleep in @ becky's slumber party.

    apes

     

Post a Comment

<< Home