Liz clues in the Ant

I got an e-mail from Liz, and this is what she sed:

April,

I know some of your nosy readers want to know about when I talked to Anthony about having the wedding this summer. Not that it's any of their business, but I don't want anyone spreading mean lies about me.

Anthony and I took the kid to the park again, and we let her run way, way ahead of us on the path. I was thinking that maybe she'd get lost and I'd keep Anthony distracted and he'd forget and I wouldn't have to worry about being a stepmother after all. So I told him about wanting to move the wedding to this summer.

Anthony said, "I thought we might wait until next year, Liz--But sooner is fine too!" I said, "It's because of my grandfather's health." Anthony replied, "I understand! We could get married tomorrow, next week, next month..." We turned to face each other, and I put a hand on each of his elbows as he put a hand on each of my upper arms. I told him, "I don't want this wedding to be big or lavish or complicated, Anthony." Anthony is soooooo in sync with me April. He said, "Neither do I." Isn't that just AMAZING? We are soooooo meant for each other! I don't even have to THINK about it!!!

Frenchy came up to us, and we did that thing where each of us takes one of her hands and she kind of swings between us. Anthony confessed, later, that while that was happening, he was thinking, "But weddings are like Woodstock.... Sometimes, They take on a life of their own!"

Oh, and for those of your meanie readers who complain about my hair being in a bun almost all the time. During this time in the park, I had my hair down, with a beautiful, wide headband! So there!

Liz

Yeah. OK. Whatever.

OMG, I M still kinda shaking over that scary-arse xxperience Jeremy an' I had in that alternate universe we found in the crawlspace. I was, like, shellshocked when I sed that stuff abt the ppl there being friendly and helpful. Scary and depressing is more like it! Jeremy, that is NOT my destiny! Not for sure! I think this must B like A Christmas Carol. That will only come true if I let it. If I don't take measures to make sure it never, ever happens. I need strategies 2 make sure it never does. Please help me think, Jeremy! U 2, Duncan. I M sure U don't want that 2 come true, either! MayB we all hafta make sure we never go back 2 Mboro after we leave 4 uni. I mean, if we're not in Mboro, there is no1 2 think big noses on us wd B "funny," 4 xxample. We cd live in, like, Halifax, Nova Scotia and have small noses, rite! Help, guyz!

Oh, BTW. Jeremy, his mom, stepdad, step-sis, and I R all traveling 2 Syracuse, NY 2day. 4 sum reason, his step-dad's grandmother lives there, and she is having a special celebration 4 her 100th bday! I won't have my fone w/me, cuz Mom commandeered it 2 lend 2 Liz cuz she lost hers and Mom sez she needs 2 B in constant contact w/Liz during wedding-planning logistics or whatevs. Jeremy mite B able 2 post, tho, assuming he has reception in Syracuse.

Apes

That wasn't what I meant

Gerald's in my science class. Wdn't it B interesting 2 know what happened in our science class? Like did we have a lab, and what type of science R we studying this yr, NEway? But no, it seems I M supposta B discussing what happed rite after our science class, when every1 but us 2 had left and we were dawdling.

Ger was all, "Do U think I'm crazy 2 want 2 tour w/Becky's band, April?" And I sed, "No. I think it's a wicked idea, actually." Sum of us @ RP Boire have decided it's funny 2 pretend we R from Boston, Massachusetts. NEway, I went on, as I picked up my notebook (4tunately avoiding the chemical spill on the counter), "I mean, she IS famous. U R gonna B onstage w/all the action, an' lites, an' screaming kids!" I finished picking up my notebook, and Ger came up 2 me and I looked up @ him and sed, "And Gerald... U really R a good drummer. U shd go 4 it. Do what yr heart tells U 2 do." And Ged sed "Thanks." Then he put his notebook sumwhere, I don't know where, put a hand on each of my shoulders, and kissed me on my mouth while actually saying "SMOOCH!!" Then he retrieved his notebook from wherevs and sed "Your suggestion!" Meanwhile I was so stunned I felt myself getting glassy-eyed, blushing, and saw six lines appear in the air, by the rite side of my face.

Sorry abt that, Jeremy, but like I sed, it was Gerald who did the "SMOOCH" on me. I didn't "suggest" it, despite what he sed. But just this morning, I overheard sumthing v. creepy. Mom on the fone. On her side, it was, "Yes, your Royal Corbeilness, I did distribute the memo 2 April's teachers, informing them that she is broken up with that Jones boy. As if! Of course it's going 2 B Gerald. We chose him 4 her when they were both eight yrs old!" Then she saw me and sed, "Got 2 go, the eagle has landed!" And hung up. I was like, "MOM! I'm w/Jeremy! Gerald and I agreed we're on different paths! We're not ending up w/ea other just cuz Mike and Liz both ended up w/their childhood sweethearts!" And Mom sed, "Your destiny happens whether you fite it or not. U can let it happen EZ, like Mike did, or U can make it difficult, like Liz!" And I sed, "U sound just like MIKE!" And Mom sed, "Yr brother is a wise man, April! Not 2 mention a published author!" And then I went 2 the washroom and got sick.

Apes

Promising

After Dunc, Eva, and I got back in2 the bldg after our not-deep talk on the bleachers and on the way back, I found Ger in the hallway, @ his locker. I sed, "Hey, Gerald... How's it going?" He was all, "OK." I sed, "R U still talking 2 me?" He was like, "Sure. Y not." Then I sed, "I was talking 2 Eva an' Duncan... An' we were saying that no matter what, ....No matter where we go, the 4 of us hafta stay friends. Alwayz." And Ger was all, "I'm cool w/that! ..U wanna keep in touch w/ME, April?" Which was kinda weird, cuz I thot that was what I'd just finished saying, but just in case Ger sumhow didn't understand, I was like, "Well, YEAH!" Then I sed, "Welll keep in touch w/Luis an' Becky and, sumday when there's a class reunion, an' we're all gray-haired an' OLD, we'll remember this day an' this promise--OK?!" And Ger sed, "Yeah! OK!!" Then we walked down the hall, him w/his arm resting on top of my rite shoulder, and me w/my hand on his back. And Ger sed, "But that day is SO far off... it's hard 2 even IMAGINE!" As he sed that, a portly old, balding male teacher walked by, and I guess that was supposta B sum kind of irony. I h8 when things happen just 4 that reason.

And as I write this, I realize that we made this big promise that "the 4 of us hafta stay friends" but we'll only "keep in touch w/Luis an' Becky." Y can't the SIX of us all B friends an' all? Hmm. And Y, Y, Y have we been talking like we're in grade 12, all farewellish.

Apes

I try a Patterson over-the-shoulder parting shot

I was walking w/Ger in2 the school recently, and we were complaining abt our homework load, as kids our age do. I channeled Keanu and Everett yet again w/a "Whoa!" And then sed, "If we're going crazy w/work now, what's it gonna B like when we get in2 university?!!" Um.... I'm not sure." Then he did that thing ppl always seem 2 do around here. He was perfectly quiet 4 the amt of time it took 4 us 2 get from the walkway in front of the school 2 the stairs, up the stairs, and in2 the school, B4 he continued w/"I don't think I'm gonna go." It's a gd thing that I hadn't 4gotten we were talking abt university. I was like, "U're kidding!"

He silently went 2 his locker, opened it, took his backpack off of his shoulder, and then sed, "Becky's asked me 2 tour w/her band this summer. It's an opportunity I don't wanna miss!" I went, "But... yr marks R so gd!" Ger sed, "It's not all abt school, April. It's abt following yr dreams--an' I'm gonna follow my dreams! ...An U?" 4 sum reason, the way he posed his question 2 me gave me the irresistible urge 2 do one of those Patterson over-the-shoulder parting shots that Patterson women R genetically predisposed 2. As Gerald literally shrank from being quite a bit taller than me 2 being like my height, I closed my eyes smugly while walking away, and over my shoulder, I spat, "I don't want 2 follow, Gerald... I want 2 LEAD!"

Then, since I wasn't looking where I was going, I bumped rite in2 Mrs. DeLong, who teaches Canadian history, and since she's a whole lot heftier and sturdier than I M, I fell flat on my back. When I came 2 in the nurse's office, I realized that I'd 4gotten 2 ask Ger Y touring w/Becky over the summer wd prevent him from going 2 university when we gradu8. Next year. As in, we finish grade 12 in June of 2009 and begin uni in the fall of 2009. Is sum1 trying 2 retcon us in2 being grade 12-ers now?

Apes

Happy New Platitudes

Huh, so I guess we're already dun discussing my NYE. That was quick. I just got back fr. Toronto. Dunc and I ended up staying up all nite talking @ the Horny T's where we met, near Trinity College, where Zandra is letting him stay while she's w/her fam and he w8's 4 his flite back 2 Barbados tomorrow.

So, on New Year's Day, I'd managed 2 get a bit of post-party sleep and was making sum oatmeal 4 brekky, when Mike burst thru the door, all, "Happy New Life!" I'm like, "Bwuh?" Then he sed that when he and Dee were lying in bed [ew!] that morning, she'd been like, "Good morning, Michael." And he'd been all, "Good morning, Dee." He sed they wrapped their arms around each other, even though Dee's rite arm seemed disturbingly foreshortened, and Dee sed, "Happy New Year!" He replied, "Yes... It's going 2 B a happy new year." Dee actually asked him, "How do U know?" And of course he answered, "Um... I just feel it. U know.... Like sumthing feels rite, and good, and positive. I feel there's a lot 2 look 4ward 2." Dee sed, "Yeah!" Then she squeezed her hed against his and sed, "Then... MayB what we're saying is 'Happy New Life." And Mike sed, "MayB it is." Then after telling me all this, Mike sed, "April, isn't that GREAT? Isn't it so xxciting! And wonderful?" I was like, "If U say so. Do U have 2 shout?"

Mike gave me a smug look and sed, "Oh, my, does my formerly little sis have a HANGOVER?" I sed, "No, of course not. And quit yelling at me!" He sed, "Oh, this is priceless. W8 until I tell Dad, so he can torment U. He's gr8 @ that!" I sed, "I'm not hungover, I'm just tired. Leave me alone, wd U? And quit being so loud!" Then Mike sed, "Oh, I almost 4got what I came 4. Mom sez U can babysit 2nite! Dee and I need 2 celebr8 our new life!" I sed, "No, Mike, I need 48-hr notice, @ least. I have plans 2nite...." And he sed, "Yr friend Jeremy can help babysit, and do sum chores around the house, of course." I sed, "No, Mike, I'm going out w/a group of friends." He sed, "U were going 2 go out w/a group of friends. U know Mom has the ultimate rite 2 veto yr plans!" And I sed, "I can't w8 2 get outta Mboro!"

But as U know, I ended up in TO w/Duncan. Mua-ha-ha. I think they mighta gotten Francie Caine 2 babysit, or mayB Rosemary Mayes.

Hm, now I've gotta try an' remember who I'm d8ing. Ger or Jer.

Apes

Easier

Happy New Year, ppl! Yay, it's 2008!

So, U know I went 2 Ger's NYE party last nite. When we rung in the New Year, Ger did that butt-hosting thing Patterson men and the men who d8 Patterson women like 2 do. As he did, we all yelled, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" Dunc was kinda spooning Eva while they were both standing, and Eva was holding up a mug of something and shouting, "Wooooo-Hoooo!" Luis yelled, "Make it a good one!" His girlfriend Rosario used a little megafone 2 shout "Peace!"

Then every1 went in2 silhouette and Ger started a slowdance w/me even tho the music was fast (as he alwayz does), and I sed, "I wonder where we'll B next New Year's Eve, Gerald." And he sed, "Let's not talk abt that." Then he ran over 2 the stereo, which was like six feet away, w/out letting go of me, but by stretching one arm like that guy Rex Reed in the Fantastic 4. As he did that, he was all, "Let's turn up the music and dance. --Let's just think abt now. I asked, "Why?" He retracted his arm, went back in2 slow dance 4mation, and sed, "B-cuz ... it's easier," kinda into my hairline.

R U confused? I mean, Ger an' I had broken up, rite? And I've been d8ing Jeremy. So did we just get back 2gether 4 NYE? So that we cd break up again? And Y R we acting as tho we R in our senior yr of HS when we R only in 3rd yr? Well, things mite b-come more clear as I tell the rest of this story over the next few days. Or mayB they'll B clear as mud. Either way, have a faboo new year, and get bizzy w/those NY rezzos!

Apes

I speak stilty, yo

Ger's having a party 2nite 4 NYE. Wow, I can't believe my NYE is possibly getting attention this yr. It's almost alwayz Mike and/or Liz and their celebrations, like @ Gordo's parties. Lotsa ppl had gd money on Anthony popping the Q 2 Liz @ Gordo's NYE party.

NEhoodles, so I d-cided 2 put on my new NYE dress this morning as kind of a preview, and Dad was all, "So, New Year's Eve is @ Gerald's place!" And I sed, w/that patented closed-eyed Patterson smug look, "Yup! There'll B 8 couples --how do I look?" I've been watching that show from the U.S.'s Style network, How Do I Look, w/Finola Hughes. Dad was like, "U look beautiful, April! It's hard 2 believe U're my little girl." I put one hand on Dad's chest, xxtended the other one palm up, and was all, "I'll alwayz B yr little girl, Pop!" Then I put one hand on my sternum, Patterson style, and was all, "I mean, I'll soon talke off 4 university, then I'll have a career and an apartment an' I'll travel and get married sumday and mayB move far away, but..." And as I was saying that while also thinking, "Who TALKS like this?" Dad cut in w/"STOP!!" And then he hugged me an' sed, "I'd better get all the hugs in while I can!"

So, yeah, I'm going 2 a NYE party @ Ger's house. U mite B wondering if Ger an' I R back 2gether and whether Jeremy and I Rn't NEmore. Well, it's kinda complic8ed, and.... Well, I'll have 2 xxplain 2 U as the NYE story unwinds.

Apes

Zzzzzz

Well, in case NE1 wondered what happed @ the TTH rite after our so-called Xmas dinner this past Sunday (I know U weren't), when Dad was pulling the car in2 the driveway, Mom was all, "Oh, What's-er'-name, er, April, all those dishes from the desserts have 2 B brot in and washed. I know U won't mind. We'll catch up w/U inside."

So, as I was taking the dishes in2 the kitchen 2 wash 'em, I cd hear Mom and Dad having a dull convo as they put away their coats. Dad was being all, "Well, that was wonderful! The tree, the gifts, the decorations and the dinner.... The whole family was there in the true spirit and joy of the season!" Yeah, nuthing sez "Yuletide" like sequestering the yungest members of yr fam in the kitchen and thinking evil thots while a well-meaning in-law sez grace. Mom sed, "Yes--I think that was one of the best Xmas evenings I've ever had!" Then, I had a hunch she was thot-bubbling, so I peeked out from the kitchen, and sure enuf she had a thot bubble, all "...It was @ sumbody ELSE'S house!!!" Mom looked disturbingly manly as she was thinking that.

So, let's C. U know what happed w/Mom an' Dad rite after the dinner, and U know abt Liz an' Anthony. I predict that there will B sum sharing 2morrow abt Mike and Dee's reaction 2 the dinner. Not mind, b-cuz I'm not considered important enuf. Oh, and Liz d-cided 2 write in sum more last nite w/sum bonus info 4 U interested readers:

April,

Okay, well, I promised to tell you more about what happened between me and Anthony, let's just say that he was very persistent, and I had to be very insistent about guarding my secondary virginity, well, finally, Anthony asked why I wouldn't let him "slip one past the goalie" (yes that's how he put it) and I explained to him it was a curse, if we did it before marriage, we would never walk down the aisle, well Anthony asked how far we were allowed to go, and I checked the handy little "Sexual Purity Guide" that the Johnston Institute puts out, and it turns out that premarital fondling of certain body parts normally kept hidden by underpants is okay, as long as the room is totally dark and it's just the woman doing the man, after all, a good woman does not experience s-e-x type pleasure, she just does it for the babies, anyway, it was awful, by morning my palms were rubbed raw, and Anthony was passed out across the bed sideways with his man-thing hanging out, and Frenchy came wandering down the hall, yelling for her daddy, turns out we were so wrapped up in our whole negotiation thing that we left her in the car seat last night and she spent the night in the garage which is fortunately attached to the house but is still cold as a refrigerator, she seems okay, just a little blue-ishy, but that went away after I plunked her down next to a heating vent before I left to go to the drugstore to buy salve for my hands, April, when you turn 18, you would be smart to just marry Gerald right away, so you don't have to go through years of this kind of agony, it is almost like some ugly old woman is drawing my "story" out to torture me.

Liz

OMG, poor Francie! What agencies do we call 2 intervene w/the kind of neglect?!?!?!?!

And I dunno if Ger wd even B interested NEmore in marrying me when we turn 18. I heard a rumour that Becky dumped Dustin Jimberlake and started d8ing Ger, in spite of her dad's wishes.

Apes

Recycling Liz lines?

So that boring schoolday I was tellin' U all abt of course ended w/a bus ride home. I sat w/Eva, who was all, "Gerald was pretty bummed when U didn't want 2 do music professionally." And I was like, "Neither does Duncan... and Luis sez he doesn't know what he wants 2 do." Eva was like, "Well, I want 2 keep singing, but it looks like our band is gonna have 2 break up, so....." And I sed, "So--let's make the best of it, Eva. We still have sum time left! We're still 2gether!" And Eva was all, "Yeah.... We're still 2gether." U'd think we were going off 2 uni 2morrow insteada in a yr and a half. But whatevs. Then I had this thot, as Eva and I both had our mascara run out the corner of each rite eye--this thot was like if sum1 who was in charge of corny lines had 4gotten that Liz had already dun this was sum months ago: "Sumtymez, when U look on the brite side.... the sun gets in yr eyez." C what I mean? Oh, and also my hair curse remembered that it had retooled my bun when I turned 16, and it went back 2 its "April @ 16" variant.

Jeremy, that was pretty krayzee @ Koolhaus yesterday. Thanx 4 helping me w/the whole toy-bunny sitch. That replacement really does look identical 2 the one that got confisc8ed. I hafta say I kinda enjoyed what happed around midnite--Becky's Dad/manager Thorvald McGuire storming in, grabbing Becky while shouting, "What did Fafa tell U abt that not-a-Viking Gerald Forsythe! Fafa is setting U up with Dustin Jimberlake!" And then he carried her out under her arm, like she was a newspaper! And Gerald just kinda whimpered. U were pretty good abt restraining yr laughter.

Apes

Paths

When I was getting sum books from my locker, Ger was standing there all, "U changed over the summer, April. When U came back from Manitoba, U were... different." Hm, no1 else seemed 2 notice that I was NEthing @ all when I came back from Manitoba. Xxcept 4 being sum1 who likes butter tarts w/no raisins. As we started 2 walk away from the locker, I told Ger, "I had a gr8 time when I was in Manitoba. They trusted me @ the veterinary clinic. They taught me a lot and made me feel like I really belonged. " Then we randomly stopped 2 face ea other in the hall, and I sed, "I want 2 study vet medicine, Gerald. It's gonna take a long time, but it's sumthing I know I can do. --It feels rite 4 me!" And Ger was all, "So, we'll B taking v. different paths." We started walking again, and I kinda snuggled up to whom, linking arms, putting my head on his shoulder, while saying, "But we can still meet along the way."

BTW, my hair curse has been back 2 its standard propeller bun. Bleccch.

Apes

Over?

Back 2 the school hallways. Ger and I had just walked in, and I was tossing away sum trash in its proper receptacle while saying, "It's not like I won't do the Halloween gig, Gerald.... I just wanted U 2 know that I'm not in2 this stuff like U R. I mean, U're an awesum drummer--and U've probably got a chance... Especially since U've been on stage with Rebecca[h]. But.... even tho I luv music, --It's not gonna B my whole life!" And here's what Ger sed: "So... it's over. I knew it was gonna end." I was like, "We can still B a band!" And Ger sed, "....But we won't B a couple."

Ouch. So mayB we're breaking up. Again. And I know we R in2 sum weird either/or thinking rite here. All or nuthin'. That kinda thing. That's Mboro. And R.P. Boire Senior Secondary.

Apes

Fun and Fame

After what I sed yesterday abt wanting 2 party on Halloween, we all went outside. Luis, Ger, and Dunc all sat down on the front steps, and Eva and I stood behind them on the landing, wearing matchng jackets. Luis started having a pop and a danish cuz he gets the shakes if he doesn't snack every couple of hrs. Luis was all, "April's kinda rite, Ger... We don't plan on being professional musicians." Dunc sed, "An' work-wise, this is gonna B a heavy yr!" Luis was like, "Yeah... If I'm gonna pull in the marks I need, I can't perform on weekends." Eva draped her arms around Dunc's shoulders, kinda lookin' as if she was trying 2 get in2 his shirt pockets, as Dunc sed, "We can just... U know, play 4 fun!" Ger put a hand 2 his sternum, all, "FUN?! --U wanna B a band 4 fun? --I can't believe U guys! We are, like, the best in this area!" As in the front-step area? And Dunc was all, "Can't U B happy w/that?" Ger scrunched his eyes shut, extended both hands out, so the palms were parallel, and yelled, "I don't wanna B happy! --I wanna B FAMOUS!!" I stood behind him lookin' gobsmacky.

Hm. The fun-vs.-fame divide. I guess most of us have really absorbed my fam's ethos on this one. How many wanna wager that Ger's gonna end up playing in Becky's band for the longterm. And mayB play with Becky in other ways, 2, IYKWIM?

Apes

Wherein I channel Fleetwood Mac

Keesha, thanx 4 giving me the link 2 yr interview w/Mike 4 the school paper.

Hey, did U know I'm still in a band? And that Dunc came back from Barbardos? Well, I am [that may B ending] and he did.

So, the other day, I was standing in the hallway @ school w/Dunc and Luis, when Ger came along. Ger was all, "It's totally arranged, guys. We R THE BAND on "Wicked Wednesday." Dunc went, "Cool!" and Luis sed, "Aw-right." I was like, "Yay." Ger's ears went way hi on his head as he sed, "Yay"? ...U sound less than enthused." And I went, "Gerald, we're giving up another Halloween nite 2 perform!" Which, now that I think of it, is an odd thing 2 say, cuz when have we ever given up a Halloween nite 2 perform. Last yr, we played @ Gym Jam, but that was during the day--and what did we even do on Halloween nite? I don't remember. And the yr B4 that? What big Halloween performance did we do? NEway, w/this new chip in my brain that sez we R alwayz giving up our Halloween nites 2 B the entertainment, I was like, "Y don't WE party 4 a change?" And Ger was all, "Party?!! But we're popular now! We're on the ladder of success!" Eh, since when? I was like, "I don't wanna B on this ladder!" Eva, who had been consipicuously absent, suddenly appeared, as if a bad storyteller had only just remembered that she's in our band and oughta B present. Ger asked, "U wanna sit on the stump of mediocrity?" And I sed, "No. ....I want to go my own way." Then Eva busted out w/"U can go your own way/Go your own way/U can call it/Another lonely day/U can go your own way/Go your own way." And then, the next thing that happened was--aw, nuts, my fone's ringing--I'll hafta tell U 2morrow.

Apes

Being Careful

Well, I accidentally ended up staying @ a hotel w/the Forsythe fam last nite, and early this morning, I got a call from Mom on my cell reminding me that my flight 2 Winni is this afternoon, so I'd better get back rite away 2 finish packing and getting ready. I got the earliest bus I cd, and it dropped me off by the park, which I had 2 cross thru on my way back 2 the TTH.

On my way thru the park, and I noticed that Liz was with Anthony and Françoise in the playground, which I hadta cross thru on my way home. I didn't wanna listen in, but I ended up catching part of their convo NEway.

Liz and Anthony were standing by the benches, and Françoise was all, "Daddy? Can I play on the swings?" And Anthony was all, "Sure! We'll B rite here." Which kinda surprised me, cuz Francie is abt a month shy of two and a half, and w/kids that age, most parents don't let them run off and do the swings by themselves. Usually 2.5-yr-olds use those special swings where they're strapped in, like a big plastic car seat. But the Mboro Park playground doesnt seem 2 have that kind.

Well, as Francie was off 2 the swings, Liz was all, "Françoise is such a beauty, Anthony." Anthony sed, "I think so. ...She has the best of Thérèse and me." Then he paused and sed, "Thanks 4 coming 2 the park w/us this morning." Liz went, "Thanx 4 asking me." And Anthony was like, "We're being very polite 2 1 another, Rn't we!" Liz was all, "I think... after C'ing ea other @ the wedding.... ....We're being careful."

That was all I heard on my way passing thru the playgd.

Apes

Our song

Eva and I sang our song. I won't write out the lyrics, but U can listen 2 the song by going here, then rite-clicking on the link that sez "download it here," then saving the mp3 on yr 'puter.

Even tho I was up on the stage singing w/Eva, I cd hear Becky and Ger talking backstage. I heard Ger's voice asking, "What do U think of them, Rebecca[h]?" And I heard Becky's voice being all, "They're good. They're really good." Ger's voice was like, "That's a compliment!!" And Becky's voice sed, "That's the truth."

That made me so happy. If Becky liked the song, I guess that makes it official that it went over well. Eva and I wrote it really fast, on the way 2 the telethon, and I was afraid that wd B super-obvious and that every1 wd think it was hokey dreck. But if Becks thot we were really good, I feel totally valid8ed!

Howard, I think it's poss the SN kids I had lunch w/all thoze wks ago @ school had sum misconceptions abt the telethon. Like when Shannon sed there were 2 stages and Becky and I wd play on diff ones. That didn't turn out 2 B true. I think when Faith sed that stuff abt providing wheel chairs an' other stuff, she mighta been mistaken. Or winging it. Thanx again 4 the special food 4 Chichuachua-Ger. I have a feeling the Witch won't make him stay in doggie form 4 long.

Apes

Diff But Same

When Becky finished her set, the MC guy was all, "Put yr hands 2gether 4 REBECCA[H]!!" Then, he was like, "Folks! Keep those fones ringing, keep the donations rolling in! --This is hr 4 of the gr8 'Hearts 2gether Telethon'!" Backstage, I went over 2 Ger all, "Gerald, U were gr8!" And Ger was like, "Thanx! U're on next! --Go 4 it!!" Eva and I got on stage, and I intro'ed us, "This is a song we wrote--it's called 'Everybody's Different.' But... Deep down inside ... we're really all the same." From the front row, Shannon and her mom looked up @ us w/luv in their eyes, I think. And Faith, Dylan, Jack, and Grace were clustered behind Shan.

Apes

Breaks and Breakups

More telethon talk. Eva and I were watching Becky's set, and Eva was like, "Rebecca[h]'s sound is so amazing!" And I sed, "That's cuz Gerald is on drums!" Not a diss 2 U Becks, it's just that I'd never heard Ger playing 4 NE1 else, so it just really hit me how good he is! We were heading 4 the backstage area, 2 get ourselves ready 4 our set, and Eva sed, "I wonder what it's like 2 B famous. She must get everything she wants." And I was like, "MayB." Then Eva, the shizzle-stirrer, was all, "What if she wants Gerald, April? What if she wants 2 take him on tour?" Not taking Eva's b8, I sed, "That wd B awesum! That wd B his 1st big break!" We'd gotten 2 the backstage area, and I was taking my guitar out of its case when Eva was like, "But... what abt our band?!! --What about U?!!" And I didn't answer, but I peeked out @ Ger from backstage, watching him play drums, and I thot, "Sumtymes, a big break means a big breakup." Memo 2 Ger: me thinking we mite hafta break up doesn't mean we're broken up an' U shd have sex w/Becky, K?

Apes

Being "Cool" at the Beach

Yeah, so like I mentioned in yesterday's comments, I went 2 the beach w/a buncha friends yesterday. B-sides Ger, Dunc, an' Eva, we had Vicks and also Gordie, who has lost sum w8 and stopped wearing berets since my b-day celebration of last yr, and Keitha and Raphael, who I don't know v. well but who R kinda tite w/Gordie. There was also this guy Chuck, who's friends w/Ger cuz of hockey and basketball.

When we 1st got there, Dunc waved Eva's red bikini in the air. 4 sum reason, she was the last person 2 change in1 her suit. 4 a while there, she stayed in her purple tube top and shorts that were, like, neon green w/purple flowers in diff sizes. I wore a red-orange bikini w/lite orange, green-bordered polka dots on it, Vicks wore a hot pink one-piece an' blue shorts, and Keitha wore a purple one-piece.

NEway, 4 sum reason we were hung up on taking pix of every lil thing we did while we were there. It was kinda like when my fam 1st got a digital camera in March of 2003. Well, this time around, 1st we did a big ol' group shot where we struck dumb poses and Eva took the pic. Then Ger an' Gordie both mooned me an' I took a pic (nice butts!). Then Gordie got a shot of Dunc holding Eva on his shoulders while she held a can of pop and pretended it was beer. Then Ger remembered hearing abt the time I went 2 the beach w/Liz in August of 2004, spat watermelon seeds on her back while she dozed face-down w/her top untied, and then ran after me and accidentally xxposed herself 2 every1. And he thot the whole spitting-seeds thing was so hilarious that he asked me 2 do that 2 his back, while Dunc took a picture. Then Ger snapped a pic of me, Keitha, and Eva in the water spouting water out of our mouths, in imitation of whales. Then after all that, we looked @ the pics we'd saved on the camera, and Dunc was like, "Oh, man! Sumday, we're gonna look @ these fotos... an' C how totally cool we were!"

And 4 sum reason, I had a feeling that middle-aged peeps everywhere were shaking their heads over that an' laffing @ us, even tho no middle-aged peeps were in earshot just then. Weird how I get feelings like that sumtymes.

Apes

Ger and I = More Than Friends Again

Ger an' I have been sharing a secret since Monday of last week.

U C, after Shannon's speech in the hallway, I went up 2 him, all "Gerald?" Ger was cleaning out his locker, and he turned 2 me, all "I thot U weren't speaking 2 me." And I sed, "Well I am. Our band shd do the telethon. I don't care if U R playing drums 4 Rebecca[h]... It's 4 a gd cause." And Ger sed, "Friends again?" And we stared @ ea other 4 what seemed like a silent penultimate panel, and then I sed, "MORE than friends again!" as we hugged.

In rel8ed news, Ger posted a comment l8 last nite:

Formerly dearest Becky flower,

I am sorry to have to break your heart, but I cannot be your concubine any longer. My dearest April flower came to me that day after Shannon made her speech in the cafeteria and told me she wants us to be "more than friends" again. I am not quite sure what caused her change of heart. Pater says that Patterson women have fickle and violent temperaments. I am kind of afraid of the "violent" part. Also, April is a Patterson, and Mater wants me to marry into the First Family of Milborough.

So, April and I have been secretly "more than friends" for a little while now. My relationship with you has been a sham for some time. However, I can no longer continue to see both of you, as my little April flower says there will be no more "comfy accommodation" from her until I break it off with you.

Anyway, thanks for the public exposure on that TV show and all. Also, it was fun losing our virginity together. That was the best day of my life.

Thanks again, and sorry, Gerald

I hope the "losing virginity" thing ends up b-ing an untrue thing staged 4 the Newlyfoobs reality show, like Howard hinted. If not, I mite hafta retcon myself 2 having slept w/Axel. Foob oper8ors R standing by.

Apes

I'm Full of Grudge-y Badness

So, more on my convo w/Shannon yesterday. She repeated, "The ... tele..e...thon ... @ the ... mall is ... 4 US, ...April!..." Then she added, "Kids ... w/ ... special needs." I was like, "I didn't know that!" Only I guess I totally wd have if I'd asked sum1, like Eva or Ger, insteada just getting my bitch on. Then Shannon went on, all, "Re...be...cca[h] ... is ... singing 4 free ... an' ... there will ... B ... dan...cers ... an' magic ... an' it will ... go 4 ... 24 hrs!" She added, "Yr ... band cd ... B there! ...They ... want ... every...1 2 par...tissss...i...pate!" And I was all, "No. I don't want 2 B on the same stage as Becky and Gerald." Shannon was like, "Then ... it's no... prob...lem, man! ....There's gonna B ... 2 ... stages!!" And I was all, "Oh." And geez, am I grudge girl or what?

Apes