April's Real Blog

Saturday, July 28, 2007

2 good?

After Eva an' I were dun w/our song @ the telethon, Shannon came up 2 me backstage and was all, "April... U guys ... were awe...sum!" I was wiping off my forehead w/a paper towel and I was like, "Thanks, Shannon!" Then Becky came along and sed, "Nice work, ladies!" And I replied, "Becky! I didn't think U'd stay and listen!" And Shannon sed, "Cool!" Becky went, "Well, sumtymes... I don't listen enuf. ...U guyz rocked! I'd keep yr drummer, but I'd h8 2 split up yr band!" Ger sed, "Hoo! 2nite was a blast!" Becks asked, "Want 2 hang out B4 my next set?" And Eva, stirring shizzle again, was all, "I thot U were 2 gd 2 hang out w/us." And I was like, "EVA!!!" Becky closed her eyes and sed, "Know what? ...MayB I was 2 gd 4 my own gd." And Eva and I looked @ ea other w/gobsmacked faces.

Well, since 2 morrow's change-the-subj Sunday, it loox like I'll B continuing this on Monday. Stay tuned, blog friends!


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  • At 11:08 AM, Blogger howard said…


    I see you are still talking about the Hearts Together telethon and your conversation with Becky before she did her second set in that Wonder Woman costume. I know her outfit didn't look exactly like Wonder Woman, but Becky is getting ready for that style of outfit. That's why she was wearing that striped dress which looked like she had walked out of a Debbie Gibson video. Charisma Carpenter, Rachel Bilson and Katherine McPhee are up for the part; but I think Becky has a real chance now Josh Whedon has abandoned the project. The new director may be more inclined to take a Canadian pop star, now that Becky has established herself as good thanks to playing the Hearts Together telethon and the grueling conversation and other things you put her through at the telethon in order to get into your family's good graces. I can only suppose that this is the reason why you described what happened so sparsely in your blog.

    Becky told me after the telethon about the degree to which she had to espouse the Patterson family line on musical performance, i.e. "Music is about having fun. No one is too good to do music with anyone else." Honestly, if your family had ever seen professional opera vs. amateur opera, they would know there is a strong relationship between quality and fun when it comes to great music. However, Becky pointed out to me that your family stopped attending your public musical performances after the March, 2004 band competition where your guitar string snapped and you cried about it a lot afterwards and annoyed everyone in your family, except your grandpa Jim. Perhaps your family thinks that particular performance is an example of the quality of your music, and you should try to have fun more than try to make good music and you won't cry as much.

    Anyway, I was glad Becky's interaction with you at the telethon ended the way it ended and when Becky asked you, you agreed to be a bridesmaid in our wedding with Gerald escorting you as a groomsman. I think Gerald will look good in a little Chihuahua tuxedo, don't you? At least as a little Chihuahua, we won't have to suffer with Gerald constantly saying, "Hoo!" By the way, this is the real reason Becky decided not to use Gerald on her tour. Gerald nearly drove her crazy with that word/catch phrase. She knows you wouldn't break up your band, just because Gerald played on her tour. That would be silly.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 11:22 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, eva thinks becky thinks she is 2 good 4u & thass y u don't hang out nemore? i guess u haven't told her 'bout the fake fite u guyz had back @the beginning of grade 9. even not knowin' that, i gotta figger eva must have slept thru the gym/jam, like sum peeps think i did. or mebbe she thinks pop starz who play shoppin' mall telethons or who hire high school kids or majour drug addicts 2 play in her band r the big tyme.

  • At 11:28 AM, Anonymous Honoria Delaney-Forsythe said…


    Dearest future sister. You will be glad to know that, thanks to my Jeremy flower's valiant efforts in putting out lost Chihuahua posters, the real owner of the other Chihuahua claimed her this morning. She said her Chihuahua (whose name is Tinkerbell, by the way) is in heat, so she wanders off a lot. I think this also tells us why brother Gerald Chihuahua found her so attractive. Not to worry. I believe I was successful in preventing an amourous link up between Gerald and Tinkerbell.

    It's back to obedience school with Gerald today, to see if we can get him to stop barking and howling. The howling is particularly offensive. It sounds like "Hoooooo!!" and is a most annoying sound.

    Honoria Delaney-Forsythe

  • At 11:52 AM, Anonymous shannon lake said…


    I remember talking to you after you sang your song for me at the telethon. You were so sweaty and drippy, I had to touch your arm and not your hand. You may be the nicest girl in Milborough, but you sweat a lot and you stink a little. It doesn't mean you're not the nicest girl in Milborough, but you're definitely not the nicest-smelling girl in Milborough. What was I talking about? Oh...after your performance.

    I really didn't want to compliment Eva for her singing. I thought you would be better just by yourself. So I just said, "April...you guys." Sometimes I think Eva looks a little like a man. Then when Becky came in, you were perfect. "I didn't think you'd stay and listen." That was great. It's the truth and it put Becky in her place too and it was still very nice. You are so smart, April. I thought the way you insulted Becky was completely "Cool" and I said so. At least I think I did.

    Then Becky said she could have Gerald if she wanted him and there was nothing you could do about it. That was pretty insulting back. I knew you were mad and I was ready to comfort you. I am much better at comforting you when you have a problem with Becky than Eva is. She was awful. I may be special needs, but I know if you want to say something insulting about Becky McGuire to make you feel better, you do it in a drawn thought balloon and not out loud. When you yelled at her "Eva!!!", I could tell you were mad at her. I had to smile a little, because I know next year at school, I am going to be your number 1 comforting person when Becky makes you mad.

    I just love talking about the telethon. I hope you talk about it more next week. I can't wait for Monday. I am so excited.

    Shannon Lake

  • At 12:16 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. From the details you have delineated from your conversation with the slattern, Becky McGuire, I hope you were clever enough to discern her total lack of repentance for her slatternnosity. "Well, sometimes I don't listen enough." There is no humility there or admission of wrong-doing. She was just as brazen as ever. Saying you don't listen enough is something anyone could say. I would say it, but I find I don't need to since my lovely wife Deanna says it often enough for me. "I said to pick up the kids at 3 and not 3:45. Sometimes I wonder if you ever listen to me, Michael Patterson." If I can hear it most every day, then I know that confession meant nothing from someone like Becky McGuire.

    Then she said, "Maybe I was too good for my own good." Notice she didn't say she wasn't too good, but only seems to be saying that by being too good, some bad things might have happened. If she had been honest she would have confessed to you that leaving your band back in Grade 8 was the biggest mistake of her life, and her music completely stinks without you playing with her. After all, she learned that your boyfriend, the drummer, is good enough for her. She learned that the song you wrote is good enough for her. And I know she is not stupid enough to suggest that the kid from Barbados in your band is not good enough for her, because he fulfills the essential ethnic component of musical performance. I hope you didn't fall for all Becky's claptrap, formerly little sis.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 3:33 PM, Anonymous Honoria Delaney-Forsythe said…


    Dearest future sister. My brother Gerald has a problem. He keeps scooting around the floor leaving stains on Mater’s floor. My Jeremy flower thinks Gerald Chihuahua has worms, but he’s not an expert like you are. Can you come over and check him out? Mater doesn’t want to pay for a veterinary bill for a dog she believes does not actually belong to us. I am assuming you are not someone who aspires to be vet who is too good to do house calls.

    Honoria Delaney-Forsythe

  • At 4:57 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    honoria, i only just saw yr message cuz i was playing sum vid games and dad was trying 2 get me 2 look @ his train layout and his workshop.

    i will get the pamphlets i got from cousin laura's clinic last summer an' b rite over.

    howard, i've just been telling the story in my usual way. i haven't had ne other special reason 2 tell it like i did.

    shannon, becky and i r planning on trying this new thing of talking abt things that bother us. 2 ea other, not every1 else. we d-cided it was worth a try.


  • At 4:58 PM, Anonymous Eva Abuya said…

    Jeremy, I remember some blah-blah-blah about that stuff you mentioned, but I guess I was only half listening. It really wasn't about me or anything, and it seemed kind of boring.


  • At 9:16 PM, Anonymous Shannon Lake said…


    You wrote that you and Becky are planning to talk about things that bother you to each other and not everyone else. That is so brave and so different from what you have been doing before. I thought one of the ways you were the nicest girls in Milborough was because you didn’t bother people with all the things that bothered you because then you would always be bothering people, like someone else in your family, who is known for bothering people all the time, does. I think I confused myself. I hope you understood what I just said. I am not sure I do.

    I am trying to say I thought you liked to be super nice, and then wait for the other people to figure out that they were bothering you. It’s going to be very hard to be nice and complain to other people all the time. I don’t know how you are going to do it. But I know if anyone can do it, you can.

    I hope you don’t start telling me things about me that bother you. I just made a speech in the cafeteria on top of a lunchroom table to get people to stop doing that, but I am not sure if I wrote that speech or not. I think I would feel bad if you started telling me to stop talking with ellipses because it bothered you. I like you just the way you are. Don’t let Becky change you, April.

    Shannon Lake

  • At 9:26 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    eva, if am not surprised ur only ½-listenin’ 2 sumthin’ i told u. it wuz that way mosta the tyme we were d8in’. howevah, i nevah rilly had ne convos w/u ‘bout april’s history w/rebeccah. that wud b like the most boringest thing evah 2 talk ‘bout w/a girl, nexta makeup & fingernail polish. i dunno whose been tellin' u april / rebeccah history, but frum wut u've been sayin', i can guess.

    i can kinda tell frum all this shizz u been goin’ on ‘bout how ur worried ‘bout ur band splittin’ up cuz april talks ‘bout it & rebeccah talks ‘bout it, like it’s sumthin’ that might happ. lemme tell u sumthin’ that mebbe u can remembah…just cuz april & rebeccah think ‘bout ur band b-ing dunzo duzn’t mean it’s hazta b that way. there r lotsa peeps who can play drums. or if april leaves, lotsa peeps can play lead guitar & w/luis on keyboards u don’t evn hafta have lead guitar. if april makes traxx, mebbe u can keep goin’. i think rebeccah haz proved the hard way, u can make musick w/o a patterson in ur bizz.

  • At 9:29 PM, Anonymous Honoria Delaney-Forsythe said…


    Dearest future sister. Thanks ever so much for coming over to work on my brother Gerald and his worms. When you were moving your hands over his Chihuahua parts examining him, I think that’s when he passed out. He’s been sleeping peacefully ever since, and hasn’t scooted his little Chihuahua bottom across the carpet once since you came to visit.

    Honoria Delaney-Forsythe


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