April's Real Blog

Saturday, May 12, 2007


Well, I ended up staying over @ Gramps an' Iris's place last nite, and I M having a v. nice brekky of my favourite granola and fresh organic milk. It's so nice when these things haven't been scarfed by an older, selfish brother.

Iris told me that when the speech therapist arrived, she [Iris] started thinking abt going out 4 a lil while: "I cd visit a friend, or walk 2 the corner store ....or sit in the park and watch the ppl go by." Just as Iris was thinking all this, the speech therapist sed, "Iris, we're fine on our own here. Y don't U go and get a little fresh air!" Iris was all, "Thanks, Christine. I think I will!" She ended up getting a latte and having it on a park bench while thinking, "There's nothing like a coffee break when U're working 24-7!" This made me so sad. I told Iris that if she wants sum time 2 herself, I'd B happy 2 hang here w/Gramps while she does. Iris got kinda teary and sed she'd luv 2 get her hair and nails done, mayB buy herself sum new books, and C if the Shoe Shack has NE sensible loafers 4 sale. So I sed she shd plan on all that, then. So if NE1 needs me, I'm here w/Gramps 2day.


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  • At 3:22 PM, Anonymous Michael Patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. I am having a great time at Iris’ additional spare room on the top floor of the building. I arrived after you had gone to sleep, enjoyed the last Billot log and milk and Iris showed me to the spare room. I must admit I was a little surprised to see “Apartment Manager” written on the door, but Iris explained that was her little way to make sure her guests got privacy. Iris said that if anyone did come to the door, I should speak in a loud voice about how I am the son of an irate tenant who is sick and tired of the apartment complex being in poor repair. That worked great. One gentleman came up and I did just as Iris suggested. Then he asked me who I knew in the apartment complex, and I said Jim Richards is my grandfather. Then he said, “Oh, right. All the handicapped items for after his stroke. We’re getting to them right away, sir.”

    He’s come back a few times to peek in the door to see if I am still here, and I am. This room is nice. It has a mahogany desk, telephone, couch, dorm-sized fridge for snacks and beer (although there is not much beer left after a full day of writing my novel), and has high-speed wireless internet. I stayed overnight and I think I may do another night. I don’t think there are any important family activities tomorrow. I think Deanna probably wants a whole day to herself with the kids, since she has to work all week and Saturdays.

    Formerly little sis, I think the moral of the story is that our dear Iris just needs to be pushed a little. She never offered me the additional spare room to sleep in before yesterday. It’s just like the story you were talking about where Iris won’t do anything until the speech therapist forces her to go outside. I’m sure if you hadn’t made her, she probably would have just stayed around during your whole visit with Grandpa Jim, and not ever thought you wanted her to leave. I’ll have to remember that the next time I come to visit Grandpa Jim---Make Iris Leave.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 4:26 PM, Blogger howard said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 4:42 PM, Blogger howard said…


    It’s funny you mentioned Christine. I have fond memories of her from when I worked at the Milborough Seniors’ Living Palace. She would drop in once a week to work with all her patients who lived there. She reminded me a lot of your sister, if your sister had darker hair and a perm, and a gregarious personality. In fact, she looked so similar to your sister, she told me at one time she had a little side business as a Liz-impersonator to help pay for her student loans from her speech language pathology degree, but she got tired of keeping her hair in a bun all the time and pretending to be a manic-depressive. However, she said from 2000 to 2006, she made very good money. I think her business dropped off when your sister came back into town after living in Mtigwaki and didn't look like she used to. I remember asking Christine what kinds of people would want to hire a Liz-impersonator and she told me pretty clearly I didn’t want to know.

    After what you have talking about this week, I thought I might call her to get some professional advice about a “friend I had,” AKA your grandpa Jim anonymously, who had aphasia from a stroke back in September. We met over lunch and discussed it at length. All right, I made her lunch and I had to give her a shamp-Oh, but we still talked. Here’s the scoop:

    Most of the improvement in aphasia is believed to result from what is called spontaneous recovery--a natural, physiological change in the brain after stroke that occurs during the first three to six months--and from treatment. The amount of improvement slows down as the time since the stroke increases, and the improvement that is occurring now may not be as obvious as the improvement that occurred earlier. Since my “friend” had a stroke almost 8 months ago, I should expect to see a minimal amount of improvement from here on out. This made me depressed for your Grandpa Jim. As you know, his main improvement from months 3 to 6 was going from saying “Ta!” to saying, “Yes, no, good, big, and boxcar.”

    Now here is the really interesting part. Christine has a client, the name of whom she would not reveal, who had a benefactor, whose name she also would not reveal, who sent a note to her to say she can expect to see the spontaneous recovery occur with this client a little less than a year after her client’s stroke, like around August. Christine said it was the weirdest thing she had ever read. But I think I know who her client is and who the benefactor is, so it made me feel a lot better about your Grandpa Jim.

    I thought I would pass this on to you, but you may not want to tell your grandpa, just in case none of it ends up happening.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 7:08 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    mike, u FOOB, 2morrow is MOTHER'S DAY. if u don't plan sumthing special 4 dee, she is gonna b SOOOOO pissed @ u, man!

    howard, thanx 4 sharing that lil tip u heard.


  • At 9:52 PM, Anonymous Michael Patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. Silly sister. Deanna is not my mother. I don't need to do anything special for her. I usually write a poem in honour of our mom, and buy a few crates of pastries. She is satisfied by those simple gestures.

    Michael Patterson


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