Next bit of Liz-testimony

Here is Howard's l8est message abt Liz's court testimony:

April,

I think I have recovered enough from the fact your sister hates me, to tell you what happened next during her testimony during my trial. As you may remember, the judge was questioning your sister and was allowing her to testify via pictorial thought balloons.

The first picture was from the perspective of a fly on the ceiling. It looked like your sister was crumpled to the ground and I was trying to pick her up off the ground. I don’t know. It was from a pretty long distance. Your sister said to accompany this picture, “At first I thought he was joking…but he wasn’t.” This will be a confusing reference unless I remind you what I said just prior to that point. Your sister had said, “I’m pretty trustworthy.” And I responded with the pun, “Oh, you’re pretty, alright.” So, I guess your sister must have been thinking that my compliment to her appearance was a joke, and then she realized it wasn’t. I have to admit, I do find your sister attractive, thanks to her Patterson allure.

The next picture was pretty awful. I had my hands on your sister’s shoulders and she hit my forehead and put her hand in my face. You sister said to accompany this picture, “I fought with him. I begged him to let me go.” I whispered to my lawyer, Mr. Bunt, “Elizabeth didn’t really beg me. She told me. Pattersons don’t beg.” Mr. Bunt said, “With this thought balloon, I don’t think such subtle distinctions will make much of a difference.”

The next picture was even worse. Your sister had turned around and I had a hand on her shoulder and on her stomach, and she saying “Help!” It was a speech balloon in a pictorial thought balloon. I don’t know if I had seen one of those before. You sister said to accompany this picture, “I screamed for help. I thought no one could hear me. All the other employees were outside.” Mr. Benis said to me, “She just gave you proof your intent was not rape.” I said, “What do you mean?” Mr. Benis said, “There were other employees there who could have walked in on you. Whether you did or did not know about the arrival of Anthony Caine, you could not have been unaware that the other employees were there. What were you saying here?” I said, “Well, the dialogue I had been given to say was, ‘Whoa…she’s feisty! I like things a little rough!’, to show that I was being playful.” Mr. Benis said, “Good. We can use that.”

The next picture showed Anthony Caine on top of me tweaking my ear. I almost burst out laughing. I forgot how stupid it looks. Your sister said to accompany this picture, “But one of my friends was there. He pulled Howard away from me and pushed him to the ground.” I said to Mr. Benis, “You notice she left out the ear-tweaking.” Mr. Benis said, “Howard. You told me this looked ridiculous and it does. Did you really say, ‘Oww!’ with 2 “w”s? I said, “Yes.” That was a little embarrassing. I was pretty fat then, but if they see me now, as much as I have bulked up, they are going to want to see how Anthony Caine compares and when they do, they are really going to wonder.

The next picture was of Anthony blindly trying to find his glasses he got mangled when he dropped them on the floor. Your sister seemed to be helping him. Your sister said to accompany this picture, “I’ve known Anthony since grade school. He’s so easygoing…I never knew he could fight!” Mr. Benis said to Judge Patterlover, “How is the witness’ testimony about her childhood friend relevant? How is what she said relevant to this thought balloon picture?” Judge Patterlover said, “I’m asking the questions here, not some defence counsel lawyer. Continue on Miss Patterson.”

Then she pulled out baby pictures of Anthony to show to the court and some school projects they had worked on together when they were in school together. There was a nice picture of your sister and Anthony going to a school dance. They were passed around the courtroom, and people cooed over the pictures. When they made it back to the Judge Patterlover, he said, “Anthony looked a lot better without the moustache.” There were a few cries in the public benches which agreed with the Judge. I said to my lawyer, Mr. Benis, how long is this going to take?” Mr. Benis said, “From the looks of those scrapbooks, it could be a lot time.” And it was. I will tell you more tomorrow.

Howard Bunt

Thanx 4 posting that, Howard. What a bizarre trial this is turning out 2 B. Y, Y, Y is this turning in2 the Anthony show?

Apes