Backpacks an' stuff
@ my school, ppl R really clumsy abt their backpacks 4 sum reason. Like they get up close 2 U an' then make a fast, sudden turn so U'll get "RRUMBLED, WHUNKED, THUNKKKED, WHAPPED, and THUMPED." One of the guyz who does this loox like Gordo w/a goatee. It's really disturbing. Monday morning, I had this happ 2 me three times, and then I got 2 my locker an' thot, 8:45 AM... and I have survived another battle of the backpacks."
Whatevs, rite? Liz, I thot I was, like, defending U fr. Mike's dumb idea that U'd ever dump hott-Paul for nott-Anthony, the "former boyfriend from high school [who] may possibly be [ya think?] carrying a torch". If I were U I'd B pissed that Mike keeps saying that, and not even hinting, just flat out saying.
Apes
Whatevs, rite? Liz, I thot I was, like, defending U fr. Mike's dumb idea that U'd ever dump hott-Paul for nott-Anthony, the "former boyfriend from high school [who] may possibly be [ya think?] carrying a torch". If I were U I'd B pissed that Mike keeps saying that, and not even hinting, just flat out saying.
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 6:42 AM
23 Comments:
At 9:21 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Paul is my current love and I don't know who I am going to marry but there is nothing wrong with Anthony, he is a wonderful man and accountant and parent and he is just like Dad, and he's here in the South, and that is not stupid, but who knows, anything can happen, and after all I am still with Paul and officially I am still fully pursuing that partnership.
You deserve to get whacked around, I hope you have internal bleeding.
Liz
At 9:30 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. It is clear that our sister is on her way to accepting the inevitable, while you are still in denial. As I have said before, if you want to have more husband options when you get older than Liz, then you need to date more people while you still can. Our Lizardbreath didn’t start dating around until she was out of high school, and by then it was too late. You may be thinking, “I can’t dump Gerald Forsythe and start dating other men. I’ll lose him.” but you couldn’t be further from the truth. You are a Patterson woman. Any man you date before you are officially a grown-up, will be willing to wait for you, and will be willing to even sabotage his marriage in order to wait for you. You have seen the proof of it with Anthony Caine. It’s not like you’re poor Sheilagh Shaugnessey, trapped in a loveless marriage to a Canadian soldier / farmer, who doesn’t want the son you have born to him. If you were Sheilagh Shaugnessey, then you would have the clear-headed resolve to protect your newborn baby and seek medical help from the nearest doctor, still kilometres away from the little shack from where you live. Sheilagh Shaugnessey knows how important it is to not settle on one particular man when you are young, but it is too late for her. Don’t make her mistake, April.
I cannot tell you how happy I am to not be in senior secondary anymore, and particularly not today. Your account sounds nightmarish with all the students wearing backpacks as if they are going on a camping trip. If I were still in school, I would be awake, standing in the hall, getting battered by fellow students, but my mind would be on the prairie, getting battered by the winter wind as my weak and afterbirth-covered body carried my newborn son to the doctor’s house kilometres away from my shack home, because my husband didn’t come home in time to take me by horse and wagon. But since I am a woman, and I am stronger than any man, I know I will endure until I make it to the doctor’s house, because my baby is more important than anything, and it gives me the strength to accomplish things no man would dare to think possible.
I am glad you survived the battle of the backpacks. I would hate to think that you had perished in such an immense conflagration. When I was in school, we carried our books in our arms and generally watched where we were going, but Sheilagh Shaugnessey has gotten lost on the way to the doctor, and she is wondering if she can find a landmark to help guide her way, like a star in the East, or the smoke from her husband’s foul-smelling cigars, or the smell of the pharmaceutical cleansers on the doctor’s hands. Will she survive? She must. She has to live for her baby, and her baby must be checked out by the doctor, if it is the last thing she ever does. The strain of stepping forward in the wind is enormous, but each step takes her closer and closer to the…
Ow! Cheeze! I fell over in the chair again. Always remember little sis, don't dream while you're sitting in a precariously balanced chair.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 9:31 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
If I knew you couldn’t walk through the hallway without people WHUMPing, THUNKKKing, WHAPPing, the THUMPing you, I would have come to help you right away. I have been going to R.P. Boire longer than you have and I know how to walk through the halls without getting hit. The nicest girl in Milborough should know how to do it to. I can teach you. I can’t wait until we talk again in person. I know it will be soon.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 9:32 AM,
howard said…
April,
I don’t have to deal with students with backpacks, but I can tell that where I work at Sugar’s Salon, the old ladies who are my primary customers run into me a lot. As I finish with one old lady, the next old lady will come up to my shampoo station and will almost always run right into me. Even customers I have had for months do it. I am a little afraid of getting older, if it affects your balance that way. Now, here is the odd thing though. At the end of the day, my man parts are very sore, like someone has been pulling on them all day. I know the two things are related, because on the days when I have off from working at Sugar’s salon, I am not sore. I wonder if it is the effect from being around too much shampoo.
Howard Bunt
At 9:34 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings about the bimiwanaan miigaadiwin (backpack battle). Your school friends seem to be debinaak (careless) with your feelings. Teenagers are like that. I can tell you when they get older; most grown-ups can walk without hitting other people.
For example, 2 Sundays ago, when I went babaamose (hiking) with your sister in the hills overlooking the lake, we were able to hike together arm-in-arm without falling over or hitting each other even once. It is a special skill we have together. But when I was a teenager and I used to go babaamose (hiking) with my friend Susan Dokis (whom I call Chipper) on the pow-wow trail, I used to trip over Chipper all the time, and I always seemed to land on top of her with my face right next to her face. Chipper was a good friend, even though I was so noondezi (clumsy). She never complained once when I landed on top of her. Now I think about it, the same thing happened the last time I went on a hike with Chipper this past week. I guess there is something about Chipper that makes me noondezi (clumsy), or there is something about your sister that keeps me standing up straight around her. I am not sure which one.
April, do not worry. Your school friends will get older and most of them will not be debinaak (careless) walking near you anymore, just the way your sister is with me.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 9:35 AM,
Anonymous said…
april, there’s no nice way 2 say this but, there’z a sign on ur backpack that sez, “whump, thunkkk, whapp & thump me!” u prolly wanna take it off b4 u walk thru skool nemore. also, & i can’t b-lieve i am writin’ this but, ur skirt iz ridin’ up. i wud tell u i have been turnin’ my head like a gentlemen not 2 look, but that wud b a lie. i like lookin’ @pretty girlz. i am a guy aftah all. by the way, u have rilly nice legz & u look good n pink.
At 11:06 AM,
Anonymous said…
Mike,
By the way, Canada didn't switch to the metric system until 1970, it was in my teacher's edition, so Sheeliaugwgh should be talking about miles not kilometers, also, how come you are always trying to use that funny Canadian spelling when we hardly ever use it in Milborough, also, I have another question about Shieldlauwgh, how come she married Harvey Rood in the first place, what made her attracted to him, if he is such a horrible man, I think you need to explain that better because I don't know any woman who would move to a prairie shack and give birth on a blanket and have to gnaw through the cord and get all smeared up with blood and placenta and then hike a bazillion miles to get a doctor if the guy wasn't really wonderful, like our dad, in your monthly letter you say she was forced into a loveless marriage, well who forced her, I don't get it. Also did the prairie people even get a doctor when they had kids, I mean sheesh Dad didn't even get Mom a doctor when April was born, and they have lots of money, I mean look, they bought me a new car for example, I just don't understand your story.
Also my marrying Anthony isn't inevitable, I am keeping my options open, I'm not sure I'm done picking up new suitors, I mean none of them are exactly perfect, even if Anthony is just like Dad he is ugly, and a major dork, and Paul is hot and I like Native ways but he is not very much like Dad and he won't quit his job to be with me and he hasn't got that transfer south yet, I think he is dragging his feet, also he is suspiciously close to that Susan girl, if he's a big old cheater like Eric I hope he keeps it up north so I can pretend it's not happening, I like to see only the good in people.
Liz
At 11:44 AM,
Anonymous said…
yo apes, i m rilly sorry abt ur g-pa, have u herd ne more news? also, u r totally rite abt those giant backpacks, i can c how it would b a prob 4 u cuz u sumtimez shrink so u r a lot smaller an' more fragile then the rest of us grade 10ers. i saw u in the hall 2day an' u looked normal size 4 most of it, but every time u got hit, u looked smaller an' smaller, until the last time a guy whacked u, then u suddenly looked bigger then evah, not xxactly fat, but more big boned then usual. then u reached ur locker an' then u got all little an' scared, u were so tiny u almost coulda stepped in2 ur locker an' i'm pretty sure u have 2 b five feet tall or less to get in there w/o wacking ur hed on the top shelf.
becks
At 11:53 AM,
Anonymous said…
btw mike, u should prolly take sum hints frum the chix on this site, ur book sounds like a chick book. an' i don't think i'd read it. it sounds stupid. 1st, the girl has a stupid name that looks like a gagging sound. then she marries a guy who is a total jerk. y would she do that? he even has a ugly name, harvey rood. what girl marries a guy named "rood"? then he takes her 2 a shack. most chix i know would take off rite abt then. then she has 2 have a baby all by herself. like, y is she even doing it w/ this loozer? an' y duz she want 2 keep his kid? y duzn't she just run away an' find a better guy? this sheilaugh (terrible name, btw) sounds like she's special needs, but not in a shannon special needs kind of way, but the kind of special needs that needs 2 b put away sumwhere she can get, like, super full-time care cuz she's so "special."
like i sed u need 2 think abt turning it in2 more of a romance insted of a comedy abt unassisted childbirth in a shack on a prairie. girlz buy romance books. girlz don't wanna buy depressing crap like ur telling. an' if they do, u can bet u will get angry letters frum chix who want their $$$ back. cuz they will b xxpecting a romance. they will read on the back that it is abt a canadian war bride an' will totally think it's a happily evah after w/ sum sexxx scenes. take my word 4 it.
btw, my entertainment lawyer wants 2 know who ur lawyer is. he sez that deals like u got r totally unherd of. he wants 2 know the voodoo magick u used on the publishers 2 get the deal u did. my lawyer sez u must have sum serious dirt on sum1.
becks
At 2:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
As much as I would hate to correct you, I must point out that Bodner Saskatchewan was one of the most advanced areas of Canada after World War II. They had doctors, and they had already adopted the metric system before the rest of Canada. Just search for Bodner Saskatchewan in your research material, and you will find a wealth of information on this most advanced of towns.
As for your question about Sheilagh Shaugnessey and why she married Harvey Rood in the first place, I will say this. For Sheilagh, she was an English girl from Devon, so impressed by the Canadians using Devon as a base for forces, departing for Utah beach in the D Day landings. Much of the surrounding countryside was closed to the public while it was used by troops for practise landings and manoeuvres. But Sheilagh was there, amid the hustle and bustle of the strong military men. It was there she met Harvey Rood, a Canadian soldier on leave, during a dance. With an urgency only being literally under a gun could produce, they quickly fall madly in love and marry; a week after the wedding he's back at the front and fighting during D Day. Two years later, having only seen her husband for mere days over the entire course of their marriage, she is given leave to emigrate to Canada to join her husband's family. Originally, Sheilagh Shaugnessey was bound for Alberta, but my publisher’s assistant said something about it being too similar to The War Bride, I mean Sheilagh Shaugnessey told me she preferred the more advanced city of Bodner. But only until later, after they were in Bodner, did Sheilagh Shaugnessey realize the love Harvey had talked about in Devon, England wasn't something he really knew how to give. It was all talk. It was all promises - and she believed him.
In many respects it is like your relationship with your constable or really your relationship with almost any man. They declare love for you, but then they are separated by distance, so you don’t get to know the true man until you meet with them later. That’s why Anthony has such an appeal for you. He promised to destroy his marriage for you, and he did it. That should tell you all you need to know about his character. Anthony Caine is a man of his word, forthright, honest and as faithful and true as a man can be. As for your constable, will he fulfill his promise to transfer, or will he be like Harvey Rood, making promises and keeping none of them? I think his absence from Milborough tells you all you need to know about his character.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 2:23 PM,
Zandra Larson said…
I remember the D-Day stuff in your manuscript when you made me read it this summer, and I wanted to tell you then--the Canadians didn't go anywhere near Utah beach at D-Day. They did Gold, Juno, and Sword beaches.
Anyway, your book looks too much like what we had to read in English last year during the Canadian unit, except you don't have enough wheat.
At 2:44 PM,
Anonymous said…
Becky McGuire,
It’s so good to hear from you again. We don’t communicate too often, mainly because it is good for a married man not to have too many communications with oversexed teenage tarts. Nevertheless, I will take your criticisms one by one:
1. The girl has a stupid name that looks like a gagging sound. I don’t think anyone with the stage name of Rebeccah has any room to talk about names with gagging sounds.
2. Then she marries a guy who is a total jerk. Why would she do that? As it is with any courtship, each person tries to put their best foot forward to impress the other person. For example, April used to think you were a nice girl named Becky, until she got to know you better.
3. He even has an ugly name, Harvey Rood. What girl marries a guy named "Rood"? When you love a man for himself and not for his wallet, then names do not matter. This is an experience I am sure you have yet to have, but I have certainly experienced with my friend Josef Weeder, whose name and appearance leave something to desire, but not for his girlfriend Carleen. Carleen loves him for who he is.
4. Like, why is she even doing it with this loser? Any why does she want to keep his kid? Many women want children so badly they would do anything to get a child, even trick their husband into having one. But Sheilagh Shaugnessey is not this sort of woman. She is having children, because she is a woman and that’s what women do, because they are stronger than men, and because they want babies.
5. Why doesn’t she just run away and find a better guy? Who says that she doesn’t? Oops! That may be revealing too much of my story. Forget I wrote that.
6. Like I said, you need to think about turning it into more of a romance instead of a comedy about unassisted childbirth in a shack on a prairie. Girls buy romance books. Girls don't want to buy depressing crap like you’re telling. I think I know more about what girls will buy than you do.
7. By the way, my entertainment lawyer wants to know who your lawyer is. He says that deals like you got are totally unheard of. He wants to know the voodoo magick you used on the publishers to get the deal u did. My lawyer says you must have sum serious dirt on someone. Considering your entertainment lawyer is representing someone who went from singing a song at a Grade 8 grad one year, to doing a nationwide tour and cutting 2 albums and doing radio commercials in the next year, he is asking some pretty stupid questions. I will just say that unlike some people I know, my success came from my incredible Pattersonian talent, and not from performing favours for people. April tells me her band is performing against yours at a school concert at the end of the month. I expect you will find out first hand, the differences between Pattersonian talent and your kind of talent.
I hope this answers all your questions.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 3:17 PM,
Anonymous said…
Sandra/Zandra,
It is so good to hear from you again. Are you still wearing black from top-to-bottom even in the heat of the day? I think I saw someone who looked like you in Toronto at the Word on the Street a few weeks ago. At least it was some girl wearing all black with sweaty, pasty white skin, muttering to herself. I assumed it was you. I would have stopped over to say hello, but I was pretty busy that day with copies of my manuscript.
As for your D-Day comment, I stand by my source, my grandfather Jim Richards, an actual World War II veteran. If he says the Canadians were at Utah Beach, then they were. Just like, if says he was a soldier at 17 because he lied about his age, even though he said he enlisted in 1941 when he would have been 20, he is still absolutely correct. In addition, if he tells me he sold initially sold housewares and then worked in a shop of his own, selling china and giftware; instead of working in his trained field of watch-making, then he is totally and completely truthful. You just can’t question that kind of experience. As a young girl, you may trust your books for accuracy, but there is nothing like the accuracy of an 85-year-old man who was there.
By the way, I was deeply disappointed your brother Charles Wallace got so sick during the summer he was unable to complete the workshops of my autobiographical play. However, you will be pleased to hear that the play’s director, Mr. Miroirbelle, adapted it into a one-man show called "A Scream From the Attic" and has been playing it nonstop in Toronto. He’s going by the name Mirabell now, which he told me is his stage name, even though that name sounds strangely familiar to me. I saw the show and it was marvelous. Almost all of my original dialogue had been restored, and the audience loved it. They laughed at all the funny parts and even quite a few of the parts that I didn’t think were funny at all. Actually, the audience was laughing almost nonstop throughout the whole show. Mr. Mirabell is quite the comedian, but I think it helps to have good material. As near as I can tell, the play will run for months to come. Mr. Miroirbelle said he never thought any association with me would meet with such enormous success and every performance was like a therapy session for him. I didn’t really understand him, but great artists are known to be temperamental and incomprehensible, except me, of course.
If there was one thing I would have altered in his version of my show, I wouldn’t have had the character use the phrase “talentless hack” as often as he did. Nevertheless, when your play is a hit, and your contract as author guarantees you 20% of the profits, who am I to complain?
Anyway, good to hear from you again.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 3:23 PM,
Anonymous said…
Mike,
I can't find any town called Bodner on the map of Saskatchewan, so how do you know how advanced it is if it's not even around anymore, also, if it was so advanced how come they had to live in a shack, and how come Sheelawg didn't have a telephone to call a doctor, how come she had to walk, why didn't she have a car? This does not sound very advanced to me now does it.
Also if Harvey doesn't want kids why did he get married and not use protection, if his town is so advanced he should of been able to buy some or learn when not to "do it," I think Harvey sounds stupider than all the farmers I read about in books like Sodbusters and The Wily Wives of Wheat Farmers and The Vixen of the One-Room Schoolhouse and Mail-Order Minx and The Farmers of Fellatio County by Lubrella Kuntz, you should read some of her books, she knows a lot about love on the prairies, she has written 137 books on the subject since 1979, you can probably order most of them from Harlequin, in those books the men sometimes don't want babies but when the babies get born they love them, and Lubrella should know how this stuff works, she lives on a farm and has had four husbands and six kids, it says so in the back flap next to her glamour shot.
All I know is if I were Shaylog, I would arrange for Harvey to have a convenient affair with someone he met at work so I could get a divorce and not look bad for it and then I would go back to Devon wherever that is and wait for my childhood sweetheart to move back so we could live happily ever after, maybe you should use that in your book.
Liz
At 3:58 PM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
Has mom been leaking details of my book to you? Your suggestions are shockingly similar to what I had planned; I mean what Sheilagh Shaugnessey is thinking about doing.
I am not surprised you couldn’t find Bodner on a map of Saskatchewan. It was so advanced a town they evaded the map-makers, much in the same way a lot of towns we know can’t be found on maps. I remember when Dad tried to find that town where you used to work before you came back south, on the map, and he couldn’t find it, even when he used his favourite model train engine to help him.
As for Sheilagh Shaugnessey living in a shack, and not having a telephone, and not having a car; the answers should be obvious to someone like yourself who lives in a guest bedroom, has to use her mother’s phone and had to get a loan from her mother to get a car. Sheilagh Shaugnessey does not have the same luck you have, the luck of a Patterson. If Sheilagh Shaugnessey had the life of a Patterson, it would be too dull for anyone to be able to stand reading it. Imagine someone getting enjoyment out of reading April’s story about backpack battles, for example. You would have to have years of excellent stories to make up for a story like that.
Sheilagh Shaugnessey has a more interesting life. She lives with a man who does not care if she or her baby lives or dies, but only cares if Sheilagh doesn’t manage to keep the shack in good order when he comes back from his travels. He is a thoughtless, uncaring man, and obviously not the type of man to use protection. Sheilagh Shaugnessey is familiar with the writings of Lubrella Kuntz, but she wants an authentic story of her life. She wants to me to tell the story of how it really was, when the men who didn’t want babies before they were born, still don’t want them after they are born. Sometimes I am Sheilagh Shaugnessey and sometimes I am her little male baby, looking up at my mother and wondering when the forces at work will transform her beauty and independent spirit into a shapeless potato-nosed hag. I want her to seek her happiness and to give me the food for my sustenance. I am so happy my mother struggled to make it to the doctor, so I could get my vaccinations and one of those neat hospital baby caps, they give away for free. Life is a struggle for Sheilagh Shaugnessey, but it won’t be as much of a struggle when she becomes a best-seller.
I hope this answers all your questions.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 4:31 PM,
Anonymous said…
Mike,
If your town is so advanced, then you don't need Patterson luck to get a phone, and if they have no luck and can't get stuff because of it, how can Shuhlaug get vaccinations for her kid, in fact I called up my friend Viv the nurse and she says child vaccinations were not standard until the 1950s and 1960s yet here you have this shack lady who has nothing in the 1940s going to get her kid a doctor to vaccinate him, this makes no sense, if she has no luck how can she get her baby medical stuff that didn't even exist for like 10 more years at least? Mike you are crazy.
Good point about the invisible town, but Milborough and Mtigwaki show up on the map on Mom's website but Bodner isn't on it so it's more imaginary even than our regular places of living, you should address that.
Liz
At 4:51 PM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
Sheilagh Shaugnessey has told me that a powerful and independent woman makes her own luck. How else can you explain why her story, even just with an outline and 12 edited chapters, was able to touch the heart of my publisher so he gave me a contract and then extended it? It is because no matter what the difficulty is, giving birth by yourself on a blanket on the kitchen floor, feeding and cleaning your baby for the first time without your husband being there, making the trek through the desperate winter wind to find that illusive doctor, a doctor so advanced he gives child vaccinations before the government gets around to requiring them, and the terrible trip back through the unprecedented combination of hailstorm and flash flood all the while knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that back in Devon, her grandfather was suffering a massive stroke, Sheilagh Shaugnessey will prevail. Yes, Sheilagh Shaugnessey makes her own luck, but even then she can’t make her own phone or her own car. She doesn’t have the materials in her little shack.
If I am crazy for writing the story of this remarkable woman, then so be it. I will prevail and finish this book, just like my namesake Sheilagh Shaugnessey. As for Bodner, it will be on a map someday. When Sheilagh Shaugnessey is a household name, someone in Canada will find a place called Bodner.
I hope this answers all your questions.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 5:13 PM,
Anonymous said…
Liz,
Okay, Mike, I think that makes sense now, thanks, but I still recommend Lubrella's books, she is a totally amazing writer, although I do have one question, did Sheliaghu build the shack or did Harvey, because it kind of sounds like he was probably too "rood" to realize that a woman needs a nice house to be happy, I could totally see him making her live in a tent because he was too busy busting sod to do it. It's times like this I can't believe Therese left Anthony, I mean he gave her a really nice house, not even a shack, and a baby, and he let her go to the hospital for that and even gave her a car to ride in to get it vaccinated, although I'm pretty sure it was Anthony who took her to get vaccinated after that helpful social worker reminded him.
Liz
At 5:15 PM,
Anonymous said…
Oh by the way my favorite Lubrella book is Busting the Virgin Sod, you should start with that one.
Liz
P.S.--Ha ha I addressed that last letter to myself! Sometimes I don't knwo where my brain is.
At 6:34 PM,
Anonymous said…
Elizabeth,
You have asked me about the quality of the home where Harvey Rood and Sheilagh Shaugnessey lived. When I am thinking as Sheilagh Shaugnessey, I think of it as a shack, not worthy of a Devon, England woman accustomed to the finer things in life, like scones. I think of my place of living as an abandoned farm, where my view of my selfish husband is driving a wedge into our marriage, too deep to repair and too deep to use a sledgehammer to remove. But when I am thinking as Harvey Rood, I am cold, conceited and cool to my wife, but thinking I have inherited an abandoned farm, and this is my big start in life. I shift the image in the liquid coolness of my imagination and the tiny farmhouse emerges, as if it were a passageway into an unknown land and place. The farm house is a sod and beam cottage, partly underground for wind protection. It is a house befitting the landscape—a land of the prairie with a beautiful sea of grass, waving in the wind, but with no trees for logs and lumber. There is nothing here to build a wooden home, like my harping English wife wants. But I am a sod farmer. I take the sod squares, I cut from the soil, with grass roots in them to secure the soil together. With these, I can make walls, roofs, with only lumber needed for a door or windows. But my wife complains constantly about how she doesn’t want to live in a shack made of dirt. She needs a nice house to be happy, and a car and a telephone, and longs for a husband with a desk job working at a car dealership. She doesn’t want the hard life of a prairie woman. She wants the easy life in the South and a husband she can bend under her thumb. Not a real man.
So, I guess the answer to your question, is he didn’t build the house, but he inherited it.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 7:47 PM,
April Patterson said…
omg, zandra, i'm gonna hafta read stuff that's like mike's book when i'm in grade 11? ick!
liz, i'm glad 2 c u telling mike that u dumping paul an' marrying anthony is not inevitable. that's what i've been trying 2 drive thru his thick, thick head. but u hurt my feelingz when u sed u wanted me 2 have internal bleeding. i felt like i was sticking up 4 u, cuz i thot what mike was saying abt u dumping paul was not @ all cube and totally insulting 2 u. i was abt ready 2 say i'm all dun w/defending u against mike, and i was even ready 2 start calling u "lizardbreath". but then i saw what u wrote about not-inevitable, so i'm gonna cut u a bit of slack. 4 now.
becks, yeah, it totally sucks when i get all shrunken like that. did it happen 2 me again 2day? dang, i guess i'm getting so i don't even notice a lot of the time. i know it happened monday. ugh!
jeremy, thanx 4 telling me abt the sign. i can't believe ger never told me!!!
shannon, i'm sure we'll talk soon @ school. if we haven't already and 4gotten!
apes
At 10:35 PM,
Anonymous said…
Are you effing kidding me? This "instant messgage" form of writing is retarded.
At 10:38 PM,
Anonymous said…
I'm a dumbass. I just realized this was a clever satire. Carry on.
Hey! I would never put it past Lynn to try to lay this kinda thing on us.
Hilarious.
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