Hostile Environment
So, U remember the setting. We (me an' Mom) were in the kitchen and Shiimsa (aka ANGRA MAINYU) was up on top of the cabinets. And Mom was stressing cuz she was xxpecting Shiims 2 use the fuggo curtains 2 climb down. I learned a bit abt kitty behaviour from helping out @ the vet clinic in Winnipeg last summer, so I knew that Shiimsa was more likely 2 jump down than 2 try climbing down, which is much less practical from a kitty-cat pt of view.
When Mom had taken a coupla steps back, I went up close 2 the part of the cabinets where Shiimsa had wedged herself, and I whispered, "ANGRA MAINYU, this TOOPID who calls herself my mom is so toopid that she thinx U'd rather risk getting yr claws all tangled up trying 2 climb down the curtains face-first insteada making a nice, clean jump. How 'bout we show this TOOPID how a real cat hops down from a high surface?"
After I sed that, I saw this look in Shiimsa's eye like she was glad sum1 was on her side 4 a change. Then she made a graceful leap from the top of the cabinets on2 the counter just in front of me. As I cd feel Mom lookin' @ me from behind, all shifty-eyed and resentful, I picked up Shiimsa and sed, "Come on, Shiimsa, let's find a less hostile environment."
I took her over 2 the rec room, where I've been sleeping since Mike an' Dee took over my room, post-fire, and I thot, "Man, the rec room is a mess. Deanna's Mom piled a bunch of stuff in here, there's no place 2 put my clothes or my homework.... Until Mike finds a new apartment, I'm condemned 2 live like an outcast in the dungeon of the house. But I shall survive." While I was thinking that last part, I cd suddenly feel Mom's gaze on the back of my head, cuz she'd sidled up 2 the rec-room door. And she was all, "April, U cd tidy up a little! How can U stand living in all this clutter?" Shiimsa hopped down 2 find a cozy hiding place away fr. my mom, and I suddenly burst in2 tears, over what Mom had just sed. I was crying so hard that my eyez scrunched shut, my mouth opened real wide, a big puddle of tears came out of my left eye, while my rite eye caused, like, a tear-drop fountain, so there were tears springing up in the air in a line starting under my chin and going up, in front of my face and around to the crown of my head. Weird, eh? I felt like Shiimsa wasn't the only one who needed 2 find a less hostile enviro, eh?
Apes
When Mom had taken a coupla steps back, I went up close 2 the part of the cabinets where Shiimsa had wedged herself, and I whispered, "ANGRA MAINYU, this TOOPID who calls herself my mom is so toopid that she thinx U'd rather risk getting yr claws all tangled up trying 2 climb down the curtains face-first insteada making a nice, clean jump. How 'bout we show this TOOPID how a real cat hops down from a high surface?"
After I sed that, I saw this look in Shiimsa's eye like she was glad sum1 was on her side 4 a change. Then she made a graceful leap from the top of the cabinets on2 the counter just in front of me. As I cd feel Mom lookin' @ me from behind, all shifty-eyed and resentful, I picked up Shiimsa and sed, "Come on, Shiimsa, let's find a less hostile environment."
I took her over 2 the rec room, where I've been sleeping since Mike an' Dee took over my room, post-fire, and I thot, "Man, the rec room is a mess. Deanna's Mom piled a bunch of stuff in here, there's no place 2 put my clothes or my homework.... Until Mike finds a new apartment, I'm condemned 2 live like an outcast in the dungeon of the house. But I shall survive." While I was thinking that last part, I cd suddenly feel Mom's gaze on the back of my head, cuz she'd sidled up 2 the rec-room door. And she was all, "April, U cd tidy up a little! How can U stand living in all this clutter?" Shiimsa hopped down 2 find a cozy hiding place away fr. my mom, and I suddenly burst in2 tears, over what Mom had just sed. I was crying so hard that my eyez scrunched shut, my mouth opened real wide, a big puddle of tears came out of my left eye, while my rite eye caused, like, a tear-drop fountain, so there were tears springing up in the air in a line starting under my chin and going up, in front of my face and around to the crown of my head. Weird, eh? I felt like Shiimsa wasn't the only one who needed 2 find a less hostile enviro, eh?
Apes
Labels: crowded house, Mom, pets
posted by April Patterson @ 6:33 AM
12 Comments:
At 12:57 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. After hearing about your emotional outburst from mom, I was happy to read your blog entry today to see you put the blame for your unhappiness firmly on the shoulders where it belongs---Mira Sobinski. I was a little disappointed you didn’t tell the story about how this situation occurred, but that’s what you have a big brother for.
Your readers may remember that right after the fire which destroyed all our belongings, except for my manuscript, my lovely wife Deanna called her parents and told them everything was fine and we did not need their help in any way. I remember that day especially because it was the last time my children have been seen together in the house. They and Deanna have been spending most of their time at Connie Poirier’s house, but that’s a totally different story I will have to get into at some other time.
Needless to say, Mira Sobinski wouldn’t let it sit that we were at mom’s house and we didn’t need anything from her. She insisted that she needed to come and visit. I remember Deanna saying, “You know, Mike, she saw the kids at least once a month when we lived at the old apartment, so it’s not out of character for her to visit like it would be for your mother.” I had to admit that one of the things I liked best about mom was how she would only come to see us where we used to live, when we had troubles, so we only saw her 3 times in the 5 years we lived there. I wish Mira Sobinski could take a page from mom’s book.
Deanna's parents came by later on in the day. They brought more stuff than their small sedan could safely carry. They had blankets and tea towels, cutlery, clothing. Who needs all that stuff? They had emptied every closet of extraneous household goods and were “kindly” bringing them to us. I said, “Why are you bringing us all this stuff?” Mira said, “I called to ask what you had to set up a new house and Elly said John has a patient who owns a discount furniture shop, and she's going to give you a deal on some scratch-and-dent children's furniture. Well, that was totally ridiculous. Unless you’re planning on staying in your mother’s house forever and use all her things, then you’ll need things for a new place.”
Then there was the whole question of where to put it. Mira said, “Elly. You’re renting a storage space for Mike and Deanna so they can put their salvaged belongings somewhere until they have a place to live again. We could put these things there.” But mom said, “That storage space is only large enough for salvaged belongings. Just put it here until we can find a place for it.” Then mom starting thinking thoughts which she later revealed to me, “Computer room, no. I have to use the computer. Workshop, no. John has to get to his trains or he will lose his sanity. Laundry room, no. We have to have clean clothes. Backhall, no. People need to walk into the front door and be able to see through back hall to our back porch. It gives the house such an open feeling. Liz’s room, no. She’s paying rent. Mike and Deanna’s room, no. They need to be free to get to the kids. The kids’ room, no. We don’t want their little minds to believe gifts are better than time. Back porch, yes. That would be a great place. Then it’s only a short step to the garbage. No, I think that would be too obvious. Mira will be back here again and wonder where her things are.
There’s the large room just off the rec room, no. I don’t even know what that room is for. It’s best to leave it alone. There’s the basement, no. We need to keep the basement uncluttered so April’s band can practice there. I guess that just leaves the rec room.”
We carried it in shifts to the rec room and piled it around, beside and on top of the rabbit hutch, the bookcase and the television. As Mira was leaving, she told Deanna, “I put a large sum of money into your account, in case you want to start over, instead of spending the rest of your life here.” Typical for my mother-in-law, giving gifts and not time.
Just remember, little sis, the next time you have a nervous breakdown over room clutter, it’s all my mother-in-law’s fault.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 1:13 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
When you are crying a big puddle of tears, or a tear-drop fountain, or tears springing up in the air; what you need is someone who can understand and comfort you. That’s me. I know your problem this time is not from having a fight with Becky McGuire, but I want you to know that you can come to me with all your problems, even the ones not because of Becky. It may be hard to relate to someone who is special needs when it comes to room space. We usually have the bigger bathrooms and bedrooms to have space for the special equipment required for our daily living. Trust me, I will find someone with even worse living conditions than you have to make you feel better. You can count on me. Look for me in school.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 1:18 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i’m sorry u feel bad ‘bout ur room. if u want, i can come ovah & move that extra stuff frum ur rec room 2 ur garage. i h8 it when girlz cry, evn if they cry in unusual wayz w/tear-drop fountains & stuff like that. just 2 let u know, shannon lake haz been askin’ peeps ‘round here if ne1 haz a family w/more kids than 6. she’z gettin’ pretty frustr8ed cuz i don’t think ne families r like that in mboro.
At 3:58 PM,
howard said…
April,
Having spent some time in your rec room, I am not really sure why you are getting so upset. You get to have the rabbit in your room, which you always liked. According to the Pet’s monthly letter you wrote for January, Elizabeth’s cat is spending a lot of time there with you, which you would like too. You have the TV there, in case you want to stay up late and watch it. You have easy access to your kitchen in the middle of the night, which you can get to without disturbing anyone in your house. For a short period of time, it might be fun.
Of course, I suspect your real problem has to do with the idea that it might not be a short period of time. My uncle Melville and aunt Winifred are out of the hospital and have settled into a new apartment, provided by their insurance company. Admittedly, they still have to go to the hospital a lot for medical reasons dealing with their burns and injured lungs. In case a member of your family happened to show up there to visit them, they might find my uncle and aunt there. It has been a month since the fire occurred, and they were happy to try to establish a more normal life. If my aunt and uncle are in their own place after their injuries, then it seems pretty obvious to me and everyone else, your brother has no intention of finding that new apartment and moving out of your mother’s house.
I have to admit, if I had to face the prospect of living in cramped quarters, with no privacy, with your brother and sister for the next 2 years until I could get to university, I would probably cry too. I would also consider early admission…um, into university.
Another possibility would be to take my room here with Becky. Once your sister puts me in prison whenever my trial goes out of its remanded state, the room should be free and Becky probably will probably want the company. Of course, Becky would have to be the one to officially offer. I can talk to her for you, if you are interested.
Love,
Howard Bunt
At 7:05 PM,
Anonymous said…
sorry apes, but u can't have howie's room. he will need it when my dad busts him outta pri...i mean, i'm gonna keep it as a shrine. but u could come sleep on the couch in my bungalow. it's prolly no worse than the rec room.
becks
At 7:22 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
I know just what you mean, it is so hard when you suddenly, strangely find yourself in surroundings that are more crowded then you're used to, remember, when I lived in Mtigwaki, I had a whole teacherage to myself, but then I moved back to Mom and Dad's house, and ever since then it's been so annoying, I mean, I love my family, but I need my space, and all I have for space is just one bedroom all to myself, with a comfy bed and all my own stuff, but it's so confining sometimes, and if I leave the door open, my privacy gets violated, especially now that Mike and his wonderful little angels are here, I have to close the door, oh, it's a difficult thing, especially at night when I hear the sounds from Mike and Dee's room across the hall, when Mike says, "Darling Deanna, please may I partake of a session of connubial coitus?" and Dee says, "No! It's cold in here! Your family might hear us! My diaphragm burned up in the fire! I have a headache! A stomachache! Cramps! I'm worried about the kids! Your breath stinks! We just had sex on our anniversary in September! I think I'm developing a sphincter problem!", and then a tear runs down my cheek because I am not married, and hearing that reminds me of many times with Eric and Paul, the men I thought would be my husbands, wait, that doesn't sound right, I mean, I just want one husband, anyway, it would be so much nicer to have my own place, except that then Mom wouldn't be there.
I'm sure you're probably having a little taste of some of those same difficulties, huh, well, just be glad you don't have it as bad as me, then you would really have something to have a breakdown over.
Liz
At 7:28 PM,
April Patterson said…
mike, it wda been cube if u had come up w/a diff place 2 pile up all that stuff, eh?
shannon, pls stop looking 4 "less 4tun8" ppl 2 show me 2 make me feel better. u only end up making thoze other ppl feel worse, i think. really, i just feel better by knowing u wanna find a way 2 help, ok?
howard, mike an' dee have been here more than 4 wks. i think it's 2 l8 4 them 2 only b here a short time.
becks, thanks, i'll prolly come over when i can get away.
apes
At 7:28 PM,
Anonymous said…
Yo, Apes,
Your house is wack! The sofa in the rec room is wider than the two-car garage! Your place must be wicked huge! The upstairs bedrooms are bigger than the garage too! Dang, I bet you could find a place for all ol' lady Sobinski's shizz if you tried harder! Can I come by your palace sometime? I wanna get to know you better!
Signed, Drew Fontaine
At 7:43 PM,
April Patterson said…
liz, i wish i had a door 2 close. ::sob::
apes
At 7:47 PM,
April Patterson said…
drew, my mom made that floorplan u r prolly lookin' @, and she's, like, no good @ drawing 2 scale.
4 sum reason ger sez he doesn't want u 2 hang w/me unless he'z there, 2. and u mita heard ger an' i r on punishment, where we need my 'rents 2 chaperon us, or we need 2 have dunc in our group. and i'm not sure if dunc is even back from, um, well, i haven't seen dunc @ all this week!
apes
At 8:15 PM,
duncan anderson said…
Oh, man, Apes, I feel 4 u. I was saving it 4 yr birthday but Im going 2 give it 2 u now. I got yr grandpas harmonica. I got it off sum girl named Ellen who wanted chocklit & cookies 4 it, but she took a loonie instead. Ive cleaned it up 4 u, 2. U can come ovah 4 it if u want, or mayb I shld keep it till u move out & get yr own place. Let me know.
L8r.
MCDunC
At 9:01 PM,
April Patterson said…
omg, thanx, dunc, that was so cube of u! i think u'd better keep it @ yr place, cuz if liz didn't steal it back an' send it 2 jesse, prolly sumthing else wd happen, like robin flushing it down the toilet or edgar burying it in the backyard.
apes
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