Uncle Phil made Gramps cry
So, after having served as our ringer secret weapon @ Gym Jam, Uncle Phil had 2 go home 2 Montreal. B4 leaving, he wanted 2 say goodbye 2 Gramps, so he went 2 the apt 2 C him. Unk Phil sez that he leaned over the bed, held Grandpa's hand, and sed, "Dad, I'm leaving 2day. But I'll stay in touch. I'll write and I'll call. I wish I cd stay longer but..." Then he gave Gramps a hug an' sed, "I luv U, Pop." When he came up from he hug, U. Phil had a shock when he saw that Gramps was crying. And he had a distinct feeling that Gramps was thinking, "Tears. Good. @ least THAT still works!"
Man, I'm depressed again. :(
Apes
Man, I'm depressed again. :(
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 7:07 AM
18 Comments:
At 8:38 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. You can see from Uncle Phil’s example exactly the reason that we Pattersons have been taught not to spoil people with gifts or time and attention. From what mom told me, the farewell you wrote about today in your Blog entry, was the first time Uncle Phil had visited Grandpa Jim since he came home from hospital. You see the definite benefits. Grandpa Jim was tearing up when Uncle Phil was leaving, but if Uncle Phil had spent every waking moment with his dad, instead of spending time playing with your band, for example, then when he left, his dad would be thinking “Ahhhh…I’m at the age where the best part of a visit from my son is…when it’s over” or “I should record this great visit from my son and play it again later on. It would help put me to sleep.”
On the plus side, Iris is pretty sure that Grandpa Jim recognizes who Uncle Phil is again, after not knowing who he was, when he was in hospital. Either that or Grandpa Jim thinks he is the Gorton’s fisherman and he was crying because Phil left without giving him any fried fish. Iris is not sure which interpretation is correct. Apparently Grandpa Jim pointed at the fish picture on his pictureboard a lot after Phil left, so there is no telling what is in his mind, except Phil was able to read Grandpa Jim’s thoughts about the tears being able to work.
Me personally, I prefer to think Grandpa Jim recognized his son and was happy he could still cry. Or at least as happy as a crying person can be.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 9:15 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings about your nimishoo (uncle) and his visit with his (noos) father before he had to go home. And then your mishomis (grandfather) started to cry. It reminded me a lot of my last visit to White River, where my ningitiziim (parents) and my mishomis (grandfather) live. We had a great visit.
My mishomis (grandfather) is getting old, and I like to spend as much time as I can with him, before he becomes one with the Gichi-Manidoo (Great Spirit) after his death. When I had to leave White River to go back to my home in Otter County, my mishomis (grandfather) took me aside and said to me, “Paul. I’m so glad you’re the type of noozhis (grandchild) who comes to visit, instead of just saying you will write and call.” I said, “Miigwetch (thank you) mishomis (grandfather).” Then mishomis (grandfather) said, “It makes me happy you keep the anishinaabe-izhitwaawin (traditions of the Ojibway).” I said, “Miigwetch (thank you) mishomis (grandfather).”
Then mishomis (grandfather) said, “Are you still planning to transfer to the Big Smoke to be with that white girl, Kaad-gnebig ngnaamod (Lizard breath)?” I said, “Mishomis (grandfather), Elizabeth’s spirit name is Waabshki-nika (White Goose), not Kaad-gnebig ngnaamod (Lizard breath).” Then mishomis (grandfather) said, “I wasn’t talking about her spirit name. I was talking about the smell of her breath.” I said, “Minjinawezi (sorry), mishomis (grandfather). I did not know what you were asking. Yes, I have been told my transfer is in the works.” Then mishomis (grandfather) said, “It makes me very happy you have not transferred yet.” I said, “When I transfer, I will still visit you.” Then mishomis (grandfather) said, “Does the white girl with the Kaad-gnebig ngnaamod (Lizard breath) visit her mishomis (grandfather)?” I said, “She says she visits him, but she can't visit as often as she wants.”
Then my mishomis (grandfather) started to cry.” I said, “Why are you crying, mishomis (grandfather)?” My mishomis (grandfather) said, “I am testing to see if my tears still work. I will need them when you transfer to the South. I may never see you again.” I said, “I live in Otter County and I see you often. It will not be different when I live in the South.” My mishomis (grandfather) said, “I hope you are right. But I fear the white girl with the Kaad-gnebig ngnaamod (Lizard breath) will keep you in the South.” I said, “Do not worry, mishomis (grandfather). Just because Elizabeth rarely visits her own mishomis (grandfather) who lives in the same town she does, doesn’t mean we wouldn’t visit you in White River.”
Then my mishomis (grandfather) said, “Does Susan Dokis visit her mishomis (grandfather)?” I said, “You know she does. He is an old friend of yours.” Then my mishomis (grandfather) said, “I just wanted to make sure you knew it.” Sometimes my mishomis (grandfather) says things I do not understand, until much later. That is because he is old and gagiitaawendam (wise). I will think about what he told me about my friend, Susan Dokis (whom I call Chipper) and how often she visits her mishomis (grandfather). There is some wisdom there I do not understand yet.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 9:34 AM,
Anonymous said…
april, just anothah way ur fam is different frum mine. the last tyme i saw my pop, he was cryin’ cuz i wudn’t give him money 4 sum more beer. i gotta think ur uncle phil was probably happy ur grandpa finally remembered who he wuz just b4 he went back 2 montreal.
sumtymez i wish my dad wudn’t remember who i am. he heard mom had grounded me 4 a month, aftah wut happed @the gym jam, & he sent ovah sum girl 2 give me a topless dance. the message sed it wuz 2 help me celebr8 the 1st tyme i had used drugs & missed a performance d8 cuz of it. u remembah the z-girl zenia parkinson, who graduated last year frum r.p. boire & goez 2 mackenzie bowell university just outside of town? well, it wuz her. i guess she tryin’ 2 pay her way thru university. of course, mom wudn’t let her inside the house. mom iz rilly mad @my dad now. unfortun8ly dad iz not around, but i am.
At 12:30 PM,
Anonymous said…
Paul,
I read what you said about visiting your mishomis even after you move south, I am concerned about that, as you probably know by now in our family we do not believe in visiting, if you can't come to my mother's house you are not really worth seeing, that is our rule. For example Mom only came to Mtigwaki two times and Dad came zero times and Mom has only been to Mike's apartment like two times and Dad zero times and I have only been to Mike's apartment one time, but I would come home for summers and holidays and Mike and Dee bring their kids to Mom's house regularly, and also I haven't seen my mishomis on my dad's side since I was like 14 and went there for the summer, and we have only seen Phil like two times in the last 10 years and Georgia one, and we never go visit, they come to us. I think these are the proper amounts to visit relatives, if your mishomis is a worthy man then he will come to Mom's house, that is how it is done here in Milborough, I need a husband who is in tune with the Southern ways.
By the way, remember the other day when we were talking, how I said "I want you here!" well I don't think you understood me too well, that was an order not a wish, I want to know the status of your transfer request, Anthony told me that "in the works" does not sound like an official status, I have been talking to him and Sylvia the counselor a lot about you and she tells me it is essential to have the support of the people who love me at this time and so I am wondering how come if you love me you are not getting some flextime from work and supporting me here like Anthony.
Liz
At 2:04 PM,
Anonymous said…
Kaa-mesnin gwanaaj oshki-ikwe! (I miss you, beautiful one)!
Elizabeth,
I read your writings saying you want me there. I told you before, I will take time off from work and come to be with you during the days of the trial when you are giving witness. As a member of the Ontario Provincial Police, I am sure I can get permission to sit with you while you are waiting to testify, and then I can go to the courtroom with you during your testimony. I think I could be with you the whole time you are at the trial. I could drive you to and from the courthouse and I could stay with you at your ngashi (mother’s) house (in a separate room like last time), to be with you the night before and after your testimony. I will never leave your side, except when you are sleeping or taking a bath. I am so happy you finally agreed to this suggestion. All the times I mentioned this idea to you before, you said you couldn’t see me until Christmas. Your last e-mail to be said, "See you in 49 days." I don’t know why you changed your mind, but I have happy you did. Let me know when you are supposed to appear to testify, and I will be on my way. I will drive all day and night to get there to be with my sweet girl.
About my transfer status, I think “in the works” is a strange answer too. It is the answer the Highway Safety Division in Toronto has given me. I don’t think they are excited about a member of the OPP who has not been trained in Highway Safety joining their division from the Northwest Region Division. My partner told me that in the South they don’t think much of the OPP who work in the Northwest. Most OPP constables want to work in the South for the Highway Safety Division, because the job is much safer than what we do in the Northwest Region Division. I am still trying. I want to be with you. Things are going a lot slower than I thought. My transfer from the Otter County detachment to the one in Spruce Narrows went much faster because both detachments were in the Northwest Region Division, and Spruce Narrows has a hard time getting recruits, because is so much smaller than other towns that house OPP detachments.
I think I will start packing for the trip right now. Let me know when you are testifying.
Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
Constable Paul Wright
At 3:41 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, my in-school suspension az punishment 4 wut happed @the gym jam is not 2 bad. i just sit & do skool assignments that r suppozed 2b “@ a standard equal 2 the ontario curriculum.” no1 comez n & sez, “u stink. u messed up rebecca. we wanted 2 hear a concert.” or “ur a loser u drugged out freak.” or “u had the best gig of ne1 n skool. how cud u b so st00pid?” thoze comments frum the teachers tired me out last week. i only had the in-school suspension supervisor all day & she duzn’t say nething but “here’z ur assignment, do the work, don’t talk.” i like it here. i wonder if i come here aftah my 10 days r up, if the in-school suspension supervisor will notice.
At 4:31 PM,
Anonymous said…
Paul,
You told me there was no violence at all in your position up north, so why would working down south be safer, did you lie to me, I can't believe you did that, Sylvia said that it is important to have trustworthy people around me and here you are telling me stuff that isn't true.
Also, you still can't come to the trial, even though I want you here, you can't come, Mom told me that the Good Witch of the North has decided that you can't be here with me right now and that is probably why you have got such a weird answer on your transfer, Mom says when the Good Witch decides to let me know who my husband is going to be all will be explained, I am so excited, this means I am going to get married, I was starting to get worried about that, what with you being up north and Warren being off out west and not keeping in touch and Anthony just making eyes at me and not saying anything, it just seems like there are so many men and yet no husbands, well now I know I'm going to get one, I'm going to relax some, what a relief, don't you feel better, in fact I feel so much better that I am going to forgive you for the lies about your job being totally safe and like a counselor.
Liz
At 5:08 PM,
Anonymous said…
Sgt. Royalson here.
It is funny, but I have access in my position to all records of requests for transfers, and I can find none under the name of a Constable Paul Wright. Doesn't mean it doesn't exist, of course; perhaps it's mis-filed. Still, if this is the Constable Paul who was my old academy room-mate, I would be surprised to see him seek such a transfer. Fellow I remember was somewhat pudgy, quite good at the native lingo, and clean-cut. Same chap? Had a very, very close lady friend named Chippy or Chiper or something. Quite a couple, we all thought. hope he is not stringing your elder sister along. Not the thing.
At 5:20 PM,
Anonymous said…
Seargent Royalson,
I think I see where you went wrong, Paul's transfer request can't be mis-filed, it is mr-filed because he is a boy, as you probably know from meeting him at the academy, and the person you are thinking of is Susan Dokis, who is also known as Chipper, well Paul and she were not close anymore, Susan got all fat and short for awhile there and they broke up, now they are just friends, also, when Paul moves south he is going to use his position in the Traffic police to help spread Native wisdom to the Southerners like I do at the Glenallen school, it will be great.
Liz
At 6:14 PM,
Anonymous said…
Chapter 3 of "Tapril Tatterson"
When Tapril got home from her date with Tuis her sister Tiz told her that she had a phone call while she was gone from Tebeccah, who is a rising music star in Canada but once upon a time she was just Tecky, Tapril's lifelong best friend, until they stopped being friends because Tecky wanted to be famous and leave her high school band and Tapril couldn't forgive her, they were not friends anymore, it was sad but necessary, that Tebeccah had a bad reputation for sometimes employing lazy workers who use alcohol and marijuana, when she could be hiring clean-cut musicians.
Well Tapril went and called Tecky back, she made sure to use her cell phone and lock herself in the sewing room, when Tecky answered Tapril said, "What's up?" and Tecky was upset, she said, "I miss you, I have to see you," and Tapril said, "You know what I told you, Tecky, we can't see each other anymore," and Tecky said, "Why?" and Tapril said, "I'm not gay," and Tecky said, "But all those months we were together, practically every night--" and Tapril said, "That's over now," and Tecky said, "You don't just stop being a lesbian," and Tapril said, "Haven't you ever heard of a LUG?" and Tecky said, "No," and Tapril said, "It means 'Lesbian Until Graduation.' And after 8th grade grad, I was done with my lesbian phase," and Tecky gasped and said, "But you can't just stop loving someone!" and Tapril said, "It wasn't love, Tecky, and you know it. It was looking for comfort in the most convenient place. Terald was acting all aloof or something and Tuncan was busy with school and you'd just been dumped by Teffo Tray...we both needed someone. Now I don't need you anymore," and Tecky started to sob and she said, "You're a liar, Tapril Tatterson! You told me we would be together forever! Like Tathering Tepburn and Taura Tarding!" and Tapril thought for a minute and she said, "You're right. We can be just like Tate and Taura. We can have a lifelong secret affair, but still have relationships with men," and Tecky said, "That's all I'm asking for! Can I see you tonight?" and Tapril had to say no, because she already had other plans, but she promised to meet Tecky at Double D pizza some other night.
The reason that Tapril couldn't meet Tecky was that she was busy, she was trying to figure out what to do about Teva, when Teva first came to town she was a plain looking girl but then she got some huge boobs and a nose job and cheek implants and some other work done and now she was a knockout, and Tapril couldn't trust her around Tuncan, she knew she could rely on her Tatterson allure but she knew she did not need that kind of competition, at first she thought keeping Teva close would allow her to keep an eye on her but now that had backfired, she was acting quite diva-ish, it was time for Teva to go, she had to make Teva leave town for good.
So Tapril called up Teva and when she answered the phone Teva said, "What up, cowgirl?" and Tapril said, "I'm not a cowgirl," and Teva said, "You like horses," and Tapril said, "But I don't herd cows," and Teva said, "But you like cows," and Tapril said, "Listen, Teva, could we please change the subject?" because if you hadn't figured it out already, Teva is a little crazy, anyway, Teva said, "Well, all I'm saying is, I know you like to ride. Terald, that is," because Teva didn't know about Tuncan and Tuis and Teremy or even Tebeccah, and Tapril said primly, "Terald and I haven't gone past second base," which was her sister Tiz's standard for Patterson purity but Teva laughed and said she saw Terald taking handfuls of condoms from the free basket at Planned Parenthood and Tapril said, "What were YOU doing there?" and Teva said, "Getting my IUD adjusted," which didn't surprise Tapril in the least, she knew Teva was a bit of a tramp in her last town she lived in, she already told Tapril she had "got in trouble" there, but even though Teva tried to get her to tell her naughty sex secrets, Tapril was too smart to confide in Teva, there was something in Teva's eyes she didn't like, she was either crazy or a schemer and Tapril didn't trust her either way, anyhow Tapril told Teva that she was having problems with Tebeccah and Teva immediately jumped in and called Tecky an evil whore, Teva really hated Tecky even though she didn't know her hardly at all, Tapril was never quite sure why, but maybe there was a story there.
At 6:27 PM,
Anonymous said…
Kaa-mesnin gwanaaj oshki-ikwe! (I miss you, beautiful one)!
Elizabeth,
I read your writings saying I can’t come to you because of some witch. My people, the Ojibway, do not believe in witches. If you are being threatened by someone calling themselves a witch who is trying to force you to marry someone you don’t want to marry, then you need me to protect you. I will be on the road to Milborough as soon as I finish my work shift. It’s a good thing I packed earlier.
I think what I told you about my work was that I find myself offering counseling and advice fairly regularly, in addition to enforcing the law. I am fortunate to be working in a place with a low level of violent crime, but not no level of violent crime. Even in the Highway Safety Division in Toronto there are some people arrested for violence on the highways. Not every man who is caught speeding with underage boys in his car reacts as politely as your noos (father) did.
As for this Sgt. Royalson who claims to an old academy roommate to a Constable Paul, I would like to point out 2 things:
1. My name is Constable Paul Wright, not Constable Paul, and
2. In the Ontario Provincial Police, a Sergeant is 2 ranks above a Constable, and if he were my roommate in the academy, it would extremely suspicious he would already be at the rank of a Sergeant.
Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
Constable Paul Wright
At 8:02 PM,
April Patterson said…
so, mike, r u saying we r an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "familiarity breeds contempt" kinda fam? i guess that wd xxplain a lot.
hey, libel-liz, u r gonna hear fr. my lawyer. prolly also fr. ger's lawyer, dunc's lawyer, an' becky's lawyer. i dunno if luis or eva has a lawyer.
apes
At 8:09 PM,
howard said…
April,
Your Blog entry today inspired me to go visit your Grandpa Jim. When I got there, I rang the doorbell on the apartment and a woman greeted me. She said, “You’re not the nurse or the personal care assistant.” I said, “No, I am Howard Bunt.” She said, “Howard Bunt. I don’t think I know a Howard Bunt.” I said, “I think Iris and Jim call me Coward. It’s a running joke with them.” The lady said, “Coward!! Oh, mom has said so much about how helpful you have been. You’re the fellow; Elly’s daughter is going to put in prison. I’m Iris’ daughter, Sarah Reid-McCormack.” I said, “The geriatric nurse, married to a doctor, who lives in Barrie.” She laughed, “I can see you have heard the pitch. Mom always likes to point out I married a doctor. Sometimes she tells me marrying a doctor is a lot better than marrying a dentist, but I think she is just making a little joke with Jim.” I said, “I understand you have been coming in on weekends to help your mom with Jim, when the ladies hired to help her have time off.” Sarah said, “I live so close and mom really needs the help. My husband Adam plans to come sometimes too, when he is not on call. So what brings you here?”
I told Sarah your Blog entry inspired me to come visit, plus I had promised Iris I would clean out some of the more disgusting parts of the apartment. Sarah said, “Oh, April. I like her. Mom tells me she comes to visit more than almost anyone in her family. Of course, mom says that when April comes she plays music that her band is working on. Jim prefers the classics and he pretends to be tired and fall asleep if April plays too much junk. Have you heard her piece called ‘Too *@# loud!!’?” I said I had. Sarah said, “It’s not the best kind of song for relaxing. April did give Jim some Beatles albums, which I like, but Jim gets upset with the anti-war theme of a lot of the songs. It’s not the best music for a WWII veteran like Jim. My dad was a veteran and he was the same way. April’s young, and she means well. At least she is coming to visit.” I said, “April is my favourite person in her family.” Sarah said, “Considering the rest of them want you in prison, I am not too surprised.”
I said, “Who else has visited from Jim’s family?” Sarah said, “Jim’s son came by to say goodbye. When he left, Jim started crying. We thought it was because he was sad his son left, but we found that Phil had pushed his father’s fingers in some kind of painful position when he grabbed his father’s hand to hold it while he was saying goodbye, and Jim didn’t have the finger strength to move them back into a comfortable position. Jim kept waving his hand and crying until we finally figured out why his fingers looked so strange.” I said, “So, it was not a happy farewell.” Sarah said, “Happy once we straightened out Jim’s fingers.”
Sarah said, “Who else? Well, his daughter Elly was here, but mom has learned she can’t leave Elly with Jim. The last time she did, she found Jim had fallen on the floor in the bedroom and Elly was sitting in the living room listening to CDs. When mom asked Elly what she was doing, she said, ‘I am using the power of this CD music to keep dad’s mind active.’” I said, “Sometimes Elly has unusual medical opinions.”
Sarah said, “Elly’s husband John, has not visited since Jim came home from hospital, but he did call once to ask if we had a Fisher Price ‘Looky-Chug-Chug’.” I said, “Sorry about that. The man is obsessed with trains.” Sarah said, “I figured that out when we found he had replaced some of mom’s washroom fixtures with train-shaped ones.”
Sarah said, “Jim’s granddaughter-in-law Deanna calls from time-to-time telling us about a conversation she has been having with a friend of hers, who is a neurologist. She told us that Jim had 2 strokes, one for each side of his brain and not just one. She also told us that she hadn’t been sleeping properly ever since we got off Daylights Savings time. And she had the local grocer send us a bag of barley and a coupon for Campbell's beef and barley soup.” I said, “That seems nice of her.” Sarah said, “Coward. 2 strokes? Not sleeping. Bag of barley? I think the woman is nuts or having a nervous breakdown.” I said, “Sometimes she does act a little crazy.” Sarah said, “Mom had her double check on the work of her regular pharmacy for Jim’s medication to give her something to do.” I said, “But Deanna is a pharmacist. Why isn’t Iris using her?” Sarah said, “You don’t let crazy people give you drugs, Coward.” I had to agree with that.
Sarah said, “Jim’s granddaughter, Elizabeth, the one who is going to put you in prison, sent us some cut out clip art pictures to put on the picture board mom bought for Jim.” I said, “Did you use them?” Sarah said, “Some of them. There was a big T to stand for tea. There was a picture of a rat to stand for Jim’s dog Dixie. A lot of them were silly like that.” I said, “She can be silly.” Sarah said, “Why is she putting you in prison?” I said, “Sexual assault.” Sarah looked at me and said, “Do I need to worry?” I said, “If you are nervous, maybe you should ask your mom.”
Iris popped in and said, “Coward. You’re here. I need you to clean out Jim’s drool bucket and his bedpan.” Sarah said, “Mom. Coward is going to prison for sexually assaulting Elizabeth. Did you know that?” Iris said, “Of course, Sarah. I love Elizabeth, but she blows everything out of proportion. You remember how she went on and on saying how wonderful she was for not wanting to sound self-congratulatory about that silly clip art she found. Well, she and Coward used to work together. Coward pulled on her T-shirt a little, her future husband attacked Coward to defend her, so of course she had to press charges. All you really need to know about Coward you can learn from looking at the dress he is wearing. That, plus he is going to help me clean a few things those nurses won’t touch.”
As I was doing the cleaning, I heard Iris say to Sarah, “It’s good to have Coward here again. It reminds me of the good times we had here when Jim and I would have a gang of our neighbours in and we would make huge messes, which Coward would clean for us.” Sarah said, “Coward used to work for you?” Iris said, “We were the surety for his bail, before his parents took it over. I miss those days. Now my friends won’t even come over. They’ve been avoiding us. I think they feel awkward seeing Jim so immobile. It’s not like the days when he used to be driving around on his scooter, or comparing his walker to other people’s walkers.” Sarah said, “Don’t worry mom. I’ll be here to help you, just like I helped you when dad got sick.” I said, “I’ll help too until I am in prison, that is.” Iris said, “You’re both very sweet.”
Then I stayed and made them all dinner, including a ground up to semi-liquid paste prime rib, which your grandpa seemed to like. At least he smiled.
Howard Bunt
At 8:17 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i kinda noticed u didn’t mention a lawyer 4 me frum wut ur sis wrote ‘bout teremy tones & tapril tatterson last friday. wuz that cuz…well u know…the stuff we don’t talk ‘bout, u don't wanna lawyer n that stuff?
At 8:23 PM,
April Patterson said…
i'm sorry, jeremy, i didn't mean 2 skip over u. do u have a lawyer? if so, u mite wanna have him or her contact liz abt the libel thing.
apes
At 8:44 PM,
April Patterson said…
howard, it was v. nice of u 2 help iris like that. she called me rite after u left an' kinda begged me 2 make u my "backup gay" again, and i had 2 xxplain abt u being engaged 2 becky. she was disappointed. she sed 2 bad we can't have "sum1 of quality like that nice howard" marrying in2 the fam.
apes
At 8:57 PM,
Anonymous said…
apes, i kinda think this krap liz is writing is funnee. i wanna c how the rest of it goes. i hope i have a big part!
as a superstar i know that all publicity is good publicity. remember how many magazine covers britney spears was on when she kissed madonna? don't mess this up 4 me!
becks
At 10:00 PM,
duncan anderson said…
Hey Apes,
U r rite. Im going 2 ask my lawyer 2 sue Liz 4 damages 4 destruction of my street cred. No way I wld evah listen 2 Harry Belafonte.
L8r.
MCDunC
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