Connie's Nice--I was grumpy
So Connie slept over last nite & this morning she made me bacon & eggz 4 breakfast. I was surprised cuz Mom usually has me fend 4 myself. When she was putting the B 'n' E on the table, Connie sed, "I hope yr Mom & Dad R having a good holiday." I sed, "Yeah. Me 2." Even tho the truth is I don't really care if they have a nice holiday since they don't really care if I have a nice time while they're getting all tan & it's still cold here in Mboro. NEway, as I was leaving, Connie was all, "What wd U like 4 dinner--chicken or meat loaf?" I sed, "Um...meat loaf, please." I was startled cuz l8ly Mom's been making me cook the dinnerz on most nites. Connie was, like, "I'm going 2 do laundry. Is there NEthing U'd like me 2 wash or iron?" I was all, "Sure. There's a couple of thingz." When I went out, Connie sed, "Have a good day @ school, honey. I'll B here when U get home." @ school this morning, Gerald asked me, "How'z it going with the 'chaperone', April?" & I was all, "Terrible." Which wasn't so much abt Connie, who'z cube, but I did wanna have the house 2 myself. I was so out of it this morning, I twisted my hair in2 the ugly, stupid propellor bun, even tho Marjee styled it so cute yesterday. But rite after that convo w/Ger & let it down & it looks much better now.
Speaking of Ger, isn't it weird how our heights in relation 2 ea other keep changing? I'm not sure if it's me or him changing, or mayB a combo of both. But there R timez when he's, like, a whole head taller than me. Then other times, like 2day, when the top of my head lines up w/, like, his eyez. Weird.
Apes
Speaking of Ger, isn't it weird how our heights in relation 2 ea other keep changing? I'm not sure if it's me or him changing, or mayB a combo of both. But there R timez when he's, like, a whole head taller than me. Then other times, like 2day, when the top of my head lines up w/, like, his eyez. Weird.
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 8:10 AM
37 Comments:
At 11:29 AM,
Anne said…
U can chalk up the crankiness 2 not having your A.M. coffee. My mom's started calline me "Vicki the Venusian" bcause I'm grumpy b4 school. Ha ha funny, Mom.
It was cube walking u home yestahday. W/the way Marjee cut yr hair, u can put in a ponytail holder quickly 4 yr mom's "inspection" & take it out just as fast.
I'm getting nervous about the new skate park by the Roller-Rama that I showed u. It's large, so lots of kids can use their bikes or boards, but the inclines are mega-steep. At least Gordie wears a helmet & kneepads when he skates.
Vicks
At 11:53 AM,
Anonymous said…
april, i finally got 2c ur new hair & this won’t sound like a guy but, the dark burgundy looks gud. u shud get ur hair done more often. i dunno wut it iz ‘bout m-boro, but a lotta girlz don’t seem 2 wanna change their hair style. i remembah sum girl tellin' me if she changed her hair, she wuz afraid peeps wudn't recognize her. it seemz like that wud be the point 2 me. but since i luk 40 yrs old now, i can kinda unnerstand worryin' 'bout b-ing recognized. rebeccah haz had the same hair style 4-evah also, evn tho i like it, it’s just 1 of thoze thingz i kinda wonder about.
ur mornin’ w/connie wuz rilly diffrent than mine. i kinda wish connie wud stay ovah w/mom & me. i made jam, toast & cereal 4 mom & me. i think mom sed, “have a gud day @skool” but she iz not a morning person & it kinda came out az “haffa gudski.” course she might b tryin’ 2 speak polish 2 me. i wouldn’t know. she iz not az coherent az connie or vicki'z mom. az i wuz leavin’ i think my mom sed, “b home on tyme 4 dinner, ur future dad & sis r comin’ ovah.” but it sounded like, “tyme dinner ur comin’ ovah.” i guess wen i get home, i hafta do sum ironin’, cuz my mom duzn’t like me 2 luk like a slob n fronta the future dad.
gigli’s height duz change a lot, but then urs duz 2. i am used 2 that, but not thoze freaky handz frum yestahday. i have noticed wen ur body changez a lot it is usually wen u rite n ur blog ‘bout urself. wen ur riting n ur blog ‘bout ur sis or ur bro or evn ur mom n ur blog, u look pretty normal. actually, & don’t take this the wrong way cuz i don’t wanna get n trubble w/rebeccah, but u look way bettah wen u don’t rite ‘bout urself n ur blog. it soundz strange for a blog, but mebbe u shud consider alwayz ritin’ ‘bout othah peeps than urself.
At 12:25 PM,
April Patterson said…
vicks, i think our 'rents must use the same jokebooks abt their kids, eh? so not-funny. i'm glad marjee did my hair so i can go back & forth easily betw the uggo prop-bun or pony & the down-&-cute look.
jeremy, abt being afraid peeps wd not recognize sum1 after a hairdo change? my mom actually thinx that if i change my hair, my teachers won't know who i am & will mark me absent! isn't that st00pid? i think u r rite abt how i look worse whenev i write stuff abt myself in my blog. i'd like 2 follow yr advice abt only writing abt other peeps, but sumtymez i have this weird urge 2 write abt me, & it's like i'm not completely in control of what i say. weird, i know, but in mboro we have a lot of weird, eh?
apes
At 12:42 PM,
Anne said…
In Apes' defense, this *is* "April's Real Blog" & not "Milborough Musings" or "Ontario Observations," lol. Come 2 think of it Apes, those 2 titles sound like something yr bro would use for his blog. Only he'd call it "Michael's Magnificent Milborough Musings" or something else cloying, as my mom would say. & u do rite about other peeps & things. W/Mike it'd b all about him....lol
Vicks
At 12:52 PM,
Anonymous said…
vicki, u don't hafta defend april against me. i am only tellin' her wut i noticed 'bout wen her body did thoze strange thingz. last yr, wen she did that shrinkin' thing, it wuz wen she wuz ritin' 'bout her zits. wen she wuz ritin' 'bout her siz's new bf, she looked gr8. the 2 thingz r prolly not rel8ed. i know sumtymez wen april iz ritin' 'bout her sis or her bro, i rilly wish she wud b ritin' 'bout herself. but u know, mebbe her bod can only take so much & she haz 2 rite 'bout sum1 else 4 relief.
At 12:53 PM,
April Patterson said…
omg, vicks, we'd better not give michael ne ideas, eh?
apes
At 12:56 PM,
howard said…
April,
I hate to say it but it is really nice having Krystle (Becky’s mom) and Dr. McCauley out of the house. I did not realize how much I have begun to despise my old lady outfit as Mrs. Belfrieda Batsize. I was so fun to cook while I was wearing a young person dress instead of an old lady dress. I made Becky eggs benedict this morning and I said to her, “I hope your mom and Dr. McCauley are having a good holiday. In fact I hope they take a nice long holiday." Becky said, "Yeah. Me too." Becky has been feeling a little poorly lately. That’s reason she hasn’t been posting to your Blog.
l, however, was quite perky. I said to Becky, "What would you like for dinner—pork tenderloin or filet mignon?" Becky said, "Um...tenderloin, please." One of the nice side effects of my portraying the ultra-strict-with-manners Belfrieda Batsize has been that Becky says, “Please” and “Thank you” a lot more often than she used to. I am pretty happy about that. Politeness and manners are important to a young lady’s position in society, as I am sure you know.
Then I said to Becky, "I'm going to do laundry. Is there anything you'd like me to wash or iron that you have hidden in your room somewhere so your mom doesn’t know you have it?" Becky said, "Sure. There's a couple of things." And she went to get a few of these micro minis she has. I drove Becky to school and I said, "Have a good day at school. If you are feeling better, we’ll do something after school.” So, if you see Becky and she is a little cranky-muffin, it’s because she doesn’t feel very good.
Just to let you know. No matter how tall or short you are, no matter how big or small your boobs are, no matter how misshapen your hands are, I still love you and I know Becky feels the same way.
Howard K.
At 1:03 PM,
April Patterson said…
thanx, howard, that's v. nice of u! i saw becks @ lunch & she sed that even tho she still doesn't feel so good, she'z in a good mood cuz of her mom & dr. ted being away. she sez she'z glad u & she get 2 have a nice quiet dinner of tenderloin this evening.
when ger saw pierce inverarity in the lunch rm, he (ger) stood on his tippy-toes till pierce was outta eyeshot. then he whispered, "i don't want pierce 2 know i'm having a short day. i wanna make sure i still get 2 play basketball next season."
apes
At 1:07 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings about your breakfast. Since I work the late shift at the Otter County Provincial Police detachment, I get to serve breakfast to the people we have in jail. We have to be careful with what we serve. You don’t want to give the prisoner some kind of food that can be used as a weapon. I remember one prisoner got a piece of stale toast once and fashioned it into a weapon. He got crumbs all over the place before he was stopped.
Part of our training in the OPP is not only to learn how to defend ourselves against lethal breakfast foods, but also how to make breakfast foods nonlethal. For example, the toast is always served a little soggy with jam and pancakes are always well-rounded with no sharp corners. It’s the little things that make the difference between a well-fed and happy prisoner and an embarrassing escapee.
Your sister makes an excellent breakfast. It’s yet another reason why I have fallen in love with her. She opens a jam jar like no other woman that I have seen, except maybe my mother.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 1:12 PM,
April Patterson said…
paul, u mite b interested 2 know how liz got 2 b so good @ opening a jar of jam. it useta b if she asked mom 2 open a jar 4 her, mom wd make a big deal abt how much effort it took 2 open the jar, & then after going 2 so much trub, she wanted 2 take out her "fee" which wd b "just a taste" of the jam. then next thing u knew, the jam was all gone! so liz got 2 b v. v. good @ opening a jar of jam.
apes
At 1:13 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, no offence 2 gigli's basketball knowledge, but i don't think pierce inverarity picks the peeps who make the basketball team. i think it iz mebbe the basketball coach, eh? gigli shud consider doin' sum shootin' practice n the off season. that will make more of a diffrence than how tall he iz.
neway, u shud know that i saw pierce inverarity also & he wuz askin' who the hot chick wuz with gigli. i think ur new hair got hiz attention.
At 1:18 PM,
April Patterson said…
::blush, blush::
pierce inverarity thinx i'm hot.
jeremy, i think ger mighta been worried that if pierce noticed ger having a short day, he mite tell their coach. he'll prolly get on tiptoez if he runz in2 their coach, 2.
apes
At 1:20 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I remember well the morning after the night your mother spent at my detachment. She did love jam and a lot of other breakfast foods. It was good to see a woman with a healthy appetite. She reminded me of a strong Ojibway woman, the way she was with food. She did not complain one time about the food we gave her and she asked for seconds, thirds, fourths and fifths. In fact, as I recollect, she only stopped eating when we ran out of food. Your mother is very impressive. I should have guessed she would be the one to teach your sister how to open a jar of jam.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 1:31 PM,
Anonymous said…
jeremy, i don’t think gigli hazta worry ‘bout wut coach thinks till next year’s tryouts. kids in high skool change a lot pretty quickly. remembah, back @grade 8 grad, i looked like a regular kid, but then aftah the summer, i looked like this 40-yr-old man. i am tryin’ 2 4get that, but every tyme i look n the mirror, i get reminded. it’s gotten so bad that mom duzn’t want me 2 walk w/her in a grocery store. 2 many peeps have come up 2 her & sed ‘bout me, “so, this iz the gr8 guy ur plannin’ 2 marry?” she rilly h8s havin’ a son who looks oldah than she duz.
i am so glad ur mpressed by pierce inverarity’s opinion. if he wuz smart, he woulda noticed u a long tyme ago. he’z only noticing wut ur friendz have been tellin’ u 4 a long tyme—puttin’ ur hair up all the tyme disguises ur looks. i know rebeccah haz been sayin’ it 4evah & she knowz a lot 'bout b-ing pretty.
At 1:39 PM,
April Patterson said…
jeremy, i don't think u've been looking 40 l8ly. i think u've been looking more, like, i dunno, 25?
apes
At 1:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, thass v. nice of u 2 say, but i am remembering the guyz u know who r @25, like anthony caine or gordon mayes. so, do i look like a 25-yr-old str8 or a 25-yr-old gay?
At 1:47 PM,
April Patterson said…
oh, i shda specified, u look like a normal, non-mboro 25, or 4 mboro, a gay 25. hth!
apes
At 2:02 PM,
Anonymous said…
thanx, april. i'm glad 2 know sum1 duzn't think i look 40. u look rilly pretty 2day, like ur 16. rebeccah told me u luk good 2.
At 2:02 PM,
Anne said…
So I saw Gerald n the library after lunch, & he was looking 4 in-line sk8tes on Sportmart's site. I asked him what was up (yikes...can't believe I just did that), & he said he wanted a pair of skates so he'd always be taller than his "lovely maiden-flower April" no matter what "deleterious effects the vicissitudes of puberty might have on (my) stature." He'll ace the vocab part of his university exams....lol
I agree w/Apes, Jeremy. U look like a str8t 20-something 2day. I hope u don't get pestered by those sophomores again 2 buy them booze.
& mayb I need new contacts Apes, but when I walked u 2 yr house, and Ms. Poirer opened the door, 4 a moment she looked like yr dad, but w/blonde highlights. I guess I need 2 drink more mochas 2 focus better.
Vicks
At 2:10 PM,
Anonymous said…
vicki, thanx. i'm not usedta gettin' compliments on my appearance. now u mention it, i wuz wonderin' y the sophomorez weren't botherin' me 2day. i thot i mighta smelled funny or sumthing.
At 2:17 PM,
April Patterson said…
thanx 4 the compliments, jeremy. i seem 2 b getting more attention fr. guyz than i usually do, & ger is, like, goin' back & forth betw being proud 2 have a gf guyz r checking out & being like, "hey, stop checking out my gf!" the librarian pted out that u can't wear sk8s in school, they'd b confiscated. ger'z bummed abt that.
connie has been looking strange l8ly, vicks, it's not yr eyez. she also sumtymez looks like my grampa jim in drag.
apes
At 2:29 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, ur grandpa jim n drag. i am tryin' 2 drive that image frum my head. if thass wut u hafta luk @ wen ur home, i am feelin' rilly bad 4u.
gigli shud b happy guyz r checkin' u out. sumtymez rebeccah lets me walk w/her & it makes me feel rilly gud wen guyz r checkin' her out & i'm the guy thass w/her. thass wen u know u gotta a hott gf or a hott pre-gf n my case.
sumthin' i 4got 2 mention b4. since ur dad haz been outa town, i have not seen 1 station wagon & i have been lookin'. i think i may have escaped frum ur dad's test drive. i may hafta celebr8.
At 2:40 PM,
April Patterson said…
it's poss that my dad will 4get abt the test drivez 4 a while, & then act like it's a brand new idea when he gets around 2 writing his april-2006 letter: "oh, did u know i'm thinking abt selling my bushwacker? no, really, i am! so i'm looking @ station wagons", & yadda yadda, u know the drill.
apes
At 2:46 PM,
Anne said…
Jeremy, I remember when u showed me & Becks the fake ID Loudon Connelly made 4 u--a Quebec driver's license w/the name Vincent Furnier. Born on March 22, 1962, n Shawinigan, QE. So I guess u've got a b-day coming up soon...lol. Me & Becks laughed our arses off! I know u'd never cave 2 those dorks, but that is one impressive phony ID. The guy in the photo had a dbl chin tho, so I unnerstand why u felt dissed.
I'm glad it's not my eyez, Apes. I think I had the same experience when I saw Moira @ the bookstore & thot she was Shannon @ first.
NEway, yr new hairstyle looks sooper-cool. Gordie's friend Malcolm Wainwright (they take Basic Physical Science 2gether) told him that he saw u 20 mins ago & wanted to ask u 2 Spring Fling n a coupla months. He asked Gordie 2 ask me 2 ask u. Wait, I think he wanted me 2 ask Marjee, who'd then bring it up w/u the next time she was cutting yr hair. Gordie cut the whole asking chain off by telling him u & Ger r very much an item. He said Malcolm was kinda bummed, but Gordie was like "What?" bcause who doesn't know u & Ger r like, pre-engaged? He does take Basic Science, tho.
Vicks
At 2:55 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, ur prolly rite 'bout ur dad. like that retirement house he showed u last month. i cud swear i remembah u ritin' sumthin' 'bout him talking 'bout that last september n ur blog, but it tuk him till february 2 show it 2u like u had nevah heard 'bout it b4.
it's kinda weird 'bout thoze letterz. it usedta b wen u mentioned them, they were 'bout thingz that had happened 2u. but now, it seemz like they r more about thingz that r gonna happen, like they r predictin' the future. i mean, if it weren't 4 thoze letterz, i wud nevah evn known ur 'rents were takin' a vacation w/o u.
At 2:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
vicki, that wuz a good fake id. course no 1s checked my id 4 nething n awhile, xxcept 2c if i qualify 4 an old peeps' discount. but i shud try again, now u & april think i luk youngah. i think i'm gonna try 2 get sum beer aftah skool 2c if they ask. if they do, then i will know 4 sure i luk younger.
At 4:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
Yo April, Gordie dared me to post here. So, uh, hi. I know you're hooked up with Gerald, but he was looking pretty short in the library. In fact, he asked the librarian if she'd "be so kind as to avail him of the use of a booster seat." So not to be harsh, but at the rate he's going he could disappear. So, if he does like go "poof!" and vanish, would you wanna be my date for Spring Fling? I've picked up some mad dancing skillz by boarding. Anyway, I don't wanna keep my science tutor waiting. So if you just thought about it, that'd be cool. Later.
At 5:14 PM,
April Patterson said…
malcolm, that's v. sweet of u. but i have exp. w/shrinking & almost going "poof", so 4tun8ly i can get the help we need if it looks like ger's going in that direction. plus he totally stood by me when i was going thru that, so i'd totally hafta stick by him, 2! thanx 4 the offer, tho.
apes
At 5:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, ur a lot nicer 2 malcolm than i woulda been.
neway, i must rilly b lookin’ youngah. they checked my id wen i tried 2 buy beer. thass the gud newz 4 me 2nite. the bad newz iz my future dad sez we r all going out 2 tonite to stepdance & tango. there’z a dance place that gives free lessons b4 the dance floor iz opened up 2 all dancerz. so it will b my future dad and mom 2gethah & i will hafta dance w/my future sis. my future sis sed i wuz lookin’ a lot youngah 2, so there is more corroboration 4 wut u & vicki sed ‘bout the way i look. course aftah a nite of stepdance & tango, i may feel rilly old again. my future sis sed i cud ask my pre-gf 2 go nstead of her (cuz she wunts 2 get outa it, 2), but i hadta tell her rebeccah iz sick & not up 2 dancing. so, my future sis will hafta substitute n thoze kinda activities, till rebeccah gets bettah.
At 5:39 PM,
April Patterson said…
jeremy, d00d, sorry 2 hear abt the stepdancing & tango. 4 sum reason, they're kinda trendy in mboro rite now, i've heard.
w/looking younger, do u feel ne diff? have u been doing nething different? if so, mayB we shd rite it down sumwhere, eh?
apes
At 6:44 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, diffrent. lemme think. well, since i haven't been doing gigz or goin' out on d8s w/rebeccah 4 awhile (but not 4 not tryin'), i have been able 2 keep up w/my homework, evn that crayzee english teach's piles of homework. & u know that 1 really, reallllly borin’ teach who speaks n a monotone w/no pauses & no xxpression whatsoever & it makes it really hard 2 pay attention 2 wut he'z sayin’ especially wen he talks ‘bout things u have no innerest n but it's ok cuz he rites on the board w/his back to u & we all pass notes wen he isn't looking? whoa! that wuz a giant run-on sentence. the crayzee english teach wudn’t like that.
wut wuz i sayin’? oh, i have actually been able 2 follow wut that boring teach iz sayin’ cuz i have had tyme 2 read ahead n the class materialz. he iz actually snarkin’ the course book, but u wudn’t know it cuz hiz delivery iz so bad. wen i figgered it out, he sed he iz doin’ a deadpan delivery & today’z teenagerz r 2 bizzy passin’ notes 2 realize hiz genius. nstead they pay 2 much attention 2 mr. shea, whose humour iz derived almost entirely frum sarcasm, 1 of the lowest formz of wit. i told the boring teach his delivery wuz not deadpan but dead-in-the-water delivery cuz it depended 2 much on his listeners’ familiarity w/the source material. he sed, “nevertheless mr. jones. u figgered it out. y iz that?” i sed, “it’s cuz my pre-gf iz 2 bizzy 2 spend tyme w/me, so i have xxtra tyme to study.” he sed, “who is ur pre-gf?” i sed, “rebeccah mcguire.” the teach wuz a little surprized by that. he sed, “u have bettah taste than i imagined, mr. jones. perhaps i shall give sum thot 2 ur comments ‘bout my delivery.”
i also have been workin’ ahead n mr. shea’z class, which seems 2 irrit8 him. he sed, “i am v. v. disappointed in u jeremy.” i sed, “y, mr. shea? i have been doin’ my work ahead of tyme.” mr. shea sed, “it iz v. hard 2b sarcastic w/a boy who duz work n advance. u usedta b 1 of my favourites wen u wud turn ur work n l8 & then make up sum wild xxcuse like, ‘i lost my work durin’ a québecois prison riot.’ i like a kid who acts like an adult & usez hiz brain. no othah kidz came up w/xxcuses like that.” i said, “sorry 2 disappoint u, mr. shea. do u wunt me 2 turn n my work l8?” mr. shea sed, “no jeremy. i simply have had 2 refocus my efforts on othahz. do u know a girl named april patterson?” i sed i did. mr. shea sed, “she iz so much fun. it haz taken her up 2 this month not 2 get lost on the way 2 class. i used 2 have 2 go & find her, cuz she wud get all turned around n the halls.” i sed, “ru sure we r talkin’ ‘bout the same april patterson? the 1 i know iz rilly smart?” mr. shea sed, “oh, she iz smart, but she haz a terrible sense of direction. imagine 8 months n a skool & still getting’ lost.”
so, i think the teachs like me bettah, but i wud h8 2 think that wud cause me 2 luk youngah. it must b sumthin’ else. mebbe sumthin’ w/enzymez, but it makes my head hurt 2 think ‘bout that. oh, i gotta dance sum more. b-lieve it or not, my future sis, who sed she h8s dancin’ rilly loves 2 tango & stepdance.
At 6:48 PM,
howard said…
April,
As I was leaving Sugar’s salon today, I saw an interesting sight down at Lilliput’s. Moira Kinney and Beatrice Alfarero were packing up the big train layout in the front window. I said to Beatrice, “What are you doing?” Beatrice said, “Nice dress Howard.” I said, “Thank you. It’s one of my favourites.” Moira said, “Beatrice and I have to work fast while John Patterson is in Mexico. If we get the train layout packed up and out of the store, then when he gets back, we won’t have to go through any negotiation about whether the trains go or stay.” I said, “Well I think you have a few weeks to do that.”
Beatrice said, “Nice earrings, Howard.” I said, “Thank you. I think they bring out my eyes.” Moira said, “You can never tell with Patterson vacations. Back in July, 2004, they went to Manitoba to visit Dr. Patterson’s family and nobody even knew they were gone. We have to act now. For all I know they could be back tomorrow.” I said, “I am pretty sure they won’t be back this whole week. Their daughter thinks it will be at least two weeks or longer. That’s what she told me when she visited our salon yesterday.”
Beatrice said, “Nice shoes, Howard.” I said, “Thanks. I think high heels show off my ankles to best effect.” Moira said, “I thought I saw April over there at the salon and I think I heard her too, but that might have been my imagination.” I said, “It probably was. Nevertheless, April thinks they will be gone for awhile.”
Beatrice said, “Nice wig, Howard.” I said, “Thank you. I like long hair. It helps disguise the fact I do not have a very pretty neck.” Moira said, “Despite what April told you, I want those trains gone before Dr. Patterson gets back. Otherwise, Dr. Patterson will start saying things like, ‘Maybe you can have the trains running around the ceiling.’ I have been waiting for years to buy this place so I could get rid of those trains and their constant choo-chooing, and I am not taking any chances.” I said, “That’s probably a good idea. I know the Pattersons changed their vacation plans at least 3 times recently and there is nothing to say that they wouldn’t do it again.”
Beatrice said, “Nice necklace, Howard.” I said, “You like it? It functions pretty well for a shampoo girl, because you don’t have to worry about it getting stained and it will pull off my neck easily should one of my clients get a little excited and grab it.” Moira said, “Last time they went on vacation, I fired our thieving employee Kortney Krelbutz the first day they were gone. You have to take advantage of the opportunities when they present themselves. I was so afraid Elly would hire her back when she returned. I hoped Elly would press charges against Kortney once she got back and I showed her the proof. But she didn’t. She kicked something instead. She is into suffering, but not into confrontation.” I said, “As I understand it, Mrs. Patterson felt bad for Kortney and that’s why she didn’t press charges.”
Beatrice said, “Are you wearing perfume, Howard?” I said, “No. But my work involves a lot of scented shampoos.” Moira said, “You dated Kortney didn’t you, Howard?” I said, “Yes. We were briefly involved, as you know.” Moira said, “I heard that Kortney was actually a guy.” I said, “I have heard that too.” Moira said, “I bet you wish you hadn’t dumped Beatrice now.” I said, “Dumped Beatrice? I assure you, I was the dumpee, not the dumper, and it happened long before I met Kortney.” Moira said, “Really? I heard differently.”
Beatrice said, “Excuse me, I am going to take these trains to the basement.”
That was how the conversation went. I thought you might find it interesting.
Howard K.
At 6:51 PM,
April Patterson said…
hm, that's sum interesting stuff abt our teachers, even if it prolly is not rel8ed 2 yr looking younger again, like u say. i'll hafta try reading ahead in the boring teacher's class 2 c if i can get his jokes.
apes
At 7:28 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i dunno if u wanna do that. i gotta a lotta nasty looks wen i laffed n that class. i wuz doin' sound stuff w/the drama club 2day, while they were doin' sword fites w/metersticks & i swear sum of them that r also n the boring teach’s class w/me were aimin' thoze metersticks @me.
At 7:54 PM,
howard said…
April,
Well, no pork tenderloin for Becky tonight. We have to go with chicken soup instead. If you could hear her voice right now, her greeting would have sounded like "heddo eberybody." Becky has a pretty good cold. Such is life when you're a school kid - the teachers pick these things up and spread them around the classroom, and it's very difficult to avoid catching whatever's going around. Becky may not be in school, tomorrow. It depends on how she feels. Right now she feels like sleeping.
Howard K.
At 9:11 PM,
April Patterson said…
jeremy, thanx 4 the tip abt not laffing @ thoze "jokes".
howard, sorry 2 hear abt becks feeling so bad. :(
apes
At 8:56 AM,
duncan anderson said…
Oh, man. Mr Malkmus foned my 'rents last nite abt my trip 2 Disney World w/ Bratto which is rilly my traffic study in Shelbyville. I hafta go ovah 2 Mr M's place on Sunday 4 my "flite." My mom gave me $ 2 buy sum clothes 4 the "trip" 'cos nothing fits me fr last summer an' I dunno what 2 do w/ the $. I hafta pack suits an' ties not Ts an' trunks. Only good thing abt 2day is I didnt hafta sit w/ Zandra @ drama club we were blocking scenes the hole time.
L8r.
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