Try "Undo", Liz!
So rite after sending an e-mail 2 Paul, Liz IM'ed me. It went like this:
HotTeachr81: April, I just e-mailed Paul.
ApesGuitrGrrl: Cube!
HotTeachr81: And I'm ready to kill that cat of mine!
ApesGuitrGrrl: ???
HotTeachr81: Well, I'd just sent an e-mail to Paul, where I wrote "Dear, Paul. I'm moved in here, but I sure miss my nice apartment in Mtigwaki. This place is miniscule, but I can deal... I share the kitchen with two other tenants, which isn't too bad 'cause I'm hardly ever "home." The school is walking distance. I have a class in the mornng and one in the afternoon."
ApesGuitrGrrl: Did you just copy an' paste that from yr "sent" folder?
HotTeachr81: Yes.
ApesGuitrGrrl: Thought so.
HotTeachr81: Anyway, that wasn't my whole message. That's just as far as I got before Shiimsa jumped on my keyboard, with a big KLAKK! and a "BIP-BIP-BANG!!!" And my message was LOST! Darn cat!
ApesGuitrGrrl: Maybe she wanted to send Paul a message of her own.
HotTeachr81: Probably but that's besides the point, April! The point is, the point. Oh, yes, the point is I stuck her in her carrier, latched the door, and reconstructed my message, from "Dear Paul," on, through the stuff I didn't get to write before, which I won't tell you now, as I've decided it's not your business.
ApesGuitrGrrl: Did U try right-clicking in yr message box of yr e-mail an' clicking "Undo"?
HotTeachr81: I can do that?
ApesGuitrGrrl: Yup.
HotTeachr81: Oh.
ApesGuitrGrrl: So wanna hear abt my band, an' work, an' my planz 4 August?
HotTeachr81: Not right now, April, I've got things to do!
[Then she logged off.]
NEway, I'm glad 2 B off of the Mike-talk for the mo, Rn't U?
Apes
HotTeachr81: April, I just e-mailed Paul.
ApesGuitrGrrl: Cube!
HotTeachr81: And I'm ready to kill that cat of mine!
ApesGuitrGrrl: ???
HotTeachr81: Well, I'd just sent an e-mail to Paul, where I wrote "Dear, Paul. I'm moved in here, but I sure miss my nice apartment in Mtigwaki. This place is miniscule, but I can deal... I share the kitchen with two other tenants, which isn't too bad 'cause I'm hardly ever "home." The school is walking distance. I have a class in the mornng and one in the afternoon."
ApesGuitrGrrl: Did you just copy an' paste that from yr "sent" folder?
HotTeachr81: Yes.
ApesGuitrGrrl: Thought so.
HotTeachr81: Anyway, that wasn't my whole message. That's just as far as I got before Shiimsa jumped on my keyboard, with a big KLAKK! and a "BIP-BIP-BANG!!!" And my message was LOST! Darn cat!
ApesGuitrGrrl: Maybe she wanted to send Paul a message of her own.
HotTeachr81: Probably but that's besides the point, April! The point is, the point. Oh, yes, the point is I stuck her in her carrier, latched the door, and reconstructed my message, from "Dear Paul," on, through the stuff I didn't get to write before, which I won't tell you now, as I've decided it's not your business.
ApesGuitrGrrl: Did U try right-clicking in yr message box of yr e-mail an' clicking "Undo"?
HotTeachr81: I can do that?
ApesGuitrGrrl: Yup.
HotTeachr81: Oh.
ApesGuitrGrrl: So wanna hear abt my band, an' work, an' my planz 4 August?
HotTeachr81: Not right now, April, I've got things to do!
[Then she logged off.]
NEway, I'm glad 2 B off of the Mike-talk for the mo, Rn't U?
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 6:52 AM
13 Comments:
At 6:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
You see that baby sis? After you made that comment about Mom's imagination being "sad" and "pathological", we find out that what she imagined seems to be happening. It's almost as if, by imagining these things, she's willing them into existence. Of course she'd need to have magical powers to do that, like some sort of witch. Possibly from Northern Ontario.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 7:23 PM,
April Patterson said…
mike, don't u have a big ol' book 2 write? rn't u bizzy, bizzy, bizzy?
apes
At 7:26 PM,
Anonymous said…
Never too busy for the wonderful women in my family, dear little sis!
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 8:00 PM,
Zandra Larson said…
Hi April,
Things are settling down at the library. This afternoon someone came in and sat for a long time upstairs in the 600s section. Duncan was shelving books and he thought the person looked suspicious, although he couldn't understand why they'd case the 600s for something to steal. I got a good look at them when they went to the magazine section. "It's Mrs. Patterson," I said to Duncan. He wasn't sure.
"There's something missing," he said. Anyway, after about an hour or so, the head librarian went up to look (she claimed she couldn't have her staff all obsessed over nothing). Duncan went up to shelve in the area the librarian was in. Your mother got up then and walked out to the front of the library, and when she went through the security gate it beeped. The librarian ran down and at that point grabbed your mother's bun and revealed your brother.
"I knew you couldn't be Elly Patterson--your lack of arm flapping proved that. What have you got in the bag?" Your brother was sulking, but produced two copies of Chatelaine, two of Cosmopolitan, and Lady Chatterley's Lover. They've got perfectly good, large libraries in Toronto, so why is your brother stealing books out of this one?
Zandra
Your brother's play seems to be sucking the life out of Charles Wallace. He can't even get interested in killing Sims lately.
At 8:46 PM,
April Patterson said…
omg, zandra, my bro is such a freakee-deakee! i dunno y he'z stealing boox in mboro instead just borrowing them in to. plus, thoze boox r alwayz showing up @ the used-book storez 4 like 25 cents apiece. he'z a total freak, eh?
apes
At 9:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
Little Sis and Friends,
This was all just a misunderstanding, of course. Mom was kind enough to lend me that "Mom-disguise" and her library card, after I was so cruelly and unfairly banned. I did not mean to "steal" those books, truly. Yes, I did put them in the bag I was carrying, but I'd fully intended to check them out just like any other responsible citizen. But that librarian was making me so nervous, I just plain "forgot" myself, and went outside. And then the librarian made that awful comment about Mom. Of course I was pouting by then!
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 9:02 PM,
April Patterson said…
oh, rite, all a misunderstanding. how 'bout u write one of yr hi-freakin'-larious columns abt this "misunderstanding", lol! just don't xxpect me 2 read it!
apes
At 9:03 PM,
April Patterson said…
oh, and i 4got 2 say b4, sorry 2 hear abt the play & its effect on yr bro, zandra. poor kid!
apes
At 9:05 PM,
Anonymous said…
A humourous article! What a marvelous idea! I'll start an outline right away!
No matter about your not reading it, little sis. Everyone in the Toronto-Mississauga-Milborough area will be reading it aloud to their friends, in jovial tones. It will be brilliant! Thanks for the suggestion, you are a true Patterson!
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 9:06 PM,
April Patterson said…
omg, i accidentally encouraged michael. 2 write sumthing st00pid. i'm gonna go soak my head.
apes
At 9:11 PM,
duncan anderson said…
What I want 2 no is y Mike didnt get arrested. If Id dun that, Id b @ the Mboro Youth Detention Centre 2nite w8ing 4 bail.
Oh man I cant stand this heat & humid much longer its worse than Barbados. Im going ovah 2 Horny Ts 4 sum ice capps & think of snow.
L8r.
At 9:15 PM,
duncan anderson said…
HOTTEACHR81,
INVITE THE MOUNTIE TO VISIT AND MAKE SURE HE BRINGS SOME FRESH FISH FOR AN APPETIZER.
At 9:40 PM,
April Patterson said…
dunc, that's a v. v. good question abt y mike didn't get arrested. 4 sum reason he an' luggie r all buddy-buddy.
apes
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