Mom's Imaginary Exposition

So after Mom helped Mike with his homework book, she poured him a mug of coffee and put out a plate of chocolate chip cookies. Which she made me bake, BTW. And Mike was all, "Thanx 4 yr input on the book, Mom, it was a big help." Mom was, like, "U know me--I love a good story!" Mike, clutching the mug in a most girly fashion, asked, "How's Elizabeth? I haven't heard from her l8ly." How come we're all calling Liz "Elizabeth" these dayz? Mom sed "Well... She'z moved in2 a tiny apt which her cat h8's. She'z getting used to the new school..." Which xxpects regular attendance an' strict adherance 2 lesson planz, but Mom didn't say that part. She went on, "She thinx abt Mtigwaki, & she misses her boyfriend terribly. She sends countless messagez 2 him... And she tortures herself, wondering if she'z done the rite thing." Mike was all, "She'z been in touch w/U then!" And Mom was like, "No. I just imagine what's been going on. U know me... I love a good story." OMG, how sad and, like, totally pathological is that? But Eva, Dunc, I think this mite answer our question abt Y my mom keeps insisting U 2 R, like, a couple. She musta decided that wd make a gd story, and now she won't shake the idea loose! Sorry, guyz, it's darn-near imposs 2 get Mom 2 let go of sumthing like this.

Apes