April's Real Blog

Monday, October 22, 2007

Wherein I channel Fleetwood Mac

Keesha, thanx 4 giving me the link 2 yr interview w/Mike 4 the school paper.

Hey, did U know I'm still in a band? And that Dunc came back from Barbardos? Well, I am [that may B ending] and he did.

So, the other day, I was standing in the hallway @ school w/Dunc and Luis, when Ger came along. Ger was all, "It's totally arranged, guys. We R THE BAND on "Wicked Wednesday." Dunc went, "Cool!" and Luis sed, "Aw-right." I was like, "Yay." Ger's ears went way hi on his head as he sed, "Yay"? ...U sound less than enthused." And I went, "Gerald, we're giving up another Halloween nite 2 perform!" Which, now that I think of it, is an odd thing 2 say, cuz when have we ever given up a Halloween nite 2 perform. Last yr, we played @ Gym Jam, but that was during the day--and what did we even do on Halloween nite? I don't remember. And the yr B4 that? What big Halloween performance did we do? NEway, w/this new chip in my brain that sez we R alwayz giving up our Halloween nites 2 B the entertainment, I was like, "Y don't WE party 4 a change?" And Ger was all, "Party?!! But we're popular now! We're on the ladder of success!" Eh, since when? I was like, "I don't wanna B on this ladder!" Eva, who had been consipicuously absent, suddenly appeared, as if a bad storyteller had only just remembered that she's in our band and oughta B present. Ger asked, "U wanna sit on the stump of mediocrity?" And I sed, "No. ....I want to go my own way." Then Eva busted out w/"U can go your own way/Go your own way/U can call it/Another lonely day/U can go your own way/Go your own way." And then, the next thing that happened was--aw, nuts, my fone's ringing--I'll hafta tell U 2morrow.


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  • At 7:07 AM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    Just don't be too surprised that they decide that they can just as easily get along without you, if not easier. You've lived a fairly sheltered life, little girl, so you probably don't realize that their parents aren't too thrilled that the little hate-on you got going on with Beckers stands between their kids and a juicy recording contract. With you on the outside looking on, your pseudo-freinds will be tragically condemned to sharing the same misery (fame, popularity, money, life that doesn't revolve around serving the needs of a passive-aggressive jackass and racing around after a boy-girl pair of destructive brats while denying your own needs) that Rebecca-with-an-H's eeeeeevil ambitions made her embrace.

  • At 9:35 AM, Anonymous nacnud nosredna said…

    Hey, Apes,

    Im going 2 quit the band 2. Ur so rite, there r much bettah things 2 do on Halloween than playing a gig. Y dont we take Merrie & Robin trick or treating, that wld b way cuber.

    Yr best bud 4 evah,
    Duncan Anderson

  • At 10:53 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…


    that soundz cube!


  • At 2:30 PM, Blogger howard said…


    I spent the weekend going caving with the Girl Guides. My wife Beatrice was supposed to go, but she has been so busy trying to push the stock of your brother’s book Stone Season on Lilliput’s customers, she couldn’t get the time off. One of your mother’s little presents to Moira Kinney was a massive preorder of the book, almost same number of books that Lilliput’s has of all the other books in the store combined together.

    Since Beatrice couldn’t go caving, I went. We stayed at the local Girl Guide Camp Kiawa and then went caving in the Niagara Escarpment Caves during the day. Both my girls, María and Ana are in the Guides, and they had a great time, particularly because they were small enough to easily fit through areas where their larger father had to squeeze. It is definitely not a sport for the claustrophobic. We all wore hard hats, but mine had many gashes in it, which would have been my head against rock. I was quite happy to have it on.

    Anyway, something very unusual happened during the course of the trip. We found an underground lake/pond/ pool of extremely stagnant water. The girls were warned not to go in the water or really near the water, because of potential disease. However, they came running to me and pointed out that they could see someone in the water when they turned their light on it. I didn’t think you could get much of a reflection off of stagnant underground water, but I humoured them and found much to my surprise, there was an actual person reflected in the pool of water and it was not María or Ana or me.

    Against the rules I went into the water and pulled out a very muddy Jeremy Jones. It was quite a surprise, and Jeremy seemed to be shocked that he was so far away from Milborough as the Niagara Escarpment Caves. When we got him back to Milborough, his mother was shocked to see him too, and she took him to hospital to make sure he was properly checked out. From what she told me, it appears to be the real Jeremy and he might be back in school today at R.P. Boire with you. Of course he will have to make up for missing September and most of October, but his mother told me his teachers have said nothing has happened in R.P. Boire since last June, so he should catch up easily.

    Apparently Jeremy has had quite an adventure since he “died” back in August, and he probably wants to tell it to you himself. I just thought I would let you know, so you wouldn’t be too shocked to see him.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 3:22 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i’m back.

    neway, it wuzn’t 1 of those “no1 can c me thingz” like wut happed 2 eva a little while ago, or 1 of those “i’m in a silhouette all the freakin’ tyme” like wut seems 2 happ 2 luis guzmán. it wuz more kinda like “i’m ‘bout 2b crushed by tulips & @the last minute i kinda got yanked n2 the mirror world by lirpa, who sed she wuz lookin’ out 4 me.” ‘course once i wuz there i cudn’t get out. lirpa sed she left u a lotta notes 2 kinda hint u were supposed 2 pull me out if u saw me, but i guess u didn’t unnerstand them, or mebbe lirpa didn’t want me 2 leave so mebbe she left rilly lame notes. i dunno.

    i kinda got 2 the point where i wuz thinkin’ i wud nevah b back in this world again & seein’ r.p. boire again. aftah 2 months, u start thinkin’ like it’s all ovah & grade 11 w/u & all the peeps will nevah become a reality. then surprise! it’s back! i’m swimmin’ in lirpa’s pool & i see this weird thing reflectin’ off the smoky glass light on the bottom of the pool & wen i swim down to see wut it is, it’s howeird & 2 girl guides & howeird yanks me out & i am in sum cave way west of mboro.

    lotsa thingz changed while i wuz gone. howard iz w/beatrice & not becky. mom got married while i wuz gone 2. future dad iz now real step-dad. future sis iz real step-sis, but it’s not rilly a prob w/her cuz she’s @trinity 4 university. mom started rentin’ my room out 2 boarders & she made a whole lotta changes 2 the room 2 mprove it 2, which made me kinda wonder y she didn’t do that stuff while i wuz “alive.” mom also got rid of all my stuff 2 make space 4 the renter.

    neway, i’m tryin’ 2 catch up. i don’t think most peeps here knew i wuz gone. mosta them are all kinda talkin’ ‘bout the defamation lawsuit filed against the r.p. boire reporter cuz of sum article written by keesha grant.

    it’s good 2b back. i think.

  • At 6:47 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    wow, jeremy, welcome back! i'm sorry, lirpa never really xxplained that it was poss 4 mr 2 just c yr reflection an' pull u out. i kept thinking she was gonna give me sum kinda instructions, but she never did!

    howard, wow! thanx 4 letting me know what happened.


  • At 6:49 PM, Anonymous Keesha Grant said…

    April, there is sum rumour going around that sum1 is suing the school paper 4 defamation cuz of my interview w/yr bro. I don't understand, all I did was write what happed in the interview!


  • At 6:50 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    keesha, eva told me she heard sumthing abt that, but she didn't know ne deets. mike hasn't sed nething 2 me as yet.


  • At 7:14 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. Reiner and Browne, the publishers of my book Stone Season have quite a powerful legal department, and some have said they get more money from suing people for defamation over their books than they get from the books themselves. Apparently the better the book it is, the more attention it attracts from people who are jealous of my talent. In fact, Mr. Reiner himself sent me a letter telling me that my book was so good; he expected that there could be an unprecedented opportunity to make money. I have the feeling "Michael Patterson, best-selling author" is a title I will soon have.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 8:58 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    omg, mike, that's terrible. they're going after a school paper just cuz they published that interview w/u? that's gonna make yr publisher look hella bad.



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