April's Real Blog

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Liz has a feeling she's not in Kansas her apt NEmore!

Liz sez that when she came home @ the end of her 1st day teaching @ the Glenallen school, she was thinking, "I'm xxhausted. All I want is a hot bath, a bowl of soup & a peaceful place 2 put my feet up." Then, after she'd put on her robe, all assuming the shower was free, she went in2 the bathroom and discovered I was using the shower. Then she wandered in2 the kitchen and Mom was peeling potatoes while the potato sed "Peel peel peel peel peel peel" and a big pot steamed on the stove. Then she went 2 the couch 2 lie down and found the dogz lying there, ea snoring a big "Z", & Edgar looked like a little person, lying on his back w/his head on a pillow an' everything. And Liz thot, "Right. ...I'm not in my apt NEmore." No duh! (Keep reminding yrself whose idea this was, Liz!)

Well, it was cube that Ger, Eva, Dunc, Luis, Jeremy, Vicki, & I all got a chance 2 eat lunch 2gether yesterday on our 1st day back 2 school. And it's so much better being a grade 10 than a grade 9, eh?

Apes

posted by April Patterson @ 7:02 AM  

16 Comments:

  • At 7:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Science, French, English and history are interesting this semester, man!

    Eva

     

  • At 1:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    What I don't understand is, why were you in the shower in the middle of the afternoon, it's weird, I only wanted one to relax, but what do you have to relax from, you are just a kid who has it easy, if I had my way you would have been down in the kitchen with Mom making the potatoes say "peel peel peel," then you would have been tired, ha ha!

    When I realized I wasn't in my apartment anymore I was upset, but now I'm laughing, I just realized how weird it is that I didn't notice that until after I'd been home for almost a week, isn't that funny? I'm laughing really hard right now.

    This morning I packed up a lot of the stuff in my classroom, the globe and the atlas and the dictionary and even my desk supplies like my stapler and tape dispenser and pencil sharpener, and at lunch I mailed them to Susan in Mtigwaki, they can use that stuff so much more than I can, it is so wasteful for every classroom to have their own stuff like that when we can just share, I already told Mrs. Greadie next door that I am going to be sharing her stuff with her, and from the way she looked at me I can tell she is surprised I would be so generous, I bet I get nominated for a teaching award!

    Liz

     

  • At 3:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Well this sucks, Mrs. Greadie stuck her head in my classroom this afternoon and said "The principal wants to talk to you," I was sure she'd gone straight to the principal to tell him about my generous gesture and to tell him to give me an award, well I was wrong, she did go to tell him right away, but to get me in trouble. The principal was very angry, he said "We do'nt have enough money as it is, and here you go giving your supplies away, it's unacceptable, now I will have to take money out of the emergency fund to replace the stuff you sent to the natives," I told him he could learn a lot from the native spirit of giving and I could teach him, I have a spirit name, White Goose, and am in touch with the native ways. He got very angry and said he didn't give a @#%! about native ways and that he would have "the school board and the PTA up his @$$ quick as lightning if he let this kind of %&*! slide right by," I warned him that wearing is a very bad habit that the native people do not indulge in at all, he could learn something from them after all, then he threw me out of his office and told me to wait outside, I could hear him on the phone talking to someone and he was saying "she is totally unacceptable" and "you promised me that Pattersons are perfect" and then I heard him all upset and he said "yes mistress" and hung up the phone, he came out in the hall to get me and we went back into his office and he said that I was lucky I wasn't fired, that his boss wouldn't let him do it, she insisted that I get to stay, but I had to stop giving away school supplies and wasting school money. I said okay, the natives are better off not having too many school supplies, having a lot of stuff just makes people greedy for more and they don't appreciate the more simpler pleasures of life like I learned from the natives. Then he said "Good my boss will be glad to hear we have ironed everything out, she has confidence in you so I guess I do too, just don't do it again," and I said "was that your boss on the phone before?" and he said yes and I said "but I thought the superintendent was a man and you called that person 'mistress'" and then he frowned and said "Get back to your class, Goose Girl" and I giggled and said "see you are learning from me already, you already understand native humor!"

    In the end I think it turned out to be a pretty good day, don't you, I stopped by Krystle's Kakes and Pies and got a box of cookies to celebrate.

    Liz

     

  • At 6:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, i dunno if i am gonna do the lunch w/u & eva & gerald & duncan & luis & vicki nemore. i thot it wud b fun, since i nevah rilly got 2 sit w/u guyz b4, but there were sum probz. wut wuz up w/u & eva 2day? u were all, “duncan iz so cool. thanx 2 him helpin’ me paint my room, my sis didn’t throw me outa my room. we r so gonna do the science route n our classes. we r so totally connected. i totally blend w/duncan. we can talk ‘bout nethin’. we've promised 2 know each othah all of our lives.” & then eva wuz like, “duncan iz a gr8 musician & he iz not afraid 2 show hiz feminine side & he wud nevah uze a cell fone & ignore me & he’z a cowboy just like the buffalo soldierz n the st8s. we've promised 2 know each othah all of our lives.” it wuz gettin’ duncan mbarrassed & hiz lips turned frum purple 2 a brite red.

    i asked gerald wut wuz goin’ on & he sed he didn’t know, but he wished he had helped u paint ur room, since it iz such a big deal 2u. wen i asked eva ‘bout it, she sed u & she were just lettin’ duncan how much he wuz appreciated iz all & i shouldn’t act like a jealous farmwoman. i wuz gonna ask zandra larson ‘bout it, but wen i saw her n the hall, she looked like she wuz evn madder than she usually looks. so i didn’t ask. neway, i hope u2 can talk ‘bout sumthin’ else 2morrow. i also kinda hope luis can stop hittin’ on vicki. she duz have a bf & he knowz it.

     

  • At 6:06 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    liz, the reason i was showering in the afternoon was that i'd just dun a kickboxing workout dvd. i wanna make sure i don't end up w/mom'z butt, gut, an' hips!

    it soundz like mayB u shd dial back a bit on telling yr principal and other teacherz abt how the native wayz r so much better. ppl get touchy abt that kinda thing. a buncha grade 9's just got in trub 2day 4 complaining 2 their teacherz abt how stuff was so much better in middle school an' all.

    apes

     

  • At 6:16 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    hey, jeremy, sorry eva an' i were laying on the dunc stuff so thick. dunc was feelin' kinda down, and eva an' i were trying 2 cheer him up. i promise we will talk abt other stuff 2morrow. and i won't quote my monthly letter.

    apes

     

  • At 6:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    My mom and I were on a walk in the Milborough Park, and we saw your sister. She was standing next to a park bench, and there were some pigeons on the bench. She had a whole package of cookies and she was mumbling to herself, “All I want is a box of cookies and to sit on a park bench, but I am not in the park in Mtigwaki anymore.” Mom asked her what the problem was, and your sister said, “The park bench has pigeons on it. In Mtigwaki, the park benches were always empty.” My mom said to your sister, “Shannon and I can shoo the pigeons away.” And so we did.

    Then your sister sat down and started eating the cookies. It was weird. After we left, my mom said to me, “That’s how you used to act when you were little, Shannon.” I said, “I wouldn’t shoo pigeons?” My mom said, “You would run into any kind of obstacle and it would completely shut you down. Thanks to years of work, you don’t do that anymore. Poor Elizabeth Patterson. To be this old, and she probably never got the right therapy for being special needs, with that awful mother of hers.” I said, “I asked April if her sister is special needs and she said no.” My mom said, “No offence to April, but she is not a trained professional.” I said, “Well, April did write in her Blog this morning about how her sister couldn’t take a shower because someone was in there, and how she couldn’t make a soup because someone was in the kitchen and she couldn’t sit on a chesterfield because dogs were already on the chesterfield.” My mom said, “Definitely special needs.” April, I know you are the nicest girl in Milborough, but maybe you should see if you can get your sister some help. My doctor is very good. I think your sister would like him.

    Love,
    Shannon Lake

     

  • At 6:30 PM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    I don’t know how to tell you this, but when Becky and I were walking her dogs by your house today, I saw Edgar, your dog, doing the strangest thing. He was out in the yard, lying completely straight back on his back and sleeping with a little “Z” coming out of his mouth. The oddest part was he was lying on top of a dog house, which was built in an A-frame style. It was so curious, I watched for awhile.

    Edgar then sprang to his feet and put on a World War I pilot helmet, and sat on top of the doghouse, like he was flying a plane. Then actual giant bullet holes appeared in the side of the doghouse. Then Edgar took off the pilot helmet and pulled out an old typewriter. A typewriter is what they used to use to type things before the age of computers and printers, just to let you know. Edgar started typing on the typewriter for awhile and seemed to be deep in thought.

    Then Becky made me start walking again, so I don’t know what happened next. I thought I should let you know. It was like nothing I had ever seen a dog do before.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 7:20 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    shan, liz gets v. offended whenev i suggest she shd get evaluated 4 special needs. remember, the last time i brot up the subj, she was all "they wdn't have let me b a teacher if i were special needs, so i'm not special needs."

    howard, i asked mom abt this strange stuff edgar was doing. she sed "the witch of the north was a huge 'peanuts' fan and she wanted edgar 2 do an homage 2 snoopy." i was like, "ok whatevs."

    apes

     

  • At 7:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Little sis. I see you are all about Lizardbreath again. You know losing awareness of your surroundings is not a good sign. It may be amusing to you, but to mom and dad, seeing Liz so sensitive and intense, it is pretty clear she needs something to ground her.

    Mom called me up and asked me with which of Liz’s friends in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) she had kept in contact. I told mom, to be honest, none of them except Anthony. Her friends Candace and Rudy are working their way around Europe again and are supposed to be back in town this fall. Her friend Dawn Enjo is happily and perpetually engaged in Ottawa. And her friend Shawna-Marie Verano, even though she lives in Milborough, hasn’t spoken to Liz since the New Years Eve party where she twisted her leg. Mom said, “Obviously Liz needs to spend time with Anthony for her own health.” I would never have thought spending time with Anthony would be a prescription of health for anyone, but mom says she knows best.

    Deanna and I have some “couple time” tonight. You may remember Deanna hired Jamie, the sister of one of her staff members to help with my son’s earaches and she would occasionally stay late for us to have “couple time.” Well a few weeks ago, Deanna and Ardith Narayan finally made up after 2 years, and Ardith has been taking our children to and from school. Deanna liked this situation a lot better than what had been happening with Jamie, because Jamie is young and unmarried and doesn’t have any children of her own, in other words—completely and hopelessly inexperienced. She actually suggested that using home remedies from Lovey to cure an earache, was not the best medical practice. And worst of all, Deanna caught her on the phone telling her mother how the children were doing. Deanna has been trying to avoid calling her mother to “chat” in order for us to have more time for ourselves, so she was livid with Jamie.

    Of course, we still needed our “couple time”, so the arrangement Deanna came to with Jamie is that she comes to baby-sit after the children are asleep and then she does the cleaning. I tried to explain to Deanna, if she wanted someone to clean, she could just pay someone to clean and not have to pay baby-sitting charges in addition to cleaning charges. But Deanna is really into this “couple time”, whenever we get a spare minute. It’s getting so if Weed and I want to spend any time together, we have to watch the kids in the kiddy pool. It’s fun to spend time with Weed, because we both enjoy the comfort of sitting with a friend who knows you so well that conversation just isn't necessary. Weed says I would get along great with a mute.

    As you may have noticed, Deanna’s sister Andrea never came to visit this summer, as Deanna had hoped. It’s no big surprise. We haven’t seen her since we got married, the fake ceremony, not the real one. Deanna’s mother, Mira Sobinski, keeps telling Deanna she needs to make up with Andrea and stop waiting for her to do it. Deanna says she and Andrea get along fine, and the real problem is her mother. “Women”! Sometimes I just don’t understand them. Sometimes I feel like Sheilagh Shaughnessy having to deal with her husband, Harvey Rood.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     

  • At 7:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Boozhoo (Hello).

    I read your writings about your sister getting disoriented in your house. It reminded me of one time when I was visiting her in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees). She came home from the Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) school and all she wanted was to take a shower, eat some soup, and put her feet up. She got in her robe and got her towel and stood outside her shower for awhile. I remember saying to her, “Why are you just standing there?” And my sweet girl said, “Right…I’m not in the house in Milborough anymore.” Then after her shower, she went to the kitchen and said to me, “Paul. Why haven’t you made potato soup for me?” I said to my sweet girl, “You said you wanted to make it yourself.” And she said, “If I were back in the house in Milborough, my ngashi (mother) would already be peeling potatoes for my potato soup.” I took it as a hint to start making potato soup, and then my sweet girl went to her chesterfield to sit down. On the chesterfield was Shiimsa lying flat on her back and snoring. I remember Elizabeth saying, “At last. Something feels right.” When you wrote your story about my sweet girl, it reminded me of that day.

    My friend, Susan Dokis, whom I call Chipper, got a call from your sister this evening, telling her she was going to get a package containing a globe, atlas, dictionary, a stapler, a tape dispenser, and a pencil sharpener, courtesy of the Glenallen Public School’s new appreciation of the native ways of doing things. Chipper thanked your sister and told her those items would be perfect to replace the ones of those which disappeared after your sister left Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) in July. Your sister is so thoughtful. It is no wonder I am so deeply in love with her. Chipper agrees too. She said the gift shows my sweet girl has a conscience.

    Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
    Constable Paul Wright

     

  • At 7:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, apology accepted frum u. eva sez she haz nothin' 2 apologize 4, cuz i shud't complain wen she wunts 2 help out a friend. "a real cowboy duzn't turn hiz back on another cowboy n need" she sez. i think eva iz kinda mad @me, rite now.

     

  • At 7:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    I didn't mean to make your sister mad, saying your sister might be special needs. My mom said if she spends this whole week remembering she isn't in her old town or her old work, then you may want to step in. I can't think how you would put up with a whole week of that.

    Love,
    Shannon Lake

     

  • At 8:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Relax, Jeremy, man! Just bein' a cool cowgirl!

    Eva

     

  • At 8:23 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    aw, mike, mom cd not b more wrong abt liz needing 2 spend time w/anthony. she needs the opposite of that! instead, i think she shd focus on getting along w/her new work colleagues, getting used 2 the new curriculum and students, and reconnect w/dawn, shawna-marie, and candace.

    shan, i can try stepping in, but it mite not do ne good. if liz gets an idea in her head, she's got a tuff time letting go.

    apes

     

  • At 11:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Little sis. Reconnect with Dawn, Shawna-Marie and Candace? Are you kidding? Dawn has a job, doesn’t live at home, and has a fiancé. Shawna-Marie has a job, doesn’t live at home, and has a boyfriend who lives in the same town she does. Candace definitely does not live at home, and we are all glad about that, and she and her boyfriend, Rudy, have the financial wherewithal to spend months backpacking around Europe. How could they even relate to Elizabeth?

    Now, Anthony is a completely different story. He has basically the same job working for Gordon Mayes (thanks to mom and dad) that he has had since he graduated from high school. He wouldn’t have a house if Gordon hadn’t cut him a fantastic deal on his old house. And his marriage recently failed. He should have no trouble relating to Liz and her tales of jobs received because the employers were desperate, and boyfriends constantly left in the lurch. They are like two peas in a pod.

    No April. If anyone is going to get Liz back on her feet and able to recognize her surroundings, it’s Anthony Caine. Mom is completely right on this one.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     

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