April's Real Blog

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Liz clues in the Ant

I got an e-mail from Liz, and this is what she sed:

I know some of your nosy readers want to know about when I talked to Anthony about having the wedding this summer. Not that it's any of their business, but I don't want anyone spreading mean lies about me.

Anthony and I took the kid to the park again, and we let her run way, way ahead of us on the path. I was thinking that maybe she'd get lost and I'd keep Anthony distracted and he'd forget and I wouldn't have to worry about being a stepmother after all. So I told him about wanting to move the wedding to this summer.

Anthony said, "I thought we might wait until next year, Liz--But sooner is fine too!" I said, "It's because of my grandfather's health." Anthony replied, "I understand! We could get married tomorrow, next week, next month..." We turned to face each other, and I put a hand on each of his elbows as he put a hand on each of my upper arms. I told him, "I don't want this wedding to be big or lavish or complicated, Anthony." Anthony is soooooo in sync with me April. He said, "Neither do I." Isn't that just AMAZING? We are soooooo meant for each other! I don't even have to THINK about it!!!

Frenchy came up to us, and we did that thing where each of us takes one of her hands and she kind of swings between us. Anthony confessed, later, that while that was happening, he was thinking, "But weddings are like Woodstock.... Sometimes, They take on a life of their own!"

Oh, and for those of your meanie readers who complain about my hair being in a bun almost all the time. During this time in the park, I had my hair down, with a beautiful, wide headband! So there!

Yeah. OK. Whatever.

OMG, I M still kinda shaking over that scary-arse xxperience Jeremy an' I had in that alternate universe we found in the crawlspace. I was, like, shellshocked when I sed that stuff abt the ppl there being friendly and helpful. Scary and depressing is more like it! Jeremy, that is NOT my destiny! Not for sure! I think this must B like A Christmas Carol. That will only come true if I let it. If I don't take measures to make sure it never, ever happens. I need strategies 2 make sure it never does. Please help me think, Jeremy! U 2, Duncan. I M sure U don't want that 2 come true, either! MayB we all hafta make sure we never go back 2 Mboro after we leave 4 uni. I mean, if we're not in Mboro, there is no1 2 think big noses on us wd B "funny," 4 xxample. We cd live in, like, Halifax, Nova Scotia and have small noses, rite! Help, guyz!

Oh, BTW. Jeremy, his mom, stepdad, step-sis, and I R all traveling 2 Syracuse, NY 2day. 4 sum reason, his step-dad's grandmother lives there, and she is having a special celebration 4 her 100th bday! I won't have my fone w/me, cuz Mom commandeered it 2 lend 2 Liz cuz she lost hers and Mom sez she needs 2 B in constant contact w/Liz during wedding-planning logistics or whatevs. Jeremy mite B able 2 post, tho, assuming he has reception in Syracuse.


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  • At 9:07 AM, OpenID patrickrsghost said…

    I read that too and nearly had a heart attack. That was probably the most scariest thing I have read or seen so far, and I've read a few Stephen King books, and I've done some paranormal investigations in the past, like those guys on that TV show "Ghost Hunters." That alternate universe was just too scary.

  • At 10:55 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april's blog peeps, a little confusion wen we got on i-90 in new york & april sed, "shudn't we b going west 2 get to syracuse?" my mom sed, "no dear. thass the way frum albany. we have 2 go east frum toronto." 4 sum reasn this got april rilly confused, but i think she figgered it out now.

    neway, we hadda weird discussion 'bout how 2 prevent wut appeared 2b april's future frum happenin'. she says the peeps in the alternate future weren't friendly & helpful, but they were. they made good coffee, i thot. they were scary 2 april, cuz they were like she duzn't wanna b.

    so, april like had the car stop & proposed 2 me @niagara falls. she figgered if she wuz already married 2 me, then she wudn't marry gerald. of course, i sed "yes", but my mom wuz like, "april patterson. u do not propose marriage 2 sum1 just cuz ur tryin' 2 change the future. thass almost az bad az gettin' married just so a sick relative can make the ceremony. if ur gonna propose 2 jeremy, then u do it wen ur ready." april agreed w/mom & she wuz a little mbarrassed, so she kinda unproposed. we both decided that grade 11 wuz a little early. so 4 a few minutes i wuz engaged 2 april, & that pretty much made my day.

  • At 3:41 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. I don’t know if Elizabeth’s story had everyone else on pins and needles, but it certainly did for me. I had been coaching Anthony Caine for months on the proper method of courtship for Elizabeth, and he almost messed the whole thing up. As you know, April, Elizabeth will turn tail and run at the first hint of a serious romance in a relationship; so I have told Anthony to play it very low key, in the hope that he may be married to Elizabeth before she realizes that it has happened. He was going along with her “one day at a time thing” idea very well. I had told him that you and mom had gotten Elizabeth to agree to set a date based on the idea that Grandpa Jim was about die. It’s a good thing Elizabeth doesn’t actually visit Grandpa Jim, or she would know that he’s not in that bad of health. After all, he was out at the park with my family and his great grandchildren not too long ago; so she could read between the lines about Grandpa’s health, but we know Elizabeth is not going to do that.

    I had told Anthony when Elizabeth brings up the wedding date, he can pretend like he had a date in mind for a long way off, like next year or something undefined like that. He did that part excellently. But then he said that whole thing about how they could get married tomorrow, next week, next month; and my heart nearly leapt out of my chest reading that. No. No. No. I told him a million times not to display any overt affection to Elizabeth or she will figure out that she is getting into an actual serious relationship, and she will bolt, just like she did with all her other boyfriends (including Anthony for that matter). However, I don’t think anyone would have guessed how long it was until she mentioned it to Anthony. I think the delay may have thrown him off, because he might have thought she would tell him the same day she decided with Mom to do it.

    It was a narrow escape this time, but next we not be so lucky. Fortunately Elizabeth so obsessed with her idea about have a wedding that is neither big, nor lavish nor complicated; it distracted her from realizing what Anthony said. We were lucky that time. We may not be so lucky next time.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 6:19 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april’s peeps, lemme c. b-day party in syracuse. since it iz my step-dad’s gramma’s 100th bday, april wuz a little afraid there might b a big scented candle in the cake, which wud kinda ruin the cake. it wuz a rilly big cake tho & all 100 candles. it wuz pretty mpressive & lotsa cake. april kept rilly cool ‘bout whether or not the cake wuz made w/thingz that r not vegan. april wuz rilly mpressed & i think she iz gonna have a lot more detailz ‘bout the party, which will seem more like a real-life party w/a 100-year-old woman shud b.

    i rilly don’t know my step-dad’s rellies that well, since mom & he haven’t been married 4 v. long. i wuz kinda gettin’ know peeps myself. but i introduced april ‘round az well az i cud. sumtymez april gets a little overwhelmed by odd thingz i do, & 4 sum reasn this wuz 1 of them. i sed, “wussup? ur gettin’ a little teary.” & she sed sumthin’ ‘bout how she nevah had a bf who introduced her 2 peeps she didn’t know b4. & yeah, i guess wen u think ‘bout it, thass not sumthin’ gerald did. i guess if gerald evah did that, then prolly april wud’ve spent more tyme w/gerald & his sports teams buddiez & stuff. it’s hard 2 do that, if u bf duzn’t make sure u know every1.

    neway april sorta got it under control wen i introduced her 2 my new step-gr8 grandma. she sed, “it’s so nice 2 meet u & ur gf, jeremy. she’z a lovely girl.” then april got all weepy again. & step-gr8 grandma sed, “wussup?” & mom stepped in & told the whole story ‘bout how we went 2 that future place & april wuz worried her life wuz all planned out & how she proposed 2 me & that whole story, which i know april did not wunt ne1 2 repeat. thanx, mom. of course, the real reasn wuz cuz step-gr8 grandma called april, “lovely” & april’s not usedta peeps tellin’ her she’s pretty. but neway, step-gr8 grandma sed 2 april, “i dunno how thingz r in canada, but in my day, if a girl & boy ur age were serious ‘bout each othah, she wud wear his class ring. do u have a class ring, jeremy?”

    well, that led 2 a whole long story ‘bout y villainz in mboro don’t get a class ring, which rilly confuzed step-gr8 grandma. so then she got up & sed, “well, i think i have an old class ring ‘round here sumwhere. & she got up & april looked shocked 4 just a moment & headed 2ward her. i sed, “thass not a standin’ ovation. she’z just gettin’ up 2 get sumthin’.” & april calmed down. step gr8-grandma sed, “ah, here it iz. my l8 husband’s old class ring frum 1925. he’z not usin’ it nemore. y don’t u uze that?” i took the ring & started 2 put it on & step gr8-grandma sed, “no, jeremy. u give it 2 ur girl 2 wear on a chain or sumtymez on her fingah, if she haz big enuff fingahs.” so i gave it 2 april & she put it on. she sed, “it duzn’t fit perfectly.” i sed, “it’s not supposed 2.” april looked a little confuzed by this, ‘till mom sed, “let’s just tie it on a good thick string 4 a necklace ‘till jeremy buys u sumthin’ a little bettah 2 hold it.” i sed, “thanx, mom. step-gr8 grandma.” & april sed, “oh, yes. thanx.”

    so, april likes the ring a lot. a real lot. A rilly, rilly lot. she sed 2 step-gr8 grandma, “peeps r rilly nice here in the st8s. iz there a university 4 vet medicine here?” sum of the n.y. rellies sed, “i think there’s 1 @cornell university in ithaca, but it’s rilly tuff 2 get n2.” i can c april’s mind workin’ that mebbe she mite wanna go there. & sum peeps say the school of music @ithaca college in the same town isn’t 2 bad. so…who knows? upst8 ny?

  • At 10:12 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    patrickrsghost, yeah, that was even scarier than stephen king's kinda scary!

    yeah, i was confused 4 a mo there abt the whole east-west thing on i90. then i realized i'd had one of those weird dreams where i'm a 41-yr-old woman who lives in albany. in the dream, my dream self, her 5yo son, husband, bil and sil all went 2gether 2 syracuse, taking i90, cuz my dream self's husband's step-grandmother was having her 100th b-day. the similar sitches really thru me!

    let's c. the ppl hosting the party were jeremy's step-dad's mom and dad, who also live in syracuse. sum other rellies who live in toronto came down, too, and since jeremy's step-gran and step-gramps live in kind of a small house, it turned out they were having 2 celebrations. they're gonna have a 2nd party wednesday, 4 more local rellies and friends.

    i cd hardly believe how sharp and healthy jeremy's step-gr8-gran is! jeremy's step-gran was talking 2 jeremy abt how she likes 2 cook, and she's got certain recipes she makes all the time, but she always has 2 check the cookbook each time. while she was in the middle of all that, the step-gr8-gran was like, "jeremy, what is she talking with u abt?" jeremy told her, "cooking." the step-gr8-gran shook her head in this pretend-serious way, while her eyes were totally laffing, and sed, "don't believe a word she sez! u never know when she's just making stuff up! i know her. also, she'll never grow up!" this is xxtra funny cuz the step-gran is, like, 75.

    neway, i luv the school ring. jeremy sez he's gonna buy me a necklace 2 go w/it 2morrow! and i m def looking in2 cornell and other places in the st8s!



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