April's Real Blog

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Mom tells Liz there's no rush

When Liz dropped me off after giving me a ride home from my visit w/Gramps, she and Mom had a sit-down in the kitchen. Liz told Mom, "Mom, I really don't want 2 rush in2 this marriage. I want 2 take my time." Mom sed, "Of course U do. My Dad saw U in my mother's [yeah, right!] wedding dress, Elizabeth. He doesn't have 2 C U walk down the aisle. It's enuf 4 him 2 know U're happy and have solid plans 4 the future. Don't rush. Take yr time. This decision is yrs and Anthony's 2 make. Do what's right 4 U." Then Liz sed, "On the other hand... A summer wedding wd B nice!"

Hm, I think Mom mighta used sum reverse-psych there, don't U? Notice she never sed that Liz seems 2 B having 2nd thots about marrying Anthony @ all, and that mayB this means he really isn't the one 4 her after all. Doesn't it sound like Liz's fear of "rushing" pts 2 that?

Apes

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19 Comments:

  • At 7:32 AM, OpenID patrickrsghost said…

    It sure did sound like reverse psych. Your mom has a way of manipulating people into doing her bidding. Maybe she's watched "Star Wars" one too many times. "Paul is not the man you're looking for. Warren is not the man you want to marry. Anthony is the right man for you. A summer wedding will be nice." Your dad was the same way in the past.

    Better watch it, or they'll come after you next. I think she's already worked some of it on you with your "credit" line a few days ago.

    Maybe Liz doesn't want a summer wedding. Weddings in summer are too cliché. So many other people have weddings in the summer. The month of June is very popular for weddings.

    Which brings me to the dress. One thing that I've always wondered was whether or not that really is Grandma Marian's dress. I've always thought it was stuffed far back in that crawlspace by whoever owned the house before your parents bought it. It was probably so caked with dirt that they thought it was a brick, so they didn't think to move it. They just stuffed the box of Mike's old toys back there in front of it, and continued piling junk in that crawlspace, forgetting about most of it after they moved.

     
  • At 8:27 AM, OpenID dreadedcandiru2 said…

    patrickrsghost:

    Which brings me to the dress. One thing that I've always wondered was whether or not that really is Grandma Marian's dress. I've always thought it was stuffed far back in that crawlspace by whoever owned the house before your parents bought it. It was probably so caked with dirt that they thought it was a brick, so they didn't think to move it. They just stuffed the box of Mike's old toys back there in front of it, and continued piling junk in that crawlspace, forgetting about most of it after they moved.

    Not that that would occur to anyone. It would be a great thing to see the real former owner of the dress show up and explain that to them if only to make them realie that the world isn't arranged for their benefit.

     
  • At 11:45 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    patrickrsghost, one of the reasons i wanna 2 go way 4 uni and then not come back 2 mboro afterwards is that i wanna make sure my mom doesn't manipulate me further!

    i've seen pics from grandpa jim and grandma marian's wedding, and the dress in the pics looked v. v. diff from that dress from the crawlspace!

    apes

     
  • At 1:05 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…

    April,

    Formerly little sis. There is much to be admired about Elizabeth’s position of waiting and not rushing into marriage with Anthony Caine. She has often said that when she says, "yes", it will be because she knows for certain it will be a working, long-term partnership. For Elizabeth, the ceremony is secondary. Security and commitment come first! She has to have the time to hold her relationship with Anthony Caine up to the light and see it for what it is. This is tricky for Elizabeth because, as you know, she has to wear corrective lenses. A careful examination must occur before she can truly say, “Yes! I think it is time to set a date for a wedding ceremony.” She has to answer questions like:

    Am I going to be able to stand having a Quebecoise child call me mom?
    Am I going to be able to deal with a Quebecoise ex-wife who looks better, and dresses better, is smarter, and has much better breath than I do?
    What if I am too old to have my own non-Quebecoise children, because I have waited so long to get married?
    Why doesn’t Anthony Caine make as much money as Mike does with his novels?
    Am I going to be able to go through life married to a man who is not as good looking as my brother?
    Why does Mike get to live in the house on Sharon Park Drive and I have to live in Gordon Mayes’ old house?
    Why am I asking myself such ridiculous questions, and not just getting married to Anthony, like everyone wants?

    There is nothing like a conversation with Mom to put things in perspective. You always know when mom says something like, “Do what’s right for you,” which is completely out-of-character with the way mom has been for the last 30 years, that this is really mom-speak for “Stop thinking of yourself! Or I will start shrieking!” Elizabeth knows that, just as you and I do. After all, a summer wedding would be nice!

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     
  • At 1:23 PM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    A summer wedding, eh? At least that narrows down the range over which my wife Beatrice has to look for wedding cancelations and reservations your sister can take over. However, you need at least 3 months lead time to pick out bridesmaid dresses, order them and then to get them fitted and altered after they arrive. Beatrice has been told to look for last minute wedding cancellations where the bridesmaid dresses can be purchased too, and hopefully they can be altered to fit you, Shawna-Marie Verano and Dawn Enjo.

    I just had a horrifying thought. Your sister cannot possibly get a decent caterer for the reception. She is probably going to have to rely on Anne Nichols to do it. Oh, the food will be horrible. I will make sure to ask Beatrice to see if a “last-minute cancelled” wedding also has a caterer arrangement your sister can take over too.

    Love,
    Howard Bunt

     
  • At 1:37 PM, OpenID dreadedcandiru2 said…

    april_patterson:

    There is nothing like a conversation with Mom to put things in perspective. You always know when mom says something like, “Do what’s right for you,” which is completely out-of-character with the way mom has been for the last 30 years, that this is really mom-speak for “Stop thinking of yourself! Or I will start shrieking!” Elizabeth knows that, just as you and I do. After all, a summer wedding would be nice!

    What he said!

     
  • At 2:16 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…

    Dreadedcandiru2,

    Well, supervillain catfish. I am not used to you agreeing with me. It makes me rethink my position. Let me think. Mom’s shrieking is normal for mom. Mom saying, “Do what’s right for you.” That is not normal for mom. Amazing, catfish. I think I still agree with my position, despite the fact you agree with it too.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     
  • At 2:20 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, reverse-psych by ur mom on ur sis? thass prolly it. i mean, ur sis sez, “i’m engaged” & ur mom sez, “let’s plan the weddin’” & ur sis sez, “i don’t wanna rush n2 it” & then wen ur mom sez, “take ur tyme”, ur sis sez, “summer weddin’”. it’s like ur sis iz tryin’ 2b opposite of ur mom. i guess i can c that. u do it 2, sumtymez.

    just yestahday, ur mom put her armz ‘round u w/a big hug & sed, “if u wanna have jeremy az ur bf, thass fine. it’s ur decision 2 make, april.” & then u sed, “on the othah hand. livin’ in mboro w/gerald wud b nice.” & then u like shook ur head rilly hard & sed, “oh no u don’t reverse-psych me, mom! i’m not like liz. jeremy’s my bf & i am not gonna live in mboro.” then ur mom hugged u & sed, “of course, april. do wut’s rite 4u.” then u sed, “wut’s rite 4 me is gerald & mboro.” then u like snapped outa it & sed, “mom! cut out the reverse-psych! i am not gonna live in mboro.” then ur mom touched ur shoulder & sed, “i am happy u just have solid plans 4 the future, no matter where u live.” then u started singin’, “mboro. mboro. thass the town 4 me. mboro. mboro. thass where i will be.” & u were marchin' 'round the house, wen u tripped on sumthin', bonked ur head & then u sed, “argh! u will not break me, mom.” then u grabbed me & sed, “jeremy, get me outa here b4 i go crayzee.” then ur mom sed, “stay out az l8 az u wunt!” & u sed, “i’ll b back by dinner!”

    the part i don’t get iz if ur mom haz this kinda power ovah ur sis, y didn’t she just use it a long tyme ago. like insteada sayin’, “anthony caine iz a gr8 guy.” she coulda sed, “constable paul wright is a gr8 guy. 4get anthony” & then mebbe ur sis woulda got engaged a lot earlier. i mean, 1 of the reasons u wanna go way 4 uni & then not come back 2 mboro afterwards is that u wanna make sure ur mom duzn't manipulate u further!

    w8. i think i know the diff. ur mom wuz standin’ behind u & huggin’ u. she wuz actually like, nice 2u. thass prolly the diff. ur not used 2 it. she musta hugged ur sis 2 wen she sed she wunted 2 plan the weddin’. thass wut made ur sis wanna take it slow. wen ur mom iz nice 2u & not naggin’ u, then it must throw u & ur sis off. thass it, i think. watch out wen ur mom goez 4 a hug. it’s not natural.

     
  • At 2:56 PM, OpenID patrickrsghost said…

    Jeremy:

    April singing about Milborough being the place for her reminded me of the book and movie "1984", where in the future everyone's thoughts are controlled by Big Brother. "Oceania is where I want to be / Oligarchy is the gov for me / Meeting Julia for carnal sin / Keep Eurasia just give me that Victory Gin."

    In this case they're controlled by Big Elly.

     
  • At 4:39 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    patrickrsghost, it duz sound like that book or movie. ‘course the diff is controllin’ ur mind 2 do the opposite of wut u say. but big elly soundz rite. she’s one of the biggest women in mboro.

     
  • At 6:46 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    mike, don't u think the time 4 liz 2 do all that considering abt anthony wda been B4 she sed "yes" 2 getting engaged?

    apes

     
  • At 6:46 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    oh, and jeremy, i think u r rite abt the whole "mom being nice" thing. that's gotta b it. i will hafta dodge her the next time she goes in 4 a hug!

    apes

     
  • At 6:49 PM, Anonymous Liz Patterson said…

    Michael, how dare you say such terrible things about me! And you are not better-looking than Anthony. That's why you're "Ugly Brother" and Anthony isn't "Ugly Anthony," let alone "Even Uglier Anthony."

    Liz Patterson

     
  • At 7:26 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…

    April,

    Formerly little sis. “Considering Anthony before she said “yes” to getting engaged?” Honestly, April. Have you been asleep the last year? Have you no idea what it took?

    Remember what the family had to go through just to get Anthony to ask Elizabeth to dance at that wedding? Remember how much his date (and dad’s dental patient) Julia had to browbeat him to take any action at all?

    If it weren’t for the timely and extremely coincidental intervention of Warren Blackwood, Elizabeth wouldn’t have gotten that proposal at all. Of course she has to say “yes” when it arrives; otherwise there was a good chance there would be no second opportunity.

    No, formerly little sis. Elizabeth has done things in the right order.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     
  • At 7:27 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…

    Elizabeth,

    Slightly older little sis. Of course, I am not better-looking than Anthony Caine. How silly of me to say that. I meant to say that I am younger-looking than Anthony Caine. Pardon my error.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     
  • At 7:29 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, omg. omg. i think ur mom haz discovered her secret power w/those hugz, especially if she sticks ur head in between her breasts like she did 2 ur sis. i dunno wut i’ve done! i dunno wut i’ve done!!! i wuz knockin’ @the front door of ur place 2 come ovah 2 study w/u 4 xxamz & the next thing i remembah iz i went frum knockin’ on a door 2 havin’ my head between 2 knockerz. please tell me i didn’t do nethin’ st00pid. please tell me there’s a logical reasn i have butter tart crumbs all ovah my body.

     
  • At 7:42 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    mike, all the questions u imagined liz asking herself seemed 2 pt 2 the idea that mayB liz wd realize she didn't want 2 marry anthony afterall. and mite break the engagement. how does it not make sense 4 liz 2 decide whether or not anthony is the rite guy b4 accepting the engagement?

    or is yr whole pt supposed 2 b that all of those questions r just going thru the motions and of course it will come out that liz wants 2 marry anthony?

    jeremy, well, it was kind of weird. u came over, and mom sed, "jeremy jones, won't u have sum butter tarts? my martian teenage daughter sez she won't eat them because they're not 'vegan.' what foolishness!" and u sed, "nah, that's ok, i'll support april by not eating them, either." my mom hugged u and sed, "that's ok, jeremy jones, do what feels rite 2 u." next thing i knew, u scarfed up all thoze butter tarts!

    apes

     
  • At 10:54 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i've washed & washed & i can't get off the smell. wut do u use 2 get ur mom's odour off u after she hugs u w/her breasts?

     
  • At 11:06 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…

    April,

    Formerly little sis. When it comes to decisions about men, our sister is not the fastest on the block. Remember how she continued to date that Eric Chamberlain fellow who was cheating on her for months after almost everyone she knew told her that he was cheating on her? It takes a little bit for things to sink in. Even though she knows and accepts in her heart that Anthony Caine is the man for her, it may take her a little longer to mentally process this truth. In fact, I think it is fairly safe to say that Elizabeth may continue to make judgments about Anthony Caine all through her marriage, just like Mom has been doing with Dad for practically their whole marriage, and just like you will probably do in your marriage to Gerald.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     

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