Spuds Duty
So, the Liz-day we've been discussing here, for more than a week? I can tell U abt the part where Liz got home after lunching with Anthony and Françoise.
Mom was peeling potatoes, and Liz went up 2 her and sed, "I dropped in 2 C Grandpa on the way 2 the courthouse 2day, Mom. He's so frustr8ed." And Mom was all, "Well... That meanz he's feeling better." Then Mom asked, "--And the trial?" Liz closed her eyez and was all, "Our part was put off again, so Anthony and I took his daughter out 4 lunch." Then, Liz wailed, "This thing is taking so darned long! I want it 2 B over with!!!" Mom sed, "U can't rush the justice system, Liz--NEmore than my dad can rush his recovery." Liz bugged out her eyez and was like, "I HATE it when I have no control over sumthing!--I'm a 'GET IT DONE' kind of person." Mom told her, "Good. U can peel the spuds." Liz didn't like that v. much.
Apes
Mom was peeling potatoes, and Liz went up 2 her and sed, "I dropped in 2 C Grandpa on the way 2 the courthouse 2day, Mom. He's so frustr8ed." And Mom was all, "Well... That meanz he's feeling better." Then Mom asked, "--And the trial?" Liz closed her eyez and was all, "Our part was put off again, so Anthony and I took his daughter out 4 lunch." Then, Liz wailed, "This thing is taking so darned long! I want it 2 B over with!!!" Mom sed, "U can't rush the justice system, Liz--NEmore than my dad can rush his recovery." Liz bugged out her eyez and was like, "I HATE it when I have no control over sumthing!--I'm a 'GET IT DONE' kind of person." Mom told her, "Good. U can peel the spuds." Liz didn't like that v. much.
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 7:12 AM
5 Comments:
At 9:09 AM,
Anonymous said…
april, i am rilly depressed. i read ur blog entry & i agreed w/ur mom. i didn’t hafta b goth 2 do that. ur whacked out sis thinks she is a “get it done” person. thass funny. if she wuz a “get it done” person, she & anthony wud b doin’ the deed rite now OR she wud b living w/her bf up in mtigwaki & gettin’ that relationship done. if she wuz a “get it done” person”, after howeird assaulted her or wutevah it wuz he did, she woulda gone 2 the police & pressed charges nsteada havin’ her boss make her do it.
i get sad thinkin’ ‘bout u havin’ 2 live w/ur crayzee sis again. everytyme u rite ‘bout her, she’s turnin’ n2 a whiny baby. i usedta respect her livin’ on her own n the northwest w/the ojibway, but now readin’ ‘bout her mopin’ after anthony makes me depressed. i rilly hope u don’t end up like ur sis, but i have this kinda sad feelin’ that u’ll end up stuck in ur house, nevah b-coming a vet, alwayz just ready 2 go 2 university but nevah goin’, & alwayz actin’ like ur a teenager. wuts worse iz i can c myself doin’ the same thing. i think if i got stuck as a teenager, i wud do myself in.
At 9:15 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. Pure surrealist comedy today in your Blog entry. I loved it. Liz talks about Grandpa Jim getting frustrated and Mom says he’s getting better. Mom asks about the trial and Liz talks about lunch after the trial. Liz talks about wanting things to be over and Mom talks about the Justice System. Liz talks about getting things done and Mom talks about peeling potatoes. One non sequitur after another. I suppose the tragedy element of the story is having to eat something the Lizardbreath cooked. Of all the women in our family, she is by far the worst.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 1:06 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings about your sister talking to your noos (mother) about her day and she ended up peeling potatoes. I talked to your sister about it from my computer to hers using Skype while I was making dinner. She said, “Paul. I was telling ngashi (mom) all about my day, and she wouldn’t listen to me. She kept cutting me off like she wasn’t listening to what I was saying. The whole time I was in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees), ngashi (mom) kept saying ‘You tell me next to nothing about what you are doing’ and now I am back home and telling her, she’s not interested. She just wants to lecture me about what I tell her. I say mishomis (Grandpa) Jim is frustrated and she tells me that’s because he feels better. I try to tell her about the trial and she tells me I can’t rush the Justice System. I hate it when I have no control over something. If I could control my ngashi (mother), I would make her listen.” I said, “I am glad to hear you want to take control over something. I thought you would say something like, ‘If my ngashi (mother) was meant to listen to my talking, she would listen. I put a lot of trust in faith that my ngashi (mother) will want to listen.” My sweet girl said, “I don’t know where you get these ideas, Paul. I would never say anything like that. I am a ‘Get It Done’ kind of person.” I said, “I am very happy to hear it.”
Then your sister said, “Speaking of getting things done, when are you going to get that transfer done?” I said, “It’s in the works.” Your sister said, “That means someone is not doing their job.” I said, “That’s all they will tell me. I think it is because they went through the trouble to get me the transfer to Spruce Narrows, which I did not take and that made them mad. For positions in Toronto, they have to wait for an opening which no one better qualified will take.” Your sister said, “You need to rush them along, Paul. It’s like my mishomis (Grandpa) rushing his recovery. One day he can’t talk and thinks I am mom and then the next he can feed himself, say ‘Ta’ and ‘Yes’ and talks with his eyes. If you rush them with the transfer then they can do it.” I said, “Toronto is in the Highway Safety Division, and I do not have any experience in highway safety. Not only that, but Toronto is a place where a lot of people in the OPP want to work.” Your sister said, “Well that means you need to make yourself more attractive to them. Can you make your lips bigger?” I said, “I don’t think bigger lips will help in the OPP. With the Spruce Narrows detachment, I was very qualified working with Ojibway problems and no one wanted to work in Spruce Narrows.” Your sister said, “I know just what you mean. I liked Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) a lot more than the Narrows. I have to go now. I think I am going to make Shiimsa snuggle me. I am good at controlling Shiimsa.”
I told my friend Susan Dokis (whom I call Chipper) about your sister turning into a “Get It Done” person. Chipper started laughing and I thought she wouldn’t stop. When she finally slowed down a little she said, “Suds (her nickname for me), Elizabeth Patterson actually said that?” I said, “Yes.” Then Chipper laughed some more. I said, “What’s so funny?” Chipper said, “Your girlfriend thinking she is a ‘Get It Done’ person is like a skunk thinking it smells like perfume, or like a bear thinking it is delicate like a butterfly. Your girlfriend is the exact opposite of ‘Get It Done’.” I said, “I think you must be exaggerating.” Chipper said, “She was hired in the Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) School for 2 years. She was supposed to learn and teach Ojibway. Did Elizabeth ever learn Ojibway beyond a few words, Paul?” I said, “I think she will eventually. I keep working on her, but I guess she really hasn’t.” Chipper said, “And her biggest problem student, Jesse Mukwa, do you think he was more or less disruptive in class after she taught him for 2 years?” I said, “Less?” Chipper said, “I met him when I student taught in March. He didn’t pay attention in class and he hit me in the head with a snowball after class. I would say ‘more’.” I said, “But Jesse was Elizabeth’s favourite student.” Chipper said, “Exactly. Now, Paul. How did Elizabeth get her summer job in Mississauga?” I said, “It was through one of her professors at university.” Chipper said, “And her current job?” I said, “A Grade 4 teacher left the country after she got divorced.” Chipper said, “Her jobs were just handed to her. When you met Elizabeth, it was at her stargazing party with the whole community. Who organized it?” I said, “Elizabeth?” Chipper said, “Wrong! It was Jesse Mukwa, Phil Goulais and Jesse’s aunt Marge.” I said, “Elizabeth still had to buy some supplies and bring the telescope. I don’t think I like the way you’re talking about Elizabeth.” Chipper said, “Suds. I like Elizabeth. All I am saying is she is about as far away from a ‘Get It Done’ person that I have known. She is more like a ‘Get It Handed to Her’ person. She may not appreciate how lucky she is to have had some things handed to her, so she may think she is ‘Get It Done.’ I know there are some things she has had handed to her which I hope I can get some day.” I said, “You want to work in the South?” Chipper said, “No, Suds. Something else.” I said, “A new car?” Chipper said, “No, Suds. Let’s talk about something else.” And so we did. I like talking to Chipper.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 6:45 PM,
April Patterson said…
jeremy, omg, the idea of us staying teenagerz 4evs makes me depressed 2. mayB i oughta give being zapril a try after all.
paul, i think susan "chipper" dokis was talking abt u when she was telling u abt sumthing liz had handed 2 her that she, susan, wants. i'm just saying.
so, i'm still boycotting mike's posts, on acct of his being 2 rude 2 read every1 else's comments here. and liz is reading them and telling me whether he sed nething interesting or worthwhile. she was all, "april, i c mike posted 2day. nothing interesting or worthwhile. he just sed mean thingz abt me. not worth reading. and yesterday, he started 2 say sum nice things abt anthony, but then he turned things around 2 talk abt himself, like usual. that's all u need 2 know." and i sed, "k, thanx."
apes
At 7:26 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings where you said you think Chipper was talking about me when she was telling me about sumthing Elizabeth had handed to her that Chipper wants. That's very funny. What would Chipper need a policeman for? The worst problem she has is Jesse Mukwa, and she can handle him herself. What you may not know is, aside from the occasional pie theft, Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) is an almost crime-free community.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
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