Liz has TRUTH, she sez
Wow, this was a lonely place yesterday. No comments @ all! And 4 sum reason, sumbody sent me that book called How to Eat Fried Worms. Weird.
NEhoodles, Liz. After Mom an' Liz had coffee on that court-day I'm still telling U all abt, they went back 2 the corridor rite outside of the ctroom, and the court lady I mentioned on Wednesday (who "reminded" Liz and Anthony not 2 discuss the case) was all, "R U alright, Elizabeth?" And Liz was all, "Yes, thanx, Sylvia. I'm just worried abt my friend Anthony." Huh-wha? And this Sylvia chick was like, "He's doing v. well. There's just going 2 B sum cross-xxamination going on. That's all." Then Sylvia walked off and became a dark silhouette as Liz told Mom, "Sylvia is my victim support counsellor. She's wonderful. She's been with me thru this whole thing." Mom sed, "I'm so proud of U, Liz. I'm proud of all the ppl who R testifying against Howard. It takes courage 2 face sum1 in a ct of law!" Mom tellz me she felt that this was a v. noble speech that had been beamed 2 her brain str8 from "the Witch of the North." Or as we know her here @ ARB, "She Who Must Not B Named." Liz sez she felt a big shot of "noble" 2 as she gazed off in2 the distance, all full-lips-o-luvliness, saying "I didn't have a lot of courage when I went in there Mom. ...All I had was the truth." Liz told me that after she sed that she looked over @ Mom, who was looking all wide eyed, and she had 2 gasp a little. "April, I h8 2 say things like this abt Mom, but I swear she looked like she'd gotten xxtra hits from the ugly stick! Don't tell Mom I sed that!" No worries, Liz, I won't say a thing. 2 Mom.
Apes
NEhoodles, Liz. After Mom an' Liz had coffee on that court-day I'm still telling U all abt, they went back 2 the corridor rite outside of the ctroom, and the court lady I mentioned on Wednesday (who "reminded" Liz and Anthony not 2 discuss the case) was all, "R U alright, Elizabeth?" And Liz was all, "Yes, thanx, Sylvia. I'm just worried abt my friend Anthony." Huh-wha? And this Sylvia chick was like, "He's doing v. well. There's just going 2 B sum cross-xxamination going on. That's all." Then Sylvia walked off and became a dark silhouette as Liz told Mom, "Sylvia is my victim support counsellor. She's wonderful. She's been with me thru this whole thing." Mom sed, "I'm so proud of U, Liz. I'm proud of all the ppl who R testifying against Howard. It takes courage 2 face sum1 in a ct of law!" Mom tellz me she felt that this was a v. noble speech that had been beamed 2 her brain str8 from "the Witch of the North." Or as we know her here @ ARB, "She Who Must Not B Named." Liz sez she felt a big shot of "noble" 2 as she gazed off in2 the distance, all full-lips-o-luvliness, saying "I didn't have a lot of courage when I went in there Mom. ...All I had was the truth." Liz told me that after she sed that she looked over @ Mom, who was looking all wide eyed, and she had 2 gasp a little. "April, I h8 2 say things like this abt Mom, but I swear she looked like she'd gotten xxtra hits from the ugly stick! Don't tell Mom I sed that!" No worries, Liz, I won't say a thing. 2 Mom.
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 9:05 AM
6 Comments:
At 10:56 AM,
duncan anderson said…
Hey, Apes,
I was 2 embarrassed 2 say ne thing, but I was 'puter & Razr grounded 4 a cpl weeks aft I 4got 2 log out aft chatting w/ Zed.
Im rilly freaking abt Zed. All shes talking abt is going 2 U of T next year , ok, I mean when shes not talking abt killing her uncle Arne @ karaoke nite @ the 3 Kronen. Zed & Enid & Enids creepy bf want 2 hang @ the Reindeer Resto every Sat that pisses me off I cant get served when Bambis working there & shes always there. I dont no if Zed will want a 16 yo bf when shes a frosh @ U of T. I need 2 quit skool on my 16th birthday & move 2 TO. I asked Bambi what I cld do 2 make $$$ in TO. She told me topless squeegie girl was definitely out, like duh. I guess Ill have 2 practise more, cos if I can't sell my tunes, Ill have 2 sell my body or weed.
I think Evah sent u the book that girl is whack. She smirked @ me in the hallway this am & said she was xpecting Xmas prezzies from Nigeria. That rilly freaked me so I blew off science class & Im hiding in the library w8ing 4 Zeds lunch period.
Do u want 2 go 2 karaoke nite 2nite?
L8r.
At 2:03 PM,
April Patterson said…
hey, dunc, count me in on karaoke. i need sumthing else 2 think abt b-sides liz an' her trial.
i don't think dropping outta school is such a gd idea. if u r worrying abt zed not wanting 2 d8 a 16yo, i have a feeling b-ing a 16yo dropout wd make things worse insteada better.
apes
At 6:38 PM,
duncan anderson said…
K, meet us @ Horny Ts @ 8 pm. Arne will pick us up. Shld b cube!
L8r.
At 7:50 PM,
April Patterson said…
c u there an' then, dunc!
apes
At 1:50 AM,
duncan anderson said…
Oh, man, Apes. Im sorry that Zed made us sing "Afternoon Delite" as a duet. She thot I deliberately put on "Muskrat Luv" 4 her when it was her turn 2 sing. I dont no who shes madder @, me 4 Muskrat Sally & Muskrat Sam, or Arne 4 passing out & leaving her 2 host. Aft u left she took off, saying she was going 2 burn down the 3 Kronen aft closing time using Arnes breath 2 fuel the fire. The bar closes in 24 min & thats when my career as a karaoke host is ending. Its been nothing but drunks singing c&w or Swedish folk songs 4 the past 2 hrs now. Then Id better go 2 Arnes apt in case Zed ment what she said. I hope hes off the bathroom floor by now.
L8r.
At 3:33 AM,
howard said…
April,
Maybe you’re wondering, like your sister, why it took so long to question Anthony Caine. Well, I can tell you in 3 words: Rex Kwan Do. When Anthony entered the courtroom and your mom went out to be with your sister, Anthony yelled out, “Good going, Mrs. P. Keep Elizabeth company. At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Mr. P will be here with me. You go and watch Elizabeth’s back.”
Then Judge Patterlover said, “The accused attacked Elizabeth. Anthony Caine is the witness. I think I will just declare him guilty and make it simple.”
My lawyer, Mr. Benis said, “Your honour. I believe we need to hear the witness’ testimony first.”
Then Judge Patterlover said, “Oh all right. I’ll give the defence counsel a few more seconds of personal…power.”
Then Anthony said, “Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. A mismatched coat and pants and tie tied too short. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. “
Judge Patterlover said, “Mr. Caine. I was speaking to the defence counsel. You are not the defence counsel. Will the clerk please swear in Mr. Caine?”
The court clerk said, “Will you please state your name for the court? Please spell your first and last name.” Anthony said, “Anthony Caine, Rex Hai Keeba elite warrior training for Rex Kwan Do. That’s A-N-T-, um, let me see. Do I use the English “H” or do I give the spelling of my name in the more romantic Spanish?” The clerk said, “English.” Anthony said, “A-N-T-H-O-. um. Wait. Should I use my given name, or my Rex Hai Keeba elite training warrior name?” The clerk said, “Given name.” Anthony said, “A-N-T-O-.” The clerk interrupted and said, “We wanted the English name, not the Spanish name.” Anthony said, “I thought so. You’re a spy, trying to learn the secrets of the Octagon from the spelling of my first name.” The clerk said, “I’ll just enter that you spelled your name correctly. Do you wish to affirm or take an oath on the Bible?” Anthony said, “I am not afraid of you, spy. This is my oath: ‘From this day on I shall respect Rex. I shall never misuse Rex Kwon Do. I shall be a champion of Freedom and Justice.’ How do you like that oath, little miss Spy?” The clerk said, “No. The oath you would take is, ‘Do you solemnly affirm to tell the truth as you know it concerning this matter?’” Anthony said, “I didn’t have a lot of courage when I came in here, all I had was the truth.” The clerk said, “I’ll take that as a ‘Yes’.”
This is how his testimony started. It was very difficult with Anthony and his idiosyncrasies, to say the least. I’ll tell you more about that, if Anthony himself doesn’t pop in and give you the details.
The other odd thing that happened is this Asian / Latina (?) woman, walked in the courtroom and walked up to where we were sitting and said, “Are you alright, Howard?” I said, “Isn’t that all right?” Sylvia said, “Is what alright?” I said, “Isn’t it supposed to be all right and not alright.” Sylvia said, “I suppose it could be, but most times it is alright.” I said, “That’s good.” Sylvia said, “Are you going to answer my question?” I said, “What question was that?” Sylvia said, “Are you alright?” I said, “Since I am a person who is very likely to be put in prison, that‘s an odd question to ask me. Who are you?” Sylvia said, “I am Sylvia, victim support counsellor for Elizabeth Patterson. One of my jobs is to keep Elizabeth aware of the status of the case, so I thought I would come in and ask you.” I said to her Anthony is going to start his cross-examination someday soon. She said, “Thanks” and left. She was weird.
That’s about all I have to tell you right now. I may have more to tell you later.
Howard Bunt
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