Lizzie's Back!
Aw, man, my feet R sore from all the stomping Ger did on them during the Viking-ballroom dancing he insisted on doing w/me @ Vicki's party last nite. I tried 2 convince him that his kinda dancing didn't go w/the music, but he went all alpha male on me an' wdn't listen. Howard, thanx 4 giving him thoze lessons after Gordie "accidentally" broke up our dancing w/his sk8bd. It was fun 2 actually dance 2 Burnt Butt Casserole's actual music 4 the resta the nite! Howard, did U and Becks manage 2 get Nolan home OK? And did Becky's shoes clean up OK?
NEway, Liz is back. Dad helped her move alla her stuff back in (ALL of it!), and then she was, like, holed up in the guest room w/Shiimsa. She told me that she sat on the bed thinking, "I used 2 have my own place--and now I'm back in my parents' house again. How strange." Then mom yelled, "Soup's on, girls! Come an' get it!!" (OMG MOM sed AN'?!?!?!?!) And as Liz walked down the stairs, she sed she bugged her eyez out a bit and thot, "It's as though I never left."
Liz has me a lil confused. She chose 2 move back here, but now she'z feeling all mopey abt it, kinda acting like she had no choice. If she feels this way, she oughta start looking 4 a new apt!
Edit: I almost 4got 2 mention, we're having a family cookout this afternoon, 4 Labour Day. Mike an' Dee R gonna B by around noon w/the kiddlez, and Mike is gonna stand side by side w/Dad as they try an' fig out howta cook on the grill, LOL!
Apes
NEway, Liz is back. Dad helped her move alla her stuff back in (ALL of it!), and then she was, like, holed up in the guest room w/Shiimsa. She told me that she sat on the bed thinking, "I used 2 have my own place--and now I'm back in my parents' house again. How strange." Then mom yelled, "Soup's on, girls! Come an' get it!!" (OMG MOM sed AN'?!?!?!?!) And as Liz walked down the stairs, she sed she bugged her eyez out a bit and thot, "It's as though I never left."
Liz has me a lil confused. She chose 2 move back here, but now she'z feeling all mopey abt it, kinda acting like she had no choice. If she feels this way, she oughta start looking 4 a new apt!
Edit: I almost 4got 2 mention, we're having a family cookout this afternoon, 4 Labour Day. Mike an' Dee R gonna B by around noon w/the kiddlez, and Mike is gonna stand side by side w/Dad as they try an' fig out howta cook on the grill, LOL!
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 7:22 AM
29 Comments:
At 9:49 AM,
howard said…
April,
My feet are so sore. I hope it was worth it, to get Gerald’s dancing straightened out last night. I guess you were up too late to help your sister move in, since you said your dad was the one helping her.
Becky and I did get her boyfriend, Nolan home. This last week doing all the weight-lifting to help me get through your sister’s return to Milborough made it easy. Nolan seemed like he was light as a feather. His mother was not very happy with Becky to see the state he was in, but I explained the situation with the spiked punch, and she seemed to understand. As for Becky’s shoes, they are ruined. I am been working on them all morning and I don’t see anyway to restore them. I would be more concerned, if she didn’t have 1000 more in her shoe closet.
It’s a good thing you are doing your own Labour Day celebration with your family. With Becky’s mom out of the country, her dad has decided to do a family gathering with the Icelandic favourites of Brennevin and rancid shark meat and he has invited over a lot of his friends, including your boyfriend Gerald. I think you would have been invited too, except for your family obligation. I think I am going to hole up in the guest bedroom until they leave.
Howard K.
At 9:51 AM,
Anonymous said…
april, back 2 skool 2morrow. pleaze tell me ur takin’ the bus & not gettin’ a ride frum ur sis 2 skool. it wud b strange 2cu b-ing driven by ur sis. 2day w/eva iz not goin’ v. well. she sed 2 me, “wen skool starts, jeremy. don’t b surprized if uc me havin’ lunch w/april & gerald & duncan & luis.” i sed, “y iz that?” eva sed, “the band wunts 2 have lunch 2gethah.” i asked her y & she sed, “jeremy. the band hazta stick 2gethah. if they had lunch w/othah peeps, then it wud b az if rebeccah nevah left.” we kinda hadda fite ‘bout that. now skool iz startin’ back, it’s like i used 2 have my own gf – & now i’m back 2 havin’ 2 worry ‘bout her tryin' 2b w/duncan again. how strange.”
At 9:52 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
When I think about your sister moving in with your mom and dad, I think about this dream I have sometimes. In the dream, I got my Toward Independent Living (TIL) certification and I have moved into my own apartment. Then I am in bed with a cute guy and the police break into my room. They say, “Shannon Lake. You have been found guilty of having a brain and using it. We are taking away your brain and you will live with your parents for the rest of your life.” Then a surgeon puts me on a table and he starts cutting into my head. But I am not fighting him. All I do is lie there and say, “He’s cutting my brain out. How strange.” Then I usually wake up. This dream scares me a lot. I hope your sister does not have bad dreams like mine.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 9:54 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings about your noos (father) helping your sister move back into your house. Now she is back in your house, it seems strange for me to tell you what she told me she is doing in your house. Your sister says when she is on the phone with me you are probably listening in, just like it used to be when she used to live there before and talked on the phone to her boyfriends. She says it is like she never left. So, if I start repeating things you have already eavesdropped and heard, then you can tell me to stop writing those things to you.
I think my sweet girl was a little mad when you and your ngashi (mother) did not help her move, so it was just her and her noos (father). Then she said she remembered that it is not a woman’s place to do heavy lifting. Then she wondered why your ngashi (mother) did not ask for help in the kitchen making soup, but then she remembered that it was a wiijiiwaagan (wife’s) responsibility to make the meals and since she was not a wiijiiwaagan (wife), she would not be asked. I told my sweet girl I plan to do most of the cooking when we finally live in the same house, so we could have something other than Kraft Dinner and Oreos every night. Your sister seemed confused about this. I hope living in your house will help my sweet girl improve her diet.
I got to see my friend Susan Dokis, whom I call Chipper, this weekend between my work shifts. She said after she moved into the teacherage in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) where your sister used to live, she sat on her bed and thought to herself, “I used to live in a dormitory with many other students-and now I have my own place. How wonderful. I am glad I left home.” I made her dinner and we talked about old times. She said to me, “Suds (her nickname for me). If you get that transfer to Toronto, are you going to move in with Elizabeth’s family too?” I said, “Elizabeth said they have another bedroom I could move into.” Chipper said, “Would you actually do that?” I said, “If that’s what Elizabeth wants, I will.” Chipper said, “Suds. I hope that never, ever happens. In fact, I will do everything I can to make sure that never happens.” I said, “Miigwech (thank you), Chipper. I would rather have my own place with Elizabeth.” It’s good I have Chipper to support my ideas. Can you imagine me moving into your ningitiziim (parents’) house with you? It would be strange.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 10:08 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
I suppose your comment about dad’s and my outdoor grill cooking is in reference to what happened 2 years ago. I can assure you this year’s burgers will show the improvement of 2 years knowledge gained from outdoor grilling on the grill dad gave us. They will not be nearly as burnt. I have gotten good enough, so it is just a light, carbon crust.
From what you wrote, I see that the Lizardbreath got dad to help her move instead of using my suggestions of Lawrence Poirier and Nick Brown. In retrospect, that was a pretty good idea. Deanna and I found, after Lawrence and Nick helped us move, some parts were missing out of our bed, and it made the bed squeak. When I talked to Liz, she said she didn’t have any problems like that during her move. It made me wonder if Dee and I weren’t the butt of a little practical joke from Lawrence and Nick. After all, how hard can it be to move a bed up a flight of stairs and keep the parts together? When I mentioned this to Lawrence, he said, “Mike, it’s been over a year since we helped you move. Are you just now figuring this out?” I probably should have been mad at Lawrence and Nick, but Sheilagh Shaughnessy told me this wonderful light-hearted story about 2 mischievous packrats, named Larry and Nicky who invaded her farmhouse and were shot to death by her war veteran husband. I think it will make a great addition to my book.
In any case, it was good to read Liz’s thoughts about her move back. She appears to be the same deep thinker I remember from all the years I lived with her. As a deep thinker, Liz makes an excellent school teacher.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 11:16 AM,
April Patterson said…
shannon, omg, what a terrible dream! i'll bet u r happy 2 wake up fr. that one! i dunno if liz has bad dreamz like that. if she does, she hasn't told me.
i'm sorry 2 hear abt becky's shoes, howard. @ least they weren't her favourite pair. i invited ger 2 our cookout, but he sed he'd already rsvp'ed 2 becky's dad and there were no backsies.
jeremy, as far as i know, liz will not give me a ride. hey, mayB u cd sit w/us @ lunch sumtymez?
paul, i have much better thingz 2 do than eavesdrop on lizzie's convos on the fone. but she doesn't believe me. don't worry, if u write abt yr convos w/liz, that will b the 1st i know abt them. it's cube that susan is such a good friend 2 u!
mike, if u have gotten esp. good @ bbq, dad mite b a bit disappointed. u know how he is abt traditions. btw, doesn sheilagh ever tell u storiez that r not sum kinda spinoff fr. yr own life?
apes
At 11:18 AM,
April Patterson said…
"does", not "doesn".
apes
At 1:00 PM,
April Patterson said…
so, mike an' dad r huddled over the grill having sum kinda argument abt how 2 grill the burgerz. liz and dee r arguing abt cole slaw, tuna salad, and egg salad. mom is trying 2 work her digital cam, and i'm entertaining the littlez. merrie wants 2 play a game called "'tend u r attic guy". soundz a lil weird, but she'z abt 2 xxplain the rulez.
apes
At 1:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. Since Sheilagh Shaughnessy is a Canadian war bride, obviously she does not tell me stories which only relate to my life. For example, she would not tell me a story about having an argument with her father over how to cook burgers. Fortunately for everyone, I won and the burgers are nice and crispy, instead of the crunchy style, which dad prefers.
I want to tell you that my children really like playing with their Auntie April. You are going to make a great mom some day. You make a nice contrast to Auntie Elizabeth who seems to want to spend the day looking around the yard and saying, “I used to have my own back yard—and now I’m back in my parents’ back yard again. How strange.” I think my children are a little scared of her. I hope Liz snaps out of it soon.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 2:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i wud luv 2 sit w/u & the rest of the peeps who usually sit w/u sumtyme. eva sez that since i do sound & lite 4 rebeccah, it mite break w/the "band sits 2gethah @lunch" thing, she thinks u guyz have. eva sez mebbe i cud do it wen no1 iz lookin'.
ovah @my place, future dad & future sis r here doin’ bbq w/eva & her ‘rents. future sis keeps lookin’ @eva’z ‘rents & sayin’, “i’ve seen u sumwhere b4.” eva’z ‘rents r like, “i dunno where.” wen she iz not talkin’ ‘bout recognizin’ eva’z ‘rents, future sis talks ‘bout how she spent the summah ovah n kenya, doin’ this neat summah study for high school kidz. she sed 2 eva, “ur last name ‘abuya’ iz spelled almost like ‘abuja’, the capital city of kenya.” eva looked @her ‘rents & sed, “mebbe if sum1 had changed more letters n our name, it wudn’t b so obvious the similarity between ‘abuja’ & ‘abuya’.” mom sed, “oh like wen jones usedta b johnson, the welch shortened the english form of “son of john”. eva sed, “sumthin’ like that.”
u wud kinda laff @1 thing that happed. eva iz wearin’ like a bikini top & shorts. her ‘rents were all ovah her 4 dressin’ that way. u’ll luv this. eva’z dad sed, “ru tryin’ 2 make ur bf go crayzee n luv w/u?” & eva sed, “yes. dad. thass xxactly wut i am tryin’ 2 do.” i cud tell eva’z dad wunted 2 tell her 2 go home & change clothez, but he didn’t. it wuz pretty funny. he looked rilly mad.
At 2:22 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
I also have a dream where I have a cat, which I can’t have because of my allergies. The cat is hiding in the shadows of my room, but when I go to pick it up, it turns into a Goodfellow’s Tree Kangaroo. I don’t know what that dream means at all.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 2:23 PM,
howard said…
April,
I must say the summer your boyfriend spent at “soccer camp” has really improved his axe-throwing ability and his ability to consume large quantities of Brennevin and rancid shark meat. He has kept the guys here riveted in their seats with his very dramatic retelling of Njal's Saga, which he has memorized over the summer. Thorvald McGuire, Becky’s father, keeps going on about how his adopted son is doing him proud. I think Becky is a little perturbed by the situation. And by perturbed, I mean she has challenged Gerald to an axe-throwing, rancid shark-eating, and Brennevin-drinking competition, kind of an Icelandic triathlon. I predict it is going to be a long night with Becky, recovering from this competition. I only wish the prize to the winner of the competition did not involve me, but it does. I am going to put my sore feet up in the air and hope the situation doesn’t end as badly as I think it will.
Howard K.
At 2:25 PM,
April Patterson said…
i hafta say, mike, the crispy burgers are way tastier than the crunchy-burnt dad-style burgerz. mayB when dad stops pouting, he'll admit it.
i'm having lots of fun playing w/merrie an' robin. tho u're rite, they seem 2 find liz a bit scary. merrie asked me y auntie liz is so mopey. and then robin started saying "mopey! mopey!" and merrie was all, "mopey-dopey! mopey-dopey!" and robin joined in. uh-oh, liz is running over 2 u now, lookin' kind of upset. i think she's gonna ask u 2 make them stop shouting "mopey-dopey!"
apes
At 2:35 PM,
April Patterson said…
jeremy, i have a feeling the best dayz 4 u 2 sit w/us will b dayz i'm not writing abt school in my blog. i'm not sure y that is, tho.
shannon, i dunno. sumtymez shiimsa loox kinda like a goodfellow's tree kangaroo. mayB yr brain is picking up on sum kinda liz vibe.
howard, yeah, i can c how that cd turn out bad.
apes
At 3:30 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. I am quite relieved to have the support of a family member for the crispy burgers. Deanna insists that burgers should not be hard or crispy in any way. In some ways she is still new to Patterson family traditions of cooking, even though we have been married for almost 5 years. At least mom is not getting her way when she suggested we use pastries instead of hamburger buns.
I had to handle Elizabeth’s request for my children to stop saying “Mopey- Dopey” to her as you predicted. Of course after I did that, Liz said, “I used to have children to taunt me with their Native humour and look through my window at everything I did and make funny, but wise comments about it—and now I’m back in my parents’ yard again, with a niece and a nephew making fun of me. How strange. It’s as though I never left.” I tried to explain to her that until this summer she had never actually played with my children, but she is such a state, I don’t think she heard me.
I think mom is trying to stop her from going back to her room again.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 3:34 PM,
April Patterson said…
dee mite b rite abt the burgerz, but crispy is such an improvement over dad's burgerz!
liz was just muttering sumthing abt how if she curls up in bed and squeezes her eyes shut, she can pretend she's still in mtig. i reminded her that she left there cuz she was homesick, but she sed, "it figures u just don't understand!" and stomped off 2 talk 2 mom.
apes
At 3:41 PM,
howard said…
April,
Normally, I would put your boyfriend at a distinct advantage over Becky when it came to a rancid shark meat-eating, Brennevin-drinking, and axe-throwing contest. However, Becky is smart like a fox, or an Icelandic fox, anyway. She started the contest with the Brennevin drinking and as each mug of Brennevin went her way, she seemed to spill quite a bit of it. She and Gerald were several mugs into it, when after several warnings, Thorvald declared "Becky-Thora is cheating by not drinking all of her Brennevin and must forfeit the Brennevin-drinking part of the contest." They are into the rancid shark-eating part of the contest now, and I have gotten the impression your boyfriend is not going to stay conscious long enough to beat Becky. I will let you know how it turns out.
Howard K.
At 3:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. Great! Thanks to Liz acting weird, mom has declared she must make some "Sploit" soup to return her back to normal. I was really hoping not to have to eat any of mom's "Sploit" soup today. It doesn't taste any better than back in the days when she used to call it "Spoiled" soup.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 3:54 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, eva sez ur idea soundz good 2 her. she sez wen u rite 'bout skool n ur blog, she haz this feelin' that a lot more peeps r watchin' us than they do normally. so, i will check ur blog everyday & if ur ritin' 'bout skool, i'll have lunch w/rebeccah mebbe. now she iz d8in' that nolan guy, she duzn't seem az irrit8ed az she usedta. but if ur not ritin' 'bout skool i can sit w/u & eva.
At 4:01 PM,
April Patterson said…
mike, i think i feel one of my "clumsy aypo" episodes coming on! like, y'know, i'll b picking up a pot of sploit soup and, whoops, i spill it down the sink! oh noooooooes, no more sploit soup! clumsy aypo!
jeremy, soundz like a plan!
apes
At 4:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. Excellent plan. My children had another plan to get Liz out of bed. They have discovered that if they let Edgar into Liz's room, that the antics between Shiimsa and Edgar are enough to get her up. I wonder where Dixie is though. I haven't seen her the whole time we have been here.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 4:47 PM,
howard said…
April,
Much to my surprise, your boyfriend managed to stay conscious during the rancid shark-eating contest. Thorvald declared it a draw between Becky and Gerald, because they both started vomiting during the course of it. Neither of them looks very good right now. I don't know if they will go onto the axe-throwing part of the competition.
I will keep you informed,
Howard K.
At 4:48 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, eva thot of a prob. she sed sumtymez u remembah thingz n ur blog that happed dayz b4. how am i gonna know if the day we r eatin' lunch iz a day u mite wanna rite 'bout l8er?
At 5:43 PM,
April Patterson said…
mike, gramps an' iris decided they wanted 2 attend a cookout @ the odefoax home insteada coming here 2day, but gramps wanted dixie there w/them. @ least that's what mom told me.
good idea abt edgar, that worked v. well. mom is totally pissed i spilled the soup, but dad just passed me a ten-spot!
jeremy, i just have a feeling that if i write abt stuff that happs during lunch, it will just turn out u were sitting sumwhere else that day. patterson intuition!
howard, yeow, that doesn't sound v. good!
apes
At 6:09 PM,
Anne said…
Whew...just getting done putting the house back 2gether. All I can say is, I didn't think I'd have to call a hazmat team. :-| The CCOHS site has been a big help, tho.
So Apes, if yr forced 2 rite about yr school lunch convos, I worry that I'll have 2 sit w/Nikki "Abba! Ace of Base!" Simcox on those days since those force-fields keep us all from being @ the same table. Maybe I'll tutor students n the Integrated Program room during lunch.
Vicks
At 7:07 PM,
April Patterson said…
yeah, i noticed nikki's alwayz tryin' 2 b yr bff whenev u don't sit w/us. mayB we'll fig out a better strategy, tho.
apes
At 7:09 PM,
Anonymous said…
vicki, if u get force fielded away frum april & i get force fielded away frum eva durin' lunch, i'll sit w/u, so u don't hafta sit by nikki simcox. prolly gordie will sit w/u2, if he'z not n hospital.
At 7:29 PM,
Anne said…
Thanx, guys! I feel kinda bad bcause Nikki's nice. It's just that she's on a constant Mountain Dew buzz.
If Gordie's out of the hospital he & Malcolm r figuring out more sk8board stunts during lunch. Otherwise he'd sit w/me, he said.
Vicks
At 2:26 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Well, people keep pestering me to hear about my first few days of teaching from the end of last week, now I will tell you so you will have something to write about tomorrow for your blog, I didn't want to tell you because I'm still kind of mad, but Mike says you need material despritely.
Okay well what happened the first day was a little weird, we start right out by teaching about the geography of Canada, in particular the rivers and what provinces they go through, that is very important information to know, fishing and other river activities are an important part of the native economy, I was very glad to see that Glenallen already was willing to let me make Native ways a big part of my teaching. Then after teaching about the longest river which is the Mackenzie River in the Northwest Territories then I went to the teachers lounge to talk to some of the people there. The principal asked me how I liked teaching there and I told the truth, that it would take me a really long time to get used to teaching in a school with so much stuff, the principal admitted that he didn't think it was enough and had been asking for more! We had a long conversation about that, where I told him how the Native ways could teach him a lot about not being greedy, and I think he understood my point, that all we really need to teach is a blackboard and a piece of chalk and those teacher editions of textbooks with the answers in the back. He seems so much nicer than the principal in Mississauga, I just know I am going to be very happy here, maybe I will tell you more about that conversation tomorrow if you need more blog material.
Liz
Post a Comment
<< Home