Force Field Lifts and Eva Tries to Cheer Me Up
So, Mom and Liz made their arrangements 2 have Liz move back in, and I was feeling pretty bummed. I was all, "Mom, I wish I cd get outta the house and @ least spend sum time w/Eva talking abt this Liz sitch!" Mom looked @ me, and I guess I looked xxtra miserable. She made a fone call and then sed 2 me, "OK, go! The field is lifted 4 U, but just 4 a few hrs, so hurry!"
I left the house fast and called Eva. She was rite over. We started 2 take a walk, and when I told her what was bothering me, she was all, "Having yr sister move back home won't B so bad, April." And I was like, "Really? Well, U don't know Elizabeth. She'll B on my case all the time abt my room, my stuff, my life... An' it's not like I don't already have a mother!" Then Eva got all practical, like "Well, it's gonna happen, so U'd better start thinking positive. ...What wd B the coolest thing abt having Elizabeth around?" And I thot a bit B4 saying, "She does have a wicked MP3 collection." And Eva was all, "U C? Rite there is a plus!"
Thanx 4 trying 2 cheer me up Eva. This helped a lot more than a speech abt cowgirlz defending their territory wda. U R a cube friend, even tho when I first saw U this last time, I thot 4 a sec that U were my cousin Laura.
Apes
I left the house fast and called Eva. She was rite over. We started 2 take a walk, and when I told her what was bothering me, she was all, "Having yr sister move back home won't B so bad, April." And I was like, "Really? Well, U don't know Elizabeth. She'll B on my case all the time abt my room, my stuff, my life... An' it's not like I don't already have a mother!" Then Eva got all practical, like "Well, it's gonna happen, so U'd better start thinking positive. ...What wd B the coolest thing abt having Elizabeth around?" And I thot a bit B4 saying, "She does have a wicked MP3 collection." And Eva was all, "U C? Rite there is a plus!"
Thanx 4 trying 2 cheer me up Eva. This helped a lot more than a speech abt cowgirlz defending their territory wda. U R a cube friend, even tho when I first saw U this last time, I thot 4 a sec that U were my cousin Laura.
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 7:00 AM
16 Comments:
At 11:41 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
I can't believe you are being such a jerk about me moving home, I thought we were friends, I will never confide in you again, you are so mean and horrible and bratty, if I act like a second mom to you it's because you need one, you act like a huge spoiled brat, just wait until I get home, if you try that crap on me I will beat you up just like I did last time.
Liz
At 1:05 PM,
Anonymous said…
You tell her, Liz.
Speaking as a widely-acknowledged really great parent, one of the biggest challenges we parents face is the lack of gratitude from our children. The only real solution, as your mom told me, is to just ignore them until they start appreciating you. She says it's really made a big difference with April, so now I do this with Francoise all the time.
You should be hugging your sister and buying her a really nice present instead of complaining, April. Liz is a perfect example of someone as a model for you, behavior-wise, unlike certain roadside, beef-jerky stealing, stuck up little backcountry singers I could mention. Her hair always looked nice too. Liz never wasted her school years going whumpa-boompa-doomp with a bunch of kids in clothes either too large or too small, and look where she is now! Teaching in one of the top schools, only 25km from one of the top communities in all Canada. Nor did she touch herself, which everyone knows leads to acne. I "gave in" way too often and I still have the scars today. You should have roses in your cheeks, not rosacea.
Listen to your sister and learn, April. She's wise beyond her years. She's even been given a spirit name, something that very few civilized people ever get.
Anthony
At 4:16 PM,
April Patterson said…
hmph!
apes
At 4:17 PM,
Anonymous said…
Liz,
I think April just needed to vent to someone outside of the family.
Eva
At 4:34 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i’m glad u hadda a good convo w/eva. eva wuz lookin’ hott 2day & told her so. i sed, “how did april look?” eva sed, “well, jeremy. she wuz wearin’ a peasant blouse w/capri pants. that shud tell u wut u needta know.” it duzn’t rilly. evn wen i google it, i don’t c nethin’ ‘bout lookin’ bad or good.
i’m kinda surprized u wud like the same musick az ur sis. i don’t remembah u evah talkin’ ‘bout it xxcept 1 tyme wen ur mom sed she didn’t like ur sis’ taste n musick. i figger ur sis must like sum good tunez, if ur mom duzn’t like them.
i know ur kinda mad ur sis iz movin’ back in, but i don’t think ur c-in’ the big pic. ur mom iz gonna b so bizzy tryin’ 2 help ur sis w/her luv life, she’z not gonna have ne tyme 2 get n ur way. &ur sis iz gonna b so bizzy tryin’ 2 keep ur mom outa her luv life, she’z not gonna have ne tyme 2 get n ur way either. i don’t think ur sis iz gonna b that much of a prob. ok. i sed sumthin’ else positive 4u. eva sez we can go out now. last weekday b4 skool & my mom iz outa the house. i am rilly gonna miss this, next week.
At 4:40 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to have too many mothers. My big brother Blair is always about my room, my stuff and my life. I know I am special needs and I need the help, but I can’t wait to get my Toward Independent Living (TIL) certification. Someday, I am going to help my brother with something, instead of the other way around all the time.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 4:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. Your friend Eva, appears to be a much more intelligent and well-spoken friend than your prior best friend, the slatternly Becky McGuire. Plus mom tells me she is biracial, which I consider to be a step up the ethnicity ladder from Becky’s Irish / Icelandic background. Bravo! Good friend choice. Now tell me. How much does she look like Cousin Laura? Is she just as manly?
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 5:02 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings about the conversation with your friend about your sister moving in. I don’t know why you think these things about my sweet girl. When I have my phone conversations with her, she does not get on my case about my house, my job, or life. We hardly talk about those things. It would surprise me if your sister wanted to talk about those things with you, if she doesn’t talk about them with me.
I thought you liked spending time with your sister. I know she took you last month to Ikea to buy things for your room. I remember when she was still living in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees), she said she was looking forward to “hanging out” with you, and taking you to the Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto, and to music concerts. Those sounded like good things to me.
Your sister is a wonderful woman. I must tell you I am jealous you will get to see her so much. After she moves in, you will see more of your sister in one week than I have seen all year. I miss your sister a lot.
I mentioned your problems with your sister’s move to my friend Susan Dokis, whom I call Chipper. Chipper agreed with me. She said, “Based on the school records and reports from parents I have seen, I don’t think your girlfriend’s sister has to worry about your girlfriend paying any attention to the details of her sister’s life at all.”
You see. There is nothing to worry about. You and Elizabeth are going to have a great time together.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 5:32 PM,
April Patterson said…
paul, liz an' i get along when she'z not living w/us, but living w/us changez her. i'm not sure y.
shan, i think u r gonna luv having yr til. then no1 in yr fam will b able 2 boss u around nemore!!!
mike, it's just the hair, really, no manliness.
jeremy, thanx 4 trying 2 say nice stuff 2 help me feel better.
apes
At 5:33 PM,
April Patterson said…
advance.
At 5:39 PM,
Luann DeGroot said…
Apes,
I know what u mean; there's a difference between hanging out w/your older sibling 'n' living w/them. I bet my bro 'n' i would get along loads better if he would just move out someday.
From what i've heard about Liz's macaroni'n'cheese housekeeping, i don't think she has much room 2 rag on ur bedroom. That would b like my bro lecturing me about diet 'n' exercise or hair styles.
Luann
At 5:51 PM,
April Patterson said…
yeah, gd pt abt liz an' housekeeping, luann! what happs is that mom keeps everything all clean, and then liz kinda 4gets that she, liz, isn't the 1 who got it that way!
apes
At 7:53 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. I seriously doubt that Lizardbreath will ever forget who does the cleaning around your house, anymore than you could. I remember during my days in the Sharon Park Drive house, mom used to regularly trumpet out her cleaning accomplishments to anyone in the house who could hear and people outside the house also. Lawrence told me once he could be in his house and he would know what room of our house was being cleaned by mom. You may remember how mom celebrated the 2006 New Year’s Day, when she had lunch with 2 women she barely knew, to discuss how she had instructed dad on proper laundry folding. Everyone knows mom is the obsessive cleaner in our family, and Liz is the slob. Don’t worry. Liz can’t possibly pull off that deception. No one in Milborough would believe it.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 10:43 PM,
Anonymous said…
Mike Patterson, you deserve to have something really horrible happen to you for being so cruel to me over the years, I'm not sure what exactly, but I want it to hurt really really bad. I called up Paul and I asked him, "Can you help me think of some way to get back at Mike for all the mental suffering he has made me go through?" and Paul said, "Well, I could take him out into the woods and 'disappear' him," and I got all excited, I said, "Really?" and then Paul said, "No, not really--I was kidding, didn't you know I was kidding? I thought you were kidding." I was very disappointed and after that Paul wouldn't help me think up any more ways, he got very uncooperative.
I can't wait to be home with my mom, it will be just like old times, I can't wait to eat her casseroles and hear her advice about my teaching, I'm sure she will be so helpful, she was never a teacher in a school but a mom is a teacher too, you know, I'm sure she will have wonderful advice. Combined with my knowledge of native ways, I know mom's advice will help me do great in my new job.
Liz
At 2:25 AM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
Big sis. It’s so nice of you to care enough about me to want to have your constable boyfriend kill me. Having a boyfriend in such a violent career has clearly affected your ability to reason. I don’t blame you. My downstairs neighbour, Melville Kelpfroth, has an enormous collection of books, essays, photographs and films on the subject of war. Sometimes I can feel the effect of the devilish material that haunts their habitat below mine, but fortunately I don't have to kiss or hug Melville Kelpfroth. I can’t imagine how it must disturb you to be physically intimate with a purveyor of human carnage, as constables are known to be. Given this personal and emotional torture, I can fully understand why you would flee him to go back to Milborough and the safety of hearth and home, where a knight armed with a bushy moustache and a cinnamon bun can rescue you. And of course, as you say, mom can help you with teaching too. She has been a marvelous assistance to me in my writings about Sheilagh Shaughnessy, after all.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 3:49 AM,
Anonymous said…
Mike,
No, you don't understand, the people of northern Ontario are natives, they have very gentle and peaceful ways, Paul is more like a counsellor and a friend to people who have a little too much to drink in Spruce Narrows and get into arguments you know they will only regret the next day. He is also like a innkeeper putting up lost travellers like Mom who need a bed and a hot meal, that is a important part of his job too. He has never shot anyone or even drawn his gun, he believes he can solve any problem with his gentle words, I am sure he is right, you just don't understand native ways like me. I have a spirit name and you don't, that's the difference.
Liz
Post a Comment
<< Home