April's Real Blog

Thursday, June 05, 2008


So, the day after my recent mall trip, I did go 2 visit Gramps and Iris. Gramps was sleeping when I got there, so we went in2 the bedroom, and I was all, "Grampa? Grampa..." I noticed that his glasses and the remote control were next 2 him on the bed. Iris went, "April's here 2 C U, Jim. April's here!" Gramps went, "Mm?" Iris kinda pulled him up 2 a seated position while saying, "Let me help U up." And Gramps sed, "Yes?" Then Iris sed 2 me, "Put the tea on, wd U, sweetheart?" And I sed, "Sure." While I was putting the tea on, I cd hear Iris saying, "She brought her music and a box of yr favourite cookies, and she's going 2 stay 4 dinner." C, I decided 2 bring more than time. And Gramps sed, "Yes?" Once I'd gotten the tea into 2 teapot and the cups set up on the counter, Iris opened the bedroom door and sed, "He's so pleased 2 C U, he wants 2 walk our here on his own, so U can C how well he's doing!" Then Gramps came out of the bedroom, struggling w/all his might 2 walk out using his walker. And his struggle made me so sad, I thought, "I want 2 cry."

Jeremy, I hafta say our visit w/yr grandparents last nite was v. interesting. I was surprised they knew so much abt my life, yr life, our friends' lives, and how things "work" in Mboro. It's almost like they sit around each day finding out stuff that happens 2 us and discussing it in gr8 detail 2 make jokes abt us!

Also, I luv U, 2!!! <3 <3 <3


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  • At 10:22 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i luv u! i guess ur done w/ur story ‘bout shoppin’ w/eva @the mall & u didn’t rilly get 2 the part where u & eva ran n2 othah peeps frum r.p. boire. & i don’t rilly know ur side of wut gerald haz been tellin’ me ‘bout him meetin’ u in the mall. but i luv u & i don’t care wut gerald sez happed.

    but it’s good 2 finally hear wut happed wen u went 2 visit ur grandpa. it xxplains y wud cry @almost nethin’ aftah ur visit. i kinda figgered thingz didn’t go well, evn tho u sed u cudn’t talk ‘bout them yet. neway, u can cry on my shoulder netime u wunt, evn if i don’t know the reasn y. i luv u.

  • At 10:35 AM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. I am quite pleased you are spending time with Grandpa Jim. I know he was delighted with my most recent visit where I read him my most recent best-selling book Blood Cargo. At one point in my reading, he was clearly struggling to get something, and Iris said he wanted the television remote. Why he would want that while I was intoning the exciting story of Leonard Driscoll sailing the 7 Seas on a Windjammer, I do not know for certain. Grandpa Jim can be difficult to understand at times. Perhaps it was to give me some background music for additional dramatic effect. However, from your description it sounds like Grandpa Jim is now sleeping next to the television remote, no doubt so he can be ready for the next time I visit and read him one of my books.

    As for Grandpa Jim’s ability to walk by himself, I think I can once again attribute it to the healing powers of my novel. Just as it brought Grandpa Jim out of his coma when I read him my first novel Stone Season; I remember clearly Iris telling Jim after I read him Blood Cargo, “Well, Jim. If that doesn’t get you motivated to be able to walk to get away, I don’t know what will. I am certainly not going to wheel you away.” There you have it.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 10:41 AM, Blogger howard said…


    You said you got him a box of his favourite cookies in your Blog entry, but when I talked to Iris she said you got him a box of his favorite cookies. Only one of those is on his diet. Those U.S. cookies are loaded with awful stuff, not like good, hearty Canadian cookies.

    I don’t know if you can reveal anything yet, but did Iris give you the latest news about Jim’s upcoming change of accomodations? I’m just curious who knows.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 10:59 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    thanx, jeremy, 4 offering yr shoulder. and yr luv. <3

    now i guess i m free 2 tell u that eva and i didn't even c gerald @ the mall during our recent shopping trip. i wish ger were as honest as u r, jeremy! whatev he's been telling peeps abt running in2 me @ the mall during my shopping trip w/eva, it's all lies! we did c vicki simone 4 a minute or so, but she had just received an emergency txt and was on her way 2 hospital. usual reason!

    mike, iris did mention that gramps has been motiv8ed 2 build up his "running away from michael's writing" skills.

    howard, i think sumtimes iris sez "favorite" instead of "favourite" in case sum peeps from the st8s r listening. which is odd, since we r in ontario and all.


  • At 12:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You wouldn't believe how good the acoustics are down here in the states. They're so good, we can even hear you when you thought bubble.

    Whenever someone's eating (does everyone up there eat that noisily?), I can hear every CHOMP-SMACK-SMACK-SLUURRRPPP-CHOMP-CHOMP-SMACK-SMACK-BURP-HIC given off by the people or even the animals.

    When your mom was having digestion problems a while back, we could hear her stomach BBLURGLL all the way down here in Georgia. I'm sure they can even hear them down in Florida.

    Whenever Mike was working on his last two books, or is working on his next one, we can hear the TICKA-TICKA-TAP-TAP-TICK-TICKITY-TAP-TAP-TAPPITY-TAP of the keyboard.

    As far as I understand, they can't hear it that well down in Barbados, which may be why it's so unnaturally quiet whenever you and your friends go down there with Duncan and his Silhouette.

  • At 1:48 PM, Blogger howard said…


    After patrickrsghost’s comment, I think I have to watch what I say, in case someone from the States is listening. I like the USA. They are great.

    By the way, did you notice the new tea pot and chesterfield that your Grandpa Jim and Iris have now? The new chesterfield has no arms on it, like the old one did, so your grandpa no longer has to maneuver his way around those to sit. He just doesn’t have the arm strength he once did, so now all he has to do is get close to the chesterfield on any side of it with his walker and he can get up. Iris says it has been working out well; but she always does. The last time your mom was in Lilliput’s, she made a comment to my wife Beatrice about how it would be nice if her father had a new chesterfield without arms. Naturally, your family’s “time not gifts” policy stands in the way of your mother bringing over anything that isn’t rented or food. So, Beatrice and I talked about it and decided it would be a good way to show our daughters, Ana and María, how “gifts” work. Iris was delighted by the idea, and with a few suggestions as to what colour scheme she would like, we picked something out and had it delivered.

    My girls picked out the new tea pot for Iris, after they saw how old and plain the old one was. Beatrice was quite proud that they came up with this idea all by themselves. They all know I used to work for your grandpa and Iris a few years ago, and it’s nice to do something for the elderly living close by, especially when their own grandparents are in the United States (birth father’s side) and Argentina.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 2:01 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. Well there’s no "running away from Michael Patterson's writing" skills in Milborough. Grandpa Jim can try, but even as I was walking through the Milborough Seniors’ Living Palace to and from their apartment, there were many elderly who noticed me and said things like, “Are you the same Michael Patterson who wrote Stone Season and Blood Cargo?” I would say, “Yes I am.” Then they would say, “Are you related to Jim and Iris Richards?” I would say, “Yes. Jim Richards is proud to say he is my grandfather.” Then they would say, “I’m going to get Jim for that.”

    You see, April. Even old people are aware of my writing skills.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 2:25 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i shud’ve known gerald wuz lyin’ 2 me. it’s just weird the way he duzn’t wanna b in a relationship w/u cuz of hiz “career” but he wunts u2b available ne time he wunts 2 kiss sum1 or go 2 a party.

    neway, wut he sed wuz that he ran n2 u & eva in the mall. he sed u told him u cudn’t find ne clothes 2 pick out 2 take 2 ur grandpa 4 ur visit. then he sed he suggested u just take cookies like u always do & then he sed u gave him a hug & a kiss & sed, “i can always count on u, ger.” i mean wen i think ‘bout it, it iz so obvious wut he sed wuz a lie. i luv u!

    so iz gordie duroccher still in hospital? i haven't heard frum vicki simone in what seems like years.

  • At 3:32 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    omg, patrickrsghost, i had no idea abt the acoustics. yay, st8s! st8s r gr8!!!

    howard, i did notice the new chesterfield and teapot. they were v. nice and gramps and iris seemed v. proud of them!

    mike, i never sed the old peeps had ne awareness probs. on the contrary. if u wanna run away from sumthing, u r usually aware of it 1st. like there's a bear, u b-come aware of the bear, and u wanna get away!


  • At 3:34 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    jeremy, of course ger was lying! like i can't figure that stuff out w/out his "suggestions." yeah, rite!

    i dunno abt gordie. if i c vicki, i'll ask!


  • At 5:58 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. I am not sure what you are saying about bears. However, I did have a lovely impromptu autograph session at the Milborough Seniors’ Living Palace. One of the old codgers said, “Michael. I would love to get an autographed copy of your book. Do you have any around?” Naturally I carry some with me in the car, precisely for situations like that.

    I signed some very interesting autographs that day, formerly little sis: “To my son Albert. This gift is a reminder that you don’t visit me enough. The author of this book has written another book too. Remember that the next time you’re thinking of skipping a visit.” “To my daughter JoAnn. This book is a big thank you for the last time you tried to have me declared incompetent.” Those were 2 of my favourites. Old people sure want funny autographs.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 6:23 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, ur funny. i sed, “wut shud peeps do 4 hospital visits?” & u sed, “nething but connie poirier 2 talk ‘bout 1979.” i think i can do that.

    gordie looked pretty awful. vicki sed he had damaged his body so much, they were thinkin’ ‘bout a brain transplant. i didn’t evn know they cud do that, but the doc sed it wuz a pretty common procedure in mboro. now that i think ‘bout it, there have been sum peeps ovah the years who looked completely diff frum 1 tyme 2 the next, w/o ne kinda xxplanation.

  • At 7:23 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    jeremy, that sure wd xxplain lots of what happs in mboro, eh?

    what time do u wanna meet 2nite?


  • At 7:42 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, now or 8 is fine.

  • At 7:51 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    k, i'll b rite over!


  • At 8:04 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, ovah here iz best, i agree. i mean we hadda a good run ovah @ur place w/ur mom & dad always outside guardin’ their new tree frum edgar. but we prolly pushed it a little 2 far wen ur mom found the…um…water balloons (smart thinkin’ on ur part 2 come up w/that). we gotta stern lecture frum ur mom ‘bout throwin’ water balloons & we were pretty lucky she didn’t ask y we wud throw water balloons the place where she found them.

    neway, back 2 studyin’ & study breaks of course. i luv u.

  • At 9:03 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    mm, studying has been v. v., um, energizing, eh?


  • At 9:10 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i wud say kinda drainin', but i have a diff perspective.

  • At 9:19 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    aw, man, i think jeremy just fell asleep! i'm gonna cover him and try (try!) not 2 wake him up.


  • At 10:06 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, well that wuz a nice little nap. u say ur reddy 4 round 2 of "studying"? all right.


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