Mike and His Mirth Meander

Doodz, so did NE1 happen 2 catch Mike's l8est "Michael's Mirthful Meanderings" column in the Milborough Shopper? No? Well, I can't say I blame U. NEway, this is it:

Merry Merrie, Terrific Teddy

by

Michael Patterson

Picture this, my beloved readers. My blonde, bowl-cutted beauty of a wife and I are bundled to the hilt, sitting in the skating-rink stands, using coffee to warm our hands. In fact, she so wisely noted this after I so uxoriously brought them to her: "This is a great way to warm up our hands!" The depersonalized patter on the public address system droned to us: "Thank you, intermediate girls. . . That was lovely!" Then it irascibly introduced, "Now, Vince Winkle and Marilee Snypes will dance to a medley of Broadway show tunes." Darling dervish Deanna and I clutched our coats to us through the medley, through the "senior girls precision program." Our teeth chattered as we viewed the acrobatic skater Chenille Foisgras (her real name, we are assured). Finally, the announcer proclaimed the final programme of the day, one hundred and twenty minutes from when we first sat: "And. . . Now our junior skaters will perform to 'The Teddy Bear's Picnic'."

My Spunky Spouse and I let out a mighty cheer! Our merry Meredith and her mates skated out in their bear suits, and my little bear was the cutest cub of the bunch! Afterwards, I had a thought, and I daresay it was profound, gentle readers: "Love is: Sitting in an arenda for two hours... So you can watch your daughter for two minutes!"

After our glorious time at the rink, I hugged my wonderful wife, squeezed my darling daughter, waved to my rambunctious Robin (retrieved from the sitter), and ascended to my attic, where the deadlines awaited, undaunted. The sacrifices we make for our loved ones.

Dee sent me the column in an e-mail, and her note said,

'April'!

I can't believe I actually got your 'brother' to leave his attic long enough to watch 'Merrie' skate! I must say I was floored. Of course, he's practically breaking his 'arm' patting himself on the back about his two hours, while I've been attending every single practice Merrie and her fellow bears have had. But, I must say, 'Michael' and I had a moment of perfect syncronization. Somehow, when 'he' had that "Love is" thought? I had the exact same thought at the same time! Unbelievable!

Be 'well',

'Dee'

& there U have it!

Peeps, I hope I won't B goin' on & on abt myself again 2morrow & the rest of the week. I M going 2 try really hard 2 focus on other ppl/subjs, but sumtymez it seemz like other forces, like mayB the onez that control my hair, also influence the topics I focus on?

Dunc, I'm glad U liked the poem I made 4 Kimmi's card. I'll post it separately since this entry is already so long! D00d, I wish I cd get U out of that traffic study Mr. Malkmus is forcing U 2 do. That's just so mean!

Apes