That wasn't what I meant

Gerald's in my science class. Wdn't it B interesting 2 know what happened in our science class? Like did we have a lab, and what type of science R we studying this yr, NEway? But no, it seems I M supposta B discussing what happed rite after our science class, when every1 but us 2 had left and we were dawdling.

Ger was all, "Do U think I'm crazy 2 want 2 tour w/Becky's band, April?" And I sed, "No. I think it's a wicked idea, actually." Sum of us @ RP Boire have decided it's funny 2 pretend we R from Boston, Massachusetts. NEway, I went on, as I picked up my notebook (4tunately avoiding the chemical spill on the counter), "I mean, she IS famous. U R gonna B onstage w/all the action, an' lites, an' screaming kids!" I finished picking up my notebook, and Ger came up 2 me and I looked up @ him and sed, "And Gerald... U really R a good drummer. U shd go 4 it. Do what yr heart tells U 2 do." And Ged sed "Thanks." Then he put his notebook sumwhere, I don't know where, put a hand on each of my shoulders, and kissed me on my mouth while actually saying "SMOOCH!!" Then he retrieved his notebook from wherevs and sed "Your suggestion!" Meanwhile I was so stunned I felt myself getting glassy-eyed, blushing, and saw six lines appear in the air, by the rite side of my face.

Sorry abt that, Jeremy, but like I sed, it was Gerald who did the "SMOOCH" on me. I didn't "suggest" it, despite what he sed. But just this morning, I overheard sumthing v. creepy. Mom on the fone. On her side, it was, "Yes, your Royal Corbeilness, I did distribute the memo 2 April's teachers, informing them that she is broken up with that Jones boy. As if! Of course it's going 2 B Gerald. We chose him 4 her when they were both eight yrs old!" Then she saw me and sed, "Got 2 go, the eagle has landed!" And hung up. I was like, "MOM! I'm w/Jeremy! Gerald and I agreed we're on different paths! We're not ending up w/ea other just cuz Mike and Liz both ended up w/their childhood sweethearts!" And Mom sed, "Your destiny happens whether you fite it or not. U can let it happen EZ, like Mike did, or U can make it difficult, like Liz!" And I sed, "U sound just like MIKE!" And Mom sed, "Yr brother is a wise man, April! Not 2 mention a published author!" And then I went 2 the washroom and got sick.

Apes

Promising

After Dunc, Eva, and I got back in2 the bldg after our not-deep talk on the bleachers and on the way back, I found Ger in the hallway, @ his locker. I sed, "Hey, Gerald... How's it going?" He was all, "OK." I sed, "R U still talking 2 me?" He was like, "Sure. Y not." Then I sed, "I was talking 2 Eva an' Duncan... An' we were saying that no matter what, ....No matter where we go, the 4 of us hafta stay friends. Alwayz." And Ger was all, "I'm cool w/that! ..U wanna keep in touch w/ME, April?" Which was kinda weird, cuz I thot that was what I'd just finished saying, but just in case Ger sumhow didn't understand, I was like, "Well, YEAH!" Then I sed, "Welll keep in touch w/Luis an' Becky and, sumday when there's a class reunion, an' we're all gray-haired an' OLD, we'll remember this day an' this promise--OK?!" And Ger sed, "Yeah! OK!!" Then we walked down the hall, him w/his arm resting on top of my rite shoulder, and me w/my hand on his back. And Ger sed, "But that day is SO far off... it's hard 2 even IMAGINE!" As he sed that, a portly old, balding male teacher walked by, and I guess that was supposta B sum kind of irony. I h8 when things happen just 4 that reason.

And as I write this, I realize that we made this big promise that "the 4 of us hafta stay friends" but we'll only "keep in touch w/Luis an' Becky." Y can't the SIX of us all B friends an' all? Hmm. And Y, Y, Y have we been talking like we're in grade 12, all farewellish.

Apes

Zzzzzz

Well, in case NE1 wondered what happed @ the TTH rite after our so-called Xmas dinner this past Sunday (I know U weren't), when Dad was pulling the car in2 the driveway, Mom was all, "Oh, What's-er'-name, er, April, all those dishes from the desserts have 2 B brot in and washed. I know U won't mind. We'll catch up w/U inside."

So, as I was taking the dishes in2 the kitchen 2 wash 'em, I cd hear Mom and Dad having a dull convo as they put away their coats. Dad was being all, "Well, that was wonderful! The tree, the gifts, the decorations and the dinner.... The whole family was there in the true spirit and joy of the season!" Yeah, nuthing sez "Yuletide" like sequestering the yungest members of yr fam in the kitchen and thinking evil thots while a well-meaning in-law sez grace. Mom sed, "Yes--I think that was one of the best Xmas evenings I've ever had!" Then, I had a hunch she was thot-bubbling, so I peeked out from the kitchen, and sure enuf she had a thot bubble, all "...It was @ sumbody ELSE'S house!!!" Mom looked disturbingly manly as she was thinking that.

So, let's C. U know what happed w/Mom an' Dad rite after the dinner, and U know abt Liz an' Anthony. I predict that there will B sum sharing 2morrow abt Mike and Dee's reaction 2 the dinner. Not mind, b-cuz I'm not considered important enuf. Oh, and Liz d-cided 2 write in sum more last nite w/sum bonus info 4 U interested readers:

April,

Okay, well, I promised to tell you more about what happened between me and Anthony, let's just say that he was very persistent, and I had to be very insistent about guarding my secondary virginity, well, finally, Anthony asked why I wouldn't let him "slip one past the goalie" (yes that's how he put it) and I explained to him it was a curse, if we did it before marriage, we would never walk down the aisle, well Anthony asked how far we were allowed to go, and I checked the handy little "Sexual Purity Guide" that the Johnston Institute puts out, and it turns out that premarital fondling of certain body parts normally kept hidden by underpants is okay, as long as the room is totally dark and it's just the woman doing the man, after all, a good woman does not experience s-e-x type pleasure, she just does it for the babies, anyway, it was awful, by morning my palms were rubbed raw, and Anthony was passed out across the bed sideways with his man-thing hanging out, and Frenchy came wandering down the hall, yelling for her daddy, turns out we were so wrapped up in our whole negotiation thing that we left her in the car seat last night and she spent the night in the garage which is fortunately attached to the house but is still cold as a refrigerator, she seems okay, just a little blue-ishy, but that went away after I plunked her down next to a heating vent before I left to go to the drugstore to buy salve for my hands, April, when you turn 18, you would be smart to just marry Gerald right away, so you don't have to go through years of this kind of agony, it is almost like some ugly old woman is drawing my "story" out to torture me.

Liz

OMG, poor Francie! What agencies do we call 2 intervene w/the kind of neglect?!?!?!?!

And I dunno if Ger wd even B interested NEmore in marrying me when we turn 18. I heard a rumour that Becky dumped Dustin Jimberlake and started d8ing Ger, in spite of her dad's wishes.

Apes

Recycling Liz lines?

So that boring schoolday I was tellin' U all abt of course ended w/a bus ride home. I sat w/Eva, who was all, "Gerald was pretty bummed when U didn't want 2 do music professionally." And I was like, "Neither does Duncan... and Luis sez he doesn't know what he wants 2 do." Eva was like, "Well, I want 2 keep singing, but it looks like our band is gonna have 2 break up, so....." And I sed, "So--let's make the best of it, Eva. We still have sum time left! We're still 2gether!" And Eva was all, "Yeah.... We're still 2gether." U'd think we were going off 2 uni 2morrow insteada in a yr and a half. But whatevs. Then I had this thot, as Eva and I both had our mascara run out the corner of each rite eye--this thot was like if sum1 who was in charge of corny lines had 4gotten that Liz had already dun this was sum months ago: "Sumtymez, when U look on the brite side.... the sun gets in yr eyez." C what I mean? Oh, and also my hair curse remembered that it had retooled my bun when I turned 16, and it went back 2 its "April @ 16" variant.

Jeremy, that was pretty krayzee @ Koolhaus yesterday. Thanx 4 helping me w/the whole toy-bunny sitch. That replacement really does look identical 2 the one that got confisc8ed. I hafta say I kinda enjoyed what happed around midnite--Becky's Dad/manager Thorvald McGuire storming in, grabbing Becky while shouting, "What did Fafa tell U abt that not-a-Viking Gerald Forsythe! Fafa is setting U up with Dustin Jimberlake!" And then he carried her out under her arm, like she was a newspaper! And Gerald just kinda whimpered. U were pretty good abt restraining yr laughter.

Apes

Fame = Dry Cleaning?

More abt my convo w/Dad when he was driving me home after the telethon. I tried 2 take my mind off the fact that Dad's 'vASSe was hovering even higher than usual by talking sum more abt Becky. I sed, "Becky was actually nice 2 me 4 a change." Dad sed, "MayB she liked yr singing!" Hmph, like that wd B the only reason 4 her 2 B nice. I sed, "Who knows. NEway.... She sed how lucky I was NOT 2 B famous, 2 have a regular home and parents who were still married 2 each other. She sed if she cd trade lives w/me, she wd!" Dad was all, "So, ... wd U trade lives w/HER?" I sed, "No way!" Then I sensed that Dad was fishing 4 compliments, and I didn't feel like being all complimenty @ that moment, so I thot of the 1st dumb thing my tired brain cd think of:" "4 one thing, she has 2 wear these wild, amazing costumes nite after nite after nite!" And when Dad asked me what was wrong with that, I was all, "...They're not washable." I was hoping that wd confuse him (which isn't that hard I guess) and it seemed 2 have worked cuz he had a stubbly, gobsmacked face.

Sum of U may B wondering Y Becky and I wd even hafta have such a convo, since we pretty much had this convo back in Sept. But Becky and I seem 2 B stuck on a loop. I hope we get 2 move 4ward this time, but I dunno.

Dunc, it turns out Becky made a typo mispoke when she sed "grade 11." She really meant 2 say "3 grade 10 classes." U R totally rockin' the Gems! I've gotten up 2 level 900, but then Mom or Dad comes along and wrests the controls away from me and turns off the TV!!!

Apes

Famous But Lonely

After the telethon, U'll remember Dad drove 2 the telethon 2 pick up Eva and me. When we dropped off Eva @ her house, she was all, "Thanx 4 the ride, Dr. P! Have a good trip out west, April!" And I went, "Bye, Eva!" Then, as we were driving home, and Dad was looking scary w/his disheveled hair and 4 AM shadow, I decided 2 distract myself from how disturbing he looked by talking 2 him abt my convo w/Becky. I was like, "Becky came and talked 2 me @ the telethon, Dad. We went 2 the food court 4 coffee. She talked abt her band. She talked abt her father. As her manager, he's arrogant and controlling. He won't speak 2 her mom... and he's jealous when she does. She misses her mom. She's on the road so much she has 2 take 3 grade 11* courses over again. She's sed she was lonely. But she's FAMOUS! She must have a MILLION friends. How can sumbody famous B lonely?" And Dad replied, "...She's talking abt the PERSON inside the performer." And I glanced over @ Dad, feeling kinda bad 4 him. He was so tired, he really thot he'd made a pun there. Then Dad sed I really need 2 watch E True Hollywood Story more often, so I can see fame does not necessarily = happiness.

*U may B wondering how it is Becky is retaking 3 grade-11 courses when we just finished grade 10. Well, when I tried 2 ask her Y she'd sed "grade 11," she started 2 answer, but then a buncha kids with bad, gappy teeth showed up asking 4 autographs, and we got sidetracked.

Apes

2 good?

After Eva an' I were dun w/our song @ the telethon, Shannon came up 2 me backstage and was all, "April... U guys ... were awe...sum!" I was wiping off my forehead w/a paper towel and I was like, "Thanks, Shannon!" Then Becky came along and sed, "Nice work, ladies!" And I replied, "Becky! I didn't think U'd stay and listen!" And Shannon sed, "Cool!" Becky went, "Well, sumtymes... I don't listen enuf. ...U guyz rocked! I'd keep yr drummer, but I'd h8 2 split up yr band!" Ger sed, "Hoo! 2nite was a blast!" Becks asked, "Want 2 hang out B4 my next set?" And Eva, stirring shizzle again, was all, "I thot U were 2 gd 2 hang out w/us." And I was like, "EVA!!!" Becky closed her eyes and sed, "Know what? ...MayB I was 2 gd 4 my own gd." And Eva and I looked @ ea other w/gobsmacked faces.

Well, since 2 morrow's change-the-subj Sunday, it loox like I'll B continuing this on Monday. Stay tuned, blog friends!

Apes

Our song

Eva and I sang our song. I won't write out the lyrics, but U can listen 2 the song by going here, then rite-clicking on the link that sez "download it here," then saving the mp3 on yr 'puter.

Even tho I was up on the stage singing w/Eva, I cd hear Becky and Ger talking backstage. I heard Ger's voice asking, "What do U think of them, Rebecca[h]?" And I heard Becky's voice being all, "They're good. They're really good." Ger's voice was like, "That's a compliment!!" And Becky's voice sed, "That's the truth."

That made me so happy. If Becky liked the song, I guess that makes it official that it went over well. Eva and I wrote it really fast, on the way 2 the telethon, and I was afraid that wd B super-obvious and that every1 wd think it was hokey dreck. But if Becks thot we were really good, I feel totally valid8ed!

Howard, I think it's poss the SN kids I had lunch w/all thoze wks ago @ school had sum misconceptions abt the telethon. Like when Shannon sed there were 2 stages and Becky and I wd play on diff ones. That didn't turn out 2 B true. I think when Faith sed that stuff abt providing wheel chairs an' other stuff, she mighta been mistaken. Or winging it. Thanx again 4 the special food 4 Chichuachua-Ger. I have a feeling the Witch won't make him stay in doggie form 4 long.

Apes

Diff But Same

When Becky finished her set, the MC guy was all, "Put yr hands 2gether 4 REBECCA[H]!!" Then, he was like, "Folks! Keep those fones ringing, keep the donations rolling in! --This is hr 4 of the gr8 'Hearts 2gether Telethon'!" Backstage, I went over 2 Ger all, "Gerald, U were gr8!" And Ger was like, "Thanx! U're on next! --Go 4 it!!" Eva and I got on stage, and I intro'ed us, "This is a song we wrote--it's called 'Everybody's Different.' But... Deep down inside ... we're really all the same." From the front row, Shannon and her mom looked up @ us w/luv in their eyes, I think. And Faith, Dylan, Jack, and Grace were clustered behind Shan.

Apes

Breaks and Breakups

More telethon talk. Eva and I were watching Becky's set, and Eva was like, "Rebecca[h]'s sound is so amazing!" And I sed, "That's cuz Gerald is on drums!" Not a diss 2 U Becks, it's just that I'd never heard Ger playing 4 NE1 else, so it just really hit me how good he is! We were heading 4 the backstage area, 2 get ourselves ready 4 our set, and Eva sed, "I wonder what it's like 2 B famous. She must get everything she wants." And I was like, "MayB." Then Eva, the shizzle-stirrer, was all, "What if she wants Gerald, April? What if she wants 2 take him on tour?" Not taking Eva's b8, I sed, "That wd B awesum! That wd B his 1st big break!" We'd gotten 2 the backstage area, and I was taking my guitar out of its case when Eva was like, "But... what abt our band?!! --What about U?!!" And I didn't answer, but I peeked out @ Ger from backstage, watching him play drums, and I thot, "Sumtymes, a big break means a big breakup." Memo 2 Ger: me thinking we mite hafta break up doesn't mean we're broken up an' U shd have sex w/Becky, K?

Apes

Pee Puns

More on the telethon. Eva and I went up 2 the stage-manager guy, and I was like, "Hi, we're just checking the order in which we appear*. We're after the choir, rite?" The guy checked his sheet and was like, "Nope. There's been a change. U and Eva come on after 'Rebecca[h].'" I was all, "Really? But...." And the guy interrupted w/"Hey! Relax! This is a telethon. We can change things around! We can B FLUID!" Eva and I looked @ each other, and I asked, "Do U feel fluid?" And Eva was all, "Um... yeah." And we ran 2 the washroom 2 release fluid from our bladders, which apparently make lame puns all their own. As 4 Y it was just me and Eva and not the rest of the band, that mite come up in my telling this week. Or mayB not! W8 an' C, honeybees!

Apes

*Yep, I sed "the order in which we appear." I thot it mite impress the stage-manager guy. I don't think it worked.

Ger and I = More Than Friends Again

Ger an' I have been sharing a secret since Monday of last week.

U C, after Shannon's speech in the hallway, I went up 2 him, all "Gerald?" Ger was cleaning out his locker, and he turned 2 me, all "I thot U weren't speaking 2 me." And I sed, "Well I am. Our band shd do the telethon. I don't care if U R playing drums 4 Rebecca[h]... It's 4 a gd cause." And Ger sed, "Friends again?" And we stared @ ea other 4 what seemed like a silent penultimate panel, and then I sed, "MORE than friends again!" as we hugged.

In rel8ed news, Ger posted a comment l8 last nite:

Formerly dearest Becky flower,

I am sorry to have to break your heart, but I cannot be your concubine any longer. My dearest April flower came to me that day after Shannon made her speech in the cafeteria and told me she wants us to be "more than friends" again. I am not quite sure what caused her change of heart. Pater says that Patterson women have fickle and violent temperaments. I am kind of afraid of the "violent" part. Also, April is a Patterson, and Mater wants me to marry into the First Family of Milborough.

So, April and I have been secretly "more than friends" for a little while now. My relationship with you has been a sham for some time. However, I can no longer continue to see both of you, as my little April flower says there will be no more "comfy accommodation" from her until I break it off with you.

Anyway, thanks for the public exposure on that TV show and all. Also, it was fun losing our virginity together. That was the best day of my life.

Thanks again, and sorry, Gerald

I hope the "losing virginity" thing ends up b-ing an untrue thing staged 4 the Newlyfoobs reality show, like Howard hinted. If not, I mite hafta retcon myself 2 having slept w/Axel. Foob oper8ors R standing by.

Apes

I'm Full of Grudge-y Badness

So, more on my convo w/Shannon yesterday. She repeated, "The ... tele..e...thon ... @ the ... mall is ... 4 US, ...April!..." Then she added, "Kids ... w/ ... special needs." I was like, "I didn't know that!" Only I guess I totally wd have if I'd asked sum1, like Eva or Ger, insteada just getting my bitch on. Then Shannon went on, all, "Re...be...cca[h] ... is ... singing 4 free ... an' ... there will ... B ... dan...cers ... an' magic ... an' it will ... go 4 ... 24 hrs!" She added, "Yr ... band cd ... B there! ...They ... want ... every...1 2 par...tissss...i...pate!" And I was all, "No. I don't want 2 B on the same stage as Becky and Gerald." Shannon was like, "Then ... it's no... prob...lem, man! ....There's gonna B ... 2 ... stages!!" And I was all, "Oh." And geez, am I grudge girl or what?

Apes

Telethon

Well, back 2 me. Yeah, I know. I wanted 2 find out what happed next @ Shawna-Marie's wedding with Liz, Anthony, Mason, an' Julia, but I guess we have 2 w8. Hopefully not all the way until the July fam letters, eh?

So, I hadta go 2 the school xxtra early 2day, 4 xxam-rel8ed reazons, and Shannon was already there. She was all, "Hey...April...howya doin'?" I was all, "OK, I guess." Shannon went on, all "April ... I ... wan...na tell ... U ... sum...thing! There's gonna ... B ... a ... tel...a...thon ... @ the mall ... w/... live ... mu...sic ... an' ... every..thing!" I was like, "I know. My so-called boyfriend is playing drums 4 Rebeccah[h]." Shan was like, "R ... U ... going?" Me: "I dunno. ...Y?" And Shannon was all, "Be...cuz... the tele...thon's 4..." Then she made a dramatic hand gesture towards a few special-needs kids who were rite outside of that learning-center room, and sed, "US!!"

Hm, so the telethon. Good cause. Who cda seen that coming?

Apes

Professional Brat

Yeah, so after I had that hallway convo w/Ger, where it sounded like I coulda mayB dumped him, but mayB I was just saying I hoped Becky cd only stand him 4 one nite so he'd come back 2 me? Eva, Dunc, and Luis, of course, heard abt everything betw then and lunch, so when we were w8ing in line 4 our food, Eva was all, "April, if U and Gerald Rn't speaking 2 each other, what's gonna happen 2 the band?" And I was like, "I dunno." Luis sed, "U gotta think of the rest of us, man. U're lead guitar!" And I sed, "We'll continue on a professional level." Then we all sat, and I sed, "When U're on a professional level, U don't hafta B 'friends.' U can just concentr8 on the music. So--everything will B totally professional from now on." Then Ger came along, all "Mind if I have lunch w/U guys?" And I did another "Hmph!" When he sat, I got up, all, "Mind if I leave?" And Luis was like, "Cool move there, April! .....Very professional." I guess this is Y we made that "no d8ing in the band" rule all those years ago.

NEway, since Ger ran out an' boinked Becky the second he thot we mite possibly B broken up, I went out w/Axel Hibobbery last nite. He is so cube! He's a drummer, and he kinda looks like Anthony Kiedis, but taller. He works @ the music store in downtown Mboro, and gigs w/his band all around the area. He has a really cube loft, also downtown. So we went 2 that new goth-alternative club in Mboro, Bleakhaus, and we had the most awesome time! Dancing w/him was just, like electric or something! Then jamming w/his friends @ his loft was just xxtra cube!

Apes

How long do I have 2 stand MYSELF?

The other day, when I was in a big ol' pissy mood cuz Ger was gonna B playing drums 4 Becky's telethon gig, I was putting my blazer in2 my locker when Ger was all, "I dunno Y U're so ticked @ me, man! I was just kidding around when I told the guys abt 'party nite.'" And I was all, "Nothing 'happened' that nite, Gerald, and U KNOW it, but--U let ppl think..." He put a hand on my shoulder and sed, "HEY!! Relax! We're a couple! Remember?" And he looked so cute and earnest, I wanted 2 kiss him and just make up, but I cd hear that Witch of Corbeil voice being all "NO! HE IS NOT WORTHY! HE CONSORTS WITH THE ENEMY!" And so I was all, "I don't THINK so! --U lied abt me...an' now U're gonna play drums 4 Becky!" I was looking down @ sum books an' papers I was holding, so I cd have an xxcuse 4 the smug, closed-eyes Patterson look as I sed that last bit. Ger came back w/"But...that's a one-night stand!" And the Witch voice boomed, "WORDPLAY! U MUST MAKE A PUN ON ONE-NITE STAND!" So I looked over my shoulder and left him this stoopid parting shot: "Good!....I hope she can only stand U 4 one nite."

OMG, I think I broke up w/Ger!

Apes

Getting a H8 On

I can B such a petty, petty girl sumtymez. The day after Eva told me abt Ger having that gig w/Becky's band, where he'll get $150 an' B on TV, I was sitting next 2 Eva on the bus, being all, "I wanna know what's going on w/Becky an' Gerald, Eva." So I sed, "I'm gonna talk 2 them!" No, w8, of course I didn't say that. I'm a friggin' Patterson. I had 2 sit there and whine 2 Eva instead of going 2 the source[s]. So Eva sed, "I told U all I know.... Her drummer isn't available 4 this thing she's doing @ the mall, so she asked Gerald 2 fill in." And I went, "Hmph. So, he's gonna slither over 2 'the other side.'" The other side? What is my problem? And Eva was all, "It's just a telethon, April. It's not like she asked him 2 go on the road." And I closed my eyez, all smug Patterson, and sed, "Oh, I'd ask him 2 go on the road, alright." Then I half-opened my smug Patterson eyez and sed, "Then...I'd stomp all over him." Eva went in2 silhouette and laffed like an enabler.

OMG, I wish I cd get a grip on myself. I wish the stoopid Witch of Corbeil weren't obsessed with having me h8 on Becky and demand all my friends and associates 2 h8 on her or B considered disloyal. OMG, I don't h8 Becky, I won't h8 Ger 4 associ8ing w/her. What I h8? BEING APRIL PATTERSON.

Xxcuse me while I go mope 4 no good reason.

Apes

Moping and "TREASON"

So, back 2 when I was moping 2 Eva. After we'd finished the Hot Spudz potato chips, we went outside and sat on the front steps. I asked, "Do U think I'm weird, Eva?" And Eva was all, "Nope. If U're weird, then I'm weird, 2." And 4 a sec I thot abt Eva's cowpoke talk and how ppl def think that's weird, and I felt slightly panicky, but then I remembered what I wanted 2 say next, which was, "I feel, like, totally alone sumtymez. Nobody understands me. Nobody listens, nobody cares... I don't even think that Gerald does!" And Eva, who had disturbingly gone in2 silhouette, sipped sum non-silhouette water and sed, "Yeah... Gerald." Then, I think mayB cuz she realized she was all silhouetty, and wanted 2 B C'n 4 what she sed next, Eva stood up and got in front of me. Then, not in silhouette NEmore, she was all, "Did U know that he's agreed 2 do a gig w/Becky?" And I was all, "WHAT?!! That's, like, TREASON! What wd make him commit treason?!!" OK, I know it's not treason, but that's the kind of emo mood I was in that day. And Eva was all, "150 bucks, and a chance 2 B C'n on TV." And I went, "Oh." Yo, Becks, I'll do it 4 $100!!!

Apes

Liz berates herself while driving

Liz told me that on her way driving home from coffee w/Anthony (when he declined her offer 2 "escort" her 2 Shawna-Marie's wedding and revealed he'd been invited and asked a co-worker 2 go w/him), Liz found herself thinking, "DUMB, DUMB, DUMB, DUMB! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!" All in large, bold caps. Then she thot, "OF COURSE Anthony received an invitation 2 Shawna-Marie's wedding! OF COURSE he's going 2 invite sum1 else! he's not going 2 hang around 4ever w8ing 4 ME!!" Then the car behind her started honking at her, and the Howard-looking guy in the car 2 her rite was all, "Hey, lady! U got a green lite! What's wrong w/U?!!" Which surely wasn't xxpected 2 garner NE response, but Liz sez she clenched her eyez shut, unhinged her jaw, and yelled, "I'm a total IDIOT!"

Weird how Liz cd go thru an entire d8 w/Ger last nite and not realize he was Ger, even w/the fakey mustache. Liz: That was my bf, Gerald. He calls his dad "Pater" and his mother "Mater." He wasn't saying "Peter" and "Maytel."

Gah, I can't believe I was forced in2 that awful cinnamon bun/min-golf d8 w/Anthony last nite. Thanx 4 rescuing me, Howard and Becky. Kinda turned the tables on Anth there, eh? And OMG, can that guy talk abt himself, himself, himself. My head still hurts!

Apes

Warren being busy

After Liz finished xxplaining 2 Mom that the move 2 the choo-choo house, and Mike an' Dee taking over our house, were really happening and not just a theory, the fone rang and I answered it. It was Warren, 4 Liz. So I told Liz, who was brushing Edgar (since that was one of her chores that day). I hadta load the dishwasher, and while I was doing that, I heard Liz's side of the convo, where she was all, "Hi,Warren! ...Really? But I thot U had the weekend off? ....Oh. How long will U B in Yellowknife? Wow. So, I guess I won't C U 4 a while! Hey, no problem! Work B4 pleasure! Take care of yrself, OK? C ya!" Then, after she'd clicked the fone back in2 its cradle, she stuck her tongue out @ the fone, all, "BWAPPBLFTT!"

Jeremy, thanx sooooooooooooo much w/yr help sitting the littles. I was able 2 get lotsa h'work dun while U played hide an' seek and handled bedtime. Sorry U hadta get stuck w/an impromptu Liz grammar lesson and w/Mom's compulsive furniture choosing. Yeah, most ppl who come over wanna get away w/out having 2 talkta Mom.

Howard and Becky: Wow! Congrats on Becky scoring that duet w/Mizz Candy Rapper. Yeah, I'm not surprised 2 hear that she an' Brandy R actually v. smart and educ8ed, but I sure bet Liz will B!

Apes